Month: December 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 2 Month: December 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 2

thank god that’s over! the Wakefield Doctrine (“it’s totally not true that clarks experience distress during major holidays…. bitch”)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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You know how I just got through writing how Christmas is such a clarklike holiday? And how we said that, because clarks are all kinds of self-less and giving and such, that we do Christmas better’n the other two, at least in the old-school sense of the word?  It’s true. clarks do totally rock the Christmas spirit. So, why the developing un-ease as the Day itself is upon us? (Many clarks report a sense of: tiredness, reduced excitement, blunted affect, irritability, anogasmia, a desire to take up smoking cigarettes just to have an excuse to step outside on the porch, and totally be willing to be the one to ‘drive to the store for a couple of items that are needed for Dinner’.)

If you feel that way today or expect to feel that way today*, then we have reassuring news for you. It’s them, it’s not you!

The Christmas Holiday, like so many of the other holidays, (and to be honest, like much of life itself), has a way of being commandeered by one (or both) of the other two personality types.

  1. scotts  so many people, so many presents, so many bright lights and things that move and show unmistakable signs of delicious life!  (picture if you will, a lion cub taken from the pack just a season before maturity. the cub has the instinctual and learned survival skills, practiced as much as is possible from a season of play with the other cubs. let the cub skip a few meals and then put him/her in an empty basement and after a day of pumping the aroma of a nice roast beef, take a bushel of hamsters and gerbils and dump them down the laundry chute.**  …Merry Christmas Simba!
  2. rogers  there are so many memories that need to be created…no time for frivolity!  don’t you see the scene?!?!  it’s a happy (and grateful), appreciative (and grateful) festive day full of (grateful) family members coming together to enjoy the holiday! so don’t fuck it up with your moodiness and oh-look-I-want-to-be-alone strangeness! this is a once in a year opportunity to come together in a joyous celebration of the family and tradition (well, then…do it outside, ok?)

We kid the rogers and scotts. No, we do!  But we love them as well (as we are able).  New Readers? Well, there are these three ways of experiencing the world and you do it one of the three ways. The Doctrine says that the nature of the way that you see the world is your personality type. OK?  We don’t need to know your likes and dislikes and pet peeves and such. All we need to do (notice we didn’t say, ‘need to know from you‘?) is correctly infer how you relate yourself to the world around you. After that everything else sorta takes care of itself. The three ways to ‘relate yourself to the world around you’ are:

  1. as an Outsider. from as far back as you can remember (and it’s pretty far back), you have looked at the people in your life and wondered  where you dropped the ball, what you missed learning about how to be the way they clearly are…together and, (from this early early time in your life), you have resolved to learn what they seem to already know, all while trying not to be identified as a person who was left out… Merry Christmas  clarks!
  2. as a Predator. you wonder why some people think, “oh what an unkind thing to say, calling that nice girl a Predator“, you don’t give it a second thought and you know why? (no, we know that you don’t know why, because you don’t give a shit about the why’s and the ‘oh-if-only-I-knew-more‘), because you are too busy living…living a life that is full of threats and opportunity, fun and danger, excitement and the occasional quiet moments of sleep, you know what you are… you’re alive!!!!  Merry Christmas  scotts
  3. as a Member of the Herd. and no, you don’t walk around thinking I am a Member of the Herd, we get that. What you do is live a life that is full of potential and hard work, enjoying some pleasures but only when earned, people all around you who you can help live a better life….a Right Way and a universe that was designed to be understood and shared with the future generations, both real and imagined… Merry Christmas rogers

New Readers? Still with us?  Good. So you have one of these as your predominant worldview, (the character of your personal reality), but you never lose the capacity to experience the world as do the other two. So don’t be surprised if you get confused at first seeing in yourself  one personality type and then at times another. That just means you have a significant secondary (or tertiary) aspect. Don’t worry about that now. This is the fun and carefree phase of learning the Wakefield Doctrine. The rest comes later.

To all the DownSprings and Friends of the Doctrine and Readers and such,  thank you for stopping by! Do have the best, dominant worldview-appropriate, day possible today.

 

clark
(a clark with (a) significant secondary scottian and minimal tertiary rogerian aspects)

 

*when it comes to emotional response, clarks see no reason to leave them to the last-minute! get ahead of that worry, that concern that fear!! don’t wait!  be prepared!!

** this is a feature in many old, old houses where the washing machine was in the cellar, an opening in the wall of the bathroom closet that was directly above the laundry area… go ahead and put a half full laundry basket for the gerbils to land in… give ’em a better shot at getting away

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Christmas 2013: the 800 pound gorilla of Holidays the Wakefield Doctrine says, ‘what’s in your sock this year?’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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You know how we say, ‘everyone does everything at one time or another’?  This is meant, of course, to help those of us trying to use the Doctrine in our lives, to stay focused on the concept that it is how a thing (or an idea, or a job or a hobby, a career or…a holiday) appears to the individual, given their worldview. The preferred way to express this is, ‘everything in life manifests for the individual as a direct reflection of their predominant worldview’. So a painting like, oh I don’t know,  ‘Christina’s World’  or maybe ‘Nighthawks’ won’t just be perceived differently to a clark than it will to a scott or a roger, it will be a different painting (for the individual).  Same painting …three different realities, therefore three slightly different works of art.

What does this have to do with Christmas gorillas? Everything.  While we will often say that, of the big three holidays, Christmas, is the most clarklike celebration, what we are trying to convey is the sense that the nature of the clarklike worldview and the spirit of giving traditionally associated with this holiday have a lot in common. Another way to say it, ‘clarks can ‘do Christmas’ better than the other two can, (provided we are talking about the self-less giving form of Christmas). This does not mean that scotts and rogers can’t  manage to pull off a successful Xmas! they do!! their’s are just a little…louder  and more  well-put-together.  (“…hey!!!! honey!! you know how you said you would handle the kid’s presents this year?? well…I decided we needed to do more… even if it’s 11:30  you got some extra wrapping paper??  the chainsaw I got Billy keeps ripping the paper…great!!   look at what the guys down at the shop got me…a belt!!  yeah ya know I betcha that is mistletoe!”)  or    (“...now dear, you promised to help decorate the presents this year! how are we going to take Christmas memory photos in the morning if you don’t help me …no, dear, the book says that they would have put the   jasmine, champaka, lotus, lillies, ashoka, nerium/oleander, chrysanthemum, roses, hibiscus, pinwheel flowers, manoranjitam over the doorway, otherwise the incense holders would ignite the pressed leaves!  that’s good  and the roast pig is ready for the oven…be a dear and be sure to take the chutney out of the fridge in the morning and bury it next to the duck liver in the snow bank, no, I’m quite sure that’s how the Vikings celebrated… no, I’m pretty sure that’s not a Viking tradition…I don’t care if the guys at work bought it specially for you…. turn off the lights then, at least…. isn’t this beautiful?  wait!!  wake up the kids  no, it’s only 1:30  they’ve been asleep for hours…we have to get this for the family album… yes, of course they have to get dressed!! hurry before we lose the moment!”)

…this Christmas 2013, all of us at the Wakefield Doctrine are thinking of all you Readers ….you’re all, collectively and individually, the coolest gift a hard-working, well-meaning, ambitious blog writer could hope for…   thank you

 

The enormity of the Christmas holiday? (from last year’s Christmas Post) It has clear appeal and, in fact, resonates strongly with all three personality types:

  • clarks: who love to give…selflessly, and to an extreme, we will give everything that we (think) we have to give, in the hopes of becoming so much a part of the group…which is, in fact all, of you ‘out there in the world’…that we will no longer consider ourselves the Outsiders
  • scotts: who love to give because there is so much life and activity inherent in a celebration such as is manifested by Christmas, that all they can do is run around and bark at the lights (or bark using lights), chase down and herd those who gather together on this holiday, never stopping, until without warning, they drop into a sleep, like a 2 month old puppy… wherever they last stood, eyes closed, teeth showing, legs twitching as the chase continues in their dream with the occasional wag of the tale, showing their essentially good natures
  • rogers: a tradition and the participation of nearly all people, Christmas has everything they could want and to top it all off, there is the second most feared manifestation of ‘referential authority’ there is:  Santa Claus! …the gift giver who keeps records, verifies those records and rewards and punishes behavior, all by standards that, while thought by most to be understood, are never explicitly stated.

So to all our friends (new and old), those of us here at the Wakefield Doctrine say, ‘Yo Ho Ho’!

(from the provious year’s Xmas Post)… just so you can have the damn song stuck in your head for a week, here is a video of :

 

And just so you don’t get too warm and cozy, here are the actual lyrics:

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We’re happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland. (ok nothing too strange, a fairly attractive image, sort of what we remember about the song.)

Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
As we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland. (still safe, expanding the imagery to include the local fauna, the better to highlight local, seasonal climate changes, safe, safe.)

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown (?)

He’ll say: Are you married? (Who?  me?!, “Am I married”? what the hell are you asking that for?! …and who the fuck is Parson Brown?)
We’ll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you’re in town. (!?! The ground is beginning to feel decidedly spongy…)

Later on, we’ll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we’ve made, (Yes! The Plans! “…tell about the Plans, George! tell about the Plans…” )
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he’s a circus clown (No, there is absolutely nothing funny/charming/cute about a circus clown made of snow, standing alone, in a field, un-moving…at the moment)
We’ll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
Until the other kids knock him down. (Other ‘kids’? Exactly how old is this person, I mean he is talking about marriage for Christs sake!)

When it snows, ain’t it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We’ll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, (Yeah great lifestyle choice, eat still-warm animal flesh, kiss with our noses and give birth on an ice floe. Merry Christmas you weird-ass, singing 27-going-on-13 year-old)
Walking in a winter wonderland.

 

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…no! yeah what? TToT the Wakefield Doctrine ( it’s a home alone weekend part 2 )

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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I am grateful for:

1) the Secret Book of Rules (aka Book of Secret Rules) of the TToT  it’s a way for any and all of us to, from time to time and as the mood may strike us, to put a flashing and/or revolving light on our damn heads and no one will laugh at us (unless, of course, that we picked out a  ‘hey ain’t this light funny?’ light)

2) the number Ten  …how much of our lives has centered around this small but neat quantity? I’ll tell you… it is not the huge number of times, it’s the huge importance of  that which is centered around ’10’  (“…I’m going to count to, close your eyes and count backwards… home many do you think you had… and this many fingers make?” )

3) the internet which permits us to be the people that: we want to be, would hope to be, are afraid that we really are, pray that no one discovers what we are really like, know we can do better, believe that there are worse ways to be, meet the people we would be intimidated by in RL, know that if we just had a minute without that voice in our heads saying the same thing over and over as it has for a lifetime…

4) the eternal (and at times, slightly suggestive and way sexy) Seven GuardVirgins  (and to  Cyndi for alerting us to their existence)

5) music videos which allow us to not just say something profound/funny/sexy/important/silly  but to do it loud!!  (3 of my favorites:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_8OOyrPOs0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrhsBYhfgEo

6)  the simplest of facts: while we all recognize the ‘advisability of being grateful’ and the ‘beneficial effects of gratitude lists’  all of these are a whisper in a hurricane when compared to seeing the effects in people you have come to know… with the added (slightly scottian) benefit of seeing the changes in another before they see it in themselves

7) the Wakefield Doctrine for it’s  oddly disturbing, but always impressive insights into the behavior of the people in (my)(your)(their) lives

8) photos… the ones that I put at the top of virtually every Post… now there’s a Post in and of itself… why that photo with that Post?  (for those of you who do this photo thing in your own blog know… I’m constantly surprised/delighted/amused/frightened by the end product ….because,  on some Posts, the photo comes first and on others it is a followup

9) Summer is finally here!!  (ask anyone: they will smile and say, ‘yeah, he does this perspective thing…no, not that perspective thing… this other perspective thing)

10) Secret Rule 1.3  (the first discovered Secret Rule and one of the best!)

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TToT home alone special ….the Wakefield Doctrine (“…and then drove off in an old red Plymouth sedan.”)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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what the hell!  I was all set to write a TToT blog Post and then remembered that we are on Christmas break!  Well, never let it be said that I am not habit ridden… so I will write this Post and send it out there if only  because, as regular participants in ‘the bloghop that Lizzi created’, know we have a Secret Book of Rules!  And what kind of Book of Secret Rules would it be if it didn’t have a rule that provided for just this situation.  ya know?  it’ll be fun… sort of a combination of ‘Risky Business’,  ‘Home Alone’ and ‘Animal House’    Now at this point I should spend some time making a show of secret Rules and writing some ‘rule-like sounding stuff’  but if you’re reading this, you’re already familiar with the Secret Book of Rules ( aka the Book of Secret Rules), so I won’t bother other than to make a reference to the Seven GuardVirgins, in case any of you need a jump start for the Comments that I know you will be leaving here. (To reinforce the ‘home alone’ metaphor, this is the weekend you can say anything and be as un-restrained as you like, it being the, ‘Weekend without Supervision’ (or massive readership…lol).

On to our List!

1) I am grateful for whatever quality it is that made me me stop what I was doing (reading the newspaper) while eating my lunchtoast, I came across a story about the owner of a bar getting stabbed the previous night at the cheery hour of 1:30 am. Now that, unfortunately, is not that uncommon an occurrence and certainly not overly demanding of my attention;  the police of account of the assault was pretty mundane, i.e.  the bar owner insisted that a patron pay up his bar tab, $187.51 I believe was the amount that the paper reported, the customer took offense at the request and gave the bar owner $120.00, (according the police report) and ‘spat in his face’…. (ok, action is picking up, but still pretty run-of-the-mill). The article went on to say that, ‘the outraged bar keep followed the offended customer out the door only to be met by a woman, (‘a companion of the cutover… not a cool Companion like in the TV series ‘Serenity’,  more like a drunk female who may or may not know anyone’s name), brandishing a large knife .  Alright!! now we’re getting somewhere. (btw), who, besides writers, use the word brandish? ( from the free dictionary.com  brandish:.” To wave or flourish (a weapon, for example) menacingly.” )  Any way, this story now has me hooked. Keep in mind that this story is in one of those…’police blotter’ sections of the newspaper, no bylines, maybe a paragraph of ‘a collision at the intersection’  ‘body found in woods’  that sort of thing, nothing warranting even it’s own headline.  But they had me with the next line,  “…the owner came running back into the bar, pursued by a woman waving a large knife”.   Damn!  Action, plot twists, drunken violent women…what more can a person ask for in lunchtime entertainment? Now all this is a fun and exciting little story-ette, I normally would have smiled after finishing my reading and resolved to remember to tell someone later in the day. If not for the very last line, (the 10 words comprising the subtitle of today’s Post),  “…and then drove off in an old red Plymouth sedan”   I sat and stared at that line… so powerful an image.   I am very grateful that I have that twist to my brain that allows me to appreciate it;

2) shit! I’m at 587 words and only on Number Two… but this is Freestyle-homealone bloghop weekend… the inmates run the asylum so, lets say I am grateful for the next 2 weeks off and being left with the keys to the house

3) speaking of movies, specifically movies seen in movie theaters… the last time I actually went to a movie theater was to see the afore-referenced, ‘Risky Business’  at the Campus Cinema in Wakefield (of Wakefield Doctrine fame). That was like 1984 or something… I’m glad I went, I enjoyed the movie and now, a lifetime later, Rebecca is doubling my pleasure by providing me with Item #3  (who can forget the train scene with Tangerine Dream in the background).

4) To say that I’m grateful for being invited to be a host I would be doing this special Post a disservice (SPECIAL WEEKEND POST!!! THE TToT IS ON HIATUS AND clark DOESN”T SEEM TO CARE!!! FILM AT 11).  Sort of like the house party that you let happen when your parents are away, no one is wrecking the house and the girl you were afraid to talk to in school is there and doesn’t seem to want to leave and actually appears to be having fun and none of the real fun kids are even there… that is not the time to talk about how much your parents trust you.

5) speaking of the Wakefield Doctrine  lol  (you didn’t think I was going to not mention everyone’s favorite personality theory…well, my favorite personality theory)… since this is a Secret TT I can do anything I want, doctrinistically-speaking

6) vid chat!!!

7-9) zoe, Michelle, Jak, Kate, Lizzi, Denise, Kristi

10)… Secret Rule 1.3

Alright, gotta Post this thing.  On the vidchat last night, Lizzi mentioned that she too wrote a post this weekend. I suspect that I will not be alone in this weekend posts and so I will include (in block quotes, off course!) links to those who would be home alone this week.

So! which character will your blog post be?   Joel Goodsen  or Lana    John Blutarsky    or  Kevin McAllister

 

(Hey!!!   those pictures below here?? in the block quotes?? the links are in the photos themselves!! really, I know!! how cool is that!  so click them things!!)

 

 

our fearless leaderette

our fearless leaderette

the parents call in, you get everyone to quiet down long enough to get through the conversation…”no! everything is fine, yes I did do my homework, no Rebecca is not…..”

 

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skip….yo

 

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Ten Things Banner Gone Renegade

 

from our scottian friend in the land-of-roads-with-90-degree-turns-only

 

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SbE0opx

she says she be joining us tomorrow!  tune in and find out!

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Friday Post the Wakefield Doctrine (there are three ways to relate to the world…understand them and you will know all about everyone around you)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

R.Crumb

comic panel by R. Crumb

The Wakefield Doctrine is…

I have, of late, renewed my determination to write ‘the Wakefield Doctrine book’ and the quotes that start at ‘the’ and extend to and include ‘book’, should serve as an insight into the success of this endeavor.  The problem is similar to the relation between being a chef and the enjoying of food. Everyone and anyone can find ingredients and flavors, spices and sauces, vegetables and an endless supply of soup stock, and  everyone and anyone can recognize a few (or many) of the possible combinations of these things as being ‘tasty’… the chef is one who has the skill to deliberately combine the many parts and subject them to many conditions to produce a specific food experience.  That’s kind of what I’m running into today. I used the word ‘endeavor’ because I have that word in my vocabulary and I liked the sound of it. I have lots of words in my vocabulary and not only do I enjoy the sound a pretty damn wide variety of words, I have a certain belief in my right to use whatever word I choose, just because it’s fun or exciting or adventuresome.  lots of spices… lots of ingredients    And with this internet, I have the keys to the biggest, most professionally equipped kitchen in the history of the damn world!  …lots of pots, pans, braziers and whisks.   and I have a killer dish in mind.  Like nothing else on the menu.   but …I’m not a chef!

you want to know how appropriate my little metaphor (or allegory or demi-fuckin-glace I’m trying to pass off here) really is?

I just spent an hour trying to complete the sentence: the Wakefield Doctrine is….

and I managed to type a couple of good thoughts on paper…something to the effect of how the Wakefield Doctrine doesn’t regard ‘personality types’  as a collection of observed and/or reported traits and habits and shit, rather the Doctrine maintains, ‘personality type’ is simply the aggregate of all coping mechanisms and social strategies that a person develops and acquires as they grow up and live their life…. and these  mechanisms and strategies will reflect the character of the world as the person experiences it. I know, I know… not bad for a start, but then I try to add the idea of the relation (of the individual) to the three world views and how the Doctrine offers… and we have all three worlds available but one….   You’ve all seen the classic, single pane comic  showing a writer (usually at a typewriter) a waste paper basket over-flowing with crumpled up paper?  lets substitute   ‘keyboards and monitors in a pile in the corner of the room.  that’s my morning today.  discouraging, right?

wrong!

it’s worse!

if it was just the crumpled up sheets of foolscap* then I could just get up and decide to re-learn to play the guitar or maybe take up golf or find another way to spend my ‘free time’.  but it’s the Wakefield Doctrine…. it’s my gift (un-deserved) and it is my master (not deserving)  and the reason I’m going with the dramatic turn here and why I say ‘it’s worse’,  is that I just got up for  a second coffee and as I stood in the kitchen,  staring at the kettle on the stove (come baby!  I like to watch!) the thought jumped into my mind:

“what is the Wakefield Doctrine and it’s three personality types?  why its your evening television news team!  the Anchor person is a roger, the sports person is a scott and the meteorologist is a clark

and I smiled….   (“…honey where did I put that box of new keyboards?”)

 

 

*godamn!  who spilled the oregano?

 

 

 

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