Month: July 2014 | the Wakefield Doctrine

Guest Post Thursday’s Guest Post the Wakefield Doctrine (you can’t spell Wakefield Doctrine without the ‘r’ in roger!)

July 24, 2014 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Our guest Post Writer on this week’s Thursday Guest Post Thursday is Phyllis. She is a roger, a chemist (a decidedly rogerian profession) and she runs a large environmental lab (full of rogers). Phyllis does not have a blog. She is, nevertheless, fluent in the principles (and application) of the Wakefield Doctrine. (She is responsible for identifying an ‘artifact’ from the rogerian worldview, ‘ to lead from behind’). This week, instead of citing Posts and providing links, listing awards for writing and recognition from the blogosphere, I will tell the story behind the above photo.

The dog is Bella. She was Phyllis’ dog, (Phyllis was alpha in our pack-of-three, which meant she was the center of Bella’s world). Bella had health problems from the very beginning, but this story is not about how Phyllis made Bella’s life all that a dog could hope for. Bella’s health failed in the last year of her life, but this story is not about how Phyllis did not give up on her dog, instead finding a way for her to have an additional year of good quality life. Rather, this story is about Bella’s last day on earth.
… one day, on a startlingly beautiful day, in early Autumn, Bella’s health took a sudden turn for the worse. we knew that it was ‘a perfect day’. Bella still felt good, active and walks (albeit short ones) were taken in the woods that she enjoy, she had one of her favorite meals (Dinty Moore) for lunch, Bella was tired but clearly very happy to spend the day (a weekday, no less) with her pack. The family vet was called to the house and, eventually, we all sat in the yard, waiting for the time.

Did I mention that Phyllis was a roger? …rogers live in, and of, a world grounded in emotion. (They can be loudly emotional, at other times, they might be quietly and intensely emotional. rogers can seem consumed by (their own) emotions and occasionally they will overwhelm those around them, such fundamental things (are these) emotions.)

That day in September, as Phyllis undertook the most difficult task that a person with a dog can be asked to do, the (emotional) atmosphere among those in our backyard was one of peace and calmness. I could feel it. Bella felt it. On her blanket she radiated that amazing sense of poise that dogs exhibit when they are among ‘their pack’.

…Phyllis?

A guest post.

Items on my desk make me a Roger

·        Picture of a RI governor and me at previous job (reminds me how important I must be)

·        Picture of Mom and me

Rogers believe in pictures of families, especially dead ones.

The only thing I specifically requested from Mom’s house was her desk with all the old pictures.

I added Clark’s dead relatives to it.

·        Mini Cooper computer mouse

Did I mention that my sneaker laces match the color of my mini? (What a Roger).

·        Picture of Ola (First Dog)

·        Picture of Bella (My Rogerian Dog)

·        Coffee cup with Una photos (not used for coffee – just for decoration)

·        Collage of Clark, Bella and me

·        Lots of mounds of paper (to make me look important)

Redemption (also known as exhibiting my Clark-like attributes)

AKA

I IRON CLARK’S SHIRTS!!!!!!

For the past year, I have ironed Clark’s shirts and it brings me the biggest chuckle.

If there was a category: most unlikely to iron shirts, I would be top of the list. And yet, I iron Clark’s shirts.

For those who believe in miracles, very miraculous.

My mom taught me and my sister how to iron. She was a Roger, and we also learned how to set a table for 12 courses.

I grew up thinking that “I will NEVER EVER be subservient to anyone. I will never clean, cook, and definitely not iron.”

Yet I iron Clark’s shirts.

When we first became a couple, in the fall of 1982, Clark asked “Will you iron my shirts?” I said “No, thank you”

Thirty years go by, and my Mom gets sick and dies.

I get her iron – deluxe model.

I find I miss her a lot. One day, out of grief, I start to iron – makes me smile each and every time.

Phyllis

Una

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, psychology of personality, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

‘the reality of worldviews and everyday life’ the Wakefield Doctrine (an effort to apply Molly’s Rule*)

July 23, 2014 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(ed.note: the above vid was picked for a Post topic that has since been discarded, still works, no?)

hey! Readers between the ages of 30 to 40 …quick!! what performers are the 18 to 20 year olds in college listening to right now, today? …don’t laugh, ’41 to 60 y.o.s what are the names of the three highest drawing live music acts that will bring out the 13 to 15 years old set? ok, good, …don’t get too confident! golf fans!!! yeah, you!! who is the current top seed male tennis player? (hell, lets make it easy on the golf fans… hey! golfers!!! who recently deposed the (previous) top player on the LPGA? …no, I didn’t think so.)

People sometimes have difficulty ‘getting’ the Wakefield Doctrine and the leading reason for this is the concept of worldview (aka personal reality). The Doctrine is predicated on the notion that we all live in a reality that is personal. The ‘personality types’ of the Wakefield Doctrine are simply markers for the (characteristic) worldview that a given person grows up, develops and lives their lives in, day in and day out. Rather than ask you, the Reader, a series of questions and then seeing what category you fit in, the Wakefield Doctrine would have you try to infer how a person is ‘relating themself to the world around them. If you can do that, then you will know more about that person than they know about themselves. And the way we get to the point of being able to correctly infer the worldview of a person is by a thorough understanding of the characteristics of the three worldviews:

the reality of the Outsider that results in a clarklike personality person, (…sitting invisibly next to you through 4 years of high school, dreaming of the chance of being normal and you expect him to believe that washing your hair is the only reason you can’t go to a fuckin football game… or giving the freshman rogers their first look at MC Escher and Maxfield Parrish prints only to be left sitting there on the single bed with the macramé wall hangings and the ‘hang in there, baby’ poster taped to the cinderblock wall as he just about runs out of your dorm room because his girlfriend from high school decided she would entertain a further apology )
the life of the Predator, who survives growing up in a world of Predator and Prey simply is that person (male or female… yay!! for the female…woohooo!! scottian women…. the stiletto shoes industry bows before your plunging neckline…. and male scotts?? hell, how else was I ever expecting to end up in the Principals office/local police station/soldout concert in Boston with 3 dollars in gas and 40 minutes to get there?!?! of the three personality types, who better knows that life is all about today?)
the orderly, predictable, quantifiable and there-is-a-Right-way-to-do-things world of the Herd Member, rogers to the right of you and rogers to the left of you, they are all around, always, simply because the roger lives in the center of the herd….which herd? does not matter… why are they of the herd? didn’t you hear me? they are in the center of the herd, with rogers to the left and rogers to the right…what more do you need to know? male or female, they are there, wherever you go, unless you are stranded on a desert island and, you start to think, ‘well, I’m here alone stranded on a desert island, so I guess there are no rogers around’ and then you realize you are talking to a decorated coconut….and you are not alone)

ok…out of time today. Molly’s Rule? go ask her… here’s her Facebook page (she’s a friend of the Doctrine and so, probably won’t have you blocked for stalking her…but you never know, better go ahead and tell her the Doctrine sent ya)

Don’t forget!!! tomorrow is Guest Post Thursday’s Weekly Once a Week Guest Post….Thursday rogers!

*once we were talking about writing on one of the Saturday Night Drive calls…and I was asking the same old question: how to better get the Doctrine across to the Readers, and Molly, who knows her way around story writing said, ‘you don’t need to give them every possible fact or information, assume they are intelligent enough to get it and if they need more information, they can ask‘ (or words to that effect). I try to keep the Rule in mind, and sometimes even manage to apply it.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, predicting human behavior, psychology of personality, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

“…how well do you know,” the Wakefield Doctrine (?) “…you’re totally not surprised at this being a re-print post, very good!”

July 22, 2014 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Yes, for those of you who smiled at this Title? I am proud to know you, you are well versed at our little personality theory. Anyone wondering why:

one might have guessed and/or not been surprised
how you could have known that

just ask one of the Readers, like Lizzi or Cyndi or zoe or Christine or Kristi or Dyanne or Michelle… some of them will give you a straight and serious answers, but, some of them will kid you a bit, before telling you what you think you want to know. While you’re working up your nerve to write a Comment/question, here is the aforementioned re-print Post from…. November 13 2012

‘and a thousand telephones that will not ring, the Wakefield Doctrine: the theory of personality predicated on three characteristic worldviews’

Question: If your husband is a roger and you are a clark, is it true that they never accept how much you have changed over the years, since you first met?
Answer: Too true¹

(Welcome to ‘ya shoulda just asked Tuesday’! We will be presenting some common questions and the semi-comprehensive answers…along with a little commentary, mostly to let us get away with dividing the page into block quotes.’)

Question: My best friend is funny and fun to be with, but sometimes when we are around other people he gets like, mean even goes and picks on me. But this happens only with certain people, this big kid that (my friend) knows. What gives?

Answer: Chances are your friend is a scott and the person that, when they’re around, your friend starts acting mean?…well, that other person is a scott too, but they are what we call dominant (to your friend). So your friend, even though he is picking on you, doesn’t mean to hurt your friendship… it’s a pack² thing, you know?
Answer: jeez, if you say so

(This question deals with the changing pack order (from the scottian perspective) and it’s effects on the behavior of a scott. Note: this question (and by implication, the experience cited), will most likely be posed by a clark. Do you know why that should be?)

Question: My fiancée and I are getting close to the Big Day. When we first got engaged, we both agreed to keep the ceremony and everything on the quiet, low-key side, but lately, ( the wedding is in 3 months), she has been talking more to her sisters and some of her old friends and it seems like the guest list is getting bigger and bigger. What gives?

Answer: She is probably a roger. Forget about changing her mind. It means a lot to her, in a way that you will never understand. So relax! Sneak a couple of your friends that she might not have approved when the guest list was small, she probably won’t even notice now, and if she does make an issue of it, say the following to her (word for word): “I understand how important family is to you now. And even though I am not close to my family, you have shown me that my feelings³ of friendship with (fill in the names of you friends) make them like family. Won’t you let my family join your family …darling?”

(And there are those who would say, ‘Hey Wakefield Doctrinaires! Sure you have a uniquely clever take on personality types, but what about practical applications? Huh, what about those?‘ Well, here ya go! Who cannot not identify with this situation? …not counting the rogers, of course!)

Question: My boss is nice enough, but it seems like he tries too hard to be, like my friend or something! Every day it is ‘how are you doing?’, “is there anything I can do to make your job easier?” I mean, all the time! I can’t get any work done when he is in the office, he is always offering to ‘help’! I might be able to deal with this, except that every time I do get some work done that he needs to sign off on, he always finds fault! And if I come up with something on my own initiative (he likes to say that he wants me to try to ‘think outside the box’) he is either totally negative or acts like he is amazed that I actually did it myself! Should I quite my job?
Answer: Probably.⁴

(This Question deals with a scenario that is all too common. And, although we do not propose that all bosses are rogers, we will say this, ‘If your boss is a scott you have: a) a good time everyday up until the day he decides that it is time to change careers or b) a lead pipe cinch of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so the day you get tired of her shenanigans, ‘it’s sayonara see ya in court’
If your boss is a clark, then we know the following: a) if your clarklike boss is female then her boss is a roger, if your clarklike boss is male then his boss is a scott! and b) they (clarks) make great bosses, will stick up for you totally against all opponents, but jeez! enough with the leadership by consensus! Get a set, yo.

That music referenced in the Title of today’s Post? Totally weird. I’m sitting and watching TV and a commercial comes on and before I can hit ‘MUTE’ I hear the music in the background (of the commercial) and I’m off to the great and omnicient google… and here we are

1) rogers are about consistency, if they are about anything at all! The worldview of the herd (rogers) maintains that history, tradition, continuity…consistency is of the greatest good! The worldview is also one in which the individual’s relationship with the world-at-large manifests primarily in emotional terms. So when a (lasting) relationship forms, the details of ‘the other’ person are important, in a sense, manifesting the emotional investment. So, as time goes by, even though people change and grow and develop, the roger will still insist on seeing the ‘original person’

2) scotts, in the initial behavioral metaphor: like pack animals, i.e. wolves, dogs, lions and such. The social ranking in the pack is one of simple dominance, an alpha at ‘the top’ and everyone else in order of strength/prowess/capability downward from there. It is a primary characteristic of the scottian personality type to establish ranking when entering a new (social ) environment. Literally going from person to person, figuratively pushing them on the shoulder in order to establish ranking

3) emotions! always play the emotion-card when dealing with rogers!

4) you could try to…nah, don’t even bother. Maybe if you got to the Doctrine sooner, you might have learned enough to invoke your own rogerian aspect to re-configure your work relationship… but too hard, too frustrating, easier to get another job. But then again, most bosses/middle managers/supervisors/Principals are rogers! so maybe you should be asking about the Wakefield Doctrine School of Self-Improving Oneself…school

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, psychology of personality, the Wakefield Doctrine

ice cream soup, clarks and love the Wakefield Doctrine (and you’re going to work bright and early this morning?!!)

July 21, 2014 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(I normally would spend a lot of time here,at the top of the Post, trying to avert misunderstandings on the part of Readers for the following, by pre-explaining and/or qualifying statement that I think might be mis…somethinged. But, today no. Not this time).

clarks mean well. clarks try so very hard to: do well, to live up to their potential, to not let their parents (and families down), to be good students, to not disappoint, to learn and be like others, earn a good living and support their families, to not be too distant and be the person that their spouse deserves, to learn how to act like others and not be so strange, (clarks) want to be accepted and will work and try without reward or reinforcement, towards this goal, needing only to not feel that they are being looked at and laughed at for being that ‘strange one’.

Had an interesting experience/reaction today. I often, when in a situation that carries the threat of un-wanted attention or un-earned rewards, find ways to sabotage myself. How I sabotage myself varies and is so innate that, in some circumstances, you would think I was doing it to myself on purpose! (lol*) In any event, for reasons unclear to me, on this particular morning, I got mad at this self-sabotage. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, “…don’t you mean, clark, that you were getting mad at yourself”
Only at first.
And then, I was angry only just enough to disrupt the cycle, (which is often, but not always, possible to do). But that is not what prompts me to write this Post. What prompts me to write this Post is that shortly after this occurrence , as I continued to drive along in my car, I thought about my living with this kind of thing. And, then I thought of the/a young(er) clark, experiencing something that while clearly a self-induced ….’thing’, and despite knowing that it is/it was, all in my mind, (it) still happens.

…and a surprisingly strong feeling of sadness came over me.

not for myself, driving along in my German luxury car, working in a business that is challenging, enjoyable and rewarding, but for that clark that I was. and, (being in possession of the Wakefield Doctrine), for all the other clarks out there who have a similar experience. It really was quite a remarkable 30 minutes or so (see? I’m back to normal…I described it as remarkable).

As I sat behind the wheel, letting this emotion have it’s way, I thought ‘how un-necessary’. In the special mental/emotional shorthand we all have, I knew that somehow this self-sabotage was directly a result/consequence/offshoot of my efforts to learn my way out of being ‘the Outsider’. and, while I do not, for a second, devalue the efforts that I have put towards this end, (as does every clark, everywhere to one degree or another), I felt sad that I could not somehow reach back to my younger self and say, ‘don’t worry, even though being an Outsider is not necessarily your first choice, you are doing good work and you can feel proud of the effort, independent of whether anyone else in the world acknowledges it. you are a good and sufficient person’

…this Wakefield Doctrine, man!

(oddly enough, I was talking to Denise last night about how the Doctrine offers so many different ways to aid in the effort to self-improve ourselves, and that I have not even begun to scratch the surface, in these Posts.)

I debated with myself whether adding a favorite music vid, (thinking, ‘Werewolves of London’) would be too much of distraction from what I wrote, a typical clarklike effort to ‘hedge my bet with the world’… as much as the ‘smile of a clark‘ which we all recognize, the pressing of the lips together, a glance out of the corner of our eyes, all to make sure we aren’t smiling where we are not welcome.

…and I decided that it was.

* lol: ‘laugh out loud’ I am told that use of this…expression marks me as out of: date/touch/cool/current blog writing practices. too bad)

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, predicting human behavior, psychology of personality, relationships, self-development, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (can’t decide to plug in famous Wm S. quote or not…. let me know)

July 19, 2014 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Mid-Summer Edition of the 10 Things of Thankful.

!) Joy Christi for giving of her time and not inconsiderable talent on Thursday’s Guest Post Thursday Guest Post. She is a scott and we are very grateful that she consented to writing for our weekly series. While there is no pre-set theme or ‘organizing view’ being imposed on our Guests, there is nevertheless an understanding, on the part of Readers of all these Posts. The Doctrine maintains that it is possible to appreciate the world as the other person is experiencing it. Consider each Thursday an opportunity to see through the eyes of another, who, we are being given the advantage to know, is an Outsider(clark) or a Predator(scott) or a Herd Member(roger). Kinda like Doctrine practice, but with jokes and pictures and other things, but without, unfortunately team uniforms.

@) vidchats enjoyable chatation last night. Lizzi and I opened the evening on a more formal note, with her just in from a night on the town, still in evening dress. we were joined by Denise (going old school with audio only) then, a rather pleasant surprise…Jean! followed by Laura and zoe (all too briefly) and Michelle (from tomorrow) and finally Joy. fun, informative (we did hear from Christine who reported that she was either: a) driving on a van on vacation or 2) sitting in a Formula1 car, waiting to start the race…wasn’t too clear on that…

#) Cars

$) dogs (Una, of course)

%) video phones

^) and an enthusiasm for an idea, (the Wakefield Doctrine), that overcomes all sense of what is ‘interesting to others’ (as opposed to) what is ‘interesting only to me’ (for a sleeker look to today’s 10 List…here is link to vid)

&) (as I alluded to in this week’s vid entry (Item Number ^ above), I am constantly and permanently grateful for the fun that Lizzi and the 9 hostinae bring to this weekly exercise in finding the better side of life. In fact, I believe I made this point in a Comment to someone last week, to the effect that, though the idea of a gratitude-based bloghop is not unique, the attitude and fun that permeates the TToT is…

*) Secret Book of Rules (aka Book of Secret Rules) I mentioned to L last night that there are more and more new participants this Summer. Which is a good thing. The questions about the BoSR are not un-expected and, in fact, welcomed. ‘The Book’ is full of useful, fun, potentially-backfire-and-make-you-look-silly, clever and, at times life saving rules, exceptions, provisions and conditions that can be employed in the process of writing a TToT list. The only caveat, is that there are (said to be) Seven GuardVirgins who hold the power to judge the appropriateness of a Rule. Lizzi and zoe are our resident experts on these….. er personages. Best check with them. (you know the most fun about a lot of this bloghop? it’s discovering and coining words and such. I’m thinking of Sarah who, unless I’m mistaken, has made popular the reference ‘SGV’…. seems like a little thing, but cool nonetheless)

() as always, I gotta cite my personal sine qua non…. the Wakefield Doctrine

!)) Hey! new people!! free tip on the BoSR (aka SB0R)….SR 1.3 (which states, in part: the completion of a list of Ten Things, may, in fact, be included and cited as an item of that selfsame list; provided that it isn’t used every week and gets, you know, like old….)