Month: November 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 2 Month: November 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 2

TToT XXV the Wakefield Doctrine (” per medium? etiam si dimidiam partem semper … 2 in qua nati sunt, in fabulis!)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Vintage_mens_magazine03

(still on first coffee, not much time before everyone recovers from last night…I am grateful:

  1. to Lizzi for having the idea for the hop and giving it life
  2. Christine for being there for Lizzi with the hug or the push as needed
  3. Joy for providing a ‘center’ always there simple and heartfelt
  4. Michelle for being a solid, consistent power of example…even if her icon is different every week and you never know where she will turn up!)
  5. Kristi …damn!
  6. Dyanne  when the angry mob starts to form, you will look (though you know you needed) and she will be standing right there…
  7. Melissa  for being there…somewhere, and simply  being fun to read!
  8. Kristi a calm assurance is always a benefit, even  (no, especially when the exciting ones are all around) when you think you’re the only one standing still
  9. Zoe  (icon of your choice here)
  10. …and, of course,  the Wakefield Doctrine ( it’s always been (the) sine qua non  binyons!)

 

It’s time for the 25th TToT
Please join our hosts so

 

Everyone's favourite Pig Wrangler Who do you want to be today? Clark? Scott? Roger? She's loving the Sunny side of life Cloudy with a chance of poetry Purveyor of brain-candy, beautiful words and dorky pictures Nutty as a bloody fruitcake! Our Bardic WIZARD, and mascot The Skipenator She'll bake you a mountain of thankfulness What the L? She's deranged! Our very adorkable warrior Image Map

 

And just for you, a freebie, too:

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 

Ten Things of Thankful
 Your hosts


(wavy screen….)

 

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Ten Things of Thankful: week 35-36/2013

1) It was Sunny’s birthday this week. Yes, my little boy turned six. I will forever be thankful for the day he came into my life and for the person he has become since then and will become in the future. He fills my heart like no one else and I love him so very much.We had a very good time on his birthday and invited a friend and her daughter. The weather was beautiful, so we had cake in our garden and the kids played with Sunny’s gazillion balls on the trampoline. All in all it was a beautifully, laid back day.2) This afternoon after I wrote my post about our appointment with the dentist I really thought hard about whether there was anything about it to be thankful for. I must say that it is difficult for me to find anything positive about it. Maybe really that Sunny lets me clean his teeth quite thoroughly. But that’s about it, sorry guys. :-/3) I am thankful that the sun and the summer came back this week. To be honest, I already crossed summer off and prepared myself for fall, so this was a nice surprise.4) I am very much looking forward to tomorrow because we will seize the nice weather and have a barbecue (I hear you, Clark – yes, I love barbecues! ;-) ), maybe the last one this summer.5) This was the last full holiday week. We had a really good time this summer and did a lot of wonderful things. School officially starts for most kids on Monday but our official school enrolment will be next Thursday so we have three more days off before school starts for Sunny. I am still nervous, I admit it. And I still have so much to do until then….

and our newest co-hostinae Melissa accepted the Offer (in no small part because of TToT Post such as:

This week I’m thankful for:
1. The opportunity to read not one, but two, celebrity magazines during my Saturday lunch. Had already knocked out bathtime and lunch and even one taking a nap, so I got to sit at the kitchen island eating noodles and reading. If you want to call that reading.

2. Elmo. Yes, Elmo. He’s helped my children learn their ABCs and he’s helping the older one learn to use the potty. He was the first TV character’s name that both our girls knew, and that was without actually having seen him on TV. A little weird, but I now I know, “Eh-mo” is pretty easy for a baby to say.

3. A movie sequel called RED 2. It wasn’t quite as good as the first, but it was still so much fun to watch on a real movie screen. And Helen Mirren is a sexy bitch!!

4. Lists. I wrote recently of my love for lists, and I didn’t even scratch the surface. Right now, I am looking at six different lists, all within a hand’s reach of me. And those are just the ones I can actually see. I know there’s more buried under a week’s worth of newspapers and bills that are probably overdue

…and, our own Bobbi   Dyanne!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Ten Things That Are Full Of Great

“Grateful” is spelled entirely wrong. It should be “greatfull.” Case in point: this list of ten things that are full of great!1. Fall is really trying to show up down here in the armpit of the Ozarks. It was still 90 degrees today, but there was a relatively cool breeze and the air just FEELS different, somehow. My favorite time of year starts when high school football season starts and continues until the presents are opened on Christmas Day. Then I’m done, but it’s a good 4 month run of delightfulness until then!

2. I’m getting better at telling the identical twins apart in my classroom. The ones in my primary class are the hardest, because they are very quiet and I don’t have any vocal cues to help me out. The pair in my pre-k class are much easier (and not because they don’t look as much alike, because they DO), although I called one of them the wrong name TWICE today and had to give her two pieces of candy for it (me and my big mouth – I told them if I called them the wrong name, they would get a piece of candy). And in my defense, the first time, she was standing next to her sister’s chair, and her sister was on the other side of the room (and neither of them were quite where they were supposed to be), so I don’t think that one was my fault. The second one, I will concede, was TOTALLY my fault. But I paid up for both.

3. My darling friend Lizzi is going to run a 5k for Race for Life in honor of me! And it’s only three weeks away. And I don’t think she’s run more than five feet in her entire life, and here she’s going to do a 5k. FOR ME and for everyone else affected by cancer. If you feel led to donate to her cause, here’s the link: http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/lizzirogers

4. The Freshman Lady Eagle Volleyball team remains undefeated in regular season play, although they did lose two games in a tournament (tournaments don’t really count, but apparently, neither do freshmen anyway, which is sad that no one at their school really knows or cares how awesome they are). And when you consider these girls came together from three different middle schools, having never played together as a team before, well, just WAIT until they are on Varsity.

…and, of course… zoe (from 08.16.13)
43) bread, all kinds…monetary and edible
44) new born babies of all species
45) old people …great stories
46) really eccentric people
47) peaches
48) random lists
49) wild animals around our home
50) Did I mention Im turning 50 tomorrow (or the next day…who knows??? again…don’t ask.) ?

                                                                                  That’s me bottom left…
(oh you mean the one who is ‘willing to take part in the photo’, seeing how important it seemed to those people?  the girl clearly looking at something that no one there was going to be able to see…and being alight (lol…typo, of course I meant alright ) with it?  sorta)
Share

Ten Things of Thankful 25th Postaversary the Wakefield Doctrine (“…they said they thought it would take hours!”)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

 

It’s time for the 25th TToT

Please join our hosts so

 

 

And just for you, a freebie, too:

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 

 

How easy is this going to be! damn…here I was all worried and shit about holding up on my end (being the sole host from the fine state of Y Chrome). While I know I have the 9 hostinae ‘totally having my back’, a 25th weekaversary only happens once every ( 25….24 (cause you can’t count it twice!) er 100 and … ) not that often. It is a special occasion further complicated by the fact that the female hosts are mostly women and you know they get about anniversaries and such… Man! if I wasn’t around here to forget to link back to home base (Post #1) or misspell some of the words and forget someone’s name (Post 1..), or screw around with the Rules (Secret Rule 1.3 ‘one item counts as itself for itself…’) well, I don’t know what they would do! But I am grateful.

And so on this, the first 1/2 of the 25th Post of the Ten Things of Thankful (aka TToT), I get to wander around the metaphorical living room, generally getting in the way and asking if Jak or Rich have shown up yet and occasionally sneaking up stairs for a break. I will simply say that I am grateful to Lizzi for having the idea for this bloghop and the strength of Will to make it what it has become despite how much it flew in the face of conventional wisdom on how to have a bloghop. (…and to my co-hosts who will from weekend to weekend, whisper ‘the smaller fork for the salad! the smaller fork!’ I am also very grateful.

However Rules is Rules. And (Secret Rule 1.3 notwithstanding) I will comply.

Hey! Remember back in the day, when TV series had, like one season and then all repeats for a while and then a new season? And, after becoming successful, they would, at the end of the season, do a ‘flashback episode’? It was always an obvious setup, the regular characters would be like, stuck in an elevator or lose the Power during Christmas or, (I remember they did this in ‘Frasier’) there would be an emergency and everyone would wait around waiting for whoever to get out of surgery and someone would say, ‘Yeah remember the time….’ and they would insert a clip from a previous episode.

I am grateful for…. hey, remember the time?………………………

(June 8 2013)

Ten Things of Thankful

One day when life was particularly tough, I remembered a trick I’d employed when life had been tough before:
Find ten things, right now, to be thankful for about today.
And I began to write them on Considerings, partly to share what was good in my life, and partly so I could hold myself accountable for doing them.
A week’s self-challenge of ten things behest a ten-day challenge, then a two-week challenge, and by that time I’d realised how much change I’d made in myself.By actively choosing to seek the Good things – by hunting them down and dragging them out (kicking and screaming, sometimes) I was making a change in my own attitude.
Not only that, but people seemed interested in how I was doing this. Inspired to try taking charge in their own lives and actively seeking the Good.
So very tentatively, I began a blog hop, with some very supportive, wonderful co-hosts, and Ten Things of Thankful was born.
Why Ten Things? That’s a lot! Ten because it’s meant to be a challenge. When Ten Things are easy and life’s going well, that’s great and it’s wonderful to share, but when life’s going really badly, it’s dragging you down and the thought of even finding three Things is a massive undertaking, that’s when the exercise comes into it’s own. Those things are there. Truly. Even if it’s only that you’re still breathing. Still able to type.
This is when the choice you’re making to actively engage in seeking the Good is absolutely vital.
Doing it in a manner whereby others can read, understand and support you is just an added bonus.
When is it? It lasts all weekend (each weekend) and there are no rules other than that your post include Ten Things you’re Thankful for about the week you’ve had (or about something coming up in the next week) and our banner.
Are there rules? If you follow my co-hosts and I, we’ll be thankful.If you join in the conversations on the pages of those who’ve linked in, we’ll be full of joy, because we *love* conversations (the luxury of the longer blog hop).
and so it started.
(yeah! clark we do remember that first Post… do you remember the first time you met Lizzi? …and like how her friend Christine, was all like ..’so who is this Doctrine guy? what’ his blog like? does he have any followers?… you know how you always bring home such strange…. bloggers… next time he comes around bring him into the house proper like! you hear me missy?”)

10 Things of Thankful, Week 2

1. I am thankful for kind blog friends. Besides the fact you make me laugh, support me in the good and the bad, and simply just brighten my day, not one of you called me out on my incorrect spelling of “inaugural” (I spelled it something like inogarulle, but it seems spellcheck doesn’t work in the title) in last week’s thankful post. (Don’t bother going back to look. I already changed it.) Are you all just that nice, or do you not know how to spell it, either?

2. I am thankful for my perfectionist husband, who read the blog and alerted me to the misspelling. If only he could have read it before Tuesday.

3. I am thankful for my Betty Crocker cookbook. That woman never lets me down. I bought a big box of blueberries, which only two people in my house will eat. However, in a Blueberry Streusel Muffin, all of the kids will devour them.

4. I am thankful for my umbrella. Sunshine triggers Lupus flares. An umbrella allows me to do a lot of the things I want to do, and some of the things I have to do

 

(yeah, we liked her from the first time we met her… and her Posts were always to well layed-out. but you know what is cool… that everyone feels free to use anything they want to use…like videos and such, like the first time that Joy used a video in here Post…which were always so simply and directly written and then like…bam! lol )

Ten Things of Thankful: week 24-25/2013

This is for those of you who did not read my post from yesterday: My week has been beyond busy with dozens of appointments and things on my to do list. Therefore, I want to apologise that I have not gotten back to everyone on the last Thankful blog post yet. I hope I will be able to do so at some point this weekend.Here is this week’s Ten Things of Thankful list:1) Strawberries. I love them and I enjoy the sweetness of our local fruits. Sadly, the local strawberry season will soon be over.2) Fountains where hot feet can be cooled in.

3) “Sweet Disposition” by The Temper Trap. I love how this song starts off rather restraint and then ends in a powerful crescendo. It gives me major chills every time I hear it.

4) That this crazily busy week is almost over now. I really hope next week will be a bit better!

5) The air condition we bought for Sunny’s room. It is the only AC in our home. This week was hot

(yeah… that was one of those that let people know that this was not one of you average bloghops!! but I think when it comes to multi level…. that Michelle…)
Hey! Michelle very good defenses on the site… er could you lend me a copy of TToT #6? lol I can’t seem to scrap it!
and speaking of clarks… (when it comes to gratitude Kristi will be the one we are most grateful to/for but might not know quite how to express it…. damn! it’s cold out here on the porch…thank god someone still….)

Please know that while on vacation, I’ll be mostly off-line, but promise to catch up on your Thankfuls, and everything else, when we return.

I’m thankful for…

  1. The bliss of ocean waves, sun and sandcastles.
  2. Birthday cake, candles and the brownies that my friend Sara made and shipped to Tucker just in time for us to bring them with us to the beach.
  3. Tucker taking a long nap so that he’s able to enjoy fireworks.
  4. Fireworks.Watching the Bayou Wox (say it out loud – you’ll probably get it faster than I did, first thinking it was “balloon box”).
  5. The fact that after just one day in the sun and sand, I do not feel anxious. I am Truly Relaxed right now. I don’t know when I was last able to say those words. I do know that it was too long ago and I have resolved to make this state be a reality more often. I consider it a gift for my little boy.
  6. The special excitement that children have. Tucker’s utter glee over us showing up at school yesterday with pizza and cupcakes. I’m thankful for the other kids in his classes and for Tucker’s teacher, who let us stay and observe how circle-time works, even though it was disruptive and Tucker was more interested in the fact that Robert and I were there than in learning. That he showed off for us.
  7. Extended services. Tucker will continue to receive (part-time, but we’ll take it) incredible support with his same teachers at school this summer.
  8. So many of you sending love and Happy Birthday wishes to our little firecracker.
  9. Hats and sunglasses. Adorableness. 

  10. Today, I am beyond thankful that I have been blessed with the gift of witnessing my little boy navigate the paths of his life while he continues to improve mine.

yeah… this is not your aver-ige blog hop! between being a genuine two days active…allowing…no, encourage interrupting Comment threads…we have such a diverse range of views… and contexts and photos and such and …and!! what other bloghops have Two Kristi(s)? huh? how many?!? no, I didn’t think so…. Kristi from the land-of-mountains-that-they-say-are-as-cool-as-oceans always brings a sense of family to the hop, as simple as anticipated house guests to upcoming weddings and such… very cool

Friday, July 19, 2013

Ten Things of Thankful: Week 7

It’s week 7 of the Ten Things of Thankful, but week one of me being a co-host. To say I’m excited is putting it mildly. I’m so honored to be part of this hop, which not only gives me a chance to reflect on the positive things of the past week, but also gives me a chance to read your list. You will participate, right? If you don’t have a blog, feel free to leave your list in a comment.So many good things this week:1. I’m thankful for a surprise visit from my youngest son. Not only did he bring smiles and laughter, he voluntarily did my dishes one morning while I was running an errand.

2. I’m thankful for cooler temperatures. I’ve even had to turn off the swamp cooler some mornings–the heater kicking on told me the house was cold enough!

3. I’m thankful that my grapes are producing abundantly. The fruits are small, but are sweet and plentiful.

4. I’m thankful for (relatively) inexpensive airfare, which allows me to book a flight to see my parents. I’m the only one heading up; John et al will hold down the fort. I’m going to help Mom and Dad as they move Grandma into their home. I’m looking forward to seeing them all.

5. I’m thankful for my Dad, who introduced me to great folk music. Dad, I couldn’t find a video of John McCutcheon singing this song, but maybe you can hum along as you read the lyrics “It’s your birthday, we wish you many more. Health and wealth and friends by the score. Cut the cake and let’s eat some more. Happy birthday to you!”

6. I’m thankful for patient and friendly blog friends. I love reading comments and e-mails from long-time followers, as well as new friends. Two of the other Ten Things of Thankful co-hosts, In the Coop and Considerer, have been particularly helpful. In the Coop helped answer questions on how to set up afacebook page for my blog . Considerer has been very welcoming, encouraging her readers to stop by my blog and say hello. If you are popping over from her link, hello!

7. I’m thankful that my children have good friends. Youngest son came home last weekend not only to see the family, but also to see his friend who left on his church 2-year mission this week. Oldest daughter had a friend (former roommate) arrive here this week, too, for a several-days visit. My kids seem to choose very nice people as friends, and I’m thankful for that.

what?! it’s 9:30?? damn lets see if this will post to the hop… be sure to join us tomorrow!

 

 Your hosts

 

 

Share

“shit, I shoulda stayed at the Bus Station” the Wakefield Doctrine (sorry the first part of this Title belongs to a different Post entirely)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

what-if-tyler-durden-wrote-the-supposed-rules-of-menswear-02

Break Time!!  Yeah, we know what you’re thinking,* “hey  enough of the heavy introspection, already!  we came here for a break from our daily routines, ya know? The Wakefield Doctrine advertises itself as being a personality theory that’s unique, useful and fun.  Lets see some of that fun!”

Well, we all know that if it’s fun you’re after (and you’re not concerned with the price), there’s only one worldview to go to… the scottian worldview. scotts!!!  (‘Say it baritone and you can hear the police sirens wailing, say it contralto and you’ll surely be praying‘).

We all have a scottian friend. There’s currently a TV commercial for Las Vegas and is premised on that guy, the one we all knew growing up who always had to push it. To go a bit faster, to take a bit more of a risk than is absolutely necessary. juvenile detention facilities structure their business models on the young scottian males’ natural proclivity for anticipating consequences.

And….and! lets not forget that the Wakefield Doctrine is gender neutral! ( ya gotta admit, in most cultures, the male is permitted a greater latitude in (their) choices of expression of drives and instincts and such, the scottian personality type is that of the predator and so they pretty high on the aggressiveness and impulsivity of action. if you are female, in most cultures, they will frown upon you going around arm wrestling, punching your subordinates on the shoulder and saying ‘fuck!’ a lot. fortunately for you (the scottian female) there are ….alternative forms of expression).

if you’re a clark you have always had a scottian friend, if you’re a roger you have never been able to avoid having a scottian friend and if you are a scott you’ve known of other scotts in your life.  you know them because as a scott:

  • they must establish ‘ranking’ in any and every social environment… you will spot the scott because they will alway first ‘work the room’, going from person to person, small group to small group and push everyone on the shoulder (literally and/or figuratively), by doing this they will establish their place in rank
  • they will command attention (or better, for the sake of the rogers) they will simply assume dominance
  • in conversational style:  a clark will listen to you talk, a roger will let you talk…a scott will make you talk
  • females will be identified as ‘tomboys’ early in life (‘from ages 5 to breasts’); with puberty, scottian females come into their own… (short form: most cultures do not permit the female members expressing aggressiveness physically)
  • you will have a clarklike friend, who you will consider a friend because they  do not act like prey nor do they act like as another scott
  • they will be total pushovers for a person who appreciates their mind ( in males it is best to admire their creativity… in females anything not involving their bodies will work  lol)
  • in social conflicts, as in dog training, to feel fear is to admit defeat
  • they are mercurial in temperament and loyal to friends and ferocious as adversaries

But they’re fun! It is easy to say, ‘hey of course we like scotts! they’re active and like to do things and are entertaining. whats not to like?’  True. But, this being the Wakefield Doctrine, we owe to ourselves to look a little deeper.

scotts are impulsive …and this appeals to us, albeit on an unconscious level, they live in the here and now!  (you remember the tale of the fiddle playing grasshopper?? tell me that, before you got to the ‘oh-so-correct-and-this-is-how-you-should-live-your-live sledge hammer ending…. tell me that you didn’t think of the grasshopper as the ‘good guy’! to varying degrees, we all would like to believe that, all we need do is throw off the cares and responsibility and life could be so much more….  and that’s true.

scotts are certain…  and this is why they are ‘natural leaders’… (the Doctrine saying is) ‘scotts are frequently wrong, never uncertain’.  people all too often equate certainty with wisdom

scotts represent what any of us would demonstrate as a ‘personality type’ if we found ourselves in the reality of the predator at a very early age and had to develop coping skills and strategies

scotts are attractive and aggravating, they are natural showmen/show-women, they see the audience as would a hungry lion a pack of gazelles  …

in the history of Man:  scotts are the conquerors, the explorers,  they are Alexander the Great (but not Julius Caesar) they are Genghis Khan (but not Charlemagne)  they are George Patton (but not Dwight Eisenhower)  scotts are cops but not firefighters….scotts are surgeons but not physicians … scotts are prima ballerinas but not Rockettes  …scotts are leaders but not Rulers

If you have made it this far…this is the link to the page on scotts

Hey want to see a scott in action?  watch this here video…everything you need to know about how to recognize a scott (there’s Robert DeNiro as the clark and some other guy as the roger).

 

 

* well duh!  this is the Wakefield Doctrine!

Share

“Enough of the theory!” the Wakefield Doctrine “…the real world, tell how it does us any good in the real world, holmes”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Hunter-Trader-Trapper 1937-06

Alert Reader Denise writes:

“…Doctrine! It has provided me with much insight into rogers. In a nutshell: they will always be the ones to say no. They will do nothing to disturb the boundaries, the lines that frame their world. clarks need to take notice of this. The sooner the better. I leave it in your hands, Clark, to explain to new readership the why. Maybe you need to write the answer in the form of a post.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And since we are talking about rogers**

Our Friend Zoe says to us in a Comment, she says:

“… my new roger is settling in to his new environment a bit too well… coveting my office…I loan my office out readily without reservation, but he made it very clear by saying ” I want that office… when are you leaving?” and has left telltale signs of his usage… I may have a rogerian twist and be a clark at heart… but never piss off my scott.

Sorry. The ‘damage’ is done.

Not to ‘baby-coat’1 our assessment, but you are witnessing a roger challenging your membership in the herd. How is that possible, you ask? The frickin guy got there 20 minutes ago and he thinks that he can include himself in the group? ( you say with not a little emotion). What gives him the right to try that?  If you are in possession of any of these thoughts, I hate to tell ya, but you have just painted yourself a lovely shade of blue2. It is totally ‘too late’.

Not ‘too late’ to make things right, restore the proper balance, achieve an understanding among the players in this little drama…. just ‘too late’ to avoid a ‘conflict’ with the roger in your environment.

If he had perceived you as another roger or a scott he would have:

  • presented his credentials, not to meet your approval but to allow him  to ‘tune himself to the herd’ (you know how the sound of cattle and herds of cows are often presented as a single  ‘MOO’  ?  well, I think our Progenitor roger will attest to the fact that what is heard as a single MOO  is, in fact, comprised as a harmony among the members… your roger probably started with presenting some of his history to everyone he came into contact with…to hear the pitch of his new herd)
  • presented his ‘soft-underbelly’ if he thought you were a scott (at least, a predominant scottian female)… but this observation is moot, because in that particular tango, the woman leads… (at least initially and to the extent that the average person is able to see

So… now you have yourself a roger feeling like he can enhance his standing in the herd by making you appear more and more the Outsider. Remember, a dominance move by a roger, in contrast to that of a scott is never made ‘alone’.  While he may appear to be addressing the matter of use of the office space to you directly, most of his efforts are actually directed to the others in your environment. rogers always work in the context of the group, the herd. It is this ‘contexting’ that rogers will base their strategy on, that and, be on the lookout for (him) invoking referential authority. ( Hey, I know you love your space..I respect that, but we were talking about how, with the practice growing we all need to work together more…”)

All kidding aside. you now have a problem that, interestingly enough, can be seen as a manifestation of the trap that would appear to an inherent aspect of the desire for self-improving oneself. You rightly know that you can ‘over-come’ this person’s attempt to reduce the quality of your personal work environment. But at what price? The Doctrine states that we all retain access to those two worldviews that are not our predominant worldview. In your case, (we hear you say), ‘ a clark with secondary rogerian and tertiary scottian aspects’. but…. but!  here is where the conflict begins to manifest.  (If) you are a clark, then your personal reality is that of the Outsider…which makes perfect sense given your situation. You can access your scottian aspect and inter-act with this roger as would a scott, and as we have already said, if this were a scott-on-roger thing, none of the the above would be happening.  So, you can dominate the roger rather decidedly. But then what?  Will you trade your predominant (clarklike) worldview for a victory in a single circumstance? Or… is there a way to reach an understanding with this person?   unfortunately, the Wakefield Doctrine says ‘no’.

Well, sorta. We’re playing with the words now.  clarks think, scotts act and rogers feel.  So, if you want to reach an understanding, you are out of luck. That is not to say that there is nothing you can do, but it should not be thought of as an understanding.

Lets return to a strategy we have previously offered:  ‘love your roger‘  This is still the preferred strategy, but it will require a bit more….finessing.  Yes, you should ‘love your roger‘,  but that does not mean (as is all too often the case with clarks), you must allow him to do as he wishes. But, to love your roger requires that you relate to him on an emotional basis… more than that!  you must regard him on an emotional basis. We’re using italics here to convey the idea that, if you are able to know him completely on an emotional basis you will be relating to him as a member of the herd. That’s right!  trade that lovely azure coat for a comforting wrap of brown and white spots!

(will continue later today…. )

Wait a minute!! If you haven’t seen it yet,  watch the scott and roger…. everything is right there. (the roger looking to left and right for the herd that is his context, his invoking referential authority, his offering of emotional currency…his love).

 

1) a rogerian expression of sorts… a fascinating characteristic use of language found only in rogers…here,  go to the page on rogers  down towards the bottom

2) a reference to the description of a clark in the context of a group, or perhaps it would be more realistic to say, ‘a clark in contrast to a group’ in any event, the term ‘blue monkey’ is a remnant of grad school days when we learned of (or came to believe that we learned of) an experiment in which one young monkey was painted (more likely dyed) blue and returned to his troop, you can imagine the result. In the Wakefield Doctrine we use the blue monkey image several ways, as a symbol of the innate outsider-ness that clarks exhibit when in a social setting, and it is also used to refer to (a) clarks self-sabotaging by make an extra effort to ‘contrast their differences.

 

 

 

Share

TMT Tuesday…”run around back, I believe you’ll catch ’em there” the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

images-36

Cheatin… the romance! the excitement! the rendezvous’…the regrets and recriminations!   cocktail lounges at noon, commuter parking lots, pre-paid credit cards, asking for ‘the Parts Department’ when the wrong voice answers the phone, Christmas holidays in motels…telling yourself that you have a right to be happy, believing that he is the only one who understands you, insisting that if your spouse really cared you wouldn’t be here, knowing that life is short and if you don’t take care of your own needs, who else will?

 

mixtape jenkehl 200

 

This mix takes me back to my very first mixtape post, I had no idea what would happen, I had three people play, but I did it for the love of it. Last week was a record breaker for me, with 45 mixes linked up! You guys rock! Literally. I want you to all know how much I appreciate you playing along, and how much fun it is to hear all of your mixes.

This week’s MixTape Theme is Cheating Songs.

It brings me back to a time when I realized that John Cusack and I were of the same mind. OK not really. Cause I don’t really know him, but today I found out that I am 2 degrees of REAL separation from him! One of my favorite librarians (cause we hang out at the library a lot) was friends with him in High School! Her best friend went to prom with him! Sorry. I am a little star struck, and like I said, I can’t help but think that we’d be buds if we met. Cause I really believe we think about music the same way. And this week’s theme “Cheating Songs” well come on.  Maybe he’s not the king of Cheated Hearts, but he certainly is the king of Broken ones. At least in the movies. And just incase you needed further proof of our kismetedness see that stereo receiver in the picture down there? The silver one? I have that. It’s the receiver I grew up with, and inherited to keep forever. Yup. We’re the same.

Funny about words, no? there’s: cheatin’,  cheating and adultery. All the same word. Since this is not a blog about the relationship, but rather about the music that is created to signify it, I will only say:  the older, more urbane sounding guys (our first two selections) do a much better job of portraying the conflict and the romance of (an) illicit affair. Billy Paul makes you remember why you enjoyed smoking and how exciting it can be to meet someone in a bar at 10:00am or park in front of Unit 4D (the last one in the row, farthest away from the rental office) and wait, hoping that the school won’t call because that would just destroy the mood.  The country rock and blues guys, on the other hand, pretty much make it sound like fun!  Compare Billy Paul to Johnny Winter  or Luther Ingram to Greg Allman.  In the interest of presenting a balanced view of  the results, consequences and, to use a modern term, push back, that may follow the affaires de cœur, we have Halestorm and Seether to remind us that nothing is free.

Following are songs about cheating, from the perspective of the cheater-to-be, the cheater-no-longer and hopefully pretty much all of the other 5 possible combinations.

 

Me and Mrs. Jones – Billy Paul

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Lovin you is Wrong I don’t Want to be Right – Luther Ingram

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Way Out – Allman Brothers Band

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Backdoor Friend – Johnny Winter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-iYKBm2Dvk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love Bites – Halestorm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Careless Whisper – Seether

Ok that should about do it for: the marriage, the happiness of the children, any possible chance for trust…but,  but!  you had to!! you have a right to be happy right now, right… it’s not fair is it?

Share