the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

“…so! are you ready for the big storm?”

…friendly and caring, inviting and (somehow) enthusiastic words floated across the office yesterday morning. It was our newest rogerian agent, on the phone to a client. I was at my desk, in the corner (windows on 2 sides, but the corner nevertheless), and this simple phrase totally commanded my attention. ‘That is so rogerian!’ was my first thought. Following thoughts were:

• god! what a loud voice
• his voice is not conveying alarm or fear, there is an un-mistakable  promise of excitement or maybe, even better…. shared excitement
• … coming from a scott, it would have been heard more like,   ‘hey, have you been working out?’ (scottian female) or, ‘what’s that perfume you’re wearing?’ (male scott)

So what does the Doctrine tell us about this little snippet of a part of a telephone conversation? Two things:

1. as a clark I’m hearing only the words (but, because I’m fluent in the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine, I could not help but to be drawn to the tone of the words being spoken by the roger)
2. to a roger there is something going on that, as a clark, I would not understand, although, as a clark, I might be enticed/charmed/convinced by the message that I was over hearing
3. I need to remember that even though we (me, the rogerian agent, the putative listener on his phone) live in a common world, the everyday world of weather reports and telephones and approaching rainstorms, the Doctrine charges us to remember that our experience of these events, (how they ‘manifest’ to us as clarks and scotts and rogers), can be as different as cats and dogs, ghosts and bridges

From this 7 second, overheard half-a-phonecall, we can infer: rogers ‘enjoy’ preparing for challenges, the more ‘common’ the experience, i.e. a hurricane or a blizzard or an upcoming exam or a national holiday,  the more enjoyment there is to be had; the ‘enthusiasm’ in the voice of our roger, (in today’s example), conveys both a challenge, an invitation and an attempt at seduction… “hey, that rain is really coming down,  …come here often?”

So we have an insight into the worldview of the Herd, an artifact* to add to our collection:  the virtue of preparing and preparedness.

As we know, in the personal reality of the roger, there is a Right way and there are a bunch of other ways. For the most part, rogers seek to learn/discover/find/practice the Right way, if for no other reason than, that (the Right way) exists in the same form for everyone, therefore it represents the highest form (of an act or action).
rogers, if they do nothing else, strive for perfection. The virtue in preparation is found in the element of ‘common practice’…. the over-crowded supermarket the day before the Blizzard of the Century… I’ve always wondered why there is such an element of ….celebration in the air.  It’s because the grocery store is full of rogers engaging in practice of preparation… buying bread and milk is only the outward activity,  the source of the energy and excitement is that the Herd is engaged in a common effort.

(Hey!  new Readers? I often warn people about, how once you get to the point where you can see the clarks, scotts and rogers in your life, you will be unable to not see the clarks, scotts and rogers in your life. Lets add another level to this advisory. Today’s Post is an example of how much there is going on around us that is so interesting… become fluent in the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine and you’ll never have to watch reality TV again!)

* an ‘artifact’ is a word or phrase that provides an insight into a worldview, these are rare and incredibly valuable. Examples:  ‘referential authority’  and  ‘the security of expectations’ ( thanks, Kristi)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(damn!  I looked the word up and my intended use is….close, but not really. shit.)

Anyway, I’ve got some clips from previous Posts lined up, better not waste ’em.

From Octovia 7 2010 (yeah, over 14 years ago!)

… clarks, scotts and rogers were at an athletic event and were waving pennants and cheering their team, what would it look like?

clarks: (2 possibilities):  a) a bunch of rogers with $5.00 bills sticking out of their pockets would wave a “Go! clarks” pennant 3 times, look around, start talking to their fellow rogers and forget they have anything in their hands and “go clarks” end up under the bleachers…to be found later by a clark, who would gather them up quickly so that no one would see them and get embarrassed; B) among the rogerian banners and pennants being waved from the full bleachers, in the upper left corner there is one pennant that says “go clarks….”

scotts: they don’t need pennants, or if there is someone near with artistic skills, the scotts will have them (probably a clark) write words on their faces and chests in body paint. Mostly, “Kill”, and “Go Team! (KILL)” but for the most part the scottian element at the game will be happy shouting, “KILL (other team name here)” or “Get in the Hole”!!! or ” eee haaa” or similar ‘inchoate-high-volume-noise-meant-to-designate-a-perceived-freedom-to-act-in-any-manner-that-occurs-to-the-scott-in-question’ ( … aiiyee, Miguel! esta palabra, ‘incipiente’ ¿Qué quiere decir?… ).  Guess it is kinda hard to put into words, but then again, they are scotts…

rogers: you know that  ‘wave’ thing that stadium goers do? Stand up and sit down in sequence?…rogers!   And the thing where the crowd holds up black or white cards that, when seen from afar (there is a hint right there) the whole half of the stadium appears to be spelling out the Pythagorean theory complete with proof and citations …rogers!   Hell, for that matter, every marching band in the western world… you know, the ones who insist on doing an arrangement of “I Feel Good” (James Brown) complete with choreography and solos by the horn sections and everyone, including the overweight tuba-playing guys, doing the splits at the end?…rogers!  Real simple concept here, if it is complicated to the point that you lose track of the original reason for doing the thing and requires a level of coordination that would make a school of albacore blush in shame, then you are talking about rogers…

So, there you have it! In time for the football season, you now know how to identify clarks, scotts and rogers at the (high school/college) football games.  (… yes? Britney? you have a question?  the female clarks, scotts and rogers?  Why of course they are there!! The Wakefield Doctrine is, after all, gender neutral!  Let’s take the easy ones first…. {very funny Jimmy, besides the scottian girls…} the cheerleaders.  Not counting the male cheerleaders, who are rogers to a “man”. The girl cheerleaders will have the rogerian females on the ground-level of those formation things. Can’t afford to have anyone lose their focus and wander off, the rest are little scottian girls being thrown into the air by clarklike females (with the extra sparkle-things on their showlaces and their hair a little weird).

(From the Year of Our Lord MMXII, the month of Octopi):

So a quick review of primary characteristics of clarks and scotts and rogers.

clarks: quiet, tend to mumble and are on the “brainy” side (not geeks who tend to be rogers) but clarks are the ones who are living in their own heads.  If you want to know about anything that normal people don’t have the time to learn about, clarks are the people you will go to… there is one in your life, close but you just haven’t noticed them.  clarklike females will dress from the “androgyny fashion collection” mix and mix, especially shoes… the clarklike males will be grey(with a splash of beige)  and have virtually no eye contact when speaking to you, which if they do, will consist of strings of incomplete sentences.

scotts: never stop moving, never stop talking, never fuckin stop…sports fans to a person…your scott is the one who introduces themselves whether they are entering a situation where they are the stranger or there is a stranger entering the setting where the scott  already is…when you move to a new place, the neighbor who comes to “welcome you to the neighborhood” that’s your scott…always helpful as long as “completing the task” is not the priority…scottian females…always attractive/seductive/commanding/demanding depending on the context, scottian males…always in charge…the person best described as “not always right but never uncertain…”

rogers: the most social and accommodating person you know, the roger is, in fact, most likely your family doctor, your family lawyer, your family accountant, emphasis on family…the person who knows the family history and insists that you come to the family reunion that’s your roger, the one who knows how many forks should be on which side of the plate…there’s your rogerian female…want to have a long conversation?…talk to a roger, they make it so easy to talk about yourself…the rogerian male will be well dressed and if you want to know if ascots and large briarwood pipes are still worn and/or smoked you will find the roger when you see either of them and if you want to imagine settling down and raising a family with a beautifully decorated home and be a member in all the right clubs and organisations…then a rogerian female will be near by.

Thats all we have time for today.

Remember to be ready next week to Vote for your Faaavorite Guard Virgin