Month: July 2010 | the Wakefield Doctrine Month: July 2010 | the Wakefield Doctrine

A look from you and I would fall from grace.

July 31, 2010 By

Been a big week for the Doctrine, not the least of which was the arrival of photos from Mel, out in “Michigan”, showing him, hat and head(damn) and an identifiable landmark.  V cool landmark!  A lighthouse on one of the Great Lakes!  So the hats continue their march (to mix a metaphor).  We will be looking forward to seeing photos from DownSpring#1 of her, hat and head(damn) from the State of Florida.

And I believe Jason is out there, wearing the hat in the western Territoria, so we will soon have fashion outposts throughout the United Steaks, I would like to believe that we can get to central Europe next.

Central Europe, that’s right you!  E mail us for a hat, yo.  Hey, come on down to the Wakefield Doctrine Fashion Center, our prices are so low we’re givin ’em away.  We must be crazy, mad, in-sane to be sending out these here hats here for your continental/middle European/lowlands wearin’ damn heads!

Now you have our attention, this is what we gonna do, for the first three (3) Readers to email for a hat (for your verdammten Kopf/maldita cabeza/черт голову/putain la tête/prekleto glavo)s.  Seriously, I am serious and not laughing.  I will send you a hat (for your damn head) in the language of your choice!!
So hurry on down to the Wakefield Doctrine hata vanza (not to be confused with hata virus) (two different things) (totally)!!
Be sure to send a correct translation of the words that are on the hat!  If you have a dialect, that google does not know about, you may have to acquire a new language or just send us a large clearly spelled example of the words and we will have our seamstressor/seamstressini do that bad boy.

You’ve been told.  So come on down.

the Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day?  the Doctrine is culture and gender neutral.  That is one of the keystone concepts here.  A clark in Romania will have as little eye contact while speaking to another person as does one in Lagos (“the City of  Connectible Toys”)!  But don’t take our word for it, let’s go and see for our own damn selfs.

 http://www.lagosstate.gov.ng/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSKvgU3TEm4

So, if you Readers don’t come to us in the form of a Comment, then you damn well better know we will come to you on the head of one of your clarks, or scotts.

Except for rogers evolved to the level of being capable of creating a blog, such as the Spatula, then most rogers will be too conservative to be willing to wear such head gear.  But we will welcome all interested Readers.
Don’t forget!  The hat (for your damn head) is almost free.  We do require a photo of the hat against a recognizable/verifiable landmark, supporting damn head is optional of course. (the clarks out there can always get one of their attractive friends to wear the hat for photo purposes but should have them holding a card that clearly states, “the hat (on my damn head) may not be the appropriate hat, please ask me a question about the Doctrine” Thank you.  Hello from…(fill in the blank…)

If we get more requests for this fine Fashion item, we will spend time discussing the topic, “They asked me what the Wakefield Doctrine is…What do I tell them?”

Since the subtitle was taken from this song…(stupidest lyrics in the world, but don’t believe me, go look them up)

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yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today

July 30, 2010 By

Hey, do I a see a Wakefield Doctrine hat?  In an exotic locale?

Yes, yes I do.
We all are happy to have photographic evidence of a Wakefield Doctrine hat worn on a (damn) head in the exotic and much rumoured, “Michigan” that came in the mail from Friend of the Doctrine Mel!  (Let’s, open the envelop and see what he has to say:)

….Another satisfied Doctrine reader wearing a quality hat from the Fashion Center! Mel Thompson, reader from Saint Joseph, Michigan, writes to say “Damn! I feel better and my overall outlook on life has improved since I received the official Wakefield Doctrine hat in my mail box!” Thank you, and keep up the fine work and sales of sensible head wear. Attached is picture of fan and reader wearing hat, smartly placed upon head (as he stands on bluff overlooking famous Saint Joe Lighthouse, the one that keeps barges from ruining picturesque shores that were first set upon by LaSalle {right before he tramped off into the woods with a head cold}).

As Readers know Mel writes the Spatula in the Wilderness, which is a total must read for the readers among us, (the others will be told and/or read to).  The hat marches on! (heads and all).  The Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) now lays claim to having a glorious prescence in 5 States. The significance of which is staying beyond my grasp at the moment.  But, to fully appreciate Mel’s gesture I will take today off and leave the Post with photos of Mel and his State of “Michigan”.

(From wikipedia):
 On October 11, 1898, Augustus Moore Herring took one of his gliders, fitted with a motor, to Silver Beach in St. Joseph. Herring’s machine lifted ever so slightly off the ground and actually flew for seven seconds. Eleven days later, the inventor made another flight of ten seconds. While Herring had a powered heavier-than-air craft, he did not have a way to control it. It was left to the Wright brothers to perfect controlled flight five years later, and give themselves and Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, a place in history that might have ended up belonging to Herring and St. Joseph.

(Must have sucked to be Augustus…)

 …yeah must of…

the Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day?  the hat makes the man…

Augustus: silly hat                   Mel: excellent hat
Augustus: not so happy        Mel: clearly pleased

Augustus: dig and dig through wikipedia (only because of Mel’s photo), finally find him, so what    
Mel: First photo on a Post of the Doctrine, author of funny, widely read blog…

Readers, I leave you to draw your own conclusions…

Mr. B? Some music for our guest?

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Hurry now and don’t be late, ’cause we ain’t got time to chat

July 29, 2010 By

Hello, Readers!  Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)! There is a lot to cover and not a lot of time, so let’s get right to the topic of the day…

Proselytizing is the act of attempting to convert people to another opinion…The word proselytize is derived ultimately from the Greek language… prefix ‘πρός’ (toward) and the verb ‘έρχομαι’ (I come).  …the connotations of proselytizing are often negative and the word is commonly used to describe attempts to force people to convert

Hey!  Wait!  Where are you going? (lol)…no, no don’t be scared…we are not going to be proselytising you…we are going to talk about proselytizing them!  You know, everyone who is not us…
(Am I the only one totally disappointed by the writing exhibited by the script that Morgan Freeman is reading from on that new science show ‘Through the Worm Hole’?  Just the line that he says in the the damn commercial…”I find the questions of these mysteries intriguing and like you I have a lot of questions“…what the hell does that mean? jeez…top rated show top shelf writers and the ‘close’ on the commercial makes no sense at all!  And the rogers, are all pre-teen girl over Morgan Freeman…hey man he is such a heavy weight actor and all how serious and legit is this geek shit now?)

What?  Yeah this does have something to do with the topic, which happens to be proselytizing…or as we say here at the Doctrine, “what? it’s just a fun and unique way to understand everyone around you…you probably wouldn’t be interested”  Now that there are Wakefield Doctrine hats (for the damn heads of Friends of the Doctrine) out in the world the very legitimate question is, “how the hell do I explain what the Wakefield Doctrine is?”  Which leads us to today’s Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day!

The answer to the question of how to explain the Doctrine to a curious stranger is, it all depends are whether you are a clark or a scott or roger.
As we know, to only one of the three will it occur to ask the question, the other two don’t need no help to tell other people about the Doctrine.  But seriously, go out today and find someone to introduce to the Wakefield Doctrine to…preferably a total stranger.  The hat (for your damn head) is a great ice breaker…although eventually the hat may become the haberdashistic equivalent of an armful of Watch Tower magazines. (“Oh, oh they gots one of those Doctrine caps on, damn! Feets don’t fail me now”!)

Since there is not the slightest hint or innuendo of coherency to today’s Post, let’s look at Back to School commercials.

Damn…the Wakefield Doctrine is so mainstream….we just devoted half of the Post to replays of commercials!  Frickin commercials…if I wasn’t so busy writing this, trying to find “an out”, so I can get to work, I would be totally embarrassed.
But am I embarrassed?

No, no I am not.  By the way, one of the goals of this blog is to implant the concept of clarks, scotts and rogers into the culture at large.  The primary ‘success indicator’ is if any of us (Readers and Writers) hear anyone in the real world make reference to the Doctrine or clarks, scotts or rogers.  If you hear a person say, “man, what a roger” or “don’t be such a clark” …let us know here at the Doctrine immediately!  Please!
Add to that, the response as read here in the Doctrine, example:

So is the Wakefield Doctrine a unique, fun and productive way to understand the people in our lives?
Yes, yes it is.
If you hear that odd way of answering a question (“Yes, yes I am” or “No, no it is not” or other variations) let us know for god’s sake let us know.

Now you must excuse me, I need to put on my hat (for my damn head) there are some Jehovah Witnie at the door.  Aren’t they gonna be surprised!

 

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and a man comes on to tell me, how white my shirts can be

July 28, 2010 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)!

If you are new here, the Wakefield Doctrine(or ‘the Doctrine’ as the cognoscenti would have it) is a homegrown “theory” of “personality”.  It is presented in this blog with total sincerity but also not entirely too, too seriously.  The Doctrine proposes to offer a way to look at people, a system of categorization that has for all experience to date,  proven to be as effective a system of personality types as say, Myers Briggs, BrainType (they have their own Institute!), DWSI (or was that INTJ …no, now that I think of it it it definitely was HJLN),  or  “your brain has a color and that will tell you everything”system and we certainly can’t neglect E-Harmony’s ground-breaking work in the field that has culminated in: the 29 Personality Dimensions!  Of course, we here at the Doctrine are never shy about comparing and contrasting the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers with any of the ‘legitimate’ theories of personality.  Particularly when they advertise on TV.  Following is a short list of warnings that E-Harmony provides to their clients and clientesse,s prior to meeting that Certain Someone! (actual advice that is provided on their site!)

(they say) Watch out for someone who:

  • Asks inappropriate questions.          ….scott!
  • Tells stories with inconsistencies, some which may sound grandiose.               ……clark, you think?
  • Gives vague answers to specific questions.               …………oh clark! we are so happy you took a step to get out of the house
  • Urges you to compromise your principles.         ……..scott, scott, scott…we know that’s you
  • Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life.             ……..what a roger!
  • Insists on getting overly close, overly fast.                       er, scott…who doesn’t see this!

    • And there are some people who say the Wakefield Doctrine does not have an immediate value in the real world!  Ladies and Gentlemen I submit the above, proof positive that the Doctrine will be of immediate value.  So when you call the E -Harmony people or the Chemicals.com ( who have provided  the following testimonials):

    “When Tom and I first started correspondence through the Chemistry site, it was immediately obvious that we had a great deal in common.  After speaking on the phone a few times, we arranged a first date.  I was so anxious to meet him that I canceled a date with someone else!  We talked for hours that evening over dinner and took a walk in a river side park.  It was difficult to

     

     

     

    “Our first phone conversation lasted for about five hours and then we had several more after that.  By the time we decided to meet for dinner, I already liked him as a person and knew we would have fun together.  It was just a question of chemistry!  I kept wondering, ‘He is a country boy and I am a city girl, how will this go?’  Our first date was seven hours long, we couldn’t get enough of each other

     

     

    I will ask you, who does not see a roger and a clark in one of these, and a clark and a scott in the other ( two examples above).  We could tell you which of these are which but, here at the Wakefield Doctrine it’s all about the learnosity, learningness or whatever rogerian expression one might choose.  Write a Comment telling us which is which and you might win a hat (for your damn head).
    Where was I?  Oh yeah!  Practical Uses of Personality Theory.
    Damn, if  people are so desperate to understand what another person is like that they are willing to  respond to a commercial that they see on cable tv, right after that really stupid ad for the Amazing Auger, (pitched by a frickin dead guy no less), then we here at the Wakefield Doctrine should step up and try to come to the aid of  humanity.

    So today, tell a friend, tell a relative, tell a stranger, “hey are you lonely and want to find happiness with a total and equally desperate stranger? The Wakefield Doctrine is the answer” 
    (………a salesperson is waiting for your call!)

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    And Summer’s lease hath all too short a date

    July 27, 2010 By

    yeah, date this.

    Quiet at Doctrine central…let’s take advantage of this to review and contrast some of the basics of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. (…don’t worry, we’ll have you out of here in no time…after all it is summer!) (…oh yeah, except for the Reader from South Queensland, New South East Wales, Tambourine, Australia …’ello! cold enuff for ya?)

    the Wakefield Doctrine proposes that all people experience life from one of three characteristic perspectives, and for reasons stated elsewhere, the terms for these perspectives are: clarks, scotts and rogers.  Without getting overly technical (lol), the Doctrine maintains that we are all born with a range of innate qualities that form the ‘lens’ through which we see the world around us.  At an early age these qualities (or ‘predelictions’) gather into one of three distinct clusters, which result in the characteristic way a person perceives the world around them.  We say that it is not the list of behaviors or any in born traits that account for a person’s “personality”, rather we say that the “perceptual bias” that the individual has that is used to interpret the world that is their personality.  
    Pretty simple, isn’t it?

    Ohkay…let’s just put down our pens and pencils and take a deep breathe…

    Much better!

    (God, I love that scene…) Hey! I can’t find a single complimentary sounding definition of pedantry: (…hold on let’s look at synonyms…), laboriousness, (…ok not bad…), sophistry(…no Jimmie not the class before Junior…), meticulousness, thoroughness, (…now we’re getting somewhere!…) unimaginativeness, (…wait a minute, I know there is a good word…nah can’t think of one, shit…)

    It’s looking more and more like a multiple video Post…so what can we learn from Messrs. Moe, Larry and Curley…

    How much of a cultural gap is that?!  Damn…we might as well be watching Punch and frickin Judy!  Of course the Stooges were in fact based in the 1940’s for the most part, so even for those of us who grew up in the ’50s and ’60s there are still a ton of references that are totally disconnected.  But the real question in your mind is:

    “Who was the clark, who was the scott and who was the roger of these Stooges”? (of course, we know here at the Doctrine and really do not want to deprive anyone of the learning experience, so gather your friends around, figure who was which and the answer will be at the total bottom of the page)…(no fair looking!)

    A little music…

    What are you still doing here?  Lesson of the Day?  No, no Lesson of the Day today.  Just go out into the world knowing that everyone you see is either a clark, scott or roger.
    Know that when you have identified them, you can successfully anticipate how they will respond to any situation and, depending on your level of understanding of this here Doctrine here and if you know the individual in question well enough,  you will know what they will frickin say in most situations.

    So get out there, try it out.  Hey, better tell someone else about this Wakefield Doctrine thing…getting tired of waiting to be the next internet sensation….

    Of course: Moe is a roger, Larry is a clark and Curley is the scott.  But you knew that, didn’t you?  (If not, better hold off on going up to people and telling them which of the three types they are.)

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