Christmas 2013: the 800 pound gorilla of Holidays the Wakefield Doctrine says, ‘what’s in your sock this year?’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)


You know how we say, ‘everyone does everything at one time or another’?  This is meant, of course, to help those of us trying to use the Doctrine in our lives, to stay focused on the concept that it is how a thing (or an idea, or a job or a hobby, a career or…a holiday) appears to the individual, given their worldview. The preferred way to express this is, ‘everything in life manifests for the individual as a direct reflection of their predominant worldview’. So a painting like, oh I don’t know,  ‘Christina’s World’  or maybe ‘Nighthawks’ won’t just be perceived differently to a clark than it will to a scott or a roger, it will be a different painting (for the individual).  Same painting …three different realities, therefore three slightly different works of art.

What does this have to do with Christmas gorillas? Everything.  While we will often say that, of the big three holidays, Christmas, is the most clarklike celebration, what we are trying to convey is the sense that the nature of the clarklike worldview and the spirit of giving traditionally associated with this holiday have a lot in common. Another way to say it, ‘clarks can ‘do Christmas’ better than the other two can, (provided we are talking about the self-less giving form of Christmas). This does not mean that scotts and rogers can’t  manage to pull off a successful Xmas! they do!! their’s are just a little…louder  and more  well-put-together.  (“…hey!!!! honey!! you know how you said you would handle the kid’s presents this year?? well…I decided we needed to do more… even if it’s 11:30  you got some extra wrapping paper??  the chainsaw I got Billy keeps ripping the paper…great!!   look at what the guys down at the shop got me…a belt!!  yeah ya know I betcha that is mistletoe!”)  or    (“ dear, you promised to help decorate the presents this year! how are we going to take Christmas memory photos in the morning if you don’t help me …no, dear, the book says that they would have put the   jasmine, champaka, lotus, lillies, ashoka, nerium/oleander, chrysanthemum, roses, hibiscus, pinwheel flowers, manoranjitam over the doorway, otherwise the incense holders would ignite the pressed leaves!  that’s good  and the roast pig is ready for the oven…be a dear and be sure to take the chutney out of the fridge in the morning and bury it next to the duck liver in the snow bank, no, I’m quite sure that’s how the Vikings celebrated… no, I’m pretty sure that’s not a Viking tradition…I don’t care if the guys at work bought it specially for you…. turn off the lights then, at least…. isn’t this beautiful?  wait!!  wake up the kids  no, it’s only 1:30  they’ve been asleep for hours…we have to get this for the family album… yes, of course they have to get dressed!! hurry before we lose the moment!”)

…this Christmas 2013, all of us at the Wakefield Doctrine are thinking of all you Readers ….you’re all, collectively and individually, the coolest gift a hard-working, well-meaning, ambitious blog writer could hope for…   thank you


The enormity of the Christmas holiday? (from last year’s Christmas Post) It has clear appeal and, in fact, resonates strongly with all three personality types:

  • clarks: who love to give…selflessly, and to an extreme, we will give everything that we (think) we have to give, in the hopes of becoming so much a part of the group…which is, in fact all, of you ‘out there in the world’…that we will no longer consider ourselves the Outsiders
  • scotts: who love to give because there is so much life and activity inherent in a celebration such as is manifested by Christmas, that all they can do is run around and bark at the lights (or bark using lights), chase down and herd those who gather together on this holiday, never stopping, until without warning, they drop into a sleep, like a 2 month old puppy… wherever they last stood, eyes closed, teeth showing, legs twitching as the chase continues in their dream with the occasional wag of the tale, showing their essentially good natures
  • rogers: a tradition and the participation of nearly all people, Christmas has everything they could want and to top it all off, there is the second most feared manifestation of ‘referential authority’ there is:  Santa Claus! …the gift giver who keeps records, verifies those records and rewards and punishes behavior, all by standards that, while thought by most to be understood, are never explicitly stated.

So to all our friends (new and old), those of us here at the Wakefield Doctrine say, ‘Yo Ho Ho’!

(from the provious year’s Xmas Post)… just so you can have the damn song stuck in your head for a week, here is a video of :


And just so you don’t get too warm and cozy, here are the actual lyrics:

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We’re happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland. (ok nothing too strange, a fairly attractive image, sort of what we remember about the song.)

Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
As we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland. (still safe, expanding the imagery to include the local fauna, the better to highlight local, seasonal climate changes, safe, safe.)

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown (?)

He’ll say: Are you married? (Who?  me?!, “Am I married”? what the hell are you asking that for?! …and who the fuck is Parson Brown?)
We’ll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you’re in town. (!?! The ground is beginning to feel decidedly spongy…)

Later on, we’ll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we’ve made, (Yes! The Plans! “…tell about the Plans, George! tell about the Plans…” )
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he’s a circus clown (No, there is absolutely nothing funny/charming/cute about a circus clown made of snow, standing alone, in a field, un-moving…at the moment)
We’ll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
Until the other kids knock him down. (Other ‘kids’? Exactly how old is this person, I mean he is talking about marriage for Christs sake!)

When it snows, ain’t it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We’ll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, (Yeah great lifestyle choice, eat still-warm animal flesh, kiss with our noses and give birth on an ice floe. Merry Christmas you weird-ass, singing 27-going-on-13 year-old)
Walking in a winter wonderland.



clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one


  1. We are the collective…

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:



      look at the bright side! now Joe will need to buy you a new phone! vid lunch here we come!

      • Vid lunch nothing!

        I liked the voices in this.

        Oh hey, as a Y-chrome, do you have any insight into the phonal conundrum? Others are saying go iPhone, which I hate on principle, but may just be digging my heels in, in spite of it having better functionality…

        • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


          the better functionality is part of the rogerian cool-aid… at best iPhones are ok but the people at work, those who are not omg Apple is the greatest thing ever and if you don’t join us, you’re just not good enough… plenty of phones that one might argue are better. Samsung makes a good smart phone…I have a galaxy S4 Phyllis has a Motorolla phone.

          • zoe says:

            Two cents? I agree…learning to love my galaxy s4.

            • Hey Zoe!!! …and Clark! Say what??? This was a test? Oh, Geesh.
              I thought I was getting a new family to go with my regular family, which is pretty much like my new family, unless I have misunderstood you. It wouldn’t be the first time I have misunderstood something. I barely know my left from my right! ho ho ho! xox jean
              (who signs her name in lower case because she likes e.e. cummings note, e.e. cummings did not always sign his name in lower case. Just part of the time).
              Off to wait fir the doorbell. The Publisher’s Clearing House Truck is in the driveway, and we love it when they bring balloons! :)

              • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

                jny (pronounced jin-nay?)

                lol (I think you’ll fit right in around here… you need to read today’s Post)… yeah. written before I read this Comment.

                • jny_jeanpretty says:

                  You got my number! xox junnngyyyyyy !!! we love that! That would be my husband Jim as well, who must never be left out of a Bogart or Cagney conversation or clip, :)

  2. ahahahahaha. I am hooked, visitor from Zoe. like all of you and identify with none, well, maybe the barking contingent, yeah definitely the barking ones!!! Merry Christmas! jean

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Welcome J

      it’s always interesting and new people add to what this thing of our becomes.. a scott, huh? ( predominant worldview is the context of and character of your reality)… your secondary and tertiary aspects are what allow for us to step out of the Doctor’s Examining Room Poster (‘the visible clark’…’know your scotts’ ‘rogerian personality types’ by Plaxo).

      scotts are fun and challenging (for clarks…in a very positive sense)

    • zoe says:


      LOVED this post clark…thanks to you as happy to have found or been found by the doctrine! Merry 800# gorilla to you and Phyllis.