Month: November 2014 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3 Month: November 2014 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3

Too(s)day the Wakefield Doctrine ( “I think Tuesday is the cutest (of the) Workdays! …like a 2nd date, so full of promise, yet such a potential source of suffering!”)

November 11, 2014 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

images-37

so, yesterday we wrote a Post that was built on the following promise:

So here’s what we’ll do: I’ll write a couple of hundred words about the value and use of the Wakefield Doctrine on a typical Monday morning. I’ll stop writing, take a quick shower, get dressed and start my work day2. After an hour or so of work, I’ll come back here and ‘re-write’ this post. Let’s see if this ‘oh-my-god-can’t-you-see-how-incredibly-useful-and-fun’ theory of personality accounts for any change in my day.3

Fine. I’ll tell you about my day and the (principles) of the Wakefield Doctrine. I won’t attempt to re-write yesterday’s Post, for the obvious reasons. (Actually all I want to do is try and come up with something clever (and a touch risqué ) about character of Tuesday). But promises are promises (unless they are threats, and then you need to be more careful of clarks than scotts or rogers by a long shot!)

In the middle of the day yesterday, I had occasion to interact with people I had never met.*
I walk up to the front door, (noting that a person was coming towards the house from across the yard), and knocked on the door. a scott answered. I knew she was a scott from: a) her eyes** and 2) she smiled and stepped forward at the moment of introduction,  ‘Hello, I’m clark from….’  ( I laughed to myself and thought, ‘god! I loves this Doctrine’ …and increased the volume of my voice, shortened my sentences and cranked-up my (level) of eye contact.) The meeting went well.
The person I noticed walking across the lawn towards us? (who I ignored because I needed to establish a relationship with the dominant personality)  another scott! (he was there to help with the move…) he had no legitimate role in the interaction,  but he kept coming back into the room where I was talking to the scottian woman.  lol ( you ever watch a bunch of puppies playing as a group? one is always trying to establish ranking***  that’s what this guy was doing. He walked in to the house, didn’t introduce himself by name, (because he was a member of her pack and therefore not alpha), but nevertheless was trying to see if he could establish dominant ranking on me  (it would have enhanced his relationship with her, of course).  I mean you could see the energy as he walked, pretended to be a part of the conversation, walk away and then come back in…. I did not allow myself to be distracted… it was fun to watch.

Anyway…. that was my Day-with-the Doctrine.

Tuesdays… your favorite Day of the Workweek?

 

* it was a meeting with transitioning tenants, I was there to make sure everything was being left as it should (by the parties leaving), not necessarily an adversarial interaction, but the potential was there, as I was representing the interests of the owner of the property and the people I was dealing with were representing their own…

** new Readers?  not such an impressive deduction… a primary identifier of the scottian personality type is in the eyes, ‘the gaze’ to be more succinct  (read more on the Page on scotts… suffice to say, ‘a scott is never not paying attention to what’s going on around them’)

*** another primary characteristic behavior of people who live in the world of the Predator… the drive to ranking, trying for dominance, but not attaching importance to being the alpha, as much as it is necessary to know where one stands… the pack social order

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Monday Morning the Wakefield Doctrine (“hey! it’s an experiment…and just like in those ‘B’ movies, I’m experimenting on myself”)

November 10, 2014 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

we all remember this from our undergrad 'Abnormal Psych' class, right?

we all remember this from our undergrad ‘Abnormal Psych’ class, right?

Lets try a little experiment this morning. Two things first:

  1. It’s been established (or, at very least, admitted to) here that, once I’ve engaged in the normal everyday demands of work and family and such, the supply of post-worthy words dries up faster than a 67 year old’s honeymoon
  2. the Wakefield Doctrine is about learning about myself (as much as it is about seeing into the thoughts of you and the other people in my world1)

So here’s what we’ll do: I’ll write a couple of hundred words about the value and use of the Wakefield Doctrine on a typical Monday morning. I’ll stop writing, take a quick shower, get dressed and start my work day2. After an hour or so of work, I’ll come back here and ‘re-write’ this post. Let’s see if this ‘oh-my-god-can’t-you-see-how-incredibly-useful-and-fun’ theory of personality accounts for any change in my day.3

(Here we go)

the Wakefield Doctrine is a perspective on the nature of the world (and the people and things and events that make it up). Properly applied, the Wakefield Doctrine allows me to know more about ‘the other person’, than I have any right to know.  With the Wakefield Doctrine, I am way, way less likely to find myself saying, “Now why in the world would they say/do such a thing?! I really thought I knew them better than that!”
As to how I go about ‘knowing more about you than you know about yourself’? All I need do is observe and (correctly) infer how you are relating yourself to the world around you. Are you acting like an Outsider? Do you sound like you are experiencing the situation as would a Predator or are you simply comfortable with the situation, as comfortable as a Member of the Herd? Once I know that (about) you, I can anticipate not only how you will react to a situation or interaction, I can get a glimpse of the world as you are experiencing it. This last is the most challenging aspect of the Wakefield Doctrine. Knowing that the other person (may) be perceiving the world differently than I am, even though we are both in the same room, hell! there’s no one here in the break room except you and me and all we’re doing is talking about the job we both have (the same job) and yet….somehow, you are reacting to it in a way that is totally at odds with the way that I would!  that is the power of the Wakefield Doctrine

…oh yeah, the other part? If I want to… I can see parts of myself in a new light. This is not always such fun, but I can if I choose. The thing that this Wakefield Doctrine says to us is, ‘hey, you’re experiencing the world as (a clark or a scott or a roger)…. you have the right and the capability to see the world, experience the world as do ‘the other two personality types’…so don’t worry about:

  • not understanding (hey clark!! 2/3s of life is not about understanding or knowing or figuring out shit!  but don’t let your brain trick you… you got this!)
  • not being ready (scott! yo… sure you’re always quick ….you’re even as smart as all them, don’t give it a second thought, what they seem to think they know that you don’t know?  doesn’t matter…’cause you do!
  • nope, they’re not talking about you, roger… and even if there are moments when you think you can’t continue your efforts, that everyone has turned away, it’s not true.  don’t give it a second thought

…alright. that’s what I have while I am still in ‘simple clark‘ mode.

stop back later this morning and lets see how it looks after I’ve had to engage in the ‘real’ world for a couple of fun-filled hours!

 

 

1) ok, it’s still about that, but I’m trying to establish my premise, so cut me some slack, ok?

2) meaning, I’ll check my email, do a couple of things, go to the office, check a couple of things and then come back to this Post…oh, probably around 9:55 am

3)  no, I do believe you are that trusting!  lol…. as a matter of fact, no I don’t think of what I’m writing as the product of a writer, telling whatever story I choose… I actually think of this as a record of my experiences, somehow converted to public display mode

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TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (no, zoe, I swear I didn’t go anywhere near your post before I wrote this,…am not a copycat) lol

November 8, 2014 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

It’s not that I have to get myself out of negative and/or ‘bad’ moods on some mornings…it’s more a matter of,  (an illustration that should resonate with the rogers: it’s 5:30 pm on Thursday of Thanksgiving. Dinner was a success and your guests are watching  TV in the living room and you’ve just finished putting away the dishes. You sit for a minute (you’ve been up since 5:30am), and you nod off, just for a second and, all of a sudden, someone walks in and says, ‘We’re all going for a walk, come on it’ll be fun!’  lol that is what this morning was like, trying to write this week’s TToT). It’s a matter of working out the emotional stiffness (from habitual worry) and trying to stretch all the muscles (I mean, I am capable of the gratitude thing that this bloghop emphasizes). It’s just that some mornings… it seems to take a little longer on some mornings to get my mind right for this exercise. (I know that this TToT is a good thing, and it’s benefits are what keep me coming back…week after week…after…)

Hey!!  Lets go ice skating!

1) is being able to start one more TToT Post.  (no!  hold that ‘awww’  you haven’t seen what I will be trying to pass off as a grat list!)

2) Christine and Dyanne  as scotts, they’re not only fun to know, but following their blogs makes me smile (and/or laugh), at times, as they illustrate the scottian worldview

3) @

4) ok here’s where I ‘started’ this Post:

Wordless Grat List:

20141028_091546_resized 20141028_091627_resized 20141026_084403_resized 20141007_174625_resized_1 20141006_125653_resized_1 20140907_161003_resized*

 

5) yeah, I know… a) that doesn’t make any sense at all! (and the least I could do would be to present these photos with captions or titles, like zoe and Kristi do so well with their photo Posts… but, hey, if I took the Doctrine name off this Post, mixed it up with a bunch of others and said, “find the Doctrine post and win the prize’ who doesn’t feel totally confident? 2) I didn’t invoke the BoSR (aka SBoR) to count each photo as an item! what gives?!!

6) That’s a pretty low-keyly archaic expression!  ‘…what gives?’ I better go look it up.

7) (yeah, I know, now I’m starting to drift into cheating at the itemization….)  but that is also a very useful insight into the worldview of a clark!  If any of you ‘non-clarks’ are trying to see how the Wakefield Doctrine can be helpful in better understanding a clark in your life, know this: clarks (believe that they) keep track of everything in their world. and when it looks like a clark is trying to take advantage of a situation (“…dear, I thought we discussed this already, you said that would do (fill in blank), like you promised!”)  well, if your clark insists that they are holding up their half of whatever bargain you are in, there’s a very good chance that they are factoring in a variable that you are not aware of… (the clark in this situation might be thinking,  ‘I know I said I would study 1 hour for the 1 hour of TV, but the Reading I did last week, that she didn’t count… that gives us a credit against the study time!’)

8) there was another…. oh yeah!  let do another mystery Item…. who to go to, who to go to….  here

9) (you ever plan on exercising and, knowing that you have to stretch and limber up first, find that you have spent all your time getting ready and left no time for the actual activity?

10… hit the showers, yo

 

* hey Dyanne…Christine  don’t say it!**

Ten Things of Thankful

 

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** yeah,  at least I have Phyllis in one photo

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‘on self-improvement and falling in love’ the Wakefield Doctrine ‘sometimes change is not enough’

November 6, 2014 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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Was talking to Denise on the phone last night, and the topic of change and self-improvement become the focus of our discussion. What has stuck with me (through the night, into this morning) is: in order  to successfully change, requires that we ‘fall in love’ with (the proposed) new way to: view earning a living/approach helping the children/trying to get along at work/give our spouse more room for their own interests/stop worrying about things that cannot be controlled.

We’ve all had the experience of wanting to change something about ourselves, our lives, how we do things.* We know for a fact that change would be beneficial, we even know how we should act and sometimes… hell, if you’re reading this, often we start acting differently/stop ourselves from indulging in (the bad habit, self-defeating strategy), only to find ourselves reverting back, to the old way. And…and! to make matters worse, this reverting to the old way happens even after we’ve experienced  success. We actually lose the weight, stop mumbling, resist the urge to hide and yet… before we notice it, we’re acting like always. Back to the same old pattern.  What the hell??!

To know that we should improve ourselves is rarely ever enough to produce permanent change. We need not only find and know and understand the ‘better way to….’  but we need to ‘fall in love’ with this new thing. The ‘new way’ of acting, of living, must produce its own benefit, its own reward, it can’t be simply ‘a relief from a negative’. Our way of acting must be a source of energy in our day.

‘to fall in love‘ with the your ‘self-improvement’ implies that you’ve found a way to have a relationship with this new way (this alternate way of living). It cannot simply be acting a certain way because you hate the old way. Like ‘being in love’, you give without requiring a return, and, as a result (let’s just leave the explanation of why this is the way it is, as one of Life’s mysteries), you get back more than you give.

Permit me to provide a certain personal element. Writing this blog is an example of what I mean. sort of. I did not set out to ‘write a blog’… I set out to write about/present/explain the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers (aka the Wakefield Doctrine)… as a result, there has never been a day when I have not wanted to write a blog Post. And, (very odd, if you knew me personally), it did not/does not matter if I have 3 visits or 7,390 visits to this blog. The ‘change/self-improved’ activity/habit/way-of-dealing-with-life  is it’s own reward.

ya know?

(running out of time…will return later in the day).

 

 

 

 

* New Readers? not to be a buzz kill, (well, actually we do not feel bad about being a buzz kill, at least in this regard), but though the Wakefield Doctrine is awfully powerful when we are trying to change something about ourselves, if you’re thinking  ‘finally something that will work on him/her/the kids/the boss/the-girl-of-my-dreams/the-man-who-would-make-life-worthwhile/ the family dog’s annoying habit of barking at 3:30 am’   sorry.  ‘the Wakefield Doctrine is for you, not them’  Just don’t work that way.

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… the Wakefield Doctrine (a Monday…Tuesday morning Afternoon! exercise)

November 4, 2014 By

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

dreamers1

How strange is this blogsphere? Shy people shout and bullies weep, rock-hard and un-imaginative people produce poetry and the weak show strength beyond reason. Maybe it’s the (secret) anonymity of posting our thoughts or perhaps it’s the simple fact that your keyboard has exactly as many keys as does  mine.  It’s like the ultimate coat check room (in reverse, of course), “…you’ll be dining with your rogerian boss and his scottian wife? may I offer you a cute little smart-ass jacket and pair of who-gives-a-fuck gloves?” This internet, in general, (and the ‘sphere, in particular), has so much that allows us to become more and become less.

and yet,  I will (and you can) still be able to recognize a scott, no matter how sentimental her prose may be, and if there is a roger in the Comment thread, I’ll spot them (and teach you to) as sure as I can count the Replies-that-have-no-new-information-simply-are-the-graphic-form-of-getting-in-the-last-word.  And, yes  the clarks among us (my god! the ratio changes so much in the internet… in the ‘real’ world:  2/3’s rogers 1/10 scotts and 3/17’s clarks*).
So, is there a point to this Post today? Oddly, there is.  Which is not to say that normally there is not a point to my Posts, there is.  The motivation driving nearly all the Posts here at the Wakefield Doctrine has come from… the Wakefield Doctrine. (no, I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s just that, from the very first Post I wrote, I’ve felt a need to write about the Wakefield Doctrine, needless to say, it’s never been work. Aggravating and frustrating, sure! But I’ve always gotten more out of this process than I’ve put in. Very interesting**

In any event, one of the more remarkable effects of the Wakefield Doctrine (and it’s potential as a tool for self-improving oneself, surely to be a featured component of the Book), is my apparent comfort in living ‘the life public’…  I realize that everyone who has a blog is, to one degree or another, comfortable with the idea that sharing of the semi-minutiae of life (of the author) will be welcomed (by the Readers). But, like any newly acquired skill, I suspect that I will come to appreciate the complexity of this idea more and more as I learn to be comfortable with this sharing.

 

oh!!  yeah!!  remind me to consider that the ….benefit of writing a Post might change, where I might start my day with a Post maybe the function it serves can change to the extent that it might serve as a way to un-wind at the end of a day, as opposed to…er   winding up (?!!) at the beginning.  And no, I have not over-looked the ‘everything Rule’ as it might apply here, in the question of the Doctrine changing my view on being more accessible. (nice catch, though zoe)

 

* I don’t have to say it, do I?  …roger?

** if you are studying your Doctrine you will recognize this statement as clark for: “I don’t know, but there is an element of fear to this feeling, so lets not get too serious, ok?”

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