relationships | the Wakefield Doctrine

‘…of donuts and men (and women)’ -the Wakefield Doctrine-

August 18, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(so you’re thinking, “well there seems to be an awful lot descriptions and concepts to learn with this Wakefield Doctrine personality theory! Why should I go through all that effort, all those other systems have simple personality types with cool initials and they even have tests and quizzes to tell you what kind of person you are or your boyfriend or your parents are… why do I need to wade through and ‘learn’ this stuff? Which by the way, is not all that well-organised in this blog, you know?”)

…so I walk into the local Dunkin Donuts this afternoon, after spending the day inspecting some listings. As I step through the half-swinging door, I see that there’s no one in line at the counter and the only people in the place, (besides the kids behind the counter, each of them talking out loud to voices coming from their headphones, oddly though, they’re sharing their half of the conversation with the only people in sight, me and a couple at the table in the corner… (“sorry we’re out of glazed donuts would like a chocolate frosted?“). I glanced very briefly to my left as I walk up to the counter, the couple are seated at ‘9 o’clock and 3 o’clock’ at a round table, a young man and a young woman… short dark hair, good posture, facing the window and long blond hair, shorts and talking…respectively. As I stand at the counter, waiting for my coffee and (plain) roll, I decide, ‘what the hell! even though they will spot me, I think I’ll take a better look at these two’ and begin to turn towards them. Before I’m even half the way around, I note that I hear only her voice. (As I continue my pivot), I see that he is sitting back in his chair (with his back towards me) and she is not… but it’s her face that makes the greatest impression on me. And no, it’s not her attractiveness. Hell, she was young and attractive, which is, of course, totally redundant, if, that is, I might indulge in being unintentionally offensive. No, what really caught my attention, was the ‘open-ness’ quality of her face, (and shoulders and head) towards, (but not directly at) the young man across the table from her. She was doing all the talking, but I could hear, since there was no one else talking in the building, (except for the modern day food-priests taking confession at the drive-up window “…a dozen donuts and a 2 frapacinnos, that’ll be 7 dollars and 43 cents, my daughter. god be with you.”), that not only was she posing questions, she would at a variety of times, pause and provide possible answers, and he just sat there.

I thought to myself, I thought, ‘She’s a clark and he’s a roger… too bad, she could do so much better.’

…because of the fun of that! That’s why it’s worth the tiny effort to learn that all people relate themselves to the world around them in one of three characteristic ways:

as would a person who is (an) Outsider. clarks are those who grow up and develop as people who realize that everyone (else) appear to have an understanding of the world that they (the clarks) seem to have missed. clarks try to blend into the background (note I did not say, blend in to the crowd… that’d be impossible) and observe and try to learn how to be a real person
like a Predator (scott) relates, which is pretty simple: live now, if something chases you, chase it back, if you want something, do something about it, if there are problems that seem to have no, or worse, contradictory solutions… chase something! make noise, be noticed, act!!
much as would the Member of a Herd, which is how those with the personality type referred to as rogers do, you start with the knowledge that there is a Right Way and, even if you believe that you are not 100% certain of what that means, you know for a fact that there are a lot of people without even a clue (to what that means), and if you can show them, all the better. Emotion is all, feeling is the highest form of reflection and if you can’t believe that others like you believe it, then it doesn’t count.

That’s all for today.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, psychology of personality, relationships, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

Friday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘hey, let’s lighten up a bit, it’s still Summer…sort of’

August 14, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

It’s still Summer (sort of) and it’s time to get back to the topic that is the sole reason for my being in the blogosphere, the Wakefield Doctrine!

Through the kind auspices of the bloghops that I participate in (all too few!) I am meeting and otherwise coming into contact with a lot of new readers and (writers) of blogs, I thought it would behoove me to write about everyone’s favorite personality theory, the Wakefield Doctrine.*

the Wakefield Doctrine proposes that reality, on a certain level, is personal. Nothing dramatic or outlandish, no secret powers (‘…well, we haven’t totally given up on that’), no ability to change and transform the people in our lives (‘…but, maybe we need a definition of ‘change and transform’), and, no matter what, you can’t command others to do your Will, just by wishing it were so. The Wakefield Doctrine says that this personal reality, (we refer it as a ‘worldview’) is a part of all of us. We’re all born with the potential of all three, at an early age one, (of the three), becomes our ‘predominant worldview’ and that’s how we can say there are three personality types in the whole world.

What? too brief? ok… the 3 worldviews:

clarks the world of the Outsider: creative and inept, shy and intolerant of being ignored, ‘…clumsy with great reflexes’
scotts the Predator: every frontman in the world, the female at the family picnic mostly likely to be heard saying, ‘do you think this bikini is too small?’
rogers the Herd Members: the people who are most social-able and (yet) prone to insisting on being exclusive, outgoing and thin-skinned, the people who the 37 page manual for your Toaster is written for (‘remember to not prepare toast while immersed in water over your waist!’)

What? No! no surveys or tests… you must be thinking a real personality type system… you know, like the Oscar Meyers Briggs (motto: “hey! here’s a bunch of letters and some general descriptions, knock yourself out! fortune cookies got nothing on us!” )

oh…kay one last insight:

you know how a lot of personality theories have categories and ‘most-like-you’ descriptions? The Doctrine takes a different approach. We say: personal reality is real. the child in the world of the Outsider is, in fact, in a reality where they are Outsiders… (same with scotts and rogers), so, as a child you’re developing and learning ways to cope with and thrive in the world around you. That’s what we think of as personality type: the set of behaviors and strategies found by the individual to be the best, on the whole, for getting through life. So if you can observe a person (or yourself) and understand how that person is relating themselves to the world around them, then you will know their predominant worldview, which means you’ll know their personality type, and that means, you’ll know more about that person than they know about themselves.

…I’ve said too much! oh, yeah, if you learn the worldviews of the Doctrine well enough, you will never again need to hear yourself say, “How could you do such a thing??! I really thought I knew you better than that!”

* if you read the previous post and you know me, even a little bit, the ‘could I get anymore stiff and formal and third-person passive voice in my writing?’ is not lost on you as the ole pendulum swinging back… lol

and for music

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: personality types, psychology of personality, relationships, self-development, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘Wednesday late, Thursday soon’

August 13, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Zoe (aka Ivy) at Uncharted has this thing, ‘Six Sentence Stories‘ which is fun for anyone who enjoys reading and/or writing a blog, which is you, because here you are, at the end of the lead-in sentence. You could have clicked through, gone on to something less…personally challenging, I don’t know, something like www.eloise’s-crocheting-for-sensual-satisfaction.com or http://cars-and-broads-sensitivity-training.org (a really popular government-sponsored public health website).

Speaking for myself, I’m glad you decided to stick around. You don’t even have to write a Six Sentence Story, (‘though that would be really cool, if’n you did!’). This is a blog for those who like to learn and be amazed and amused at what the skillful arrangement of words, (along with some punctuation), can produce.

…at the sound of the match being struck, the inside of his eyelids began to glow, like a flashlight under the bedcovers of a child attempting to continue reading past the darkness imposed by adults.

“remember, you promised, one candle only“, holding his hand up, tears of light cast on his shadowed face, “only one.”

She knew he meant it, she knew that the fear was beyond her reach, and, as much as she projected a worldly confidence, knew that there was something different about the night ahead, ‘Seeing how you’ve known him for, what, a week? you’re acting pretty darn confident’, her thought filling the silence created as the wind, which had been blowing for the last two days, suddenly quieted, accentuating the flickering pool of candlelight that brushed the walls of the cabin.

“I did promise and I won’t do anything that would hurt you, but you need to trust me. Now take off your clothes‘, her voice, connecting the shadows of the walls to the candle’s single point of light, filled the space between them, a command and an invitation.

He lowered his hand, eyes learning to see, in the newly created light.

…and the wind began to rise.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Personal, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine, Understanding Human Behavior

Tuesday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘…in search of an August 11th Post’

August 11, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

So, I was looking for a re-print Post to er… post, today and thought, ‘hey! lets go get a previous August 11th post, because it would be relevant!’ (New Readers? I’m a clark, so there is a valid logic behind that thought process, it’s just that it’s kinda hard to explain. Unless, you’re a clark, but then, if that were the case, there would be no need to explain. Lets let it go at that, shall we?)

Much to my surprise, I found that there never has been a August 11th Post in all the time I’ve been writing the blog.

now there is.

The photo above is of our first dog, Ola. (As photos go, it is one of my two favorites. Both the one above and the one below tell you what kind of dog Ola was, her temperament, her intelligence, her attitude and, most of all, how she felt about being in a pack with Phyllis and me.)

She was everything good that dogs (can) be and she was everything that I could have hoped for in a life-form to love.

Funny. Of the Posts I’ve written over the years, the ones that are about Ola (or Bella or Una or, even Phyllis) are usually the Posts that generate comments from people who otherwise do not comment, they are comments about how wonderful a dog she must have been and how much I must have cared for her. And while nevertheless accurate, this ‘reflection of a relationship’, tells you more about me than I could ever tell you directly.

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: psychology of personality, relationships, self-development, self-improvement, the Wakefield Doctrine

Sentences? …√ Six of ’em? √ a story? ….a story?! -the Wakefield Doctrine-

August 6, 2015 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Today is a Six Sentence Story Post. Presented by, Friend of the Doctrine zoe, the Six Sentence Story challenges us to take a single word and write a story around it. And the story must be Six Sentences long. No more and no less. It’s fun! …just like taking Miller Analogy Test was fun, like going on the first blind date was fun, like being asked to make the toast/give the eulogy/respond to a friend’s desperate plea for help was/is fun.

“I’d like a little time to think it over, if you don’t mind,” her tone was pleading, the look in her eyes challenging, just a blink from confrontational.

“No, no! I want you to take your time, it was never my intention to make you feel pressured! Take as much time as you need!” resentful, the look in his eyes: fear.

“As long as you know that, whatever happens, I’ll always love you” she said with an urgency that belied the resignation that seemed to echo the words, standing with her back to him, looking out over the patio to ocean.

“I know and I’ll never forget this” he said, a failed attempt to cover the thought, ‘…or forgive myself’.

“Madam, Monsieur? Your table is ready,” the maitre d’ spoke with an air of assured command that served to welcome, apologize to and re-assure many an impatient guest.

“Please accept our regrets over the mix-up with your reservation, I assure you everything will be just as you had hoped.“