Month: February 2011 | the Wakefield Doctrine

7 Ways to Spot 1 of the 3 Personality Types of the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Sweeps Week is coming to a close, time for one more Post with keywords like personality theory and the euphonious clarkscottroger and to tie it all together, leave us not forget (that we are trying our hand at ) predicting human behavior. Is this, improvisational academia¹ at it’s best or what? God! I love a contest! ( Or is this a ‘challenge’…nah, more like an ordeal….heck with it, lets just call it our little secret).

As the authors of these Posts, we would be totally remiss in our duties if we did not spend as much time as possible reading articles and blogs on the subject of SEO and the effective presentation of ideas to the interent audience. Specifically, trying to learn new and better ways to present the Wakefield Doctrine to y’all. To this end, we have those little icons down at the bottom of each Post. Clicking on these allow you to ‘Share’ the Post with others on the internet. You can even do a facebook “I Approve of this Fine Post” kind of message (referral or whatever the hell they call that little thumbs up icon). In addition, we have been twittering (…tweatting?…twitterationing?) …sending out those ridiculously short, instant messages announcing each new Post. …there is a Twitter icon to the right, on this very page! Why don’t you just go ahead and click on it, send a message to @wakefielddoc.

In any event. the message of today’s Post simply is: Let us know what you think about our little blog here.

So, I was saying that we have one last opportunity (during Sweeps Week) to get the word out about the Wakefield Doctrine and I just read a blog that stated that one of the best ways to encourage Readers to write Comments is to write Posts that include ‘Numbered Lists” as a part of the plot ( ha, ha… the plot that really cracks me up! but then again it is 2:30am suppose it doesn’t take much…) Today’s Post will provide you with a numbered List of ways to spot clarks and scotts and rogers.
Oh yeah! Ms. AKH is making me write shit at these other blogsites… We are at a site called Yahoo Contributor and also some other place called Hub Pages…both of these sites have straight, serious article-things about the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. Nothing you don’t already know, but it wouldn’t hurt if you just click on the little links and see whats up over there. So, on with the main event! This is the part that (according to the blog I read) you hvae come here to read. The List of Ways to identify clarks or scotts or rogers.

List 1

any female person wearing more jewelry on her face or in her hair than any other part of her body….clark
the cashier at your supermarket who manages to get you talking about why you really prefer the frozen chick pea over the fresh…roger
the long-time friend that when you are invited (by other friends) to bring them to the party, you feel the need to explain how out-going they are and that they really are nice and will help anyone in a pinch…scott
the spouse who will visit a near total stranger in the hospital, alone yet has to be dragged to family celebrations including but not limited to Christmas, Thanksgiving, funerals…clark
the significant other who devotes more energy to a specific vocation/avocation than they do to their own frickin healthcare, yet guards it more jealously and with a higher degree of secretiveness than a former member of al qaeda (who has converted to Judaism) in a synagogue…roger
you feel that even if your friends wife made your friend promise that you would never be in the same room again, all in all it was a pretty good party…scott
you sit up at 3:05 believing that if you keep at, something amusing will occur to you and if nothing seems at all funny as you write it, that might be the indication that you are creating something that everyone else will find totally funny later, but you also recognise that you can’t take that too much to heart because that would decrease the chances of that happening…clark
(courtesy of DS#1) …extreme shoes on the feet, if you see a person with shoes that are the fashion equivalent of a totally tricked-out low-rider car, then you are looking at a.…clark

Now, the article I was reading is emphatic that to capitalize on this technique, the author should, at the end of the Post, ask the Readers if they have any additional items to add to said list. Which is kinda too bad, because it seems around here at the Wakefield Doctrine a lot of Readers are shy about offering their opinion on matters of the Doctrine. I admit that I have made jokes about Readers writting Comments that have been a bit less sensitive to the feelings of people, in particular the one about how ‘there are no stupid questions, just your questions’…( damn! loves that joke..)

Write whatever you please.² We will still give you a music video, even if you can’t add to our List of 7 Ways to spot a clark or a scott or a roger.

lol Somebody go call glenn, tell it’s safe to come back now….promise him he’ll like the next one…really lol

1) Totally give credit to the Progenitor roger for this little gem. ‘Improvisational academia’ does not quite rise to the level of full rogerian expression, those things are in a class by themselves! For a better understanding of these,Higgs bosons of the spoken word, go on over to the page on rogers or if you have your mind right, just go to the source, over at Gregory Campbells’ office. So you will be aware of what you are in for, allow me to cite a rogerian expression. (..written in a blog for real estate agents: “…and my opinion is that for the most part, people dislike real estate agents because they all too often come across as much too self absorbent“)

2) No, this does not apply to you, glenn…write what you would write on your little facebook page or wall or whatever they call it and you will not have to worry about your written words being adulterated by a librarian who, for whatever reason, looks like either Lenny Bruce or Bruce Jenner ( or was that Lennie Small).

3 Personality Types + 3 Money-Making Ideas + the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

A lot of ground to cover, so as we say in the backroom, “bring on the blockquotes!” We will try to make this brief, we have a small amount of material to spread out in a way that makes it look like a regular Post, so lets get to it.
You are probably saying to yourself at this moment, “Hey! I thought that the Wakefield Doctrine was a serious and thought-provoking blog, what with their totally cool take on the three personality types. I was looking forward to learning more about those creative, introspective, endearingly shy clarks! And what about more on scotts, which as personality types go, all I need to do is find my Jack Russell terrier. I enjoy reading this blog and learning how, the scottian personality types have the natural spontaneity, guile-less charm of a 6 month old baby. I even felt in the mood to read about those rogerian people, god knows they are all around and you can’t swing a sleeping scott without hitting two of them. So what’s up with the Get Rich and News Parodies?”

Dear Reader, sorry for the interruption in what you all have come to expect from the Doctrine. But, to step on my own lines, we are in Sweeps Week. And that means hits and ratings and visits and anything else that will convince the Powers that Be that the Wakefield Doctrine continues to be read by strangers and followed by fans.
So please bear with us as we will be doing one, maybe two more Posts that include keywords in the Title and ‘the content’ will be more focused on the amusing and be more relevant to the lives of today’s blog enthusiasts, (we will soon get back to Posts that make sense to no one other than the author and his 6 or 7 loyal friends who are like totally appreciated.)

So first to the Economy! Following is a Secret to Earning Quick Bucks…sure to be meaningful to those of you speed-reading blogs before they can cut off your cable service.

Blogging for money is another money making idea that actually works. Blog is a simple platform that looks much like a website. The only difference is that blogs are always updated with fresh content while websites are not. No matter where you live, in this era of internet, you can setup a blog within hours and start making money from it. By monetizing your blog with Google AdSense and Affiliate Programs, your blog will become a money maker for you. I know a decent number of people who are making money from blogs. I too make some extra income monthly from my blog and I advice you to start too. …unknown practitioner of the Wakefield Doctrine, probably some roger.

That was very helpful. Be sure to try it. Now on to our second feature Current Events!

Courtesy of Yahoo ( “where if the news doesn’t sound scary, we will make up titles and add pictures!”) News. The Wakefield Doctrine continues in it’s efforts to find the niche (stop laughing scott, you should have your mind washed out with metaphorical soap…or is that allegorical detergent… ) that will get us the kind of popularity that Mel gets over at the Spatula (motto: “well, Doctrine guys if you wrote funny and entertaining articles that would pass a 6th grade English composition test, you might get a lot of visits too…just kidding, luv you guys, watch for the Spatula After Hours, cable TV show coming soon!” )

But since this is Sweeps Week on the Internet, we will try one more News Parody, Doctrine-Style! Ripped from the monitors of today’s news sites….the Doctrine News for the People Smart Enough to Ignore all the News!!!

‘Jihad Jane’ Terror Suspect Pleads Guilty

PHILADELPHIA — A suburban, possibly endurban woman who was the live-in caretaker for her boyfriend’s elderly father, who now as a widower had to move in with his son, despite the fact that no one thought it was a good idea, calmly told a U.S. judge, who was filling in for another judge Tuesday, even though he was supposed to work on Thursday, last week that she had worked feverishly, but was sure to take aspirin and drink plenty of water online under the name “Jihad Jane” or as some of her friends called her, Crusader Colleen in support of Islamic terrorists, Muslim moderates and Arabian activists and moved overseas to further her plan to kill a Swedish artist, and part time student who had offended Muslims, amused Protestants, and barely got the attention of Catholics

Colleen LaRose, 47, but in person looks like a scary 37, faces the possibility of life in prison which tends towards the boring, after all what kind of life is it when your entire wardrobe is orange, after pleading guilty to four federal charges, including conspiracy to murder a foreign target, conspiracy to support terrorists and lying to the FBI, exaggerating to the CIA, dissembling to the Defense Dept. and making up stories to the Mossad.

LaRose, who spent long hours caring for the father, also was building a shadow puppet life online from 2008 to 2009, unless you count the time the computer was offline, which it was a lot, the internet provider was so bad you really should consider it 2008 and 2009 and parts of 2010. According to prosecutors, LaRose “worked obsessively on her computer, spending months at a time in Farmville trying to communicate with, recruit and incite other jihadists, until she realized that her crops were being sabotaged by “facebook friends” using screen names including “Jihad Jane,” “SisterOfTerror,” and “ExtremeSister4Life,” “Happy2BHere,”.