Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine-

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

(saw this in a couple of sites, but I think the source is: www.tn4me.org

(saw this in a couple of sites, but I think the source is: www.tn4me.org)

 

Friend of the Doctrine zoe hosts this here bloghop here and every Thursday she challenges us to come up with a story that is Six (and only six) Sentences in length.

If I might beg the readership’s indulgence, this week’s Six Sentence Story is a snippet (a scenette, if you will) from Chapter 35 of ‘Almira‘. I’ve been trying to write this Chapter since last week and keep stumbling, like an overly eager 5 year tying shoelaces to the opposite shoe, yet so determined he just gets up and runs anyway, so I write and type.

(The set up: Sterling and Almira Gulch have just spent Sunday afternoon at Emily and Henry Gale’s house. Almira’s exceptionally gravid condition and Emily’s enthusiastically insipid efforts at being a host make driving back to the Baumeister’s a pleasure. Even if it is a dark and starlit December night.)

 

Home

“Remember that night last spring, at your father’s house, when we spent the night in the farthest corner of the back yard, and you read Gulliver’s Travels to me as we sat, together alone?”

Almira’s voice rose from the dark side of the front seat of our car, the small orange glow on the end of my cigarette a tiny fire, lighting the woolen hills of blankets she had gathered around her for our drive home through the cold Kansas night. The other side of the front seat was extra dark because Almira had taken the three blankets (that she made the sales manager give us when we bought the car right off the showroom floor), and built herself a …. not a nest.

While great intelligence is an asset in any man or woman, what set Almira apart was her passion, her will to love, to bring together, to fight when necessary and to protect those in need of a champion; despite the fact she was as near to bringing a child into the world as possible and still be able to run to the car after an excruciatingly tedious social occasion, what she had on her side of the Packard’s front seat was not a nest.

As a mother-to-be, my wife was not a member of the gentle and kind and complacent families of God’s creatures, building warm and dry nests, from pieces of branches and threads of straw meant for comfort as they brought new life into the world, trusting in nature and good fortune that she might be over-looked by the larger (and hungrier) varieties of God’s creatures at her moment of weakness.

Almira had taken the new, very expensive brown woolen car blankets and built a den.

*

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Tuesday -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘…of rogerian expressions, scottian females’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

megan-fox-joins-new-girl-as-jess-new-roommate

(new readers? note the throat tendons)

With all gratitude to Lewis Carroll and his timeless question, ‘why is a raven like a writing desk?’ I would pose the semi-rhetorical question: What does a scottian woman sound like when she tries to speak rogerian?

Now has never been a better time to…!”

See?! See what I have to contend with? A reality full of Doctrine remnants, relics, and large-sorta-like-in-the-movie-‘Alien’-these-scary-organomechanical structures?

I’m at work today, trying to earn a living. In the process doing the thing that I do, stumbled upon agent website and written across the front, the above (example is abridged) statement, accompanied of course with a very good photo of the afore-referenced scottian female.

If you’re here (and still reading), I’ll assume you’re familiar with one of primary (and, frankly, endearing) characteristic traits*  of those who live in the worldview of the Herd, the rogerian expression. It’s a form/style/idiosyncrasy of language totally specific to our herd-based brethren. Hell, I’ll go further and say that hearing a genuine rogerian expression makes it a leadpipe cinch that you’re dealing with a roger.

But a rogerian expression is more than simply a curious (and amusing) quirk in one’s choice of words. It is not an error (grammatical, rhetorical, any other -cal), it is a deliberate use of the ‘wrong’ words. It is also quite the aggressive act, because even, (and especially face-to-face), the roger employing the expression will exhibit not the slightest sign of self-consciousness or un-certainty. If anything, they will be ‘on high alert’. We students of the Doctrine are trained to watch the roger in a situation where a rogerian expression is being deployed, because we know how everyone else will react. rogers will appear not to notice anything out of the ordinary and the clarks and scotts will be laughing in delighted surprise. Don’t believe me?  Here, in the block quotes, are a few of the rogerian expressions that we’ve recorded.

…looking at his paycheck, a roger was heard to say: ‘oh man! Look at how much they deducted for aggravated security’

…talking about  a new DVD release for a movie: ‘no, I’m going to wait until they release the un-abashed edition’

…about to talk to a client: ‘I know I have to give them the bad news with the good news, I just won’t baby-coat it’

(and the most recent recorded rogerian expression)…

…writing in a blog about how egotistical certain real estate agents tend to be an unknown roger wrote: ‘ I have to say that, as a professional class, most agents are much too self-absorbent…”

 

But this post is not about rogers and rogerian expressions, it’s about scotts and their misuse of language. A scott will misuse language incidentally, on his or her way somewhere else.*  The key difference may seem subtle, as in both cases the malapropism represents an act of aggression. The rogerian expression is a way to exert force within the herd; the goal being to establish dominance over other herd members. Unlike the scott, rogerian dominance is a re-orienting of the focus of the members of the herd, as opposed to the starkly and very intimate one-on-one domination by a scott.

So what does this say about our scottian woman? You best bet is to smile and say, ‘there is no better time than this to do whatever it is you want me to.’

 

 

*  see?!! it gets under ya skin, I tells ya!

** if you said, ‘yeah 20 feet through the air, on their way for a permanent landing the neck of their unfortunate prey’…. gold star, yo.

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TToT -the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Black_Book_of_Lie_Detection1

This is the place that Lizzi created, lo, so many years ago*. Alone and without the present legions of followers, commenters and Facebookian friends, L. did what all people who make a difference do, she practiced the grat list exercise by herself. Every post, with or without comments from followers. That is the difference between a person that spots a trend and adopts it and the person who attracts followers by their act, attraction rather than promotion.

Anyway….

1)  this here bloghop here is surely Number 1 on the list this week.

2) the Wakefield Doctrine (blog and personality tool) because as I often say,  ‘dine qua non‘ (Lat.: ‘…don’t sing, ya don’t get to eat’).

3) Lets mention the Book of Secret Rules (aka the Secret Book of Rules) seeing how there are more and more new participants here at the TToT. Hey! New Participants! One of the things that sets this grat bloghop apart from all the semi-countless gratitude blogs is the Book of Secret Rules (BoSR). It’s there to use, people! Writing a post is difficult. Writing a gratitude post is even more difficult (for many of us). Writing a gratitude post when you’re like, really pissed off-and-it’s-not-one-of-those-turn-the-other-cheek-look-at-the-bright-side-of-life-days is nearly impossible and even trying only makes you madder. We got you covered. The Book of Secret Rules! ( zoe/Ivy is ‘go to’ person for all things Secret Rulish. She can also tell you all about those Seven Guard Virgins. But we’re walking here, people, walking. Running comes later) In any event, how cool is the Book of Secret Rules? Glad you decided to participate! The Book of Secret Rules (aka The Secret Book of Rules) even allows for something called ‘Items of Hypo-gratitude’. I’ve said too much. Ask z she’ll tell you all about it. (be prepared to dance…. lol)

4) Man! this is a slow list this morning. Time for some grati-photation!

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5) Cynthia is doing yeoman’s work with her new blog  all good things and…. and! coloring books! Yes ma’am, you did hear me correctly. Theys gots coloring books over at Intuitive and Spiritual. (and the best part is, it’s alright to color outside the lines). What you mean, you always colored inside the lines? Did someone say, “Hey! Lets take a poll!”

 

6) work… because it keeps me totally stressed out and thats why I never feel alone, what with the voice that tells me that I’ve totally screwed up and will never work in this town again. (New Readers! yo!  that’s a Item of Hypo-gratitude)

7)Almira‘  we are all the way to Chapter 35! New Readers? if you’re daunted by the prospect of reading 80k words or so to catch up, write a comment and ask for the ‘New Sparkling Cliff Notes’ !  I will synopsize it for you, if it helps. The thing of it is, I have the book in serial form over at Jukepop. and, being a good internet-place, they have a popularity poll system over there. If you want to go and vote for every chapter, I’ll personally tell you what happens in each. So head over to ‘Almira’.

8) Una and Phyllis

9) oh yeah! almost forgot!  As you know I joined a writers group, the (no giggling back there zoe and val! this is serious shit!  and no, I don’t sit next to Fabio) Romance Writers of Rhode Island. Anyway, one of the members (not a peep out of you sarah!) has a blog and is doing ‘Interview’ things and, being all ‘winner of the 2016 Class Spirit Award’, I was like, ‘hey! I’ll do it!’  Anyway, Amanda said she’d post my interview on the 12th of December. If you have a minute, head over to Amanda’s blog and tell her ‘the Doctrine sent ya’

10) SR 1.3 binyons! (new readers?  zoe will explain)

 

*  you know, like dog years… in terms of blogs and the internet this thing has been going on for like 7 years!

*

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Phuct it Phyridae -the Wakefield Doctrine-

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

images-2

For the record, today’s Post title is not intended to imply a negative outlook on the day ahead. My clever misspelling is in reference to the view on life that maintains that, ‘there are some things in the day ahead you can control and there’s a whole bunch of things you cannot’. Know the difference and things will go much more better for everyone.

(I probably should leave the ‘positive metaphysic’ to Friend of the Doctrine Cynthia over at her new blog ‘Intuitive and Spiritual’. She is naturally gifted in the teaching of methods for changing one’s perspective on life, for the better. I do T-shirts, videos while driving and the occasional funny neologism. In fact, you would do well to go over there, sign up and see the positive side first. I kinda like the more twisted view.)

So, anyway. Its Friday morning, I’m up and sitting here trying to sneak up on some word herds to capture and add to Chapter 35 of Almira and as the day is trying to get my attention. Kinda like a person leaning out of a 3rd story window as you walk along the street, gesturing and waving their hands somewhat wildly, you can hear that they’re yelling something, but the traffic noise makes it unintelligible. So you continue walking, with much less determination, because you can’t tell if what you saw was a warning, an invitation, a welcome or even specific instructions. Clearly there is something imminent and equally clearly this person, who, by the way is waving from a 3rd story window of the very same building that you must visit. All you have to go on is the waving of hands and arms.

So the thought came to me, ‘the challenge in the day that’s coming to light around me with the reluctantly rising sun, like the stranger on the other side of the bed following an exciting but indistinct night, a shape to the blankets that denies the possibility that you slept alone and leaves no doubt that soon enough you will find out, the challenge for me today is not in the answers I get, but rather lies in the questions I choose to ask.’

ok…back to sneaking up on some new words.

 

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Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine-

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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The week’s prompt is ‘Craft’. This being zoe’s Six Sentence Story bloghop where/when everyone is invited to write a story (of six sentence length, no more and no less) using or otherwise relating to the prompt word. You need to try one this week, it’s really quite… enjoyable.

Craft

“When does my Muse show up?”

The man sat at his desk in the late half of night; next to his keyboard a very ugly coffee mug sat in midst of an Olympic circle of tan rings, artificially-sweetened glyphs of late night and early morning writing sessions.

“Your inquiry is very important to us, please remain on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received,” the tinny voice, coming from the handset, interrupted the engagingly repetitive music that played in-between recorded messages of new opportunities and announcements of expiring offers.

The Company’s Offering showed up in his email the night before, the subject line saved it from immediate deletion, ‘What do successful writers have that you don’t? A Muse, we can arrange it, all you have to do is be willing to pay’!

Laughing at himself for being old, he clicked the link at the bottom of the email, ignored the three pages of densely-legal language and read the very last paragraph: ‘In exchange of my immortal soul, I will be provided a Muse’, listening to the silence in the house around him, all other life long since driven away by his insistence that his craft was his only worth, maneuvered the cursor over ‘Send’ and stabbed the ‘Enter’ with far more force than necessary; in the quiet house he thought, as if for the first time, ‘so when does the magic begin?

A quiet, gentle voice that somehow echoed in the pre-spoken silence of thought, whispered in his ear, “Granted.”

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