Month: April 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3 Month: April 2013 | the Wakefield Doctrine - Part 3

of egos and empathy the Wakefield Doctrine (yes, I know! it’s already half past Monday! )

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Sorry for leaving an undeniably out of date Post up there, I mean, it frickin says ‘Saturday’ in the damn Title. So while I rack my damn brain for some fresh Content, here is a reprint Post, which is actually surprisingly germane to where my thinking is on the Doctrine. Don’t want to get into it too much but I will say this: a) the Wakefield Doctrine stands to become a very cool tool for self-development (for those so inclined) and  2) those rogers have been relaxing long enough in the wings…time to get this show on.

But for now, please enjoy:

Welcome*

…we know now ( if you read yesterday’s Post, you know now ) the relationship between rogers and scotts is a very… intimate pairing. While it is easy to mistake the roger’s as ‘victim’ to the scott’s predation, we know that this is totally not the case. ( New Readers!  Go and listen to DownSpring Phyllis in Episode 13 of Video Friday), rather it is obvious that there is very much a symbiotic relationship binding1 your rogers and scotts.  The Wakefield Doctrine is gender neutral, however it is often where gender is the central feature, that we can see the relationship between these two personality types in highest contrast. We all know a couple** where the guy is a roger and the girl is a scott. He is always pretty and she is always sexy. He is socially adept and she is socially aggressive. It is when these two are observed tant qu’ensemble,  do we see the interplay of each personality type.  With a roger/scott couple,  it is the scott who is quick with the jokes about (the roger), ” oh yeah,  you should have seen roger on our honeymoon! he was so nervous”  (this kind of comment actually serves two purposes: a) make fun of the roger for the amusement of the surrounding group and b) (serve) as bait to entice any rogers listening to the story). The roger, in this situation, laughs comfortably and watches the reaction of the female members of their ‘audience’.  Think:  Bill and Hillary Clinton  or  (for you older Readers), Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton   …hell, lets throw in  Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston!  In any event, you will find ‘this couple’  in most social gatherings where attendance of ‘couples’ is appropriate. It needs to be said that this type of relationship ( roger/scott) is by no means exclusive to ‘couples’ in the romantic sense; anywhere there are people interacting, you will find the dynamic described here.  And, as Phyllis points out in her Video interview, the roger is not truly the passive partner. (From the rogerian perspective), the seemingly passive one is ‘leading from behind’  and reining in the scott, particularly in the public/social situations that we are using to illustrate the two personality types.

While the roger-scott relationship is relatively easy ( if not kind of…racydynamic… “ewww, I can’t believe she said that“…) to understand, what of the roger-clark relationship?

Before we continue with our discussion, a quick note!  You know how we have been accused of… making up words,  (neologisms, to get rogerian on it) for our own enjoyment?  ( No?  well we do! ) Real made up words, not rogerian expressions,  anyway with Molly’s help we went and sent in a word to the Urban Dictionary just last evening. While not up to the sublime, subtly-nuanced standards found with most of the entries there, we are beginning to spread more and more into the ‘real world’.  Thanks Molly!

The roger-clark relationship is much more stable, less wildly dynamic than is the roger-scott relationship. As the ‘active’ partner in a roger-scott relationship is usually the scott, the roger plays the more active role in the roger-clark couple. This is attributable more to the patience of the clark than (to) the aggressiveness of the roger.  Lets just say that in the ‘natural’ relationship between rogers and clarks

rogers are to clarks as:

  • a diploma is to an education
  • (the) record to the needle
  • the ocean to the tide
  • Thanksgiving is to Christmas

(As with yesterday’s Post, here is where we will relate an anecdote to serve as an illustration of some part of this Post.  So I was talking to the Progenitor roger just the other day, the conversation was great fun, ranging an incredible variety of topics. This is as much evidence of the rogerian skill at story-telling, as it is proof of a clarks ability to adapt to nearly any situation.  In any event, roger and I were talking and the topic came around to either:  a)dinner, b)body weight or c) both a & b, at which point,  roger made the statement, ” of course, you would be eating tuna casserole…” Now this statement should not mean anything to you (the Reader) however, what makes it so atypical of rogers is that at one time in the past (say …20 years ago) I was on a tuna casserole diet. Great meal, tuna…noodles…good hot or cold…perfect food! Being a clark, I could (and did) eat tuna casserole for every meal. The point of this story is that roger mentioned this…menu choice, as if it were (still) true. What is remarkable about the sentence that he made was not that it was no longer true, rather that he made the statement with such certainty and conviction that, for a second, I could almost smell tuna casserole. rogers do that, they maintain a (certain) worldview that they have decided is accurate, the passage of time (in this case, 20 years) has zero effect on how true the roger will hold their statement to be… This capability is at heart of the rogerian need to: preserve, to maintain tradition, to support their view of the world as lasting and consistent. This is perhaps the  reason that rogers are such effective story-tellers…they maybe be relating a tale, one that they totally make up, but when they tell it, it is ‘true’. The listener feels this (rogerian) conviction that the story is true, it must be simply because (the roger) remembers it so…)

  • musical technique is to creativity
  • machine operator is to a Teacher

Well that wraps up Chapter II.  Be sure to stay for the Video  (  isn’t George just so….dreamy??! )

1) lol…ask a scott

* the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers

** we mean it about gender neutral…the term ‘couple’ is not limited to simple heterosexual pairs… can include any relationship, sexual and/or friendship-based

 

Share

a little music to get the chores done and get yerselfs out of the house…. the Wakefield Doctrine (‘we got your Saturday back, yo)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Saturday.

Suggested activities:

  • go to a hardware store and talk to a roger
  • go to a library and talk to a clark
  • go to the gas station and wave to the scotts

Yes, even though Saturday has lost a certain amount of it’s magic with the change in times and culture, (in olden days no one worked on Saturdays, except the people in the stores, gas stations and pizza shops and even they seemed to be more relaxed and less stressed.)
But that was then and this is the actual present.  …so what is there in today’s Saturday that is an improvement over that mythical, Pleasantville Saturday?

Today is Saturday…therefore tonight is…*  the Wakefield Doctrine’s Saturday Night Drive!  When I was growing up, we did not have a Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call-in blog Post! But this is a short Post ’cause it’s Saturday morning, totally no time for introspection… get out and have some fun.

Tonight, though  come 8:00 pm (EDST)  and you find yourself near a phone (I know, what are the odds of that!)  give us a call!  We will so answer all your questions lol

the number is:  1-218-339-0422  access code: 512103

(don’t worry, it’ll be fun!)

*sorry, forgot sarcasm is not permitted until after 9:00 on Saturdays and before 11:30 am Sundays

Share

Finish The Sentence Friday …it’s the Wakefield Doctrine lookin’ for a place to live…

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

If I could live anywhere, I’d live…

(I have come to believe that my best contribution to this group’s blog hop is to find the…. road less traveled and try to put something up that will cause the Readers and (other) participants of FTSF to sit back, sip their coffee and say, ‘there, but for the Grace of god, a firm grip on reality and sound writing skills, go I”, that and perhaps (a) smile while reading.

I don’t want to sound too much like a fan* but each of the four bloggorini  Bloggarini** behind this here FTSF here, have such distinctive writing styles,  that I often despair at keeping up to the level set by M(s) Janine, Kate, Stephanie and Dawn.
But in a clear nod to the secret (and huge) ego of clarks, I will submit for your enjoyment the above video Post.

Filmed in a (nearly) speeding car, I trust that the undeniable courage under pressure, will be taken into account/consideration by all…particularly when we get to the part where I get out of the car and go on location… late, breaking Post!!( god what a wonderful time to be alive!)

 

* The word first become popular in reference to baseball enthusiasts. (Fanatic itself, introduced into English around 1550, means “marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion”. It comes from the Modern Latin fanaticus, meaning “insanely but divinely inspired”. The word originally pertained to a temple or sacred place [Latin fanum, poetic English fane]. The modern sense of “extremely zealous” dates from around 1647; the use of fanatic as a noun dates from 1650. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_(person)

 

** Friend of the Doctrine, Considerer has stated/suggested/spoken-quite-convincingly on the matter of the spelling of our little new word   Bloggarini   I like it (for unknown reasons) if anyyone else has opinions on the matter come on down… I think that we have ourselfs  a rather nice (new) proper noun (?)

Share

why learn the Wakefield Doctrine?… a brief interlude

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

me: so how was your get together last night*

Phyllis: not bad, Scott and Kathleen and Kim and Lisa were there

me: how is everyone doing?

Phyllis: good. Pat was also there a little later in the evening.

me: Pat?

Phyllis: yeah, you know him  tall, sort of round face, short hair

me: roger?

Phyllis: yeah, him. In any event, he was telling Scott how his father died last month.

me: really?

Phyllis: interesting…the guy had been healthy his entire life but one night started feeling bad, took some aspirin…but it wasn’t getting better. finally told his wife to call 911 because, he said, “I’m dying”  and proceeded to do so

me: wow… Scott must have hated the story…

Phyllis: yeah, as a scott he would have been mad that he wasn’t informed.

me: I like Pat’s father’s style

Phyllis: yeah, we’ve both had practice… most people would not be able to die without un-necessarily upsetting the people around them

me: (laughs) well, we would have, unfortunately having had the chance to practice with Ola and Bella**  oh well

The Wakefield Doctrine not only provides a helpful aid to remembering people, but it is also of use in conveying the reactions and responses in situations. As illustrated in the story above, even though I was not present and witness to Pat telling Bob about his father, knowing that Bob is a scott allowed me to know his likely response (to the news that Pat’s father died).
You know how we are always saying, “...with the Wakefield Doctrine, you will know more about the person than they know about themselves.” ? well, this is a good example. Phyllis, while listening to the conversation, knew that Bob would not be listening after he absorbed the fact that, even though Pat was a member of the same social group, he (Scott) was not informed of the very significant fact of a death of a family member. In other words, as a scott, Scott was stuck struggling with the fact that as a presumed pack leader, he knows that he should have known.

How useful is the Doctrine? As a result, I was able to get much more of a sense of how Phyllis’ evening went, without having to leave the house! lol

So…study your Doctrine. It has more to offer than you (or me!) even realize.

If I may, I have had the following song stuck in my head all morning.. sometimes it helps to put it in a Post. Old, old song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kmq9uM4Mq0

* actual conversation this morning.

** Ola and Bella were our dogs. Anyone who has the terrible/wonderful privilege to be there for a pet when they die, knows that, dogs being so incredibly sensitive to emotion, it is necessary to feel the calm and serenity that they deserve to feel around them, no matter how awful you know you could feel at that moment.

Share

“…as I was about to say, when I rudely interrupted myself” the Wakefield Doctrine (of blogs and book writing)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

‘…you should write a book.’  ‘…hey, have you ever thought about writing a book?’ ‘…you know clark, what would be real good, would be if you wrote all that stuff down.’  ‘…my sisters best friends’ brother wrote a book about personality types..I think they’re gonna make it into a movie.’

You know, whoever said, ‘…easier said than done’ was probably talking about blogs and book writing. It’s just that everyone, in this demographic…the one that includes: people who write daily blogs, girls who paint, guys with cameras, mothers with children and sisters with ambition, they all seem to have the energy, the skills and the time and the energy to produce, at very least, a draft manuscript of a decent idea for a book or a novel, a memoir or an autho-biography.
As a matter of fact, the group that I joined on ‘the Facebook’ (the BB&G) were in the midst of starting some kind of book-writing marathon… the nano-mo-ho, or the whoo-hoo-write write, whatever…I recall it was a Contest, at least as much of a contest that female women, god-bless-their-understanding-instead-of-killing-and-destroying hearts are capable of…. (remind me to tell you about a sporting event that centered on one of the women athlete’s being on the verge of breaking (a) world (scoring) record… it’s a sweet story from the X-chrome side of the fence and is totally incomprehensible to the rest of us. …it involved a team sport and when the athlete was at the point, about to break it, everyone stopped playing…I mean everyone, the other team included …no!  really! the opposing team stood aside so the shot could be made and the record books be re-written!! even a roger would shake their oft-bearded heads at such behavior.  I suppose that’s why there’s no Emperor Ming-ette or Ghengis Connie  or  (hey, stop me if I am going on too much with this…there is a point in this here Post here… if I write enough words I will come upon it. I know I will.

I got it now!!  I don’t think it’s my dissatisfaction with my efforts to take what is known about the Wakefield Doctrine and turn it into a book. At least I don’t think it is… well, maybe a little. It’s just that all the parts are there…it sits in my head every day and…and even when I am not writing about the Doctrine, someone like Cyndi or Terrye or Melanie or Janine or Amy or Jen or Kristi (newest addition to the blogroll!) or Denise or Stephanie or even the Progenitor roger will write a Comment that makes me see more of the Doctrine (more uses, more insights, more wisdom, more humor, more ways-to-win-an-argument, more ways-to-get-lucky, more skills for career advancement, more insights into the behavior of our: spouse/the kids/the boss/the ex/the new beau/the cop standing next to your car;  there just seems to be no end to the ways that this perspective on human nature can be used for… and I know that I can create something that people, other than you ‘Readers-with-minds-like-steel-traps and hearts-like-good-natured-bears’ can read and understand and be glad you bought the book.

ok…guess I am done:

  • complaining ( did you know that most clarks don’t believe that they complain…even when we do?)
  • rambling on (the clark in me enjoys the end product of a Post like this, but hates the thought of how….odd it reads)  (the roger in me  probably is basking in the sense of heart-feltedness this may ‘read…) (the scott?  don’t ask lol)
  • seeing my thoughts ‘on paper’
  • being uncomfortable about not being able to write a Post, I will now proceed to be uncomfortable about the Reader response lol

Enough… maybe  video tomorrow!

…stay tuned yo

Share