Cynthia
(first I will say ‘thank you’… for being the clark that you are in the situation you are in, real life Doctrine learning and application…I do feel fortunate to know you)
and therein is our best starting hint: you’re clark and, and you are in a position to need to bring out additional leadership quality. those italics? …exactly! (it’s so easy talking to clarks, at least about the beginning of a solution to a clarklike problem…heh heh) you are needing additional quality development, not! (I repeat), not needing to find or otherwise acquire the quality itself. Your problem is surely real. You are farther along your path than you ever been before, which is great. However, in my opinion, it’s critical that you remember that you got to where you are because of the qualities you have… not because you got dropped into a place/situation, out of context.
it (your question) is a totally valid one and goes to the heart of the contradiction presented by the nature of the 3 worldviews that the Doctrine is based on, i.e. you’re a clark and you know things but you need personal qualities that are not necessarily grounded in the intellect (ha ha only joking, scotts!) so how can you access your scottian aspect when you’re a clark?
and thats where perspective and faith* comes in… perspective via what you’re doing and I’m doing, stepping back to see where you were, what happened and where you are now…. helpful. not the entire answer, but very helpful we all lose a certain perspective on our own efforts when were busy doing them!
unless I turn this (discussion) into a post, I better keep it brief: trust your passion. where you are is because of what you are… you have this (secret) notion of creating a family from among those who might benefit from your help and efforts… you will eventually attract people who might have more developed skills in certain areas (yeah, scotts and rogers)… and that’s where the real transformative part comes: you’ll need to accept them into your family …. ‘your’ family (not join with them to create something, you already have done that!) they will be willing to give you something… that can help your efforts and that’s where it gets tricky for us clarks…. letting others help us to achieve what we feel strongly about)
…more to follow
*faith: with all respect to those who see the religious element/place of faith in their respective lives, I’ll make use of the concept as being the deliberate investment of our selves in a belief/proposal which requires commitment without the support of ‘proof of efficacy’…