Month: February 2015 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3 Month: February 2015 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3

Thursday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘without question, the best of days to have hot lunch at school’

February 12, 2015 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

school-cafeteria-1950s

(Given our demographic at the present time, this Post may have more value as an insight into the lives of the child sent off to school today than it does to Readers who might recognize their own worldviews…whatever)

… gotta tell you guys!  You know how, when I’m drawing a blank for ideas to build a Post on, I go surfing for images and such? (no, I’m sure I’ve old you about my approach to writing blog Posts before …. find an image, hear a song being played behind a commercial on TV, read the labels on the food products in the cabinets… the normal things people do to come up with ideas for Posts! Well, I do! Anyway, today I was feeling the need to write a Post, but had nothing. Well, actually I have a nearly complete Post that I wrote last night, the only problem is that last night was Wednesday night and not Thursday night as I thought… so that Post will have to wait for the week to catch up with it.)

So this morning, once I was able to accept that it was Thursday and not Friday, which is a lot like the moment that we realize that the blind date our friend set up was with a roger and not the scott we were hoping for…. I got to thinking back to high school days. Naturally I started looking for a memorytrail* to Thursdays, which lead to hamburger fricassee (the best of school hot lunches)… the next step was to search for images and who do I find in the image results page but our friends  Kristi (Finding Ninee) and Stephanie (Mommy, for real). No!  really!  don’t believe me?  here:

school lunch + hamburger fricassee

… no! I’m sure neither of them will mind… (then there’s that really cool one of a semi-high school Kristi… and Stephanie is looking quite proper… you have to scroll down about ‘three rolls’ to where you see a hamburger and a photo of 4 past Presidents… you’ll spot Stephanie first)

…and how cool it that?  (follow the links on their images… very worthwhile reading)

…so, time’s up. Seeing how I always (try to) convey something of an insight into the Wakefield Doctrine with every post, allow me to suggest that,  if you have small children (or a clarklike spouse) and they are exhibiting what appears to be ‘fear’, of doing something or going somewhere,  at basis of most clark’s fear is the dread of ‘exposure’,  …of becoming (by virtue of not doing something correctly, or at very least, as well as everyone else), found out. That is what makes a clark, (young or old, male or female, accomplished or hiding), say that they don’t want to do something ( something that you very well know that they would want to do).  Help them by identifying with that sense of ‘no pants in front of the audience’… but, for godsakes, don’t invoke the, ‘well everyone feels like that‘! Unless you’re a clark yourself, you will not appreciate the degree of fundamental aversion to being held up before everyone as being… different and flawed.  There are things that you can do (and, I suspect most of you who are identifying with this already do)… is to let them, (the clark in question), sneak up on expressing their concerns and providing the support (which is to say, reduce the pressure to perform and the time for them to come up with a strategy that they can get themselves through the first time…after they do, they will be fine.)  your clark will thank you at some point.

 

* hats off to Lizzi, the Master of…. er,  the Mistress of cool neologism

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Tun -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘stress is actually fear, …dressed up like a really hot woman (or) man*’

February 10, 2015 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

kalif2

ok  quick and short little Post.  the asterix in the subtitle? (ahem)

‘the Wakefield Doctrine is both gender and culture neutral. the personality types are simply the best effort on the part of (an) individual to contend with a personal reality’ that is (best) characterized as:

  1. the worldview of ‘the Outsider’ (clarks): the predominate feature of this individual’s reality is the, ‘apart from’ that imbues the life of the clark. often confused (willfully or not) with being different, odd, introverted, shy, anti-social or  funny-like-that, apartness is them, not us. (of the three personality types), only clarks know that ‘they are here and the world is out there’.  it is a common misperception (when encountering a clark) to mistake being (their) ‘apart from’ as  ‘being different, shy, antisocial, artistic, eccentric, just-don’t-want-to-be-like-everyone-else’
  2. the world of the ‘the Predator’ (scotts) immediately identifiable by their presence, scotts have the quality of certainty and decisiveness that make them most likely picked as the leader. they have simply learned the advantage of impatience…. the most common mistake people make about scotts is that ‘they should slow down just a little and maybe people will understand them and they won’t keep getting into trouble with (the principle, the shift manager, the cops, the parish priest or their best friend’s mother)’
  3. the life of ‘the Herd Member’ (rogers) they’re everywhere, the majority of (any given) population.  the most common error people make about rogers is that they are ‘taking things personally, when they are taking things personally’… they are, (one of the most tried and true tests to determine a rogerian personality type is to count the personal pronouns in their speech,) but that’s not the point! rogers,live in an chronological world, where B always follows A … unless there was a time when A followed B and then, depending on the current situation, that may be the way it’s always been.

… so, the point of our bullet-pointed insight: as you go through your day today, observe the other person, infer ‘how they are relating themselves to the world around them’, you will then know their predominant worldview and will be in a position to (be able) to see the world as the other person is experiencing it.

Why? Why go through all this? Because it is (for many of us) better to know than to not know, because everyone’s life has people in it…important people/loved one/barely-tolerated-co-workers/necessary people/obligatory people… they (or rather our interaction with them) is what makes up our day. Now if you are a person who always: gets along with everyone/never has a problem dealing with people/likes and respects everyone… then you can skip this section and go down and listen to our bonus music video …there you go, just click on the red arrow (from an album that disappeared from the shelves before you were born)

… everyone/anyone else?  back to the title. stress:  it happens, it is the fear that we will not meet the demands of the world around us, (as best we understand it… the world and the demands!) and, yet, when you look closer at this fear, it reflects a desire, a hope, a need within to be in harmony with our surroundings… not to submit to a greater force,  as much as to find the common measure in those we interact with…

damn! look at the time!! got to go find the common measure out there

 

(yeah, a bit of a throwback to early blog days, I really enjoyed this song, so here ya go)

 

 

 

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Mu -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘the Weekend in (re)-View: there were encouraged smiles in Outerville’

February 9, 2015 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

BeFunky_photo-3.jpg

…I thought I had the ‘hook’ for today’s Post earlier this morning, around 6:10am. My computer froze up and the Error Message appeared:

Hit continue to ‘Force Quit’ the Application

damn!  doesn’t that describe what happens to clarks so often? (Especially on Mondays because we’ve just had two days during which time we could pick the people we were with), we learn and remember that part of what the Wakefield Doctrine offers is, as they so cleverly put it, ‘to self-improve oneself’. But this weekend was encouraging. A good TToT and a good Call-in discussion. So today, I will go out into the world (see, I told you I was a clark!) and know that there are other clarks struggling with the semi-self-imposed status of Outsider and, simply by virtue of this (identification with other clarks), I will more frequently remember to not forget that I have a choice in how I think and act and feel.

Had a great Saturday Night Call-in this weekend. Cynthia, Denise and the Progenitor roger! Topic: how do clarks best deal with the roger in the workplace (or to be a bit more accurate: how to manage a rogerian-dominated workplace). Very fun and informative and entertaining and everything you could want from a phone conversation.

So what do we clarks know now that we did not know, say, 3 or 4 years ago? For starters, that there is a direct (but not directly appreciable) benefit from associating with clarks in a context that encourages identification (with/for the other clarks). We also better understand our selfs and while this is not, in and of itself, a benefit, it is the sharing of this (increased) self-understanding that makes the identificationing with other clarks so effective.

But enough about clarks. how about scotts and rogers? What are they getting out of this thing that they could not get elsewhere? Again, for starters:

  • an increased sense of awareness of that which bothers scotts (on a pre-conscious level), with a better acceptance that it is not a flaw (this, by virtue of the scott’s heightened clarklike aspect)
  • (for the rogers) a sense of an increased-enthusiasm-for-nothing-that-is-identifiable, yet not perceived as threatening

 

 

 

Feet notes:

so: Denise and Cyn-thee-uh  and the Progenitor roger were all on the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call-in this Saturday past. It was a splendid time, the high points, syllabus-istically speaking the insight nodes were as follows:

topic: how do clarks manage (themselves or others) in the workplace  with an emphasis on the difficulties of dealing with rogerian co-workers

agreed: the negative, ‘lashing out’ of a roger is worse than being nipped by a scott or ignored by a clark

agreed: that the reason for this ‘over-reaction’ by the clark is their emotional investment (conscious or otherwise)

agree: the tendency is for clarks to take (false) responsibility for the actions, reactions and consequences involving others

agree: rogers (and scotts) think they know what it is it fear (the negative) reactions of others, but they are wrong

agree: rogers do not accept admission of ineptitude, no member of the Herd would ever consider this

 

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TToT -the Wakefield Doctrine- (why, yes… I do have a problem with doing things like everyone else…)

February 8, 2015 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

award-sisterhood

…it started innocently enough. I read Sarah’s TToT Post yesterday, which in part said:

But I’m also thankful for Lisa’s gift (sort of) of this Bloggy Sisterhood Award, and I’m gonna finish up this TToT with my answers. Thank you, Lisa! It always feels good to be liked!

Since I’m incorporating these questions into my TToT (and Lizzi and Lisa have taken most of the bloggers in our circle already), I’ll just award my questions (following) to the third, sixth, tenth, eleventh, fifteenth, and seventeenth people to link up this weekend.

(“3,4, carry the…. oh oh“)

to answer:

1. What do you think you could eat for the longest number of days without getting sick of it?
The honest answer is: years  no, seriously. there have been times in my life, especially before I met Phyllis (yeah…big surprise that) when I would eat the same food… there were the hot dogs and Sprite years… then there was the time that noodles and butter met my gustatory needs.
2. How often do you shower and wash your hair?
Everyday.
3. What actor or actress would you like to play you in a movie about your life?
Bill Nye  or Umma Thurman
4. Name something you wish you had never thrown away. Explain.
My youth
5. Are you a good dancer? What makes you good (or bad)?
No.  Short answer: because I’m a (male) clark  Less short answer: because I am afraid of being laughed at by people who, by all measure (social, psychological, philological and philosophical ) are total stranger who I might never ever be in the same room again with..
6. What fictional character would you like to have dinner with tonight? Why?
don Juan  (no! not that don Juan!! don Juan Mateus!)
7. What do you plan to purchase next? Why?
work stuff  (for work)
8. Look up at this very moment. What do you see?
the view out the window in my Office (at work)…
9. Tell about a favorite childhood toy.
a teddy bear (no name)..broken arm…remnants of a sound function…. oh and the ‘sand machine’ in the detached garage in our house in the Vineyard
10. What is something you do every single day without fail?
look to find the path

 

 

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TToT -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘#hashtag… that’s how you use it, correct? …didn’t think so’

February 7, 2015 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(your weekly cow)

'Night Cows'

‘Night Cows’ (apologies to Edward Hopper…or his estate…or fans or whatever)

 

1)  With only a couple of properly placed participles, the statement: ‘appreciating a point in my future allows me to experience today, as does a point in my past, relative to today, can evoke a wistful sense of missed opportunity’

3) You know, when Item 1 popped into my head, I really liked it and raced to a computer, in order to write it down, lest I forget. Coming back to it this morning,  (I wrote it down on, Wednesday…Thursday), I was less enthused. The problem is bifold. I enjoy this writing challenge each weekend (… yes, you’re right,  ‘the-person-who-caught-the-implication-in-that-choice-of-words’ …probably zoe and lizzi, I’ll bet Christine and Dyanne did as well, but they’re too fond of the Doctrine to say anything that might sound cruel…. pretty sure Kristi noticed, but too kind to call me on that) and I get something from the forced ‘reflectionary insight’** that comes from having to write about myself, (as opposed to the Wakefield Doctrine). But here I am, in no small part, because I am the sole co-hostinimus, and it’s the correct thing to do.

4) So lets go with: I’m grateful that I am not (yet) sick with the flu as is Phyllis, who has the flu this week. I did get to have the fun, (this is really a clarklike thing), of being able to suggest something that would help her feel less bad. Phyllis somehow was not aware of the amazing properties of ginger ale!  no, seriously! After my holding forth on the palliative qualities of Canada Dry, she relented so I went to the Stop n Shop at some early morning hour and brought some home. A measure of her inexperience with this particular home remedy,  she tried to drink it at room temperature!!   “non! non! non!!! on ne boit tout simplement pas ce à quoi que ce soit plus de 17 degrés centigrades … !!”  Well, I’m pleased to report that it helped.

5) hey! I got one  and actual Item of gratitude!  In the course of work this week, access was needed to a house, the client was not local and their local resources were not available until too late, so I  got a shovel and dug out the porch (and part of the driveway) myself. (Given the demographic of my industry), it should come as no surprise that the mere suggestion that I was considering doing this,  was met with, ‘wait, your absentee client will make the arrangements eventually. you can’t do that!‘  (of course that last part?… like that convinced me to change my plan  lol ). In any event, I shoveled. Afterwards someone said, ‘are you out of your mind? it’s 17 degrees‘ and I remembered the, (fortunately few), times that I’ve been in the hospital and replied, ‘well, I know for a fact that there’ve been times in my life when I would have given anything to be out there in the snow, (which I hate), shoveling (which I love) instead of where I was, ya know?’  I think they understood.  (I reminded myself immediately to leave the metaphysics out of the workplace, luckily the person I was speaking to was a clark… in fact, rather than let the silence that followed my statement go on too long, I challenged him to admit to knowing what I meant.  (Still need to leave the weird(er) stuff at home or at the Doctrine or here…)

6)  the above, weird as it may sound, has me sneaking up on feeling grateful… that I can remember to think, to feel a certain way, about how I’m getting through a given day.  Thats sorta like gratitude, right?

7) hat!! Wakefield Doctrine hats (“…for your damn head“)…. we have a hat, (one of the last remaining in my current supply), going out to a Reader of the Wakefield Doctrine!!  very fun!  yes, I am totally going to try and make a mystery of it…

8)  hypo-grateful for (allowing myself) to not keep up with technology. The demands of my work are becoming such, that I have had to go and access and (try) to learn to use a lot of the multi-platform…. stuff.  There are incredible tools to coordinate what I do and avoid duplication of effort and, most of all, avoid the dreaded… ‘forgetting the one thing that totally had to be done today’.

9) I am grateful to have the opportunity to write today’s Post and all…

10) 1.3 (you knew I was going for that, didn’t you!)

2) … ok  with that for a start, my better side* is yelling, ‘this time you’ve gone too far!! there’s weird and there’s wtf?!’  

* better side?  (oh that better side… I started out thinking that I would include either: a) a Poll or 2) a video or B) a mixed up List order. Fortunately for you, I am at the bottom of the list… (to enhance your feeling of gratitude lets just say that I was thinking…’hey suppose I figure out this twitter thing that everyone thinks is so good and finish the post by twitter!’  not this week, at any rate.

** faux rogerian expression

 

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