Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

So, what with the wild social adventures of the weekend (well, technically, it was Friday… (and early evening…. (and we were to meet (for the surprise party at 5:00 pm… (yeah, that is kinda the afternoon… ( but the late afternoon… (and the surprise(d) guest didn’t arrive until, like 6:oo  (and being cloudy it was semi-dark [go ahead and provide your own closed parenthesiseseses…]

Permit us to 1st coffee this intonement installment* with a RePrint

it wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop, but there a guy sat, two stools away

May 26, 2010

I was meaning to tell you about the success of the Post that came out Monday but we got side tracked by that “24” thing. (btw, talking with DownSpring#1 right after hitting ‘Publish’, yesterday morning.  She say the night before was the Season Finale of that very show.  Ain’t synchronicity grand?)

Anyway, we are declaring the Monday Post (…”hey, did anyone else just hear something”… ) a complete success, as the only Readers that wrote a Comment in response to it were scotts.  Since the goal was to write for (one of the three specifically) and scotts were my target, then its…”A is for apple, binyons”.

But alas,that is not the topic today.  Today the topic is:…”you really want to know how seriously we take this Wakefield Doctrine?”
The photo above on this page…came across it by random, probably a part of an ad for some genealogical service that is so pervasive on the ‘net.  Anyway, saw the picture, about to click forward, but then thought came into my brain, “alright, what (or more appropriately, who ) do have here in the family portrait?”
The answer: 3 scotts, 2 rogers and 1 clark.
Even though this Post is supposed to be about  rogers, stop at this point, take a minute, look at the photo and pick out the clark. (Hint: no, not him, close, nice guess, but nothim…keep tryin).
(At this point I would ask you to write a Comment, but I don’t think you will.  Afraid of being wrong, I hear.  I understand…even though you are telling yourself that this blog is funny and maybe this particular Post is all really silly… you are still afraid of looking stupid.  I do understand, I realize that you are not afraid of me responding to your Comment with something like: ” Here is a stupid answer”,  that is not what you are afraid of.  What you know would be awful would be a follow-up Comment such as:  “…now here is a good effort…unfortunately missed by this much”.  Now that would hurt.  So I do not expect any Comment, it is not that important, seeing how I do sort of know what you are thinking… (no, I really  do  know…) (hey, sorry, don’t care if you believe me or not, just the way it is), go ahead…don’t let the cursor hit you in the ass on your way out! lol)

So rogers are all over this picture (above).  Rogers love the family units, or more precisely, they love the idea of tradition and history. The photo shows history and implies history, and the people are the herd.  This will be the Wakefield Doctrine lesson for the day.  The question is not why the herd, that would be like asking why does the night follow the day, answer: hey, it just does.
The useful question is: if the herd is the most important thing (to a roger) then how does one make a roger want to do things.  As we saw in Monday’s Post, there is a way to speak to scotts that will not only be heard by the scott, but will be irresistible. (Damn, not being clear, sorry).
Let’s try this: you have all heard about the supersonic whistles that only dogs can hear, right?  Well not only can they hear them when you cannot, but they (the dogs) cannot resist them.  Blow on the sucker and Fido is all, “OK OK what? WHat do you Want?!  Are we gonna do something?  HUH?! HUH? (picture Warner Brothers/Jack Russell-type…hell with that,  picture the dog below bouncing 3 feet in the air over and over in front of you..)

…I know…I know and I apologise!  How the heck did we get back to those scotts?  This was to be a Doctrine lesson on the herd and rogers, instead we are looking at photos of dogs.  Pretty damn cute though, no?  And sincere.  That is what dogs do so well, they are sincere and direct, not an ounce of artifice in their bodies.  Now at this point, cat people might say that dogs are kinda simpletons, non-ambitious, not nearly as cool as cats are…well, write a Comment and I might take your opinion into consideration.  Back to the scotts, people are drawn to them for the same qualities, the directness and un-complicatedness.  Unlike rogers.

I think I have driven around in supermarket cart type circles quite long enough for one Post.  If you are a new Reader, check some of the featured Posts or even the Archived Posts (In the “Read ’em and Sleep” pulldown, over to the right there, under the map).  That’s the whole magilla, Wakefield Doctrine-wise.

* without doubt funnier and more skilled writers have expressed the total fuckin, civilization-ending cultural Trojan Horse of ‘autocorrect’ by now, but serially, how could even a machine believe we meant to apologize with a song!?!?