Month: May 2010 | the Wakefield Doctrine

it wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop, but there a guy sat, two stools away

May 26, 2010 By clarkscottroger

I was meaning to tell you about the success of the Post that came out Monday but we got side tracked by that “24” thing. (btw, talking with DownSpring#1 right after hitting ‘Publish’, yesterday morning. She say the night before was the Season Finale of that very show. Ain’t synchronicity grand?)

Anyway, we are declaring the Monday Post (…”hey, did anyone else just hear something”… ) a complete success, as the only Readers that wrote a Comment in response to it were scotts. Since the goal was to write for (one of the three specifically) and scotts were my target, then its…”A is for apple, binyons”.

But alas,that is not the topic today. Today the topic is:…”you really want to know how seriously we take this Wakefield Doctrine?”
The photo above on this page…came across it by random, probably a part of an ad for some genealogical service that is so pervasive on the ‘net. Anyway, saw the picture, about to click forward, but then thought came into my brain, “alright, what (or more appropriately, who ) do have here in the family portrait?”
The answer: 3 scotts, 2 rogers and 1 clark.
Even though this Post is supposed to be about rogers, stop at this point, take a minute, look at the photo and pick out the clark. (Hint: no, not him, close, nice guess, but nothim…keep tryin).
(At this point I would ask you to write a Comment, but I don’t think you will. Afraid of being wrong, I hear. I understand…even though you are telling yourself that this blog is funny and maybe this particular Post is all really silly… you are still afraid of looking stupid. I do understand, I realize that you are not afraid of me responding to your Comment with something like: ” Here is a stupid answer”, that is not what you are afraid of. What you know would be awful would be a follow-up Comment such as: “…now here is a good effort…unfortunately missed by this much”. Now that would hurt. So I do not expect any Comment, it is not that important, seeing how I do sort of know what you are thinking… (no, I really do know…) (hey, sorry, don’t care if you believe me or not, just the way it is), go ahead…don’t let the cursor hit you in the ass on your way out! lol)

So rogers are all over this picture (above). Rogers love the family units, or more precisely, they love the idea of tradition and history. The photo shows history and implies history, and the people are the herd. This will be the Wakefield Doctrine lesson for the day. The question is not why the herd, that would be like asking why does the night follow the day, answer: hey, it just does.
The useful question is: if the herd is the most important thing (to a roger) then how does one make a roger want to do things. As we saw in Monday’s Post, there is a way to speak to scotts that will not only be heard by the scott, but will be irresistible. (Damn, not being clear, sorry).
Let’s try this: you have all heard about the supersonic whistles that only dogs can hear, right? Well not only can they hear them when you cannot, but they (the dogs) cannot resist them. Blow on the sucker and Fido is all, “OK OK what? WHat do you Want?! Are we gonna do something? HUH?! HUH? (picture Warner Brothers/Jack Russell-type…hell with that, picture the dog below bouncing 3 feet in the air over and over in front of you..)

…I know…I know and I apologise! How the heck did we get back to those scotts? This was to be a Doctrine lesson on the herd and rogers, instead we are looking at photos of dogs. Pretty damn cute though, no? And sincere. That is what dogs do so well, they are sincere and direct, not an ounce of artifice in their bodies. Now at this point, cat people might say that dogs are kinda simpletons, non-ambitious, not nearly as cool as cats are…well, write a Comment and I might take your opinion into consideration. Back to the scotts, people are drawn to them for the same qualities, the directness and un-complicatedness. Unlike rogers.

I think I have driven around in supermarket cart type circles quite long enough for one Post. If you are a new Reader, check some of the featured Posts or even the Archived Posts (In the “Read ’em and Sleep” pulldown, over to the right there, under the map). That’s the whole magilla, Wakefield Doctrine-wise.

Given how all over the waterfront this Post has been, let’s just see what we come up with for a music thang…

…in keeping with the Edward Hopper on the front page…(love the painting ‘Nighthawks’, and there is something scottian about it).

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: humor, Personal, personality types, the Wakefield Doctrine

keep on pushin, straight ahead

May 25, 2010 By clarkscottroger

So we succeeded with yesterday’s Post in writing in a tone that only scotts could read it…

what is written in these Posts must be lost on the other two. Today we are writing to one of the three today, and tho’ there is no need to say which of the three ( clark or scott or roger ), there is only one target.

A “24” themed Post? What are you talking about??!

(6:03 am) wtf! cut it out! you got to think this out!!…

(6:04 am) ok not stop it…sure a cool idea, write a Post in real time with the clock ‘ticking’ like in the show “24” ( …hey I don’t believe you have ever watched the show!… ) cut it out! if we are going to try this we don’t have time for asides done by virtual high school students (…virtually brilliant… ) yeah I know.

(6:07 am) god…this sucks. A good idea, I admit but why waste it with a “I thought of it and therefore I have to do it now…” jeez how about a little preparation, hey for that matter how about a little respect for a good idea, (…lol how about a little speed-typing lesson…lol) no? alright lets do a set-up, thats allowable, isn’t it?

(6:09 am) OK heres the deal today…Post written in real time…one hour (…counting the time for the coffee…and does that include spellcheck…?)

(6:10am) I was going to write about yesterdays Post. In fact you will see a clip of it at the top which is referencing the idea that I was writing to one of the the three (clarks, scotts or rogers) and the measure of the ‘sucess’ of the Post would be measured by “who” wrote a Comment. Well, I would like to say that we have a winner

(6:13 am) hey, thats not too bad, the time thing is slowing down, I surely can finish this and get my spellcheck done and find photo….(shit, I forgot the find a photo, damn)…don’t get nervous…back to exposition for now…

(6:15 am) The Winner: scotts….no, actually the winner is your damn writer…lol there..if you had any problem that (yes, I know you get it, clark but for the other two you gots to spell it out) the Post (yesterday) was written to appeal to the scottian Reader…this mistaken reference to the scott the center of attention, as opposed to the fact that the credit and therefore attention should be on the clark who actually wrote the fuckin thing…

(6:17 am) ( ok you need to start worrying about time…you can’t go past the 3/4 mark writing ’cause you so have to edit this thing.) (damn what happened to Janie? I thought she was going to carry the “aside” portion of the this Post.) And you having never seen the stupid show, you had to go and try to latch onto another “clever” hook, meanwhile you are running out of parentheses…

(6:20 am) And so while we should be spending today’s Post analyzing why yesterdays’ Post was so scottian, instead we will be trying to finish this weird-ass “24” tribute thing. Thanks glenn and Ms. AKH for your Comments ( AKH’s actually came in the Sunday Post, but I know it was prompted by the (scottian) Monday)….stop! what are you doing rambling on about yesterdays’ (…I’m back…there was an episode of the Simpsons where Homer was in a steak eating contest with some other character…before the contest starts…Homer sits at the table…really nervous and starts eating the bread at the table (Marge to seal the joke says, “stop filling up on bread”….see I can tell a joke”)

(6:25 am) Damn. Better go get some photos…and have not even thought about music…(Mr. B!!! I need you to go and get something with a “time going by too fast” theme from our youtube “partners”…and Janie…photos…think photos…I want everyone back here by 6:44 to wrap this thing up!!)

(6:38 am) damn!!! time to edit and pull this thing together!!! Mr. B?? you all set? What do you mean, “Trust Me”,? thats kind of what got you into the minor supporting role you find yourself in, isn’t it? Fuck, there are those who would maintain that it should be the theory of clarks, scotts and barrys, (…not very catchy! lol I have the still photos!!…) Alright lets just focus on hitting ‘Publish’ at 6:59 am, ‘people’! (…hey!! what do ‘you’ mean…’people’…)

(6:41 am) And in conclusion, we thank our scottian Readers for reacting so clearly and un-equivcalbly (…lol…the spellcheck will cost you more time than the word is worth…) for demonstrating that it is within the body of knowledge presently contained in the Wakefield Doctrine to “craft the message” to one or more of the three types, deliberately…

(6:44 am)…time to wrap this up people…!

(6:47 am) where are those ‘stills’?

(6:55 am) OK everyone! last look and last type…thanks for your co operation in pulling off yet another tfw Post…Hey Slovenianss your Romanian brothers is in da house!!

(6:59 am) in 5…4…3… … …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnuYhFRYbAw

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: clarkscottroger, humor, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

hey, did anyone else just hear a bell?

May 24, 2010 By clarkscottroger

The Wakefield Doctrine maintains, that since there are three types of people, experiencing three (fairly) different realities, then what is written in these Posts must be lost on the other two. Today we are writing to one of the three today, and tho’ there is no need to say which of the three ( clark or scott or roger ), there is only one target.

This Post has something that you want, it has something you need and it has something that will give you an edge, today. If you read all of this Post, you will agree that the knowledge you can get from it is worth more than what you have to give for it. Guarenteed. And I can prove it to you.

You are skeptical at this point, as you should be. Yeah, everybody makes claims for what they are selling and they are all lying. But this is different, this is something that you can prove to yourself and you can do it right now. What I might sell you is a tool.

This tool will not make you better at what you do.
This tool will not get rid of bad habits.
This tool will not make you popular.
This tool will only help you do what you already want to do…

If you answer a few simple questions, then what this new skill will do for you is cut down on the distractions in your life…
…you do have distractions in your life, don’t you? You do want to have less distractions and more time to do what you enjoy, don’t you?

Then here is what you do…

At the bottom of this page, right below the music video, is a place to leave a Comment. Go there now, you can come back and listen to the video later…

Answer the following questions:

a) of the three types, the most reliable/the one to have at your back in a fight is:
b) of the three types, the one most likely to already have your back is:
c) of the three types, the one that is the biggest pain in the ass, the most trouble/least fun is:
d) if I could change anything about either of the other two I would:

Alright…done.

(the mandatory Wakefield Doctrine lesson in this Post is), we know that we all have the complete range of qualities of all three (clark, scott and roger) and at the beginning of life we are most likely able to see the world from (the) different viewpoints. As we “learn to live and deal with the world” we become more and more habituated to one of the three. As we see the world through the eyes of (a clark or a scott or a roger) the world becomes more and more the world that a (clark or a scott or a roger) would find themselves in. Nothing fantastical in that, we just see the world a certain way and our ways of living are appropriate to that world. (“…come back little scott! come back!” ) lol (“…run roger! ruun!!…”)

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

it’s Sunday boys, ain’t no time to waste

May 23, 2010 By clarkscottroger

(Skipper and Gilligan of the Reformation)

So I’m floundering* around this morning, totally without a hint of a clue of a direction for the Post to begin to start in… so I start with sermons, i.e. templates for writing sermons. There are quite a few sites with resources for preachers needing help writing sermons, read a few and I must say, coming to the aid of their fellows in the Ministry there was some pretty good shit. This one guy he say, “Remember that the subject is not the purpose and the purpose is definitely not the subject.” (Walton Marsh). Walton, dude! Thanks for the directionalization. So I moved from there to free sermons…ideas basic biblical licks. I wish I had gone to these sites back in the day when I was trying to learn to sell stuff. This one guy, Glenn Davis does a real fine job outlining “outlines” for sermons. The one I liked the most was:
1. What?
2. So what?
3. Now what?

We certainly hope he does not mind us ‘paraphrasing’ one of the suggestions on his blog. But is a help for me going forward, trying to write these Posties.

But that is not what I ended up with, instead I was reading some preacher guys list of free sermon topics (Craig Webb) who cites a guy (Steve Andrews) who gives us a bunch of stuff to sermonize about, but one of them he tells this story about, no, let’s let him tell us where today’s Doctrine Post originated from, (steve?)

…”the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany where Martin Luther nailed the historic 95 theses to the church door. Inside the church, I was surprised to find two burial plots in the church floor located between the front pew and the altar. One tombstone was Luther’s. The other grave was for Phillip Melancthon. I knew Luther. He was the hero of the Reformation. Luther was a fiery preacher and scholar who inspired a national revolt against the abuses of the Catholic Church.

Who was this other man? Melancthon, I later learned, was a powerful force of the Reformation. He served behind the scenes. Melancthon was a frail, short man, and he stuttered when he spoke. He was Luther’s closest friend. He provided tremendous scholarship and assistance for Luther’s New Testament translation. When Luther died, Melancthon delivered the funeral message. A few years later, the soft-spoken scholar was buried beside the famous hero of the Reformation.”

(…I know!…I know the topic!!…) So something about this little story struck me and I (…a clark! he was a clark!! ) yes, Miss Sullivan, you are correct. Would you care to continue for the Readers? Maybe I will not be given quite as much jail time if I can claim that my virtual (…virtually perfect!… lol) student was the one who used the information I found ‘out there’…

(…well it is quite the story…everyone knows about Luther and the Reformation…no, Jimmy…I mean Martin Luther…anyway he was totally famous but it seems he had a clark, feeding him the good lines, organising things…so you know what that makes Luther?…yes he was!!.. so following is some quick notes about this clark who sounds like that Steve Buscemi guy but back in the Middle Ages…)

The German scholar and humanist Philip Melancthon (1497-1560) was the chief systematic theologian of the early Reformation and principal author of the famous Augsburg Confession of 1530

In 1530 Melancthon took on the task of answering the growing Catholic criticism of the increasingly fragmented Protestant sects. Keeping before him the idea of eventually reconciling all Christians, Melancthon presented a statement of Protestant doctrine to the emperor Charles V at Augsburg in 1530 (…the Augsberg Confessions) in which he attempted to unite all Christians in a series of fundamental beliefs. Melancthon was bitterly answered by Eck, and his later efforts to reconcile Catholics and Protestants were rendered futile by Protestant sectarianism and Catholic intransigence. In 1529, however, he mediated between Luther and Huldreich Zwingli at the Marburg Colloquy and, in 1536, between Luther and Martin Bucer in formulating the Wittenberg Concord. “If I could purchase union by my own death,” Melancthon said, “I would gladly sacrifice my life.”
…But he was not qualified to play the part of a leader amid the turmoil of a troublous period. The life which he was fitted for was the quiet existence of the scholar. He was always of a retiring and timid disposition, temperate, prudent, and peace-loving….his limitations first became apparent when, during Luther’s stay on the Wartburg, 1521, he found himself in Wittenberg confronted with the task of maintaining order against the Zwickau fanatics… What Luther accomplished in a few days on his return had proved impossible to Melancthon.
…Melancthon died on April 19, 1560, his hopes for reconciliation of the Christian Churches not fulfilled to this day.

WTF?

Sorry, I just sort of stepped back and read this here Post here? My oh my! are we drifting somewhere? But, unfortunately my time is running out…time to go and earn money to support my little blog jones.

So the Wakefield Doctrine lesson today is (to) look in the background and you will find the clarks… screw that! here is the real message:
“…hey clarks…forget about it…it will not help…give up any/all hope of working around your problem..of trying to get acceptance through other people..never has worked, never will work…who in this “room” right now (not counting clarks or professionally religious rogers) ever heard of Phil? Damn, I didn’t think so…”

All this just makes it more necessary that we get the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) in front of more people. There are so many lives that are being wasted, so much effort and creativity…wasted. Must not waste lives trying to ‘work around’ a world that you (clarks) think that you are not a part of…

Music? oh yes…music…

*(1590s, perhaps an alteration of founder(q.v.), influenced by Du. flodderen “to flop about,” or native verbs in fl- expressing clumsy motion. Related: Floundered; floundering)

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

so gangster, I’m so thug

May 22, 2010 By clarkscottroger

…”Does this rock make me look fat?”

(Sorry, that phrase lodged itself in my mind since I took the photo…yeah, non-borrowed content!) But it gots nothing to build a Post on, does it?

…Found it*! Everyone knows that it is all about the visuals/videos for me…to illustrate the types, just watch one. Now since I can’t come to you and walk around and point out the clarks, scotts and rogers (at least not yet…)

Hey! what do you think about a travelling seminar on the Wakefield Doctrine? I mean really, cable television has actual 30 minute long infomercials and PBS (don’t get me started on those rogers), but I’ve been hearing more and more ads on the radio for programs that “will change your life”, just send for the free DVD and find out how you can “feel better, be better, blah, blah, blah (improved stamina) better”, just because the person on the radio says that she can help you…but only if you pick up the phone. (Here’s an odd little aspect…on the radio (where it is voice only, of course) the pitchman is usually a woman, on TV it’s a guy.)

Doctrine Pop Quiz (…” heyyy, you never said anything about a quiz!!” ) don’t worry, real easy.
Question 1: These women pitchmen (sounds better than pitch women or pitch person or pitch thing) are all of a type. Which of the three are they likely to be?
Question 2: If it is in a purely visual medium, TV or what not the pitchman is just that, a guy. Which of the three will they almost always be?

Take your time…I’ll wait…don’t over-think it. (Hint: your first guess on the first question is correct, but your first guess on the second one is…wrong! Sorry, just the way people are…you have another 90 seconds…(so, would you pay to see?…wait, let me answer that…you would pay a “second time” to see a scott and a roger but not a clark, however, the first time, you might pay to see all three…)…times……up! Put down your pencils/fingers!

Honor system, let’s check those answers. Britney? ( …”err, (damn…where is that wi fi) Yes? me? 42!” ) No, sorry Britney, Literature is next period. Miss Sullivan? (“…scott and roger!”) Correct! Does anyone want to tell us why? …alright then, it will have to wait until next week.

…back to (*Found it! from up above)… I found the film clip that is a totally un-mistakeable illustration of a scott (and a clark). Here watch:

David Caruso in Mad Dog and Glory – The best free videos are right here

What is the deal with clarks and scotts? good thing I’m so secure these days or I would be getting totally Ed Sullivaned by the representation of the clarks (in these examples of scotts) DeNiros not a clark, is he?

So, what did we learn today? That female pitchthings are almost always scotts and “on camera” pitchmen are nearly always rogers. (except that Sham Wow guy, jeez just a little scottian, no?)

The ‘why’ of this is totally easy as to the scottian women (I’m sure Ms AKH will be happy to enlighten us on that…) but the preference for rogerian males is a little more difficult. Any volunteers?