the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

At times, in the course of writing this blog, a comment will appear that, while intended as a response/reaction/rebuttal or rant, is of such a nature as to form the basis of a new post. Our friend Cynthia, to name just one, has a certain penchant for such commentationing.

So, this weekend, there was, as usual, a TToT post. Josie has continued the tradition of the TToT quite effectively, so much so that we are seeing an increasing number of new ‘faces’*. And, of course, the usual gang of writers, tellers of tales, and, of recent time, travelers. I refer, of course, to Friend of the Doctrine, Kerry.

As has happened increasingly of late, I was short an Item or two for my TToT. I wrote on the Facebook a plea for help. Kerry graciously consented, wrote a comment (for inclusion as an Item on my Saturday post). And therein hangs our tale. (Or, at least, the ‘theme’ of this Monday post). First, Kerry’s Comment:

Sounds good. Let’s all, three of us, all go to dinner together. Love your ideas

And, sure, I’d love to offer up. I have plenty of those Mexico stories. I continue to be thankful for that trip every day. Any in particular you’re looking for?

The mariachi serenade in the park? I already wrote about that experience and submitted it for consideration of an excellent Canadian literary prize. I love to eat rose petals and crickets. I am thankful for all the food I got to eat and the people I got to meet. I love to find a rhyme in and amongst my thankfuls.

***

Huh. Hmm. Where did my comment go? I told of stories from Mexico, per your request, but now I am rewriting.

Thank you, Kerry! I recall the mariachi story, but the ‘eating rose petals and crickets’? Now how could I have missed that!  (lol… hold on a second… hey! Kerry’s text to audio app! that last sentence, the italics??  remember: sarcasm comes in many tones. In this case, the tone is one of, ‘I know how I might have forgotten the image of insects ala carte, however there is admiration overlaying the sarcasm… got it?  fine. carry on’)

OK, I’m back.

One of the things about Kerry’s comment on her comment (at the Doctrine) that resonated with me was notion of re-writes. For whatever reason, there’ve been a couple of instances in the last week in which I wrote comments (and received comments) with a significant delay. Over at Jo’s Fallen Angel, for example, I kept not seeing my comment register… speaking of the Wakefield Doctrine

lol

(yeah, there really are no situations, (in life, virtual or real), that cannot be enhanced with the application of our favorite personality theory.)

In any event, whenever I do that, i.e. write a comment, hit publish, come back a few hours/the next day, to read replies and see that my comment is missing I have two immediate and nearly simultaneous** reactions: a) ‘oh man, they’re gonna think I’m blowing them off, reading and commenting only on a few and still looking for them to comment on mine’ and 2) ‘maybe my comment was deleted…blocked even! should I write another comment, which, if it’s my computer messing up, will at least let them know I wrote one or just back out of the room quietly and maybe everyone won’t hate me.’

Did I mention that, in the parlance of the Wakefield Doctrine, I’m a clark?  lol  yeah, good thing I  have this here personality theory here, otherwise I’d be way more reclusive this Monday morning than normal.

Well, time to go, Thank you, Kerry! Not only for the comments, but for the post starter-thought.

*  for example, there’s Patricia, and her eponymous blog¹ ‘Patricia’s Place‘  who has joined in the TToT conversation and added a quietly insightful voice

1. just wanted to see if I could use the word and get away with it

** will offer this question to our more rabid Doctrine aficionados, (I’m looking at you Denise, Cynthia …. Lizzi!!) which of the two reactions comes first?

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Why is a coffee mug like a writing desk?

no, I’m serious… Readers of the Wakefield Doctrine can easily imagine how good/pleased/(I’d say delighted but fear that would sound… I don’t know, a little X-Chromish) I felt when, upon Phyllis’ arrival home the other night and said, “Did you know there were packages on the porch. I think one is the clothes I ordered…”*

Well. I came up the stairs, a rectangle box that  was littered with slogans and icons of LL Bean in one hand, and in the other, a cube of styrofoam. Not exactly a cube, more of a decahedron of styrofoam. I looked for a return address and finding none, walked out (through the French doors in the dining area) to the deck and scanned the trees surrounding the house.

There was a cup inside the cube decahedron. And the cup is,  well you can see it above. It is a lot like the first mug and undeniably quite different.  Let me show you:

…that’s how a mug is like a story.

Thank you, mug-fairy(s)**

(Best be careful in them trees, hear tell there’s some snow in the future for them of us in New England)

*  note: I always come into the house through the garage, which is sorta under the main living area and so will hardly ever notice parcels or packages on the front porch. I put a photo in the ‘cover photo’ for this post. You can kinda see the design in the photo

** no, I totally agree, not a major risk of that term gaining traction in the world of fun surprise anonymous gifts of coffee mugs that contain a secret story.

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Up way too early. Work and writing, neither wanted to go to bed last night. And, yeah, that wouldn’t be the worst thing, the worst thing was that both (work and writing) was just in my head. All of the bad and none of the good, oh well, what’cha gonna do?

Re-print an old Post?

Well, I don’t mind if I do! Not the same level of satisfaction as writing new content, but better than looking at ‘the Facebook’, which is getting kinda old (‘except for the Gravity Challenge! that’s a whole ‘nother thing. If you want to watch your weight and would like to do so in the company of some interesting people, come on over to the Gravity Challenge! We’d be glad to have you join us. Easy as can be. Every day we take a photo of the readout of our scale(s) and send it in, whereupon I post it to the aforementioned Facebook. Pretty simple, isn’t it? (Oh, btw, we have what’s called Kristi’s Rule. It says, any portion of that readout you care to send in, works fine. The Challenge is about the change, not the number.  So click here.)

reprint from a few years ago:

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of personality that you get to enjoy with your friends and them, before it gets all famous and mainstreamy and everyone will know about it)

Question: If your husband is a roger and you are a clark, is it true that they never accept how much you have changed over the years, since you first met?
Answer: Too true¹

(Welcome to ‘ya shoulda just asked Tuesday’! We will be presenting some common questions and the semi-comprehensive answers…along with a little commentary, mostly to let us get away with dividing the page into block quotes.’)

Question: My best friend is funny and fun to be with, but sometimes when we are around other people he gets like, mean even goes and picks on me. But this happens only with certain people, this big kid that (my friend) knows. What gives?

Answer: Chances are your friend is a scott and the person that, when they’re around, your friend starts acting mean?…well, that other person is a scott too, but they are what we call dominant (to your friend). So your friend, even though he is picking on you, doesn’t mean to hurt your friendship… it’s a pack² thing, you know?
Answer: jeez, if you say so,

(This question deals with the changing pack order (from the scottian perspective) and it’s effects on the behavior of a scott. Note: this question (and by implication, the experience cited), will most likely be posed by a clark. Do you know why that should be?)

Question: My fiancée and I are getting close to the Big Day. When we first got engaged, we both agreed to keep the ceremony and everything on the quiet, low-key side, but lately, ( the wedding is in 3 months), she has been talking more to her sisters and some of her old friends and it seems like the guest list is getting bigger and bigger. What gives?

Answer: She is probably a roger. Forget about changing her mind. It means a lot to her, in a way that you will never understand. So relax! Sneak a couple of your friends that she might not have approved when the guest list was small, she probably won’t even notice now, and if she does make an issue of it, say the following to her (word for word): “I understand how important family is to you now. And even though I am not close to my family, you have shown me that my feelings³ of friendship with (fill in the names of you friends) make them like family. Won’t you let my family join your family …darling?”

(And there are those who would say, ‘Hey Wakefield Doctrinaires! Sure you have a uniquely clever take on personality types, but what about practical applications? Huh, what about those?’ Well, here ya go! Who cannot not identify with this situation? …not counting the rogers, of course!)

Question: My boss is nice enough, but it seems like he tries too hard to be, like my friend or something! Every day it is ‘how are you doing?’, “is there anything I can do to make your job easier?” I mean, all the time! I can’t get any work done when he is in the office, he is always offering to ‘help’! I might be able to deal with this, except that every time I do get some work done that he needs to sign off on, he always finds fault! And if I come up with something on my own initiative (he likes to say that he wants me to try to ‘think outside the box’) he is either totally negative or acts like he is amazed that I actually did it myself! Should I quite my job?
Answer: Probably.⁴

(This Question deals with a scenario that is all too common. And, although we do not propose that all bosses are rogers, we will say this, ‘If your boss is a scott you have: a) a good time everyday up until the day he decides that it is time to change careers or b) a lead pipe cinch of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so the day you get tired of her shenanigans, ‘it’s sayonara, see ya in court’
If your boss is a clark, then we know the following: a) if your clarklike boss is female then her boss is a roger, if your clarklike boss is male then his boss is a scott! and b) they (clarks) make great bosses, will stick up for you totally against all opponents, but jeez! enough with the leadership by consensus! Get a set, yo.

That music referenced in the Title of today’s Post? Totally weird. I’m sitting and watching TV and a commercial comes on and before I can hit ‘MUTE’ I hear the music in the background (of the commercial) and I’m off to the great and omnicient google… and here we are

1) rogers are about consistency, if they are about anything at all! The worldview of the herd (rogers) maintains that history, tradition, continuity…consistency is of the greatest good! The worldview is also one in which the individual’s relationship with the world-at-large manifests primarily in emotional terms. So when a (lasting) relationship forms, the details of ‘the other’ person are important, in a sense, manifesting the emotional investment. So, as time goes by, even though people change and grow and develop, the roger will still insist on seeing the ‘original person’

2) scotts, in the initial behavioral metaphor: like pack animals, i.e. wolves, dogs, lions and such. The social ranking in the pack is one of simple dominance, an alpha at ‘the top’ and everyone else in order of strength/prowess/capability downward from there. It is a primary characteristic of the scottian personality type to establish ranking when entering a new (social ) environment. Literally going from person to person, figuratively pushing them on the shoulder in order to establish ranking

3) emotions! always play the emotion-card when dealing with rogers!

4) you could try to…nah, don’t even bother. Maybe if you got to the Doctrine sooner, you might have learned enough to invoke your own rogerian aspect to re-configure your work relationship… but too hard, too frustrating, easier to get another job. But then again, most bosses/middle managers/supervisors/Principals are rogers! so maybe you should be asking about the Wakefield Doctrine School of Self-Improving Oneself…school