…”Does this rock make me look fat?”
(Sorry, that phrase lodged itself in my mind since I took the photo…yeah, non-borrowed content!) But it gots nothing to build a Post on, does it?
…Found it*! Everyone knows that it is all about the visuals/videos for me…to illustrate the types, just watch one. Now since I can’t come to you and walk around and point out the clarks, scotts and rogers (at least not yet…)
Hey! what do you think about a travelling seminar on the Wakefield Doctrine? I mean really, cable television has actual 30 minute long infomercials and PBS (don’t get me started on those rogers), but I’ve been hearing more and more ads on the radio for programs that “will change your life”, just send for the free DVD and find out how you can “feel better, be better, blah, blah, blah (improved stamina) better”, just because the person on the radio says that she can help you…but only if you pick up the phone. (Here’s an odd little aspect…on the radio (where it is voice only, of course) the pitchman is usually a woman, on TV it’s a guy.)
Doctrine Pop Quiz (…” heyyy, you never said anything about a quiz!!” ) don’t worry, real easy.
Question 1: These women pitchmen (sounds better than pitch women or pitch person or pitch thing) are all of a type. Which of the three are they likely to be?
Question 2: If it is in a purely visual medium, TV or what not the pitchman is just that, a guy. Which of the three will they almost always be?
Take your time…I’ll wait…don’t over-think it. (Hint: your first guess on the first question is correct, but your first guess on the second one is…wrong! Sorry, just the way people are…you have another 90 seconds…(so, would you pay to see?…wait, let me answer that…you would pay a “second time” to see a scott and a roger but not a clark, however, the first time, you might pay to see all three…)…times……up! Put down your pencils/fingers!
Honor system, let’s check those answers. Britney? ( …”err, (damn…where is that wi fi) Yes? me? 42!” ) No, sorry Britney, Literature is next period. Miss Sullivan? (“…scott and roger!”) Correct! Does anyone want to tell us why? …alright then, it will have to wait until next week.
…back to (*Found it! from up above)… I found the film clip that is a totally un-mistakeable illustration of a scott (and a clark). Here watch:
What is the deal with clarks and scotts? good thing I’m so secure these days or I would be getting totally Ed Sullivaned by the representation of the clarks (in these examples of scotts) DeNiros not a clark, is he?
So, what did we learn today? That female pitchthings are almost always scotts and “on camera” pitchmen are nearly always rogers. (except that Sham Wow guy, jeez just a little scottian, no?)
The ‘why’ of this is totally easy as to the scottian women (I’m sure Ms AKH will be happy to enlighten us on that…) but the preference for rogerian males is a little more difficult. Any volunteers?
About clarkscottroger
Yes, they are definitely scottian women. All pretty and smiles and “oh you’ll love this product! I do…” They’re sirens drawing you to the dangerous cliffs without you even knowing it.
Woops… At any rate, I suppose the strong nature of a scottian woman might be too much for television. But if they were they’d still be sirens, using that alluring side that they possess to draw you in. Don’t always have to be over the top. Sometimes you catch more bees with honey or whatever that saying is. (Where do “sayings” come from anyway?)
As to the rogers, they are calm. It is that lack of hype that makes the viewer more comfortable. “Hey, I kinda like this guy… maybe he’s on to something…” They can identify with the guy (as opposed to scottian viewers who get too distracted- they’re the “channel-surfers”. But I digress…) I’ll be back later. Can’t seem to focus.
Scotts want to dominate. Roger want to affiliate. Affiliative just comes across better on TV. On radio–you have to be loud–you have to cut through the background noise–as only a scott can do. I like the marketing idea. Do you have the technical know-how–and the capital? I could be a goodish sayer of things—if you want..I remember the scene from the movie. In fact I forgot the movie, but always recalled the scene. Notice how the scott is actually smaller and scrawnier than the guy. Didn’t matter. He had the swagger. He did not care. The swagger alone convinced the DV guy to back down. Most DV guys are rogers anyway. They beat their women because they feel wronged and victimized by them–and therefore justified. See him begging to be left alone? “Come on! I’m on the job..” The scott says”You’re not sweet are ya?” Beautiful. Scotts are magnificent sometimes, if I do say so myself. I’ve actually done things like this. A kind of crazy switch gets thrown. You don’t care what the outcome is–only what happens in the moment you’re in. You get right up in some tougher dude’s face and you spout. And he backs the fuck down. Every time. You can see the wheels turning. He figures he doesn’t know exactly how crazy this fucker is. Could end up being messy. Better just get out of there. You can’t go around doing it every day. That IS crazy. But if you pick your moments—you’ll never fail. If you’re a scott. DV??? (Domestic Violence) Hitting a woman is never OK–unless you’re both enjoying the hitting. That’s a different deal. But physically dominating a woman or a child is weak. The act of cowards. Guys who do it are usually big pussies anyway. All tough on the outside–soft as puppy shit on the inside. So, in closing. Fuck you.
Elegantly stated, as we have come to expect, glenn…with the added benefit of being on the mark. It is the threat of the unknown that gives the power to the scott (in the above) situation. Like the honey badger, ( a damn varmint what’ll take on anything, they just don’t care!) (secret of the universe warning!)
Ms AKH…totally correct. Mel (Spatula) did some Posts on TV pitchwomen with special attention to the Rosetta Stone pitchbabe, he had a theory about satin blouses and saleswomen…
Jump to an alternate timeline….EVERYONE knows of the Wakefield Doctrine and the prinicples of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. The power is taken from the scotts, the secret is out of the bag. What then?
Worldwide readership today. Poland. Studley, England. The doctrine is an international phenomenon. Hi, Poland. (Did I say that too fast for ya?). Hey, Studley! Love the name of your town. Sounds real macho. But, my question is…why do all British talk like fags? Just sayin’….