humor | the Wakefield Doctrine

So rested he by the Tumtum tree, and stood a while in thought

June 14, 2010 By clarkscottroger

Jabberwocky/Genesis…Genesis/Jabberwocky…

Hey, this is the Wakefield Doctrine, don’t worry about nothin.

So if you will all hand in your reports from your ‘Today is Sunday, Take the Day off” assignment? The ones I handed out yesterday?…you don’t have them, do you?

Given the well-thought and subtle nature of Comments of late, it might be best to review. (To get all Vince Lombardi on your asses):

“Ladies, Gentlemen, this is a Doctrine”
Specifically, the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). The Wakefield Doctrine is, “a unique, productive and fun approach to understanding the behavior of those around us. Whether at home or at work or at play, with the Wakefield Doctrine why people act certain ways will be as clear as how they act. You need never again be caught by surprise when a loved one runs around yelling ‘pull my finger, pull my finger’. You will never again be subject to the sly machinations of relatives or co-workers who insist that “this really is for her own good, she is making me say this”

If you are new to this blog, a quick Overview should help make sense of the one-ring circus that this place most often resembles.
Starting at the ‘Home Page’, you will see a Table of Contents. A good place to start, in these Pages will be all the background, reference and supporting information that you could possibly need. You also see some maps and photos, those will eventually make sense. But mostly what you will see are the Posts.
This is where the Wakefield Doctrine is really to be found. If something residing in cyber-space could ever be thought to be living, then the living document of the Wakefield Doctrine is the sum of these Posts. These Posts were originally to be the collaborative space, the intersection of the thinking of people working on shaping the Doctrine into something that is less ‘quirky, idiosyncratic with a goloss of eccentricity collection of personal observations’ and more of a ‘coherent guide to a way of putting interpersonal relationships into a context that allows maximum understanding with a bonus of predictability’.
…or something like that…

But the Posts are of a single mind and the Comments are of a small, self-referential group of Readers. Referred to as Progenitors and DownSprings, the Comments began as input to the body of knowledge, prompted by the Posts. But to our collective surprise they (the Comments) became much, much more! The Comments have, in fact become the proof and validation of the Wakefield Doctrine.

So when you read clarkscottroger or DS#1 writing a Comment that seems to never end and is (parenthetically) as encumbered and convoluted as one of those insane bamboo scaffolding structures you see in National Georgraphic (Feature Story: Building in Peking) or when you stumble into the warm, comforting, familiar prose of a lengthy rogerian Comment that starts nicely enough but slowly pulls you down into a suffocating mass of judgemental words, like waking up in the middle of the night tangled in a pile of once warming quilts you will know the mind of the writer or, you get smacked in the metaphorical face by the braying, ‘why won’t you pay attention to me!‘, insistence that starts in a tone of welcome and races into the schoolyard arena of the scottian contributors. It will not take long, I guarentee that you will and say to yourself, “This Wakefield Doctrine is really spot on! No one is good enough to make this shit up!

And we are not…making this stuff up…the rogers are as friendly, and collegial and social and judgemental and ego-centric as the Comments make them sound; the scotts are as funny, life-of-the-party, confident enough to inspire people to follow them, buffoons and clarks….well I best let this thing speak for itself, yo.

So welcome to the Doctrine. We have one understanding and that is this: if you are still reading then you have the kind of mind that is capable of seeing things from different perspectives. It is also safe to say that you are quite capable of dealing with contrary points of view.

Oh yeah! we also have music videos that have been thoughtfully bloglifted from contributors-to-be and we have the still photos that may or may reflect on the Post or may just be there ( …and… ) because I liked their look ( …AND… ) and we have number of imaginary-cum-personal history characters including Janie Sullivan ( …soon to be Class Val…) and her friends at Millard Fillmore High and a certain janitor and a whole bunch of Friends of the Doctrine…hey Mel yo! (over at the Spatular)

So y’all come back now, h’eah?

(Mr. B?)

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: humor, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

no, no, no…I said Kill the cattle and

June 13, 2010 By clarkscottroger

…”some people call me Maurice…cause I speak of the pompitous of love…”

Hi! Good Morning to you all, I am so happy to be here. It is sort of the end of the week, so I will try to be brief ( …lol… ) there is a whole Sunday waiting for all of us out there except, of course, our friends in the Marshall Islands. Hey, Marshallians! dudes, ya gotta get to work! It’s not our fault you guys is on the wrong side of the dateline ( …no Britney, not for that reason… ). Don’t forget the lead underwear*

So, Sunday and almost all the proms are over and we know what that means…summer vacation time!

I can see that this is shaping up to be a placeholder Post, so let’s get right to the Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day… now Readers, if you will turn to the Chapter on…….( …no! it’s Sunday (SUNDAAY!!!!SUNDAYYY!!… ) (…Can’t we please skip the lesson today?… )
Well, Miss Sullivan if you can get your little friend Britney and whats his name…Jimmy to sit down for a minute, I think we might be able to accommodate them.

Alright. You all have the day off, (especially you clarks). No Doctrine, no reflection, no analyzin’ or dramatzin’… just take the damn day off. (…I mean it, clarks!) Just go out to the day and live**. If you are still alive tomorrow, come back and tell us about your Sunday.
There, that should make you clarks feel better, an assignment. For tomorrow’s Post I expect a full report.

So, class. This being the end of the year and even though you are not graduating until next year…here is some music so you don’t feel left out.

Disoriented enough? No? Well before you go running out to the schoolyard…

Some more appropriate music…(keep listening, you just have never heard the whole thing…scott)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryJZ63k4mjk

* serious explodage…you know…nah…you don’t want to know and we don’t care…

**live, i.e. Life, the thing that passes by as clarks get ready for the best of all lives; the thing that continually lets down and disappoints rogers, mostly in the quality of people sent to assist them in having the best of all…lives; scotts… they do gots the living life thang down…Socrates notwithstanding and assuming that eating, defecating, pro-creating and sleeping comprise the embodiment of a well lived life, scotts are ok on this score. (…on that score they have much in common with the highest form of life on the planet, dogs. Except not as subtle.)

Hey! Moe RRReece!

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: humor, Personal, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy

June 12, 2010 By clarkscottroger

Hey, yo clarks…it’s Saturday and the other two have the weekend starting. They both know this is a time when they are entitled and (in the case of rogers) required to relax and have fun and engage in all things not of the work week. You, (being a clark) know nothing of this…this is a day as are all other days. Sure, you may aspire to having the feeling of enjoying some ‘time off’, relief from the weeks organised work, hell you may even have a situation in which you have weekends off, but you and I both know that it is not the same (as it is with those other two, scott and roger).

So, am glad you are still reading. I hope you can continue to ‘set aside momentarily’ your inclination to dismiss this blog as something that you have already got covered in your own system of understanding (the world) and see if you cannot benefit from this Wakefield Doctrine thing. And it is to the clarks that I speak today…”no, scott, no special music videos and nothing of a sexy exotic nature”…just clarks stopping for a moment to see if we can’t maybe help each other out a bit. (As to our rogerianReaders), they are totally into ‘hey! it’s my weekend can’t you see how much I have earned the right to be even more self-absorbed than I am during the rest of the week”? lol Yeah.

OK. Post for and to the clarks. Hey! come back I have just started!

I could cut and paste stuff from the clarks page, about how we live in our heads, and think a lot and do not show emotion but we are past that at this point. There simply is not a roger or a scott still reading this…so it is us here. I know that you know that I know…etc…blah…etc. Fine we have established our credentials, identified ourselves it is up to me to offer something that you have not yet thought of, or have not been willing to think too loudly, much less try and discuss it with one of the others.
Fine. I am willing to play. Here’s the thing…we can accept our low self concept/esteem, in fact it is a point of pride with us…sort of like the person who has overcome a handicap…we own it and accept it and there is hardly anyone in the world that is qualified to discuss this topic (with us).
Sure.
Understood.
I get the knowing/thinking thing. And I am sure there are clarks who are better than I am at thinking/analyzing even better at describing and expressing what it is to be inside the head of (and therefore to live in the world of) a clark.

Difference is I have experienced the alteration of my clarklike nature. (Sorry no insult intended but for dramatic purposes I have to do the following, even though I know that you know). Notice and re-read what I just said…I have experienced…alteration…clarklike nature…I did not say:
“I have learned to…” or “I think differently”…I have not even said anything about “discovering something new, a key to understanding…”

I have experienced an alteration in my clarklike nature. Am still a clark( lol ya think? ) but have something in addition to…

So, welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)…I think we better go find those other two…roger is probably swelling up in emotional intensity…sort of getting wider and lower to the ground with the severity of their sincere and heartfelt nature…and the scotts lol god knows what they are up to!..I don’t hear any cries of torment, maybe they have found something old and worn to gnaw on…they are such simple creatures… but fun…

So come back when you are ready to Comment…we will be here…I think…ya never know…lol

fuck that greaser 50s rock and roll or country music that scotts so love that they turn into little pre-teen girls at the thought of, bless their simple scottian hearts…and roger’s idea of music…I’m sorry I do not believe that I am quite qualified, in an acedemistical sort of way to criticise the music that most rogers will beat people over the head with, for their obvious lack of qualifications to enjoy…

(oh before we go…) you know that just because we are self-conscious and mumble and all that sort of thing does not mean that we are not to found in the spotlight…I offer as a closing example a clark we can all be proud of…

Hold on…just discussing Doctrine matters with DownSpring#1…and she made a statement about my doing something better than someone else which resulted in my success at “being taken under their wing”…
…now you’re clark…you like the sound of that…”under their wing”…tell me I’m lying. DS#1 insisted that the choice of words was ‘accidental’ that she did not mean it that way…

If you want to ever have the slightest hope of doing that which you have been trying to do your entire damn lives, you must be prepared to accept the fact that it is always your choice…and it is not the words that matter, it is the fact that the words we choose are the instructions we give to the world out there…instructions as to how we are to be regarded…as clarks
But you are still reading because a) you remember that all people have the potential to be any of the three, a clark, a scott or a roger and b) this potential does not ‘go away’ or wear off it is always possible to add the qualities to what we are and finally c) clarks are the only one of the three that think that improving themselves is not only a good idea, it is a necessary idea…because of d) the central idea of a clark is way beyond the scope of this particular Post…but you have earned another video!!

…good clarkie… you made it this far! …take a penny, please

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7RCQhuRdhw

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: clarkscottroger, humor, Personal, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

our previously announced ‘Phuck You Pfriday’ has been postponed

June 11, 2010 By clarkscottroger

Sorry, folks but we will be postponing ‘Pfuck you Pfriday’ for at least another week due to emotional/temporal dislocation and a bunch of lazy DownSprings and Progenitors. (Except the most excellent Ms. AKH, yo. She has provided a example of what this new weekly feature will hopefully become and we are totally grateful for her…contribution. Word.)

Sitting in today, (as Muse/topic irritant), is Friend of the Doctrine, Ms. K. Gracemount who graciously provided a topic question to jump start your Friday Post. In conversation I asked her what single question would she ask if given the opportunity… (actually what I said was, “hey K, suppose I knew everything, the secret to a happy life and key to all knowledge and like that, what would ya ask me, huh”?)…and after consideration she said, “I would ask what would the universe have looked like before there were eyes to see it with”…
Damn! This was just what I needed, something to get outside of my own head. And the second thought was “what does the Wakefield Doctrine, (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) have to offer our Readers”? (Actually this is a lie. that second was my third thought.) My actual second thought was, “ok that confirms her as a clark, eh wot?” And I proceeded to make suppositions about her day to day reality based on the Doctrine, even though I have never been anywhere near her physical/geographical location. I was most pleased when she confirmed my conclusions, the ego involved in creating an actual Doctrine must never be underestimated. But we laughed and I immediately rushed to the computer and started this Post.

In all sincerity, while the Doctrine is clever and fun, if it does not offer a value to those who come into contact with it, then it is not worth the electrons it is made up of. It has been fun writing Posts and getting reactions from the Readers with the (balls) to write a Comment, but if this thing of ours is not strong enough to allow a first time Reader to come here, read what is contained in these pages and then turn off their computer and in the course of the day find themselves laughing, “damn, my family/friends/co-workers are just like those Wakefield people be sayin”…, then why bother?
My point is, I am still wanting to believe that the Wakefield Doctrine, for all of the cutsey names and and terms and catch phrases, might just be a valid way of looking at life, (and the people that are always in it). But back to our guest question…hey, she’s a clark, if you have to have her answer explained to you then you are a roger or a scott and therefore you have neither the inclination nor the interest in any answer. (I’ll leave it to you to decide which of the two is dis-inclined and which is dis-interested. You probably should care what the answer is because it does affect you, or at least you understanding of the Doctrine.)

So Doctrine Lesson of the Day: you should regard the question a person asks as a map of the world/reality they live in…really. Most people when presented with this perspective get all stupid and say shit like, “yeah well I gots you answer to the universe…right here” or “well I can tell that you are a thoughtful person and I recall a book a read written by a dead philosopher”, or even, “you know, if you would just stop talking so funny more people would like you and not stay away from you and you could be happier”.
But you are Readers of the Wakefield Doctrine and you would not be as un-imaginative as that, now would you? No, of course not. You would immediately say, clarks!! all this week its been clarks, clarks, clarks(just to make a cultural reference leap…following vid…excellent movie)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2qnb1_reservoir-dogs-intro_fun

Ok. Back to our Post…

…what the hell…we want ‘Phuck you Pfriday’…err what was that going to be? …and why is it not here?

Since I insist on asking. The idea for ‘Pfuck you Pfriday” actually came out of the following music video, (and a nasty early morning mood). And I just thought that it might be useful to have a day when I could put out there the things that really pissed me off. (And being a clark…) what came to mind was an early relationship gone bad. So I thought, “damn, I got me a forum of at least 45 people, don’t i have a right to, no make that ‘the responsiblity to’, I share my pain and disappointment and humiliation? You know…show ’em my rogerian and scottian side.
It really seemed like a good idea, but I ran out of time for that day and set it aside in a draft Post. And the next thing I did, being a fuckin clark, was try to get the others involved. (We clarks have so little ego that unless we can get others to join us in activities, we decide it is not worth doing. The Wakefield Doctrine being the exception to the rule, of course). Anyway, I notified the Progenitors and DownSprings about the idea and as indicated at the top of the page, and got… one response.
So, “Pfuck you Pfriday” has been postpo….hey! wait a minute!!! (Ms. AKH! close your eyes, I’ll tell you when to open them)….”Hey! Progenitors!”…”Yo, DownSprings!”…”guess what?”

Phuck you….

Oh…AKH, you can open your eyes now…lol

(Also shoutout to DownSpring#1 for the most excellent pick of videos…the lesson is, good videos make the Post)

Filed Under: Featured, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: humor, personality types, relationships, the Wakefield Doctrine

on a more serious note

June 10, 2010 By clarkscottroger

I admire what you have done here. I like the part where you say you are doing this to give back but I would assume by all the comments that this is working for you as well.

Just wanted to share the above Comment that showed up in my spam blocker. It was created by a roger. It is obviously not true because we do not get that many Comments. The number of Comments is not the point, the point the rogerian capacity for false sincerity. Now, before you can get all, ” hey wait! maybe they meant well, at least they were making an effort…and besides the term ‘false sincerity’ is a damn oxy-maroon”. I will say, ‘stop talking’, the point here is understanding the nature of rogers. Because the point of this whole Wakefield Doctrine is that by understanding all three, we understand ourselves. After all, we (clarks and scotts) have the rogerian potential within ourselves, we just got lucky.

I expect everyone here to recognise the clark, the scott (2) and the roger in this little scene. (scotts are just too damn easy to spot.) But today is about rogers, so ignore the little man in the corner of the room.

The thing about the rogerian propensity for flattery and fawning is that it is used (by the roger) pretty much as a tool. A method of enhancing their enjoyment of life. It is not a “quality” of their personality, it is the way they choose to interact with the other two. When (a roger is) interacting with scotts, this “projectile self-centeredness” is a way of making themselves (even more) available and when relating to clarks it is a way of decreasing their own discomfort by increasing the discomfort of another. The thing with rogers, the way they tend to see it is, “I feel bad, but if I can make you feel worse, then I will not feel quite as bad”. And, given that they are of the herd mentality, it is always, (did I say totally, without exception, every single goddamn time), always about comparing their own state of existence to others around them.

Fuckin rogers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbS9lTBn0kk

…alright hate to end on such an up-beat note but I do have to work…

The Wakefield Doctrine lesson for the Day? If you are a clark and you are around rogers…fuckin pay attention. It is not as comfortable and supportive as it sounds. And unlike what happens with scotts (if you get caught by surprise by a scott, it is so your own damn fault that you gots to laugh). But with rogers, it is almost irristibly tempting to think that you do not have to be on your guard.

Be on your guard.

Tommorow! New Feature!!! “Pfuck you Pfriday”! (oh boy)