Month: January 2017 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3 Month: January 2017 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3

Friday Quickie -the Wakefield Doctrine- “as soon as our scottian readers stop laughing, we will begin”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

CSR

You wanna know one of the most fun things about the Wakefield Doctrine? A post like this. Which is being written because I was sitting around this morning, after shoveling the driveway and talking to Phyllis about something that I had to do at work. I made the statement ‘clarks live with fear, in a reality characterized by fear’. ok, fair enough (and accurate, as well). Then Phyllis, who is a roger with a significant secondary clarklike aspect and is very well-versed in the Doctrine, said, “and rogers worry.”

We both laughed that special laughter that celebrates co-discovery of something new and good, not funny laughing but ‘yeah! you see it too?’

…and I said, “scotts live in panic

And the Doctrine insight was complete, ‘clarks exist in fear, rogers worry and scotts live in panic.’

Ain’t it cool?

(New Readers: word about the insights afforded by the Doctrine. The core element to the Wakefield Doctrine being an effective tool is that it’s all about perspective. We maintain that perspective is, for all intents and purposes, reality. Further, we say, if you can accept that and then imagine the world as the other person is experiencing it. then you have one more perspective on life and the world than when you started. And more perspective is better than less. The rest of the Doctrine is the real fun. Think of it as describing the world to another person by singing metaphors. the words are not important, the literal definition totally does not matter, just the fact that it feels right when you say it. And…and!, the other person can pick up the ‘tune’ and follow along, or as happened with Phyllis this morning, as has happened in the past with Friends of the Doctrine, she picked up the melody and found the next phrase.)

Try it.

Share

Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine-

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

20170104_163801

Here we are already, Wednesday warm-up for Thursday’s Six Sentence Story. Our host, zoe, has for reasons that are probably best left un-expressed, has given us the word ‘CHEESY’

Our mission is to make-up, construct, devise or otherwise throw together a story comprised of exactly six sentences. Easy, right? sure…

The beautiful young girl stopped scrubbing the sink and looked into the mirror, the large common room behind her so perfectly reflected in the sparkling glass that she could read the names on the back of the chairs arranged around a long wooden dinner table, Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful, on the opposite side, four chairs faced away, un-readable and a single chair at the head of the table, ‘nearest the kitchen so I don’t have so far to walk,’ the girl laughed to the dark-haired beauty in the mirror. She stepped back and surveyed the now spotless bathroom with it’s seven little sinks along a vanity that rose only to her mid-thigh; seeing one tiny dried explanation point of shaving cream, she looked down at the expanse of her billowing dress, grabbed a triangle of relatively clean fabric and rubbed the glass until it was a spotless as…. “as spotless as newly fallen snow” and the empty little house rang with girlish laughter.

Hearing the whisper of the grandfather clock, the grey and ancient-feathered owl bound to it’s perch by a spell, announcing the time on the half hour and the hour, it’s only pleasure was the exception it was allowed, (by a somewhat passion-impaired old wizard who was completely out of his league when negotiating the deal for the timepiece with a certain young girl who missed the finer things in life she’d enjoyed growing up in a castle), to offer commentary on the ordinal hours, the current announcement being,”Five o’clock and Seven Dwarfs will be home soon and they’re bringing an Eighth, predictably they neglected to tell anyone his name… Whoooo are the dumbest workers in the forest?”

Running into her bedroom, the girl threw off her cleaning product stained dress, opened  the closet door and stared at the rows of, blue bodiced, puffy red and blue striped sleeves, billowing yellow skirt with a high white collar dresses, she stopped riffling through the clothes as she suddenly remembered that she’d that she’d forgotten to lock (and bolt and wedge-shut) her door.

“I’m new here blue eyes and I gotta tell you, them other dwarfs need to get their eyes examined, hey when they call us little people you better believe that the only thing they’re talking about is our height, you wanna know my name, beautiful?”

Snow White, still in her petticoats and bloomers, turned and with a smile that an impartial observer would not be blamed for saying had a clear resemblance to a certain head of the local royal family, looked down with a smile and said, “You must be Cheesy”

 

Share

Tuesday Post -the Wakefield Doctrine- “because Tuesday is the most innocuous day of the week’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

imagesCAC4GHHV

Hey! you want to know what’s wrong with being a clark? Well, not so much a description of the negative aspects of the experience of living in the personal reality of the Outsider, as I mean, the things that clarks think of doing that don’t really help.

We expect to learn to be happy, (with our lives/with Life/for no other reason than it’s better than being un-happy). And, by ‘learn’, I mean discover, uncover or recover facts and information, technique and procedure that we count on resulting in our feeling the way that real people appear to feel… sometimes. That second verb in the previous sentence, that’s what prompted this post. Actually what really prompted this post was what I was doing before being prompted.

Here on a faux holiday, (Happy New Year .1!!!!) (don’t even ask me about the short time I spent in front of the TV observing the Rose Bowl parade)… Phyllis is a roger, so it’s understandable that she would watch the parade. I am, of course, a clark and so I wouldn’t watch a parade if eternal salvation and a publishing deal for Almira hung in the balance. I would, as implied, observe a parade. That’s kinda what clarks do, observe and watch and such. You know, trying to discover shit. Anyway, I was observing the parade and, well, words fail me. Sure, there were floats from various civic groups and even a couple of movie franchises, but mostly the parade appeared to consist of 3D commercials for products and services. ‘Farmers whoever Insurance’ had a float, Air China had a float and the ‘announcers’ totally waxed poetic about how much the fine folks at Farmers really cared about us, going so far as telling a story about some family dog that almost got killed by (accidentally) starting a fire that burned his family’s house to the ground, while all the his humans were off in Florida on vacation… “But!” our announcer proclaimed, “they still were covered! That’s how much Farmers cares.” No, seriously, that is what they said on TV, only with professionally replicated emotion. Fine, cheesy, but fine.

But then, out of nowhere, (it might have been following the Petaluma Marching Band ‘with members from 6 countries!’), someone said, “..and coming down the boulevard next, Lisa, is a beautiful float sponsored by the Lutheran Church and it’s in honor of Martin Luther and the Reformation.”

No. Way. (to her credit Phyllis was laughing too hard to get all of the religious history that had to have been crammed on the teleprompter for Lisa Gibbons and some guy with sincere eyes and a semi-mature crop of hair plugs, to read. But it happened and it still was not the weird part. The weird part was the next float. It was sponsored by Western Asset Management Corporation. The crowds waved back at the people riding the float. Apparently the term ‘asset management’, as applied to a large corporation is not instantly recognizable as identifying a company that takes foreclosed properties and arranges to put the now empty homes on the open market.

I stared at the TV.

But that’s not what prompted this post.

What prompted this post was that I spent time searching through 1600 or so Doctrine Posts looking for one to reprint. I actually spent time going through the archives reading the January 3rd posts for each of the previous years, all in the hopes of finding something that would pass as a readable post tomorrow January 3rd …2017

what a fricken clark I am!

Share