Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Denise is host.
Her instructions are simple: take the prompt word (below) and create a story around it. Make it six sentences exactly.
Last week, our friend Miz Avery, said, she said, “I at least challenge you to present your next Six Sentence story in 99 words exactly. Aiight. I’ll take that bet….err dare?…
For this week’s Six, I’ll be drawing on the world of the Hobbomock Chronicles. (Specifically, if you don’t have the time to read it in it’s entirety, Episode Five.)
Prompt word:
SLICE
Mayor Gardner repressed a smile as the two entrepreneurs described a revitalized Hobbomock. In exchange for some tweaks to the tax and zoning codes, a prosperous future for the town was his for the asking.
“I’ve a re-election to win this Fall and my slice of the campaign contribution pie ain’t getting bigger.”
The young woman, a streak of green in her hair and the devil in her eye, smiled, “My partner here ran online services for the Omni Corporation. Stephen knows social media.”
The mayor, as did Sachem Makkapitew, three hundred fifty-five years previously, liked what he heard.
#theHobbomockChronicles
About clarkscottroger
Politicians…!
(I googled ‘ Sachem Makkapitew’, wondering if he was a well-known historical figure in your culture. )
I should have put a direct footnote (but I didn’t know if the 99 word limit that I was trying for) would permit it.
The links in the body of the post are to the Hobbomock Chronicles. And this, in turn, is the serial story I’m writing. It deals with a small New England town (Hobbomock) but it deals with the town in three time periods: Current Day, 1965 and 1665
You will find Sachem Makkapitew in the (intertwining story from 1665). A fictional character, he was the sachem (leader) of a clan of the Narragansett Indian tribe that lived in this part of North America well in advance of the Pilgrims and the Dutch and other European settlers. Interestingly enough, this tribe (related to the larger Algonquin tribe located more towards the middle of North America) had been in ‘Hobbomock’ for anywhere from 10 to 30 thousand years before the Europeans landed.
So, the Hobbomock Chronicles, involving time travel, political shenanigans and Romance novel writers will travel between the three eras of the same place.
Doesn’t seem to take much grease with Mayor Gardner! He seems pretty slick already, lol
Well appointed musical number for your Six :D
I got just the guy to play him. JT Walsh from ‘Pleasantville’
Perfect!
TY
How grateful i am that Grandpa refused the offer to go into politics, i don’t know that i would be able to hold my head up!
While acknowledging ‘the Everything Rule’ of the Wakefield Doctrine* you would not have enjoyed it
* ‘everyone does everything, at one time or another**
** as a reminder that there is nothing in any of the three realities (Outsider, Predator or Herd Member) that isn’t in the other two, simply it manifests differently. That said, the qualities of one (personality type) might be more congruent with the optimal performance of a job or role in society. Example: clarks: elementary school teacher, scotts: cops, rogers: politicians
Well? What did you think? It sure reads well! Intriguing, but a succinct scene, well told. What were your struggles and weren’t they worth it?
(By the way, so far I got nuthin’.)
Thankee, Miz. Avery
Challenging, fer sure.
Worth the effort, if for no other reason than I was able to acknowledge a modicum of success, sufficient to allow me to consider the Six complete.*
As often when replying back to your comments, I’m lacking the vocabulary, (like that ever stopped me), for a succinct response. Nevertheless, I found myself thinking, ‘Ya you have tell this as a story, not describe it as a reality.’ Not sure if that’s quite the right way to say it.
Going into it, I had the scene, the story, in mind. I wrote it as sparingly as possible. I took it over to Word. (yes, the image of an old-fashioned clothes washing machine, with the rollers built-in over the tub, comes to mind). I clicked. I wept.
294 words.
Repeated. 297! (lol yeah, don’t know what part of me decided the story need more).
So I sat staring the screen, seeing the scene in my mind and went all mathematical on it… take this, reduce that…. until, (like getting whupped upside the head by roshi Clampett), the thought came,
‘Think about this as ‘telling the Reader the story of’.
It made all the difference.
I was no longer concerned with constructing the: scene/characters/setting or anything, it was more, “hey! you know what happened at the Town Hall the other day?”
So, very worth it.
Thanks for the push**
* in the interest of Full Disclosure: it was more: “Holy Shit!! 99!! (looking around the room, knowing fully well the only source of approbation was Una) Nine Tee Nine! Gotcha!!”
** all of any improvement to my writing, since coming to this invisible world, has been the result of someone ‘up-ahead’ (in skill, style and ability) standing next to me on the tree branch over the water and, in the truest sense of encouragement, slapping me on the back…hard enough to… lol
That’s a lot to pare down! I think ya did great.
Think of the word constraint as a tool for focusing in and for revising, which you did. What the characters did and said shows their character and the thread of the story. It can always be woven into the larger story as needed.
Meanwhile, the 144 word story I am about to post I would have preferred more sentences, if only for more natural dialogue; I have a 99 word version that works, but doubling up on constraints would be too much compromise for me with this one.
It’s fun, isn’t it, puzzling these little stories together?
When I first started at Carrot Ranch I had no idea how big or small 99 words was, but that might have been an easier way to start, building up instead of reducing. With six sentences I can stretch but have to be mindful of syntax, of awkward structure that gets in the way of reading the story that wants to be told. Reckon they’re all just drafts and seedlings.
Good insight, thinking about my two sentences, The young woman, a streak of green in her hair and the devil in her eye, smiled, “My partner here ran online services for the Omni Corporation. Stephen knows social media.”
This required my giving up on the ‘need’ to properly introduce the characters (2 of the 3 people in the scene!) Not so much that it was a difficult decision as it was a matter of becoming aware of the option itself.
Man!
(Thanks for the impetus to get somewhere I might not have gone, at least as quickly as this.)
The city fathers in the little burg where I grew UP were always trying to get Dad to run for mayor. He resisted thank goodness. He’d have done a great job, but being a preacher’s kid was enough hassle, add a mayor’s kid on top of that, and surely I’d not be as “well-adjusted” as I am today! Good six.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, the older I get the less the ‘calling’ of politics is anything other than metastasizing ego.
Most of my life I’ve had no interest in politics. It’s just within the last 15 years that I’ve started folloiwing it. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. :)
Enjoyable six as always. I don’t have anything written yet for this week. I’d better get busy.
Thanks, Susan Nah, me neither… to be in politics requires hanging around with…. politicians eww.
lol
Very enjoyable story, good choice for a Sachem – Makkapitew.
Thank you.
I liked the short but emphatic line: “Stephen knows social media”.
And what an excellent final sentence to link together politics and across the ages!
Thanks, Vinny*
Appreciate the commentationing.
* not (necessarily) his ‘real’ name
Well now you sure pulled off another goodun!
Thanks, Lisa!
“a streak of green in her hair and the devil in her eye” = sheer poetry!
thankee, Miz Dyanne
The 99-word limit is not as easy as it looks! Combining with the six sentence requirement is a whole different feat. I’ve done it once or twice (mostly because I wanted to be efficient or lazy in a particular week). Nicely done here.
Thanks. And while it was a good learning/practice experience, not sure I’ll do too many others. (That said, the forced economy necessary to write a story in those few words are very valuable.)