Hey!  this is the Doctrine, the Wakefield Doctrine.

Not for nothin, but if you’re spending a lot of time reading blogs…I mean reading, not playing scrabble and doing homework and or porn and whatnot, then you need to do change things in your  life. ya know?

I’m not saying that any of this is bad or escaping reality or nothing. Sure  people enjoy writing blogs about their kids and dogs and flowers and shit, it’s just that it’s all… I don’t know…made up.  Online’s ok and all for what it is…  I come here, so it’s got it’s place.  Yeah yeah,  I know all about having free time on your hands and just needing a chance to think… don’t get me wrong, that’s all kinds of  great  I’m all for thinking inside your head and daydreaming…when you’re standing in the shower!!   But when there are other people awake somewhere in the same building with you? I got one word for ya, ‘real life!’

Yeah. The Doctrine is a tool and all. And it’ll help you get…smarter or more emotional or anything else you’ve talked yourself into believing you need to be more of…or worse   you let somebody else talk you into.  Sure you mean well, they mean well… every fuckin body means well. So what?  Here’s how simple this Doctrine can be: if you have one any of these second string or third base or whatever the hell they call the next runner-up personal skills  they ain’t getting stronger by your thinking about them. Yeah  even you scotts who might be reading this thinking that something hot or   sexy’s gonna happen online what with all those people showing up to Comment. Nothing like a friendly game of scrabble at 1am to get their guard down, am I lyin?   Hell, they want something more or they wouldn’t be coming back and all.

Pretty simple, isn’t it?  here’s the deal…best advice you get all day that won’t cost you a thing. If theres people around you talk to them, pick a fight, try to get laid, read to your kids, tell your boss to go fuck himself, get out of your own goddamn way for once. You ain’t gonna live forever.  You want to know how simple it is?… sweating up your arms at the jazzercise class is better than staring at your thighs in yoga class… running up and down the court and screwin up your knee for a week trying to keep up with the young punks on the court for 15 minutes is gonna do you better than  6 days of adult night classes in ‘Pampering your inner guy-minus-the-hormones-that-make-life-seem-worth-wrecking-innocent-bystanders-lives-f0r’, at least it will when the time comes and you’re lying on the ground for the last time and you hear the Doctor standing over you  say to someone who is not you,  ‘has anyone called his family?’

Life is going on now… no practicing your lines to get it perfect…no second matinée where you know you can really get into your part…

turn off the computer

…unless you’re at work.  or the kids are finally sleeping for their nap… then  come on out into the internet!  come out and play.  Remember god invented ‘delete browsing history’ for a reason. use it. just ’cause you have fun, doesn’t mean your spouse or your boyfriend or the girl you’re helping do her homework at the library, or your kids are gonna say, “hey! nice ‘abs and forearms’ site, honey!”  or “sure, anyone would find the history of bestiality in Summer Theatre compendium interesting, dear! I applaud your intellectual curiosity”

HEY! maybe it’s on the internet and all but at least it’s REAL PEOPLE in the here and now…. join us at the Wakefield Doctrine Friday Night not-a-date-but-better-than-staring-at-TV Video Chat  tonight at 7:pm  EST  (if you’re confused about what that means or how to do it….get in touch with Lizzi  she’ll get cha a guest pass.