Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Well, I’m glad you asked! You know how, most of the time we come up with ten things that are a part of our lives in the week past and it’s not too hard to see how we should be grateful for these things? And we have all had bad weeks when we have more trouble finding the things that makes us feel grateful for our lives and sometimes in the course of these…. difficult weeks we will look at the bad things and say, ‘hey this is not the way I would have liked the week to have gone, but things are getting better’… lets call this ‘finding Things Thankful, the Comparative Approach’. …now hold that thought.
Thought I would share with you this tiny, little, story stuck in the lower right corner of Page A7 of Friday’s Providence Journal ( btw, an AP story re-printed in this paper)
Headline: Raccoon attacks woman in bed.
A Massachusetts woman is recovering after battling a rabid wild raccoon that awakened her in bed.
(lets, withhold the name, she’s been thought enough, ya know?), 73 of _ MA says she was asleep Wednesday morning when she felt something on her face. She thought it was her cat. She said the raccoon clamped onto her face, biting her chin and lip, and it left the room after she beat it with her bedside telephone.
(the rest of the story has to do with the cops showing up and trapping the desperate animal who then proceeded to dying in a hail of gunfire (my description, not the newspaper). The woman is being treated for rabies.
Any interpretation of the Book of Secret Rules says that: not being this woman is easily 3 Items!
1) not being that woman
2) not being 73 years old
3) not waking in the middle of a cosplay involving a recreation of a scene from ‘Alien’
4) in a more….normal, traditional recollection of the things I am grateful for, I am grateful for last night’s Vidchat… very much what this medium has to offer, i.e. an opportunity to meet new people and have an extended conversation with friends and acquaintances from, literally, all over the globe
5) I have, of late, been including some aspect of the winter weather, all of which have been intended to trick me into feeling better about the cold and the snow and the ice and the cold. This week, I will say that I am grateful for WD40! The snow we had mid-week was of the ‘wet snow’ variety, aka ‘heart attack snow’. Not fun, but not the end of the world, I just end up getting a better workout. Unfortunately, there was just the right combination of temperature and humidity that combined to result in snow that constantly stuck to the shovel. Big shovel full of frozen water, swing arms to the left, watch the shovel (still full of snow) continue its graceful trajectory into the snow bank. WD40 to the rescue. Sprayed on the shovel: instant no-stick-shovel
6) Reader response and participation to a ‘test’ on the Doctrine this week resulted in my acquiring a new and enhanced appreciation of the grasp and understanding of the principles of everyone’s favorite personality theory. It’s not that I haven’t always known that the people who found the Doctrine interesting, more it was my over-estimation of how badly written and organized the blogsite itself is… not enough to stop Jean and Dyanne and Michelle and zoe and Lizzi and them.
7) I should say something about being grateful for work, as the demands are increasing and I have had an opportunity to gain a more realistic perspective on the requirements of time involved in the work I do, I am grateful that I noticed that I need to re-apportion the time I devote to certain aspects of earning a livelihood, sooner rather than later.
8) I am grateful for the Book of Secret Rules (aka the Secret Book of Rules).
9) Not certain that I want to cite my very perceptive and discerning co-hostinae, suffice to say my respect is sufficiently established for me not to try and (further) capitalize on the aforementioned Rule Book. (as everyone knows, the BoSR, is meant to be used, not abused…unless it iss self-abuse, but even that has certain limitations not strictly defined, but left to the group consensus.
10) (not quite a repetition of a previous item) but I do want to shout out to Kristi for her thing today… she has chosen to participate in a competition of sorts…something about mothers and blogs ..or something, but I like Kristi so I will say, go! Kristi!! (and remember what I suggested about how to end your audition if the Judges do not demonstrate a reasonable courtesy and respect.
…ok back to work here…. will check back in later in the afternoon.
About clarkscottroger
OH my gosh glad that wasn’t me but what a funny way to describe such a dreadful personal experience–you have the knack!!!
jean
yeah… the weird(er) thing is how there is a commercial on for vision world or some such company where the joke is the woman thinks a raccoon is her dog and lets it in at night. ayiee
Still getting a hang of the Book of Secret Rules…think it’s time for a tutorial from you and Cyndi!!
Michelle
While we have Cyndi to thank for letting us know about the 7 GuardVirgins, the B of SR is pretty much the domain of TToT and Lizzi and myself see to be the more vociferous advocates for it’s use… think Lincoln/Douglas or may Daniel Webster and the Devil… or Lennon/McCartney… lol I will leave it to you to decide which of us are who
How does that raccoon thing keep happening to people? Don’t they have doors? What do they come in a doggy door or something? Cant tell you how many shovels I have sent into that graceful arc across the yard… cooking spray also works…Im often just too stupid or lazy to run in if I forgot to do it before I start… Thanks for the chat last night… I didn’t expect to stay but time got away from me… also appreciate your continued interpretation of the BoSR… 1-3 are definite legitimate items even without a creative interpretive bit of dance.
zoe
good ‘get’ (again!) the story did mention that they thought the animal came in through a ‘doggy door’
We had a squirrel in our bedroom for two days before we found out we had a squirrel in our bedroom. THESE THINGS CAN HAPPEN, ZOE! And I’m also thinking cooking spray would be a cheaper alternative to spraying WD 40 and doesn’t smell as bad, but hey, it worked!
You’re playing fast and loose with that Secret Book of Rules….
yknow I stand corrected… we had raccoons in the attic and once in the chimney now that I think about it… they are chewing little buggers I guess… Did you think you had a ghost or something for the first 24 hours?
More or less. My husband thought the cat had knocked over the screen in front of the fireplace one day. The cat then hung out behind our bedroom door for two days straight, hanging around some bookshelves, and could hardly drag himself away to eat or, well. anything else. Two days after the mystery of the fireplace screen, my son walked into our bedroom after school and ran out again, screaming that there was a squirrel sitting on the table in front of the window. I need to write a post about the whole story, now that I think about it.
Dyanne
cool… hey, you know what would be cool? a telephone Doctrine interview! we used to do them a couple of years ago. the way it works: I open the call in line (a conference call service that I use for the Saturday Night call-in) and you call in at a pre-arranged time and I ‘video’ the conversation! actually I video me and we can hear you on the car phone thingie… it’d be fun! no, not all Doctrine stuff…. a lot about blogging and things like that usually spend 20 minutes on the phone… final edit, of course whaddya say?
Dyanne
I’d never have thought about the cooking spray… damn this Y Chromosome!
…why thank you, and were still only dealing with the Official SBoRs wait till we get to the underground edition!
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AND SO HARD at the vision of you shovelling snow, and the shovel (and snow) flinging away into the snowbank. OHH I wish I could’ve seen it. Now THAT would have made the most excellent vlog.
WD40 is awesome. Nuff said.
(I’m glad not to be 73 but I do want to be 41)
((Kristi’s amazing))
Lizzi
I was talking to a woman yesterday whose 70th birthday was today… and (naturally) it got me to thinking about how relative age-number can be and how there is a 23 year old young woman… not trapped in a 70 yo old, wait, yeah, I guess I do want to say ‘trapped’ but not in a tear your fingernails off trying to escape trapped, more a ‘wandering around wondering how you came to be in this strange (though still familiar) town and what you must do next.
ya know?
Oh my gosh…that poor woman. Not only the AP, but you, with your massive readership, posted her claim to fame. Nicely done not giving her name…your are correct: she’s been through enough. LOL ;)
Have a perfectly-fabulous week!
Kris
thank you, I am grateful (clearly) for her ‘providing me’ with something to think/talk/write about, I would not want to be so ungracious to use her name which would add nothing to what I have and could possibly, on some level, cause her further non-comfort.
I’ve heard many uses for WD-40 (and it’s sidekick, duct tape), but hadn’t heard the snow shovel trick. Clever!
Kristi
I do not want to think about how tiring the shoveling would have been otherwise! Scoop-turn-tap-shovel-against-the-ground-turn-back and repeat 258 times! lol
Oh my word, that poor woman of the raccoon attack. Definitely worth all three thankfuls if not more.
Sarah
totally agree!
A no-stick shovel….pretty ingenious. I once read an article on the many uses of WD-40. It was pretty lengthy and I guess you’ve just added one more. I have to say that the visual I have of the snow shoveling experience is in cartoon fashion. Sorry!
As for the 73 year old woman and the raccoon! Lord, yes, be grateful not to be her…what a nightmare!
Sandy
I probably should keep to myself how much of my day-to-day experiences I do visualize in cartoon fashion! (I really do believe it would help, if more people did! lol)
Yeah, I definitely think those were legit items of thankful. Meanwhile, I would add a fourth – glad not to have a raccoon in my house in the middle of the night at all.
There was a test here this week? What the heck did I miss?
And clearly, Clark, you are the master of using the Book of Secret Rules/Secret Book of Rules. Quite possibly one of the funnest tricks in the TToT.
Lisa
yeah! you missed the Test? well, I would enjoy getting your response to it (the test) it’s right here-is-the-test As anyone will tell you, when it come to the Doctrine ‘you can’t get it wrong’ which is meant to imply that your reactions and thoughts on questions is useful and informative to all, so if you do get to the test, don’t read the Comments until you finish. If you enjoy that… there is a test that can help with determining your predominant worldview that I will be glad to point you at
Clark – Love the idea of WD40 and the shovel. I’d heard of putting PAM on a satellite dish to keep the ice and snow off, but not the WD40. I’d missed the raccoon story! In college, I once awoke in my garage apartment with something fluttering around in the dark. After turning on the light, I found a bat had entered the place. First thing I did subconsciously was to grab the cross around my neck! lol Do you know how much damage one can do at 2 o’clock in the morning chasing a bat around an apartment with a broom? Nicely done, my friend!
Rich
I do! and without even a flying bat as the premise for the destruction (remember getting up in the darkest morning hour (say, 2:30) desperate to find find the bathroom and getting lost (in said apartment)? great times! lol
So true about the snow and I found myself saying to Kevin at the end of the week to the thought of another snowstorm that it is just snow! Seriously, I am just beginning to resign myself to the occurrence of it and the cold, too. Hopefully, it will make spring’s arrival that much sweeter now. Again, have a great rest of your weekend now! :)
YIKES!!! I would lose my gourd if I found a raccoon on my face upon waking!! That is WAY worse than a bat. You certainly do get plenty of mileage out of the SBoR. Good thing you dedicated a thankful point to it. :)
christine
yes, I would like to thank the SBoR and all Seven GVirgins for this Award!
I am so thankful I don’t qualify on any of for first three either. How awful to be that 73 year old woman and wake that way? And have to be treated for rabies on top of everything. I’m also a huge fan of WD40.
Happy Sunday to you.
Linda
thank you (and the folks at WS40 thank you)… this is the first year that it has been necessary (to use) that’s saying something right there about this here winter here.
I feel so bad for that woman and I feel doubly bad about laughing at your description. Thanks for the laughs late at night.
Mary
yeah, I’ve gotten used to hearing that (bar rump bump!)