Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Here we are in the holiday-created-no-mans-lands-day-of-the-week, Mondnesday! Aiyyee… do I get going and try to make up for the possibly-three days (or two) lost or do I relax and try to sprint into next week? If I do, can I hope for a landing in the proper (or, failing that, psycho-calendistic day that corresponds to the day I should be/could be/would be were we not interrupted by that most scottian of The Big Four Holiday, the Fourth of July?)

Yeah, now that I think of it, I really need to write more. I was going to start my Six Sentence Story, as I often do, today, for publication tomorrow. But thats like going to Church on Saturday*.

The fact of the matter there’s (was) as much to have said about the Fourth as there is about Thanksgiving, aka St. roger’s Day. Please allow for a little chrono-shrinkage in the excerpt, seeing how the 4th was yesterday instead of tomorrow. But if what I see for subtext in virtually every commercial on TV, targeting Generation Next, it won’t put them off as they (the people who are young now**) believe that if it’s not immediate then it doesn’t exist. (also the truth that small, when it comes to food, is best). That I do not get. Ask yourself, ‘When did I last see a food commercial that used a family-seated-at-a-table visual?’ Or better, if not more obscure, when did the element of shopping for the benefit of having plenty of food in the house play strongly in a commercial? The range of answers: a) I can’t remember b) never c) I think I remember but must be mistaken and d) Did I already say, ‘I can’t remember?’

Enough of the heavy chrono-cynicism.  If you have any questions about the scottian worldview, just ask.

Quick reminder about the Holiday tomorrow:  If you do not know that July 4th is one of the most scottian of holidays, then you need to write  in one of the Comment boxes below 50 times

“scotts love loud noises, it lets them believe they can have an effect on the world“.

Seriously, picture the coming Holiday:

• takes place at the height of the Summer season
• eating and drinking to excess is encouraged
• minimal clothing allowed in virtually all public places (including churches and hospitals)
• outdoor sports activities including chasing frisbees, being dragged behind a boat and the use of explosive devices (such explosives, that were it December instead of July,  a visit from Homeland Security would be the immediate result)
• …minimal clothing

So for you non-scotts reading this, three July 4th Survival Tips:

1. stay indoors
2. keep the lights off and the glow of the TV shielded from windows and doors
3. turn up the air conditioning and ….wear extra clothes

We hope that helps.

*way, way old reference and, even then, the marginal and too-young age for this reference to apply is sketchy at best. Suffice to say, back in the Sixties, (or early Seventies), the Church introduced the Saturday Mass, which punched the avoid-a-mortal-sin card for a lot of people who found the (necessary) attendance to Sunday Mass off-putting.

** as opposed to you***

*** by definition, (and paraphrasing an old saying), “If you ask, ‘does he mean me’, he does.“