Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Let’s get all holiday-reminiscent on this, the most loud of holidays. Remember the first principle of the Talmud of scotts*: “There ain’t no such thing as too much… well, pretty much anything… but especially sound!!”
From July 3rd 2012:
a chart providing the average shelf-life of ideas for Posts* …..the Wakefield Doctrine ( happy scottian Holiday!)
Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the personality theory that you can learn, understand and use today!! )
childhood memories involving learning to become a better person: …………………………… 6 hours
childhood memories involving learning bad habits and behavior: …………………………… 3 days
childhood memories involving doing something publicly embarrassing to adults: …………. 2 years
adolescent fantasies that result in being scarred for life:
(physically scarred): 3 years (emotionally scarred): 5 years
workplace situations that result in receiving a raise: ………………………………………………… 6 hours
workplace situations that result in being fired: ……………………………………………………….. 3 months
workplace situations that result in being arrested: ……………………………………………………. 4 years
relationship maturity demonstrated in daily life: …………………………………………………….. 1.4 hours
relationship immaturity demonstrated in public: ……………………………………………………… 4 days
a Post trying to illustrate the ephemeral nature of creative ideas: ………………………………….. 75 minutesQuick reminder about the Holiday tomorrow: If you do not know that July 4th is one of the most scottian of holidays, then you need to write in one of the Comment boxes below 50 times
“scotts love loud noises, it lets them believe they can have an effect on the world“.
Seriously, picture the coming Holiday:
- takes place at the height of the Summer season
- eating and drinking to excess is encouraged
- minimal clothing allowed in virtually all public places (including churches and hospitals)
- outdoor sports activities including chasing frisbees, being dragged behind a boat and the use of explosive devices (such explosives, that were it December instead of July, a visit from Homeland Security would be the immediate result)
- …minimal clothing
So for you non-scotts reading this, three July 4th Survival Tips:
- stay indoors
- keep the lights off and the glow of the TV shielded from windows and doors
- turn up the air conditioning and ….wear extra clothes
We hope that helps.
* like the Tao of Pooh? yeah, sure, exactly like that