Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
We all now know that the Wakefield Doctrine is fun…these last few weeks (especially the weekends), bear ample witness to this aspect of our personality theory.
We all also know that the Wakefield Doctrine is unique.
But the productive quality of the Wakefield Doctrine, Is it useful? Does it aid in (one’s) effort to develop and self-improve oneself? That is a totally unequivocal ‘yes! it surely does!’ But none of these three rhetorical questions are the focus of today’s Post! The focus of today’s Post is, as our title clearly states: with progress comes resistance.
So here’s the thing. I’m a clark. I have always wanted to do better. Improve myself. As a child (ages 5 through 17) it was about improving in order to meet (and exceed**) my parents expectation. From my grades in school to my activites in high school, there was always a part of me that wanted to do better. Now, you rogers out there are thinking, ‘ok, good premise, promising start but you need to clarify make it clear what all this means, otherwise. you’ll lose your audience‘. Alas, there is no answer clearer than this: I wanted to do better and to make my parents and family proud of me.
Now this ambition, especially in a child, is very common and not unusual. Children want to be valued members of their families and such. My problem wasn’t that I was un-able to try and make my parents and family proud of me (and later in life, make my friends and girl friend/lover/wife proud). No, my problem wasn’t that I was un-willing to try! The problem was that I couldn’t deal with success.
When a clark succeeds, (in doing more, acting differently, changing lifelong patterns) something happens. When a clark manages to do what no one thought for a second they could do (no one but the clark in question). When a clark changes and acts and feels and interacts with the world on a different level, in a different way, there is resistance. Resistance from friends, resistance from work, resistance from family. This is not to be too metaphysical …just resistance. (Longtime Readers of the Wakefield Doctrine will remember a story I related about how, in high school I asked a girl out, got stood up and, in my response to this very, very common life-event, sealed my fate as a clark,
Well, there is a part of the story I left out. Before getting stood up, I had to ask to borrow the family car. I was successful in doing so. And I felt really good, really…normal. It’s what teenage boys are supposed to do. But then I said something to a sibling, words to the effect, ‘hey, you’re going to have to start dating soon’. clarklike readers are cringing at this point, so I will move on. rogers and scotts? hold this scene in your mind.)
My little description about the resistance of the world to change is nothing especially insightful. Everyone encounters this resistance to change, scotts do and rogers do. It’s just that for clarks, there is a moment, a moment when the world pushes back and says, ‘whoa there. hold on now. don’t you think you’re getting a little too big for your britches‘ and, for many of us…. for me, including the unpleasant outcome of the story I am using as an illustration, there is a feeling that comes back on us…’they’ve been humoring me, all of what I thought was a better me…they are laughing‘
It is not a good feeling. (the Progenitor roger coyned the perfect expression: “my head swelled up and my face fell”).
Most of the time, we put up a brave front and at the first opportunity, run and hide.
But this is different. This Wakefield Doctrine is different (and fun and useful). I still have those moments of thinking that I am acting the fool, that I am not changing the world for 2 or 7 or 29 people. I still have the stomache that comes from thinking… “you’re being such a clark“.
But this is Doctrine thing is different. I mentioned this to another clark… rogers and scotts still reading? this will not make sense…at any rate, I was doing something exuberant at the Facebook…I think it was writing something I thought was especially clever when Kristi was having her blog critiqued by the blogging bloppers.. there came a moment, when I pushed the envelope and that part of me whispered, ‘now you’ve done it, you’ve gotten offensive and stupid. you have alienated everyone‘.
The old feelings started to rise, but (for the first time in my life), I found myself thinking, ‘well then, I guess I’ll jusy have to get another set of everyone’
Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine.
speaking of Progenitor roger… he did a response to one of the awards on the TTofT this weekend… for those of you who have not stopped by the little sod home on the prairie (with the distant sound of guitars emanating from the vicintity of)…stop by ‘the Rag (tell ’em the Doctrine sent ya)
** it’s always exceed, isn’t it?
About clarkscottroger
That’s a very clenchy moment, followed by a world of self-doubt.
And as you know, your advice to me (the *thought* of being able to get ‘another set of everyone’, without necessarily going and *doing* so) has come in handy on more than one occasion since you proffered it.
As a clark, you are precisely comfortable in the world of clarks. We are not boat-rockers. We are also guarded – if we succeed we begin to worry about setting a precedent and then, once set, the abyss which would open up should we not meet it. So self-sabotage is as neat a way around it as any. For if we never begin on that journey, it will always remain open as the road ahead.
And yet, as you said to me (O wise one) the *thought* can carry you through. You can adapt, shrug your scottian shoulders and say to yourself “‘kay, so THAT didn’t work!” followed (accompanied by an incredulous expression on the clark’s face) by “Never mind”
Unless you upset a roger too much (in which case, beat a hasty retreat, keep your head down and perhaps do make a few calls on the ‘new set’ front) we can be (almost unbelievably) accepted. We say goofy things and they shrug it off!
The scotts – they just take it in their stride and bounce back (where needed, with a slightly bemused expression at our outburst) and carry on. Maybe we shakingly, gut-wrenchingly, with a million thoughts of how wrong it could go (flying round our brain) posted a tiny, small bit of (very, very scary) feeling about another. And waited so anxiously for a response, for feedback, to be told it was ok.
And stunningly, maybe it was. Accepted. Unquestioningly, and perhaps even warmly received.
And life goes on, without any clue as to how our world just fell apart, got shaken down and put back together with the pieces in a slightly prettier order, and with a bit more shine.
@Considerer
well said.
my own (recent) experience with that (push back from our worldview) serves as further proof of (and opportunity to better understand the nature of the roles of (lol) our secondary and tertiary aspects as the Wakefield Doctrine tells us)
my scottian aspect allows me to be obnoxious and pushy for the fun of it (it is my secondary aspect), however this is not my predominant worldview, so my appetite is not that of a scott* but my behavior (in this instance is).
The problem arises when the feedback is negative… if this were my predominant worldview, I wouldn’t even notice. But being a clark, (believeing that I am getting negative feedback from ‘the real people’) nothing could be worse! so I run away… and hope that they forget, until I have forgotten (yeah, right) and I can come back and try again.
*very simply: a scott looks for attention, good bad, positive negative…does not matter, it is the attention (of others) that matters…this allows the scott to be a scott…to live and predate in the world of the predator, the saying is ‘a scott alone in a room…isn’t’ lol
This is a nice (strike through “nice”) good start to my day. Seriously. Thank you Considerer and Clark for the reminders.
@Girlie
we of the University of Los Angeles…. lol no sorry, the topic does need to arise now, if for no other reason than the simple fact that so many clarks are using the Doctrine (so many is a relative term) to change and such… this backlash phenomenon is there, to pretend otherwise would be so…so clarklike! lol
…and besides there is much to be learned from this and god knows we loves to learn shit. and…and! it has to do with that dark corner of the basement/attic…our emotional aspects so put them pith helmets on bwana
But again, bearing in mind that so much is through your own worldview, you can be pretty well assured that unless you really upset a roger, they’ve forgotten all about it (and will act accordingly) long before you will have.
It can become a tiny little hook of mea culpa, that you revisit and cringe about, but that doesn’t have to hold you back (knowing, from a meta-point, that you needn’t worry about it).
And the new set becomes unneeded. Because the old set are still with you.
@Considerer
true….mostly to your last point (about the old set still with you) plus add this very new set of other self-aware clarks…this is totally new and barely understood
on the matter of the role of rogers in all this… big developments in this regard too. Not the least of which is that it is ‘safe to ignore them’ and the feelings that we feel in response to their ‘lashing out’ is well within our capacity to mitigate… but the really big developments here is in the realm of understanding the process, which involves the common language but is so very beyond the range of a Comment forum…someone make a note that we have an After School special devoted to this subject….soon.
After school with sodas and ice-creams? I’m in :D
@Considerer
(…an old TV series. After School Specials did you have them over there?) In practical terms it has (in the past) been a call in scheduled for a week day afternoon (local). Let the invites go out… sometime towards the end of this week…afternoon (in someone’s time zone lol) and for say 60 minutes max topic to be announced.
Who wants to be in charge of the invite committee? YEs, a video chat, of course!
No, we didn’t, but then I hadn’t a tv growing up…
How do you schedule a hangout?
I’d definitely like in on this one
@Considerer
(as you of all people know) I am still developing my skills in this regard…the gooogle implies that you simply schedule a time and date and indicate who is invited and it will send out the invites (which no one uses google+ enough to actually notice the arrival of invitations.)
will do a couple of controlled experiments this week.
Hey Lizzi! Bring some of your sister’s cupcakes and I’ll take care of the ice cream!
I’m kind of skimming today but since somebody was talkin’ bout rogers ….
I thought about a comment the progenitor roger made over GirlieOnTheEdge awhile back. It had coincided with some inroads I had made with regards to the “rogerian mystique”. LOL
In an effort to be helpful, please allow me to share:
http://girlieontheedge1.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/edge-warriors-renegades-all/#comments
Yo! Getting back to you a little late…..my helmet has been on…let’s go…..to those dark corners of the basement/attic…LOL Damn this is getting “fun”.
@Denise
what is this ‘fun’ that you speak of?
As I just read through all these comments, a stirring thought popped up.
You know how we were hashing over my ” video clip with subtitles” way of seeing things?
As I was just reading along and visualizing, the subtitle said: ” How long does it take you to forgive yourself?”
Interpretation; Have you ever done something that you truly regretted? How do you reconcile it?
I would expect scotts to right themselves almost immediately; rogers would take much longer, and circumstance would be a significant factor. Clarks? Either immediate justification, or absolutely none. Ever.
Kind of envy the scotts on this one…
@Roger
well, you know the old saying, clarks live for the future (and never get there), scotts live in the present (so what’s the problem) and rogers live for the past (and never leave there)
@ Clark – I was being facetious hence the ” ” around the word fun.
@ RCoyne – I’m with you 100%. I too envy the scotts! If only I could right myself immediately. In my own defense (here, allow me to get this as well: who says you, meaning I, need defending? huh? huh? clark (referring to my worldview)
Basement/attic, tomato/tamato…..you brought it up Clark.
P.S. Can’t wait for the ice cream social =D
@Girlie – ‘consider’ it done. Cakes and ice-cream there shall be
@Clark – aha
@RCoyne – a very succinct way of putting it. I’d agree on the clark and scott fronts, and know not enough (yet) to pass comment on the roger.
Considerer, it’s a murky, anxiety-ridden business at best . Very ” Macbeth’. Or, say Jesus, after having risen, says ” well, glad that’s over with”; but then thinks ” wait- not everyone got the point, some got there late…better have a do-over.”
RCoyne
“…now, now Mr. Coyne what have we told you about leaving your room except for our special exercise hours in the day room! Now get back there! Your ‘Internet’ ‘Friends’ can wait until after the afternoon therapy.”
Don’t be stickin’ me with no needles…
lol
That caption picture… like a demon, reminds me of a religious picture depicting a demon sitting on someones chest (I think representing sleep paralysis) Whether it’s an actual religious piece or just done in the style of the time period I’ve no idea.
It’s odd, but I think I had the complete opposite reaction when growing up. I was really good in school (for what school it was growing up out in the boonies), got “A”s and “B”s, didn’t rock the boat. Neither my mother or father went on beyond high school. I was going to be the one to do that, and make it well off in the world. For some reason, at some point I think I rejected and rebelled against that. Decided to screw off my last year, and avoid college (still have that mentality, though, given costs of debt/shitty job placement).
As time has gone on I don’t necessarily regret my choices, but I feel the desire to make my family proud (some members particularly more than others). I’m a “late bloomer” as I like to say (and generally I only say it to myself). Conflicting with this (especially with writing and fueled my “block”) is the fear of success. I’ve always been confused how fear of success and failure can be experienced in the embodiment of one sole individual at the same time, because it sounds like it would contradictory. Unfortunately it isn’t and they feed off one another is a very parasitic like fashion creating a vacuum of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” perception.
I’d like to say I have more, but that’s all I got. I’m still floating adrift in the self-made/maintained void.
Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink