Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is our contribution to the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Hosted by Denise, guided by the simplest of rules: use the prompt word and tell a story in exactly six sentenae
Prompt word:
SECURITY
There was something wrong about the deadbolt on the front entrance of the Six Sentence Café & Bistro.
Even allowing for the pre-dawn hour, the tall, thin man felt the mental-emotional dissonance that was often (‘…but not always’, the logical voice, every bit the five-year-old boy seeking security in repetition), a harbinger of a spontaneous view of the abyss; he laughed into the dark, the ultimate αποτρέπειν of the natural introvert.
The interior of the empty Café offered, to those so-inclined, a church-vibe: the reddish glow of the neon signs behind the bar suggested either a secret aquarium, all noisily innocuous or, closer to home, the church when he was in elementary school, specifically the incense and brass-smelling alcove where the votive candles were kept.
Long accustomed to letting random memory claim the attention of his conscious and otherwise reasonable mind, the Proprietor heard Sister Catherine admonish his sixth grade class in religion, “I won’t describe Hell to you, that is more properly the purview of the clergy;” the fleeting certainty that the Sister of Mercy was addressing him ignited a glow of pride that he imagined he could still feel, “However, if you are determined to try, let me suggest you add: you are the architect of the hell in which you will be punished.”
The smell of alcohol, ice and cigarettes embraced him like a drunken lover, the residual sensory input of a High Mass for those who believe they are alone in the world.
There was a sound from the one direction he was not looking and the tall, thin man felt a chill, like a herd of spiders wearing golf shoes running up the back of his neck and over his scalp.
About clarkscottroger
Excellent as usual, Clark. The scene explained in such sensory detail and the dual topic of indulgences of the body and those of the soul. 👏
thank you, Susan (immersion at the expense of narrative… eventually I will have both! lol)
You’ve included an incredible amount of detail into such a small amount of action. Well done.
ty N.
kinda fun to try to have the Reader caught by a scene
Interesting idea: “you are the architect of the hell in which you will be punished” Nice description of the chill as a “herd of spiders wearing golf shoes” running up one’s back.
god I hate spiders!
lol (I thought first of track shoes but wasn’t sure everyone would picture the certain type (from back in High School) that had significant metal spikes on the soles) Pretty sure golf shoes would prompt the image
I loved this line:
“However, if you are determined to try, let me suggest you add: you are the architect of the hell in which you will be punished.”
Thank you
This is one of the times when a mother’s “eyes in the back of her head” might have come in handy.
lol
there is that
Nice one, Clark.
Plus I’ve the cranking the vinyl…
since this a (clearly) a musical weekend*…
“…something wrong with…” if your body could talk, the 3 words used to describe your stomach… hooked to a bungee cord doing a deep dive.
Nicely appointed scene.
The last line, still giving me the heebie jeebies!