the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine, the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers.

Show of hands, who out there visited the Doctrine the first time in the last week or so? That many?

Well, if you visited here and saw the dvd of Bella and stayed to read the Doctrine, I suspect there may be questions. And as for questions, (those) we do very well here. Answers, not so much. But we try.  And we are aided by the Wakefield Doctrine, which if you read and consider it’s basic premise, the Wakefield Doctrine provides a resource  (of answers) that impresses even me. And god knows, clarks are difficult to impress.

In any event, we thank DownSpring Phyllis for sharing her DVD of Bella with us. There is a ‘human element’ to the rogers among us that seems to lend a certain ‘accessibilty’ or, (if I may attempt at a rogerian expression) rogers have a certain ‘congenital warmth’  in how they relate to others that is un-mistakeable. This is a characteristic not shared by clarks, or scotts for that matter. Although, when it comes to communicating with the others, our scottian friends make up in volume what they lack in warmth and sensitivity. ….oh, oh…do I hear a Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day off in the distance?   ( … om madre de dios, que es otro examen sorpresa, y no he estudiado!… ).
So, here is the Lesson of the Day. If clarks, scotts and rogers were at an athletic event and were waving pennants and cheering their team, what would it look like?

clarks: (2 possibilities):  A) a bunch of rogers with $5.00 bills sticking out of their pockets would wave a “Go! clarks” pennant 3 times, look around, start talking to their other rogers and forget they have anything in their hands and “go clarks” end up under the bleachers…to be found later by a clark, who would gather them up quickly so that no one would see them and get embarrassed; B) among the rogerian banners and pennants being waved from the full bleachers, in the upper left corner there is one pennant that says “go clarks….”

scotts: they don’t need pennants, or if there is someone near with artistic skills, the scotts will have them (probably a clark) write words on their faces and chests in body paint. Mostly, “Kill”, and “Go Team! (KILL)” but for the most part the scottian element at the game will be happy shouting, “KILL (other team name here)” or “Get in the Hole”!!! or ” eee haaa” or similar ‘inchoate-high-volume-noise-meant-to-designate-a-perceived-freedom-to-act-in-any-manner-that-occurs-to-the-scott-in-question’ ( … aiiyee, Miguel! esta palabra, ‘incipiente’ ¿Qué quiere decir?… ).  Guess it is kinda hard to put into words, but then again, they are scotts…

rogers: you know that  ‘wave’ thing that stadium goers do? Stand up and sit down in sequence?…rogers!   And the thing where the crowd holds up black or white cards that, when seen from afar (there is a hint right there) the whole half of the stadium appears to be spelling out the Pythagorean theory complete with proof and citations …rogers!   Hell, for that matter, every marching band in the western world… you know, the ones who insist on doing an arrangement of “I Feel Good” (James Brown) complete with choreography and solos by the horn sections and everyone, including the overweight tuba-playing guys, doing the splits at the end?…rogers!  Real simple concept here, if it is complicated to the point that you lose track of the original reason for doing the thing and requires a level of coordination that would make a school of albacore blush in shame, then you are talking about rogers…

So, there you have it! In time for the football season, you now know how to identify clarks, scotts and rogers at the (high school/college) football games.  (… yes? Britney? you have a question?  the female clarks, scotts and rogers?  Why of course they are there!! The Wakefield Doctrine is, after all, gender neutral!  Let’s take the easy ones first…. {very funny Jimmy, besides the scottian girls…} the cheerleaders.  Not counting the male cheerleaders, who are rogers to a “man”. The girl cheerleaders will have the rogerian females on the ground-level of those formation things. Can’t afford to have anyone lose their focus and wander off, the rest are little scottian girls being thrown into the air by clarklike females (with the extra sparkle-things on their showlaces and their hair a little weird).

I am sure there will be questions…that is why we have a Comments section right below here.  Go ahead. Are those exchange students finished writing yet?

Mr. B? Something to wake these students up! They all have gym class next!