relationships | the Wakefield Doctrine

Tuesday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘if everyday of the week were Tuesday, there would be no wars’

March 17, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

No! I’m actually serious. Consider your day right now. You’re over the strain (for some the assault) of the beginning of the workweek… you’ve given up your hold on the weekend. You have your job, you have your classes, you have the home-to-make tasks… and, maybe for just today, you kinda think you can handle it! Hell, there’s a good chance that you’ll find yourself, maybe not enjoying it, but at very least, having a good feeling about what you do during the workweek. And the people you work sit by side with/ sit in class alongside/ talk to and instruct and raise into adults they’re not so bad today, are they? We all have workweek days and we all have weekends (maybe minutes at a time, maybe a lifetime’s worth), but Tuesdays are the day of the workweek and when what we do (during our workweek) looks and feels and gives us the most of what we thought it would when we started out, new in the job/first day of class/infant brought home to build the family…

So, if the world could just make itself see everyday as a Tuesday, there would be no wars.

What does this have to do with the Wakefield Doctrine? a lot…

(I have to interrupt myself, this and the previous Post this week, were started at my usual time of day for writing Posts, i.e. 5:30 am, however, today I thought to try to complete the Post(s) in the later morning. It is now 5:30 pm so I need to wrap it up. What’s interesting is that when I write about a Day, it is the day (yet) to come, not the day that has passed… I suspect I may need to work on my scheduling.)

… a lot and nothing. The Wakefield Doctrine is not an answer, it is, however a very cool set of questions. And, even as a set of cool questions, it is not the implied answers, (to these cool questions), that is the value of learning this thing of ours, it is the process of asking… that is where the benefit of the Wakefield Doctrine can be found. Simply put: every time I use/play with/look through/use as a inter-personal Cliff Notes/ or otherwise use the perspective that the Doctrine offers, I learn something about myself. There’s an old saying, ‘every window is a mirror’. To use the Wakefield Doctrine is to accept yourself, (the good qualities and the ‘oh-no-way-I’m-like-that‘ parts); when you set out to see the world as the other person is experiencing it, you will run into yourself. But that’s a good thing….not always comfortable, but good.

what time is it?

…oh! oh! vidchat this Friday…. we usually start at 7:00 pm (which as we all know is ‘are you still awake British Meantime’) but if anyone knows that they will not be able to join us until a later hour… lets us know! Adjustments and accommodations will be made.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, predicting human behavior, relationships, self-development, the Wakefield Doctrine

Moanday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘a fifth below or a fourth above’

March 16, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

( courtesy of zoe and her friend )

Now we’re getting ‘old school Doctrine Post writing’. Today’s subtitle? On the way in to my office, the local college radio DJ was describing an Ella Fitzgerald ‘record’ (Ella sings Duke or something, I’ll try to find it and play it), and as he was reading the liner notes, he said, ‘…she sings a part that is a fifth above (the melody line) or a fourth above.’ I have no explanation why that phrase ended up as today’s Post Title… part of being a clark, I’ll assume.

…speaking of being a clark, of late I’ve been wandering in the wilderness a little, post-writing-istically speaking, wondering if I still had the energy and enthusiasm and all. But then, at the end of last week, a flurry of Comments and Replys relating to the vidchat and the Dark place (of clarks) and this followed up on the weekend with a conversation with a clark who, though he never heard of the Doctrine, picked up on the principles totally without hesitation (yeah, it’s almost axiomatic that clarks take to the Doctrine like a dog after a duck). In any event, these events brought home to me what I have known all along (but tend forget), and that is, the key to writing Posts is/are the Readers. To be a little more specific, the key is my understanding and appreciating the Readers that are out there (with questions and curiosity and enthusiasm for the fun and uses of this rather cool perspective on the behavior of the people in our lives) when I remember that this Wakefield Doctrine is for them, not just me, then I feel the fun and excitement that’s been a part of this blog thing from the very first Post.

ya know?

…now I gots to find that Ella Fitzgerald tune so the subtitle can make sense to the rogers out there (clarks are creative in terms of music, but when it comes to technical virtuosity… you really need to find yourself a roger.)

So, with Post number 1301, I believe I will start with the basics and see where that takes us.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: psychology of personality, relationships, self-development, the Wakefield Doctrine

TH -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘this is half the Post that was in my mind when I woke this morning…’ (to be con’td)

March 12, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

We’re going to talk about change and self-improvement for a little bit.

One of the original ‘teaser statements’ of this blog was, ‘with an understanding of the Wakefield Doctrine, you need never again hear yourself say, “how could they do such a thing? I really thought I knew them better than that!” ‘.
We stand by that statement to this day. An understanding and application of the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine, will allow you to know more about the other person than you have any right to know. The Doctrine is very, very useful in the effort to better understand the people in our lives. (Provided, of course, that we have a desire to better understand the people in our lives! Sometimes people take up with personality theories and the like, simply because they want another way to make the other person act differently. Sometimes that is a worthy goal, say, when the other person is trapped in some self-limiting or even, self-injurious behavior and other times it is a selfish ambition, when you hope to make another person conform to what is best for you. In neither case will the Wakefield Doctrine be of any use.

We have a saying, ‘the Wakefield Doctrine is for you, not them’ which means that there is nothing you might learn and/or understand about the Wakefield Doctrine that will make the other person change.* All we promise about the Wakefield Doctrine is that you will have one more perspective on your world, one more way to better understand what the other person might be experiencing, (that accounts for their particular behavior). But you can’t make ’em change (“oh honey? I know you hate to go to my family’s barbecues… it says here that you need to be more rogerian!! honey?! you’re not listening again, are you? yes, I know you can repeat every word I just said… but, but oh my god!!! It just dawned on me!! you’re…..a……clark!!!”)

that last little italics passage? that’s the Wakefield Doctrine.

the other people in our lives do not always share a like (or a dislike) in everything that we do
while it is natural to want the other person to share the things that we find enjoyable, it does not always happen…
trying to make another person view a thing positively, as opposed to negatively…. especially the interpersonal things family and friends and such, is almost always futile
understanding how the other person in our lives experiences a situation is 90% of understanding why they behave a certain way
when you use the Wakefield Doctrine to better understand the people in your life, it is a certainty that you will learn more about yourself

So we know that we can’t make people change how they behave… let me rephrase that, until we can experience the world as the other person is experiencing it, there is no way we’re going to be able to influence that person’s behavior. The Wakefield Doctrine is a way to be able to ‘see the world as the other person is experiencing it‘, and when we can understand how the other person is relating themselves to the world around them, only then will their behavior make sense. Not more to our liking, necessarily, but more understandable.

So, if you’re still reading, you are one of those people who have a desire to understand the world more, rather than less. Hell, I’ll go even further! You’re the type who enjoys imagining things that may, or may not actually, technically be…real. But the real quality that I’m finding in the Readers of our little personality theory that makes all the difference and, sets you even further apart from the masses is this: to have the confidence-in-self, the self-assurance that creates stability as opposed to insecurity, to be able to imagine that the other person is experiencing a different reality. You may or may not be surprised at how difficult that is for most people. ‘yeah, we were both standing there and she said it didn’t bother her‘ ‘I know how well I explained my I had to leave the situation, and he still wants to know why I can’t understand why he yelled at the waiter‘ ‘no matter how often I explain to them that there is nothing to be afraid of, she still refuses to enjoy going to school‘

Congratulations on making this far in a rather… ramblistic Post.

* actually there is… it’s just way, way beyond the scope of this Post or, for that matter, my ability with the written word to describe…. ask me a direct question and I might give it a shot

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, psychology of personality, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

-the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘I almost cut and pasted a post…*’

March 11, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(* whats the word for, when you take some famous saying and change it slightly, not paraphrase… parody…nah, not quite that anyone?) Well, now that I’m walking out on stage, suppose I better start with something more enticing than this!! I will resist the urge to go full-on stream of consciousness, though it seems almost unavoidable these days when writing Posts. I should not be so surprised. It’s not just that our (collective) understanding of the Doctrine is constantly evolving and developing, but my personal perspective on this ‘writing of a blog’ changes as well.

change there it is! The Word of the Day. ( “I know you want to make a statement and you’re creative, but if you want to get that job today, don’t you think you should change…maybe a little less metal on the face and head?” “No, I understand but why is it me that has to change?” “I’ll change somehow, I’ve got to, this can’t go on like this forever….can it?” “no, don’t leave, I’ll change! but you have to tell me what it is you want that’s different.” “no, keep the change” “The results are in and there’s been a disturbing change…” “the tests are back and there is no change’ I’m sorry” )

(whew!! while that last was fun, for a second I was staring at the screen and thinking…. ‘these people know so much about the three personality types, what can I tell them that is new and therefore will further enhance their understanding and use of the Wakefield Doctrine (lol thank you Kristi for not spitting your coffee out at the screen at that last statement! rogers and clarks are a little bit apart when it comes to the inherent value of the novel)

I’m feeling the tugging (and, paradoxically a ‘pushing from behind’) of my workday demands, so I better hurry up and complete this Post. The Doctrine maintains that ‘everyone does everything at one time or another’, which simply means that there are no (or very few) things in life that are of the exclusive domain of one of the three characteristic worldviews. Put more directly: anyone can be a Teacher (or a Plumber or a Prostitute or a Politician, for that matter)… it’s just that ‘how these occupations manifest’ in each of the worldviews is where we should direct our attention. a clarklike Teacher will clearly perform his or her job differently than would a scottian or rogerian Teacher. And that’s simply because in the world of the Outsider, the role of Teacher represents something entirely different than it does in the world of the Predator or Herd Member. (now, before someone can say, ‘well sure! everyone is different and these worldviews are interchangeable’ lets keep in mind while anyone can do anything, some worldviews result in a manifesting of the occupation/interest/avocation/whatever…. better than others! So, to use our original examples:

Teacher a clarklike teacher will tend to be be suited/resonate best/bring their fullest self to the job if they are teaching elementary grades (that is, if they’re clarklike females… clarklike males will tend to gravitate to the older end of the student demographic)…. rogerian Teachers: middle and high school; scottian Teachers …wherever their appetite takes them**
‘Successful’ Plumbers are often rogers, because the worldview of the Herd Member includes the fact that things fitting together in a consistent and reliable way is the Highest Good
Politician: here you want to bet on the roger…. not that scotts don’t make good leaders (they don’t, but for a different set of reasons than apply here), but scotts lead by their individual attractiveness/charisma, while rogers lead by causing other people to believe that they (the Politician) is the best representative of their most valued…. er Values.
…. we don’t have to tell you who the ‘best’ Prostitutes are, do we? lol

What’ all this got to do with ‘change’? Simple:

clarks see change as hope and they fear it as being proof that whatever they have acquired or earned (through their efforts to become like the people they believe they are not) is not deserved
scotts view change with suspicion… living on instincts and understanding (of their world and the prey and other predators that make it up), they will adapt when necessary… because it is part of the simple life of surviving and thriving
rogers… the only good change is the predicted change a change that has no precedent is anathema and will be shunned or ignored… maybe attacked (if it affects enough of the local herd) change that is predicted… that will be embraced and honored and offered (by example) to anyone who interacts with the herd

Hey!!! before I go!! Friday the 13th Vidchat!!! (yeah, I know!!!) I personally invite you, the Reader, to join us for a fun and informative evening of stimulating….something 7:00 pm EDST Write us a Comment and ask us, if you do not know how to join us. Lizzi will be there and Ivy (tbfkaz) and Denise and Michelle and a bunch of others….

Lets go old school and stick in a music video in this scrabbled eggs of a Post:

** a little Doctrine humor…best ask

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, psychology of personality, relationships, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

TT-oh-NineT -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘of hats and heads, cows and coughs …and 1:00am’

March 7, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(sshh… it’s 1:06 am Saturday. Una and Phyllis are asleep and I have a cold. As Readers familiar with our little blog know, having a cold does not, in and of itself, per se… factotum (lol no! does not even approach appropriate use!!), it (the cold, not ‘the use’) can have elements that are interesting. Now, the coughing part…not overly fun or funny, the convulsive shivering when the chills hit, that can be fun (fun, strictly in the sense of ‘hey! lets go on the roller coaster…it’ll be fun!’ Now, the fever… that definitely has potential. It’s not that clarks, as a people, require a lot of help to see the world-askew, but the effects of a fever (mild, nothing that require ice baths, or worse, alcohol rubdowns!! ayyiieee! I totally remember having that happen when I was about 5 years old. 2 am and my parents decide that my temperature is getting out of hand (don’t really recall… 102 or 103 or something) anyway, it was the 1950s and everything was closed at 2:00 am! so out comes the rubbing alcohol. An amazing combination of sensory inputs… lights too bright, both parents awake and acting a little too concerned and the smell! is there anything that smells more like a hospital than rubbing alcohol? I survived to grow up and write about it.)
As I was saying, a fever can bring a certain sense of quiet frivolity, a lessening of the normal filters on what I might say to co-workers and clients and such. At moment, the fever seems to have abated, the cough has subsisted (rogerian expression…lol). So, up and at the Computer.)

Item 4 (this will make sense later). Friend of the Doctrine Val quite graciously sent multiple photos of her Wakefield Doctrine hat that she took to the Tropics! How very cool. Not only that, but she sent a set of photos from Aruba and a set from ‘Anti-Aruba’, USA! I suspect that you will be seeing more of this fine cranial fashion ware in the coming days. Thanks! Valito!

Number Five: Una who is in the photo on ‘the cover’ of today’s Post. (I believe that, if you visit through the link on a host’s page, you do not get to see ‘the secondary photo’…that’s the thumbnail that appears in the blurb (blurb??!! what ever made people think that the word, ‘blurb’ should be used by anyone other than a 4 year or a 14 year old boy? yes, I will go find out! wait here… ok here’s the link

Number Six…. the damn internet! come on! you know that link in the previous item, the one about the etymology of the term ‘blurb’? well, not only is it interesting (most of us here have some part of our souls invested in writing Words that Others Will Read and Enjoy/Be Moved By)…. but when I look up the image of the fictitious woman from the story, I got this:

I trust you can blow it up or print it or otherwise make the thing readable… totally worth the effort.

Number Seven: I am grateful that it worked out that I could leave work early enough to take Una for a car walk. And we went cow hunting! (My admiration grows for you people, Christine and Kristi and the others who do those very clear and well laid-out photos). I even used my real camera!

Number 8: I am more grateful than you can imagine for writing Number Seven… because I mentioned using my regular camera, it made me think about how I changed the normal settings… specifically, I upped the resolution and turned off the Date/Time stamp. That’s as it should be, but… but! I just remembered that I better remember to restore the settings! Because I so rarely change the settings, I might very well have gone out today on inspections only to end the day with useless photos!! (inspection photos must be date stamped). Damn! nice bullet dodge.

Number Nine: the cow of the Week. omg!! we have a tie!!!

10) wait!! we have to do 1-3…. which is a video!! hold on!!

(hey! it’s not even 2:00 yet!I might even be able to upload this in the morning (the real, people morning, not 200 am morning…) (well…actually it’s 2:08 time to finish this Post so I can go and lay in bed and dream of newspaper Taxis and hope to dodge the ‘fever creeps’* this time.)
(* you don’t want to know…well, fact is, you do know, but there is very little amusing about ‘fever creeps’…. so I’ll just let it go at that….)