“…how well do you know,” the Wakefield Doctrine (?) “…you’re totally not surprised at this being a re-print post, very good!”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Yes, for those of you who smiled at this Title? I am proud to know you, you are well versed at our little personality theory. Anyone wondering why:

  • one might have guessed and/or not been surprised
  • how you could have known that

just ask one of the Readers, like Lizzi or Cyndi or zoe or Christine or Kristi or Dyanne or Michelle… some of them will give you a straight and serious answers, but, some of them will kid you a bit, before telling you what you think you want to know.  While you’re working up your nerve to write a Comment/question, here is the aforementioned re-print Post  from…. November 13 2012

‘and a thousand telephones that will not ring,  the Wakefield Doctrine: the theory of personality predicated on three characteristic worldviews’

Question: If your husband is a roger and you are a clark, is it true that they never accept how much you have changed over the years, since you first met?
Answer: Too true1

(Welcome to ‘ya shoulda just asked Tuesday’! We will be presenting some common questions and the semi-comprehensive answers…along with a little commentary, mostly to let us get away with dividing the page into block quotes.’)

Question: My best friend is funny and fun to be with, but sometimes when we are around other people he gets like, mean even goes and picks on me. But this happens only with certain people, this big kid that (my friend) knows. What gives?

Answer: Chances are your friend is a scott and the person that, when they’re around, your friend starts acting mean?…well, that other person is a scott too, but they are what we call dominant (to your friend). So your friend, even though he is picking on you, doesn’t mean to hurt your friendship… it’s a pack2 thing, you know?
Answer: jeez, if you say so

(This question deals with the changing pack order (from the scottian perspective) and it’s effects on the behavior of a scott. Note: this question (and by implication, the experience cited), will most likely be posed by a clark. Do you know why that should be?)

Question: My fiancée and I are getting close to the Big Day. When we first got engaged, we both agreed to keep the ceremony and everything on the quiet, low-key side, but lately, ( the wedding is in 3 months), she has been talking more to her sisters and some of her old friends and it seems like the guest list is getting bigger and bigger. What gives?

Answer: She is probably a roger. Forget about changing her mind. It means a lot to her, in a way that you will never understand.  So relax! Sneak a couple of your friends that she might not have approved when the guest list was small, she probably won’t even notice now, and if she does make an issue of it, say the following to her (word for word): “I understand how important family is to you now. And even though I am not close to my family, you have shown me that my feelings3 of friendship with (fill in the names of you friends) make them like family. Won’t you let my family join your family …darling?

(And there are those who would say, ‘Hey Wakefield Doctrinaires! Sure you have a uniquely clever take on personality types, but what about practical applications? Huh, what about those?‘ Well, here ya go! Who cannot not identify with this situation? …not counting the rogers, of course!)

Question: My boss is nice enough, but it seems like he tries too hard to be, like my friend or something! Every day it is ‘how are you doing?’, “is there anything I can do to make your job easier?” I mean, all the time! I can’t get any work done when he is in the office, he is always offering to ‘help’! I might be able to deal with this, except that every time I do get some work done that he needs to sign off on, he always finds  fault! And if I come up with something on my own initiative (he likes to say that he wants me to try to ‘think outside the box’) he is either totally negative or acts like he is amazed that I actually did it myself!  Should I quite my job?
Answer: Probably.4

(This Question deals with a scenario that is all too common. And, although we do not propose that all bosses are rogers, we will say this, ‘If your boss is a scott you have: a) a good time everyday up until the day he decides that it is time to change careers or b) a lead pipe cinch of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so the day you get tired of her shenanigans, ‘it’s sayonara see ya in court’
If your boss is a clark, then we know the following: a) if your clarklike boss is female then her boss is a roger, if your clarklike boss is male then his boss is a scott!  and b) they (clarks) make great bosses, will stick up for you totally against all opponents, but jeez! enough with the leadership by consensus! Get a set, yo.

That music referenced in the Title of today’s Post? Totally weird. I’m sitting and watching TV and a commercial comes on and before I can hit ‘MUTE’ I hear the music in the background (of the commercial) and I’m off to the great and omnicient google… and here we are

 

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1) rogers are about consistency, if they are about anything at all! The worldview of the herd (rogers) maintains that history, tradition, continuity…consistency is of the greatest good! The worldview is also one in which the individual’s relationship with the world-at-large manifests primarily in emotional terms. So when a (lasting) relationship forms, the details of ‘the other’ person are important, in a sense, manifesting the emotional investment. So, as time goes by, even though people change and grow and develop, the roger will still insist on seeing the ‘original person’

2) scotts, in the initial behavioral metaphor: like pack animals, i.e. wolves, dogs, lions and such. The social ranking in the pack is one of simple dominance, an alpha at ‘the top’ and everyone else in order of strength/prowess/capability downward from there. It is a primary characteristic of the scottian personality type to establish ranking when entering a new (social ) environment. Literally going from person to  person, figuratively pushing them on the shoulder in order to establish ranking

3) emotions! always play the emotion-card when dealing with rogers!

4) you could try to…nah, don’t even bother.  Maybe if you got to the Doctrine sooner, you might have learned enough to invoke your own rogerian aspect to re-configure your work relationship… but too hard, too frustrating, easier to get another job. But then again, most bosses/middle managers/supervisors/Principals are rogers!  so maybe you should be asking about the Wakefield Doctrine School of Self-Improving Oneself…school

 

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ice cream soup, clarks and love the Wakefield Doctrine (and you’re going to work bright and early this morning?!!)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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(I normally would spend a lot of time here,at the top of the Post, trying to avert misunderstandings on the part of Readers for the following, by pre-explaining and/or qualifying statement that I think might be mis…somethinged. But, today  no. Not this time).

clarks mean well. clarks try so very hard to:  do well, to live up to their potential, to not let their parents (and families down), to be good students, to not disappoint, to learn and be like others, earn a good living and support their families, to not be too distant and be the person that their spouse deserves, to learn how to act like others and not be so strange, (clarks) want to be accepted and will work and try without reward or reinforcement, towards this goal, needing only to not feel that they are being looked at and laughed at for being that ‘strange one’.

Had an interesting experience/reaction today. I often, when in a situation that carries the threat of un-wanted attention or un-earned rewards, find ways to sabotage myself. How I sabotage myself varies and is so innate that, in some circumstances, you would think I was doing it to myself on purpose! (lol*)  In any event, for reasons unclear to me, on this particular morning, I got mad at this self-sabotage. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, “…don’t you mean, clark, that you were getting mad at yourself”
Only at first.
And then, I was angry only just enough to disrupt the cycle, (which is often, but not always, possible to do). But that is not what prompts me to write this Post. What prompts me to write this Post is that shortly after this occurrence , as I continued to drive along in my car, I thought about my living with this kind of thing.  And, then I thought of the/a young(er) clark, experiencing something that while clearly a self-induced ….’thing’, and despite knowing that it is/it was,  all in my mind, (it) still happens.

…and a surprisingly strong feeling of sadness came over me.

not for myself, driving along in my German luxury car, working in a business that is challenging, enjoyable and rewarding,  but for that clark that I was.  and, (being in possession of the Wakefield Doctrine), for all the other clarks out there who have a similar experience. It really was quite a remarkable 30 minutes or so (see? I’m back to normal…I described it as remarkable).

As I sat behind the wheel, letting this emotion have it’s way, I thought   ‘how un-necessary’.  In the special mental/emotional shorthand we all have, I knew that somehow this self-sabotage was directly a result/consequence/offshoot of my efforts to learn my way out of being ‘the Outsider’.  and, while I do not, for a second, devalue the efforts that I have put towards this end, (as does every clark, everywhere to one degree or another), I felt sad that I could not somehow reach back to my younger self and say, ‘don’t worry, even though being an Outsider is not necessarily your first choice, you are doing good work and you can feel proud of the effort, independent of whether anyone else in the world acknowledges it. you are a good and sufficient person’

…this Wakefield Doctrine, man!  

(oddly enough, I was talking to Denise last night about how the Doctrine offers so many different ways to aid in the effort to self-improve ourselves, and that I have not even begun to scratch the surface, in these Posts.)

I debated with myself  whether adding a favorite music vid, (thinking,  ’Werewolves of London’) would be too much of distraction from what I wrote, a typical clarklike effort to ‘hedge my bet with the world’… as much as the ‘smile of a clark‘  which we all recognize, the pressing of the lips together, a glance out of the corner of our eyes, all to make sure we aren’t smiling where we are not welcome.

…and I decided that it was.

 

* lol: ‘laugh out loud’ I am told that use of this…expression marks me as out of: date/touch/cool/current blog writing practices. too bad)

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TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (can’t decide to plug in famous Wm S. quote or not…. let me know)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Mid-Summer Edition of the 10 Things of Thankful.

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!)  Joy Christi for giving of her time and not inconsiderable talent on Thursday’s Guest Post Thursday Guest Post. She is a scott and we are very grateful that she consented to writing for our weekly series. While there is no pre-set theme or ‘organizing view’ being imposed on our Guests, there is nevertheless an understanding, on the part of Readers of all these Posts. The Doctrine maintains that it is possible to appreciate the world as the other person is experiencing it. Consider each Thursday an opportunity to see through the eyes of another, who, we are being given the advantage to know, is an Outsider(clark) or a Predator(scott) or a Herd Member(roger). Kinda like Doctrine practice, but with jokes and pictures and other things, but without, unfortunately team uniforms.

@) vidchats enjoyable chatation last night. Lizzi and I opened the evening on a more formal note, with her just in from a night on the town, still in evening dress. we were joined by Denise (going old school with audio only) then, a rather pleasant surprise…Jean!  followed by Laura  and zoe (all too briefly) and Michelle (from tomorrow) and finally Joy. fun, informative (we did hear from Christine who reported that she was either: a) driving on a van on vacation or 2) sitting in a Formula1 car, waiting to start the race…wasn’t too clear on that…

#) Cars

$)      dogs (Una, of course)

%)              video phones

^)                         and an enthusiasm  for an idea, (the Wakefield Doctrine), that overcomes all sense of what is ‘interesting to others’ (as opposed to) what is ‘interesting only to me’ (for a sleeker look to today’s 10 List…here is link to vid)

&)  (as I alluded to in this week’s vid entry (Item Number ^ above), I am constantly and permanently grateful for the fun that Lizzi and the 9 hostinae bring to this weekly exercise in finding the better side of life. In fact, I believe I made this point in a Comment to someone last week, to the effect that, though the idea of a gratitude-based bloghop is not unique, the attitude and fun that permeates the TToT is

*)  Secret Book of Rules (aka Book of Secret Rules)  I mentioned to L last night that there are more and more new participants this Summer. Which is a good thing. The questions about the BoSR are not un-expected and, in fact, welcomed.  ’The Book’ is full of useful, fun, potentially-backfire-and-make-you-look-silly, clever and, at times life saving rules, exceptions, provisions and conditions that can be employed in the process of writing a TToT list. The only caveat, is that there are (said to be) Seven GuardVirgins who hold the power to judge the appropriateness of a Rule. Lizzi and zoe are our resident experts on these….. er  personages. Best check with them.  (you know the most fun about a lot of this bloghop? it’s discovering and coining words and such. I’m thinking of Sarah who, unless I’m mistaken, has made popular the reference ‘SGV’…. seems like a little thing, but cool nonetheless)

()  as always, I gotta cite my personal sine qua non…. the Wakefield Doctrine

!))  Hey!  new people!!  free tip on the BoSR (aka SB0R)….SR 1.3   (which states, in part: the completion of a list of Ten Things, may, in fact, be included and cited as an item of that selfsame list; provided that it isn’t used every week and gets, you know, like old….)

Ten Things of Thankful

 

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keeping the post so un-cluttered! the Wakefield Doctrine video insert

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

here is the video that you are so incredibly intrigued by the alluring reference, back there at the TToT Post July 19 2014

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too many connections, not (nearly) enough conclusions the Wakefield Doctrine (clarks or 2ndary clarks only!)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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I want to thank Joy for her Guest Post Thursday’s Guest Post (‘scottian style!’)  as is clear both from the number of visitors (‘in the 100s’) and the Comments (‘OM-lol-G!’) yesterday was all that a good scottian Post can and should be… fun, exciting (‘…and a hint of come hither‘).    cool

Today is Friday. Friday is one of the days of the week that clarks love, fear and hate,

  • we love that it is neither weekday nor weekend
  • we fear that we will get swept up in hope (and we hope that we can let ourselves forget that we are letting ourselves be swept up in hope)
  • we fear that our expectations will be held against us

(Did I make it clear enough in the Title that today’s Post was really meant for clarks and any poor scott* or roger with an overly expressive secondary clark?)

Most of the time, at this point in a post-like-this-one, I’d be all qualifying and explaining and ‘hey-don’t-think-I’m-all-depressed-and-such. No, today I will not indulge in that. For one very good reason: a) the Title was clear enough for any Reader and 2) any of us who are not included in the ‘target audience’ understands the Doctrine sufficiently to not be overly concerned.

Since there is no such thing as a 265 word Post (at least not around here, anymore). Let’s end this Post on a positive note (lol, yes, new Reader that is a setup).

I was thinking,  about Sarah’s concern, expressed in a Comment earlier in the week, about (her) not ‘getting’/not-wanting-to-be-assigned-a-worldview/not-feeling-a-member-of-a-herd-that-she-felt-a-part-of this Wakefield Doctrine thing. I was trying to find the correct way to express the information that I knew would let her understand this thing and I found myself stopping (myself) and thinking, ‘stop it! there are three worldviews, remember, clark?‘. If Sarah were a clark, she would not be asking the kind of questions she is asking. then she must be either a scott or a roger. and, no matter which,  information is not what will help her with this matter.
The Doctrine tells us that we all live and think and act and feel and hate and fight and get confused in one of three worldviews. The Doctrine tells us that ‘it is about us, not them’.   This very simply means that, I need to put myself in her worldview in order to understand her question/concern/misunderstanding/feelings about the Wakefield Doctrine.
That is one of the implications of ‘the Doctrine is for me, not them’ that is often overlooked.   (I was talking to Michelle and Lizzi one Friday vidchat and, for god knows what reason, we got to talking about Michelle taking her father out to lunch. Her father is, according to Michelle, a scott. Michelle was saying how he seems to feel differently about going to a restaurant than she does, and I said, “when you are both standing across the street from the restaurant, the restaurant is experienced differently for both of you. the building (you are both staring at) manifests one way for you, the roger and another way for your father, the scott“)

…one of the main benefits that is the result of a proper understanding of the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine is that I know that you may be experiencing the same thing  I am, only differently and if I want to, I might be able to see the world as you are experiencing it.  This is not only the secret to understanding the other person, it is the secret to understanding my own life.

I mentioned a music vid. Johnny Winter died yesterday. So I’ll put up one of my favorite Johnny Winter tunes (from the early….yes, early) 1970s

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* don’t worry Christine… it’s** not permanent, your world(view) will re-solidify after a while, as you get healthy’ed-up…and, yes! of course you will retain some of what you found (in your world) during your couchtime

**  your clarklike aspect coming forward making you see the world as a, ‘my-god-everything-is-something-else-sometimes-but-the-same-thing-other-times-how-the-hell-do-these-people-get-out-of-bed-in-the-morning?!?’

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