Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Had an interesting discussion with Denise this Saturday during the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night call-in (See right column on landing page for how to join us any Saturday 8:00 pm EST).
Topic included the insights afforded by rigorous study and totally embracing the Doctrine as a tool for better the people in our lives.
And, as part and parcel with that endeavor, is the effort to better know our-ownself. This is demanded by the implication of a phrase contained within the ‘Mission Statement’ of the Wakefield Doctrine: ‘to be in a position to appreciate how we relate ourselves to the world around us and the people who make it’.
the ‘phrase’? (how) we relate ourselves to the world around us.
As we always do, we point out that we did not say ‘how we relate to the world around us’. The distinction is critical to getting the most from everyone’s favorite personality theory.
Quick example of another Doctrine Insight©:
‘Lashing Out‘.
ed. Those reading this are most likely clarks1.
So you’ve got this long-running candidate for bff. Known them since, like, forever. More significantly, they’ve been there for you through through some rough patches. Comfortable, easy-going, low-stress relationship. Not like your scottian best friend. (Hey, who else, when you first got your driver’s license, was willing to show you how much fun it was to climb half-way out the passenger side window? Who else tricked you into remembering how much fun it was to run, with abandon, just because?)
If you’re a clark (and you really don’t have a lot of uncertainty about that at this point, right?). You know the difference between your scottian friend and your rogerian friend.
This is about your rogerian friend.
Here, no frills or excessive explanation: you are sitting around in conversation or maybe out to the mall, (or wherever hypo-aged people go these days), and without hint, preamble or warning, your rogerian friend says, ‘You are such an asshole.’
After getting your breath back (being punched in the solar plexus will do that, even when it’s a metaphorical punch. see * below).
Your first reaction, clark, is to think, “What the hell did I say/do to bring that on?”
Wakefield Doctrine Insight of Value: Nothing. It was not you, it was them.
* lets review our predominant worldviews: clarks think, scotts act and rogers feel. clarks live in a world of thought and reason (valid or otherwise) and rogers inhabit the world of emotions and emotional content. What makes this ‘lashing out’ so immediately devastating to a clark is that rogers are attuned to the emotional dimension. They will find the maximum pain point without fail. Which is why clarks be all ‘that was awful, I must have done something to bring that on’.
You didn’t
They did.
Accept that while the pain/discomfit of being lashed out at is real, the guilt/responsibility is not.
PS. most clarks find this Doctrine Insight© helpful (And on a totally personal level, all of the hours of writing and such in bringing this Wakefield Doctrine to the world has been worth it for this one insight. For ourselfs.)
1) If you’re a scott or a roger, (and visiting this blog more than once), congratulations! You are possessed of a significant clarklike secondary aspect. (No! Don’t worry! Your secret is safe with us. lol)
*



I like this, the pain is real, the guilt is not.
exactly… was one of the serendipitous insights arising from this here Doctrine here… very much makes (for me and other clarks) the whole thing worthwhile
one the ways finding other clarks has returned a benefit
thanks for being part of this thing