the Wakefield Doctrine

Hey!  this is the Doctrine, the Wakefield Doctrine.

Not for nothin, but if you’re spending a lot of time reading blogs…I mean reading, not playing scrabble and doing homework and or porn and whatnot, then you need to do change things in your  life. ya know?

I’m not saying that any of this is bad or escaping reality or nothing. Sure  people enjoy writing blogs about their kids and dogs and flowers and shit, it’s just that it’s all… I don’t know…made up.  Online’s ok and all for what it is…  I come here, so it’s got it’s place.  Yeah yeah,  I know all about having free time on your hands and just needing a chance to think… don’t get me wrong, that’s all kinds of  great  I’m all for thinking inside your head and daydreaming…when you’re standing in the shower!!   But when there are other people awake somewhere in the same building with you? I got one word for ya, ‘real life!’

Yeah. The Doctrine is a tool and all. And it’ll help you get…smarter or more emotional or anything else you’ve talked yourself into believing you need to be more of…or worse   you let somebody else talk you into.  Sure you mean well, they mean well… every fuckin body means well. So what?  Here’s how simple this Doctrine can be: if you have one any of these second string or third base or whatever the hell they call the next runner-up personal skills  they ain’t getting stronger by your thinking about them. Yeah  even you scotts who might be reading this thinking that something hot or   sexy’s gonna happen online what with all those people showing up to Comment. Nothing like a friendly game of scrabble at 1am to get their guard down, am I lyin?   Hell, they want something more or they wouldn’t be coming back and all.

Pretty simple, isn’t it?  here’s the deal…best advice you get all day that won’t cost you a thing. If theres people around you talk to them, pick a fight, try to get laid, read to your kids, tell your boss to go fuck himself, get out of your own goddamn way for once. You ain’t gonna live forever.  You want to know how simple it is?… sweating up your arms at the jazzercise class is better than staring at your thighs in yoga class… running up and down the court and screwin up your knee for a week trying to keep up with the young punks on the court for 15 minutes is gonna do you better than  6 days of adult night classes in ‘Pampering your inner guy-minus-the-hormones-that-make-life-seem-worth-wrecking-innocent-bystanders-lives-f0r’, at least it will when the time comes and you’re lying on the ground for the last time and you hear the Doctor standing over you  say to someone who is not you,  ‘has anyone called his family?’

Life is going on now… no practicing your lines to get it perfect…no second matinée where you know you can really get into your part…

turn off the computer

…unless you’re at work.  or the kids are finally sleeping for their nap… then  come on out into the internet!  come out and play.  Remember god invented ‘delete browsing history’ for a reason. use it. just ’cause you have fun, doesn’t mean your spouse or your boyfriend or the girl you’re helping do her homework at the library, or your kids are gonna say, “hey! nice ‘abs and forearms’ site, honey!”  or “sure, anyone would find the history of bestiality in Summer Theatre compendium interesting, dear! I applaud your intellectual curiosity”

HEY! maybe it’s on the internet and all but at least it’s REAL PEOPLE in the here and now…. join us at the Wakefield Doctrine Friday Night not-a-date-but-better-than-staring-at-TV Video Chat  tonight at 7:pm  EST  (if you’re confused about what that means or how to do it….get in touch with Lizzi  she’ll get cha a guest pass.

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Hey! got a minute?

You heard about that vid chat we had here at the Doctrine last Friday evening? Well, I’m of a mind to do it again. (You know what they say, ‘if it’s worth doing, it’s worth over doing) So how does Friday at 7 pm EST (note! earlier time… Lizzi will be calling in her pajamas as it is…but damn, weekend night or not, girl needs some sleep) hows that sound to you?

Hey, you people ever stop to think that these  DocVidChats are, in essence, live blog Posts?  well, they are. I think that this is a perfect example of the clarks and ‘the arts’  I will save my reasoning until Friday…

In the meantime, here is a reprint Post that I really think you’ll enjoy.  Don’t forget,  ‘you’re invited’  (questions and such, write a Comment we will totally hook you up).

(Hey!!!  Melanie!!  come on, it’s a Friday night!! you can sleep late in the morning…. your virtual friends is all gonna be there…)

(following an excerpt from a Post appearing on October 27, 2010)

‘Wakefield Doctrine Field Guide’

( …”so if we establish the outward more obvious characteristics”… )

Oh, hello!  Did not see you come on line…be right with you  ( …but the “fun factor” got to find a way to present the damn fun of this thing… ) just one more aside and we can get today’s Post started ( …good frickin job there, you just telegraphed your last remaining hook… goddamn it… ) Let me just try and put this little journal down. There.

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)!. This week we are starting to present the whole Doctrine in a simple, logical and easy to understand manner.  ( …sure keep up with the asides…is there nothing you won’t resort to in order to get through one of these Posts?…they know what you are doing, they ‘get’ it, dude…this is so over done…)  Yesterday we started with a clark, as subject of discussion. But let’s keep with the topic a little longer… ( …’cause they are sooo interesting. )

clarks are the creative ones and as such…

( …Hola Miguel, ¿qué pasa con el director Clark? No se ve tan bien, y creo que él está hablando a sí mismo … vamos que el hallazgo señorita Sullivan y Britney… )  ( …man! are you so totally shameless!   roll out the ‘Spanish exchange students’, just to keep this Post limping alone? )

I believe I was suggesting that we continue to look at the personality of clarks. Hell, since this Post insists on slouching towards ( …Yeates, I can’t frickin believe that you are so desperate to get done that you will pad this thing with a literary allusion that a sophomore high school student would be too embarrassed to use… but hey, who am I to criticize ) Well, let’s get the words on the page, put in some pictures and get the hell out. ( …the way this thing is going you are likely to pander to the scotts and put some frickin childishly exuberant music just to draw a reaction. )

Ahem! as we have said before, the clarklike females are fairly easy to identify. Outlandishly dressed, creative with the make-up (with special attention to the face/eyes) and to a woman,  something fairly strange on their feet. If you are trying to identify which of the three types a person is and you are thinking possible clark, then concentrate on their eyes.  (The eyes) of the female clarks are quite distinctive, mostly in an unmistakable ‘not-of-this-world’ intensity. Often (and unfairly) characterized as either the ‘ditsy broad’ or  ‘snooty/aloof/what-does-she-think-she-is-too-good-for-us?’, the clarklike female projects this image simply because they are distracted. A state common to all clarks, there is simply so much going on inside their heads that they barely have time to keep track of what is going on in front of their noses. If you find yourself  talking to a clark, watch their eyes. If you pay attention, you will see as (mentally) they go from topic to idea to implication to ramification (back to the conversation taking place) to how to conclude the interaction to implication…etc  ( …they get it! stop with the word salad… )

In the spirit of turning this train wreck into a valid Post about identifying clarks, let’s cut and paste some of the characteristics (found on the clarks page) and get some music and get out… after all there is a real world out there and it is totally full of clarks, scotts and rogers. And there is nothing more fun than going out there and seeing the Wakefield Doctrine “demonstrate itself”.
New Readers? It might seem difficult to figure who is which today, but take our word for it, this Doctrine thing is a lot of fun.

 

Just to get you started, here are some photos of known clarks  

or  or maybe       …ok, we’re sure you get the idea, now get out there and find ’em!

(DS#1 says we should stick with the ‘topic’ of female clarks) because they are out there in the everyday world and you can spot them with only a little practice. And who are we to disagree with the DownSprings? (the DownSprings are the life of this Doctrine, whatever they want they will always get), so let’s try to come up with a “Field Guide”:

Wakefield Doctrine Field Guide

scott (male):   picture that Tasmanian devil on the cartoons……or Joe Pesci in all of his movies
roger (male):  they’re frickin everywhere, water cooler? check…Fireman? check…look for the easy-going comfortable smile, inviting conversation…
scott (female): Ginger on Gilligan’s Island, the green chick on Star Trek (the 60’s version)
clark (female): read the damn Post! you can find the clarklike females
clark (male):  the office geek except without the marketable technical skills, probably near-employed, very funny, usually interesting (in small doses) cannot do enough for any person who merely recognises their existence, never mind actually be nice to them
roger (female): tough call under the best of circumstances, examples Kathy Bates, most wholesomely attractive women (with an agenda), think Carrie Nation in SUV…

There you  have it, the Wakefield Doctrine  Field Guide (to spotting) clarks, scotts and rogers.

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Did you know that there are (only) three jobs in the entire world?

Did you know that (as Cyndi astutely pointed out in yesterday’s Comment) there is an association between worldviews and astronomy (sorta).

Did you know that, (this is for the benefit and to serve as a warning to the Doctrine’s newest, ‘oh, they’re-not-that-weird-once-you-get-to-know-them’ friend, Kate), that once you become capable of distinguishing the three personality types among the people in your own personal world, there really is no turning back?

It’s true.

Teacher, Salesman and Machine Operator.  These are associated with clarks, scotts and rogers  (respectively).  attendre

1. Teacher. clarks.  those who go through life focused on knowledge, the discovery and understanding (of) and transmission to others. a clark’s manner of persuasion usually takes the form of attempting to get the other person to understand the benefits and advantages they’ll enjoy once they embrace the new way of knowing how to: clean up your room, conjugate a verb, play nice, get along with others, be yourself, seduce that boy, getting out of trouble, not feeling anxiety and get that girl to go to bed with you.  this ‘occupation’ is not always literal, but when it is: female clarks, excel at being elementary grade Teachers and male clarks: high school (history or science) and college level teaching
2. Salesman. scotts  the true salesperson builds upon your own desire(s) (i.e. hope of gain and the fear of loss), but the ultimate (and intimate) aspect of sales, and therefore, of salesmen, is found in ‘the close’. that is the moment that the scott, sensing what you really do want, steps into your world and takes hold of you (you have your hand out already, whether you can admit it to yourself or not) and says, “hey! come on!! it’ll be fun!!”  “hey!! lets see what happens when we pull this fire alarm“, “aww, you look like you need a hug“,  “I’ve got a surefire way to make some money“, “you’re feeling hurt and scared, screw that lets do something!”, “you’re crying!… that guy over there?! wait here”  a scott will sense the weakness of the other person and, as would any predator,  will take advantage of it…not to hold you captive, but to eat you. this ‘occupation’ is not always literal, but when it is: male scotts can be found selling cars, IPO’s corporate takeovers and get-rich seminars, scottian females: selling you on providing whatever it is they need at the moment.
3. Machine Operator. rogers. those who live on the basis of the orderliness of the world. because whether it is that way for us clarks or you scotts, thank god we have rogers to take advantage of the magic of nature which includes but is not limited to: accounting (for them 2+2 is frickin always 4), chemistry (have you ever seen that show about the technology of taking crude oil from the ground and turning it into a 1000 different useful products? all they do is build these refineries and put oil in one end and get gas out the other… no way!), engineering (same thing…it has been said that if you asked a scott to build a jet airliner the result would be a plane with five engines, racing stripes, stewardesses wearing bikinis/stewards with chipendale physiques and the pilot’s window would roll down so he could lean out and yell at the plane in front of him for not landing faster) and the judicial system (where that frickin 2+2 still equals 4) the interesting part lies in an overlooked example of this ‘occupation’:   musicians. technically advanced and proficient, including but not limited to symphony orchestra members. they are Machine Operators  (free docTee to the Reader who can convince the rest of us that you know why certain musicians are Machine Operators.) (Here’s a Hint that will also illustrate the ‘everyone does everything’ principle: Jimi Hendrix/Teacher, Al DiMelo/Machine Operator, Brian Johnson/Salesman  got it?  easy peasy)

Everyone good with that? Questions? Comments?

Remember:  ‘everyone does everything at one time or another’  this means that no human action, desire, avocation, inspiration, work ethic, sex act, disability, religious belief or menu choice is exclusively for one  the three personality types. It’s all about how these things manifest within the personal realities/worldviews of  the Outsiders and the Predators and the Herd Members

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Today is Saturday. Like a long ago day, when one morning of the week always started the same way (I’m thinking cartoons and cold cereal), Saturday morning (now) means a TToT Post. Fun (in a frustrating way*), satisfying (in a non-self-conscious way) and a way to put a positive outlook on the day ahead (in a low-key, emotional-tone sort of way), it has been my practice to wait until the morning to start to write my first TToT Post. Occasionally, I’ll go and see what is already out there for Posts (which is a gamble, sometimes there’s a ton of Posts up already and worse, if I read them, I get all, how-the-hell-do-I-keep-up-with-this-standard-of-blog-writing.) So here goes.

This Saturday morning I’m quite deliberately not reading any of the other Posts, for reasons that: a) are alluded to in my list and b) might give me a fallback for tomorrow’s Post. Ya never can tell when you might need a spare theme to launch a Post from, know what I mean? In any event, I’ll come back and edit if it turns out that there is something going on that is clearly stated in the other Posts that I should be doing this weekend. (Makes me think of the time, 6 years old at a birthday party, in the middle of the festivities, I came across a little tray of what looked, for all the world to my 6 year old eyes, like candy… little round, pastel, carved shaped things. So I did what any normal kid would do, I popped one in my mouth. It was not candy. It was decorative soap. So I did what any normal 6 year old clark would do, pretend that there was nothing wrong, wait way, way longer than necessary to say I needed the bathroom and went in, closed the door and calmly feeling very embarrassed (yeah, I was alone and still felt like that… I did say I was a clark, right?) spit it out.  Hey, who wouldn’t have?

Speaking of parties…you’ll find a couple of Grat List Items referring to the Wakefield Doctrine vid chat last night… more on that tomorrow, fer sure.   Time to head out to work.

lets get right to it.  This week is easy,  I’ve been muy appreciato for:

1. …a total surprise, in the mail appeared an envelope (see above) from England!
2. got through the otherwise fairly stressful workweek…only today to go to finish it (the week) lol
3. my toaster
4. we had a Vid chat on ‘the hangout’ last night, very cool people were there, I will resist the temptation to list everyone as ‘individual List Items’ however, I will say thanks to: zoe and Denise, Lizzi and Michelle and …. Kristi(!) and,   ….and!  Christine … very cool thing to do.  Not just the conversation, but you know how (most of us) include an item on these lists about the technology that lets us connect with people that we otherwise would never in a million years encounter otherwise? last night was a little like sitting in a roadside diner and you overhear the people at the next booth say something about blogs and you find out it is one of the people you know only from the internet.  like that   very cool**
5. (you know what’s weird?  it’s when you’re talking to someone ‘in virtual person’ like last night’s vid chat and they mention someone’s Real World name, and you’re like… “who?  oh!  you mean!! so-and-so”  lol… personally I like the blog names that I know the people by, when they mention their real name, I get a funny  feeling, like when you were a kid? and you’re in the supermarket on the weekend and you see your teacher?  and you’re like… ‘err what are you doing here in the world?”
6. …the weather in this part of the planet (southern New England) had a relatively mild week, made all the more enjoyable (in a rogerian way) by the horror of extreme cold being experienced by a lot of the rest of the continent
7. grateful I don’t live with Friend of the Doctrine Molly (aka Seven Ravens on ‘the Facebook’)  in one of the big, square states in the western part of the country, gots to be freezing, except they tend to enjoy that kind of climate
8. Michelle!   for two reasons, which I will count as one: a) she assured us that there was a Saturday (in Singapore which is 13 hours and one whole damn day ahead of the rest of us!)  and 2) it being morning, where she was last night took us out for a walk in the park and a quick stop at a coffee shop… how Jetsonian is that?
9. Lizzi for keeping this ‘hop possessed of a continually changing dynamic
10. only 2 weeks until Summer!!

* not bad frustrating, more like, yeah!-this-is-gonna-pay-off-big-later-on, frustrating

** oh man! I apologise!! what an old fart I’m turning into….  that analogy?  scratch that…instead  “…it was a lot like, you know how you go out to clubs and go from one to another, you see some people at one and maybe end dancing with one or two people but then lose track of them at the next club and then it’s the end of the night (around here  lets call it 2:30) so you go for breakfast at that all night dinner with the stainless steel siding? and who do you see come in but!!  like that***

*** much better