Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is zoe’s Six Sentence Story bloghop. Each week, she provides us with a prompt word and challenges one and all to take the word and make the denizens of the metaphoric world of rhetoric totally green with envy at the fabulous stories we submit.
You know, we may talk funny ’round the Doctrine here and elsewheres… not pointing any fingers, (far be it from me to imply that Paul or Miz Avery or that English fellow, Keith… are among those of us who view the English language much the way a kitten sees a totally lit and decorated Christmas tree…. no, they all stand up folks what write real good and don’t even get me started on some the others like Mimi (who not only writes a mean Six, and somehow manages to make it part of an entertaining serial story)… and speaking of upside down, there’s that woman from clear on the other side of the planet, Irene and there’s Pat B…. I could go on and on, which might be the merciful thing to do this week. Given our Six.
Did we mention that sometimes the Six Sentence Story ends up being viewed as an opportunity to ‘practice the craft’…. (ahem! well, perhaps using the word ‘learn’ might yield a more satisfactory participial phrase.*) In any event, this week’s Six is from the next chapter in my other WIP, ‘Home and Heart’ (a Sister Margaret Ryan novel)
The prompt word this week is ‘TUNE’
“Alex, over here,” Alex Dumas heard the voice even as his eyes struggled to adjust; stepping in from a cloudless October noon, the pretend-nighttime lighting of the bar was like jumping off a dock into a cold blue lake, the secret lay in not panicking at the sudden change.
After six voice messages that consisted entirely of, ‘we need to talk, you’ll be glad you did’, Alex finally picked up his phone just as Phil Borastein was leaving his seventh; in what seemed to be a single breath, the man explained that he, among all literary agents in the world, was the only one qualified to make ‘The Nun and the Billionaire’ into a runaway bestseller. The ‘Nun and the Billionaire’ was the title of the series of articles the graduate student just completed for his college newspaper; chronicling the efforts of a novitiate nun, one Sister Margaret Ryan, to stop the foreclosure of her elderly mother’s home by a predatory corporation, by the name of the Bernabau Company, was by all measures a monster hit.
The bar was of a tried-and-true layout: a row of booths along windows that looked out over the street, creating a Hieronymus Bosch-painting–as-performance art i.e. a world of light and a world of darkness separated more by the nature their respective inhabitants than by any physical barrier.
The last booth was backlit in reflected neon red and silver that, like the shimmering waters of a fountain of youth (or failing that, a fountain of forgetfulness), the jukebox sat and released into the air, tunes that made one remember a past that should have been.
As Alex got nearer, stepping around the supplicants to glass gods of forgetfulness and forgiveness perched on lonely stools with heads bowed, looking at their drinks in quietly desperate attempts to find their way out of a world that they couldn’t remember seeking, the owner of the voice became clearer, or at least more visible; the young man’s immediate impression was that of a toad, not so much slimy as he gave the impression of being an animated pile of compressed fat with a toxic smile, wearing a worn-out suit.
* no, it’s alright, I admit to a shameless wikipedian binge in this week’s Six. That I risk totally inappropriate use of words and concepts of grammar is irrefutable. Much like a boy given 10 seconds in front of a candy counter, not only might I’ve grabbed items I have no familiarity with, I surely risk an upset stomach at the end of the day. oh well, such is the typical day in the fun house that is the internet.
About clarkscottroger
Well, I do hope that Sister Margaret Ryan becomes a household name! And when your stories make it to the big screen, who would you cast as the actors?
Totally
Funny thing about that casting question. It is a lot of fun to think about, as the characters in Blog Dominion (note new spelling of the title) became quite real to me. I believe you know the story behind Sister Bernadine (a real person), all the rest were character who come out of the story. But one character did generate a ‘this is so-and-so’. Orel Rees. Yeah, I know! For whatever reason, Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson in ‘Parks and Recreation’) is totally Orel Rees.
Too much caffeine? Good post.
is that even possible? lol
This English fellow ran a bar for many a year. I hope the one you so eloquently describe is not how my humble hostelry was viewed and is remembered. Mind you, I did have a customer that could well have been your toad-like character. I won’t mention John Jones’s name. You are welcome to him!
a bar (or a lounge or even a restaurant) has always seemed to me to such remarkably microcosmic worlds… there is a distinct smell and sound and they (seem) so self-sustaining of a segment of (some) people’s lives and realities.
…oh, yeah, thanks!
lol
You’ve really created an atmosphere with this piece. The nun and the Billionaire sounds like a fun story. “An animiated pile of compressed fat with a toxic smile ” – love this line.
It (the article ‘the Nun and the Billionaire’) is a ‘real’ story-within-the-story… that is the central plot to ‘Home and Heart’… quite an interesting story, can’t wait to find out how it ends! lol
I love it when the characters take over the writing of a story. I hope they end it in a way you like.
yeah! my second story (available on a wordpress blog, chapter by chapter) ‘Almira’ was very definitely a case of the characters telling the author what to write. In that case, its’ the young Mrs Gulch (from the movie version of the Wizard of Oz) who tells us the story of her life as it lead to the events on a certain day in Kansas.
If you don’t mind scrolling backwards through the chapters, I have it here: https://wp.me/p7mOS2-o
Thanks for the link. It has the makings of an interesting read – and as the characters wrote it interesting to see where they take you.
ur welcome … it was a long fun trip (writing) and not, of course, is the hard-part the re-write and polish and edit and such…
The description of supplicants to glass gods really got me. By the time they learn their courage isn’t at the bottom of a bottle and that you can’t drown sorrows because they float, it’s often very late. Not too late, but very late.
An amazing six!
thank you M
Hey, I’m with Kristi! I too am curious…who would you cast as the actors? :D
I have been enjoying this story and look forward to the next chapter.
Good 6 today!
Nice change of perspective. I don’t think the movie would be as good as the book though.
Well, there were some fine turns of phrases in there. And it must be your writing and not a remembering of a past that should have been that made me feel as if I knew that bar.
thankee… there must be something, akin to Jung’s archetypes …maybe a milieu archetype or perhaps a moment in time…. 60’s and early-to-mid 70s (or for that matter, any span of years in which we go through formative time).