Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop post for the week.
The host is Denise, who requests that all participants employ the week’s prompt word and have the sentence-count be six, (and only six).
Previously, in the Whitechapel Interlude…
As surely as ‘Let there be Light’ set the stage for the world of Man, dichotomy was given a ruling seat to exert a power, a power beyond all else. It lessened the grip of the creator and, in doing so, allowed for a world that included a country He apparently had neither interest nor inclination to influence, the night. Other, that is, than to assure all that the night would eventually end. Ever the gracious, if not accommodating host, Cyrus St. Loreto nodded his guests to be seated at precisely 10:23 in the evening.
Prompt word:
BLANKET
If there is a place in the afterlife, oft referred to in the vast catalogue of Bibles favored by the Sons of Eve, as Limbo, I am certain of one thing: no matter what the conditions endured by it’s hapless denizens, the time of day is always two-thirty in the morning.
Wandering out into the courtyard, the moon, an impotent jailer, following above, I hoped to walk away from the growing dread that imparted an unwelcome weight to the blankets piled in the chaste center of the over-sized bed that awaited me after dinner and conversation; shrugging them off, a quiet woolen ecdysis, I sought peace from my mind in the night air.
The evening spent with the Count St. Loreto and Sarah had been all one would expect as guests of a man who had an air of the cautionary tale, the stuff of fairy tale peril, grounded more in the world he inhabited than the man himself; from apéritif to digestif, dinner on our first night at the castle was a temptation to indulge in at least one of the seven deadly sins.
The Count was charming and gracious, yet the weight of fatigue from our two day journey grew until finally it became obvious to both our host and my companion, “Brother Anselm, forgive me, you and Sarah have been such a delightful break in my all too routine existence that I’ve indulged my own pleasure at your expense; I will have one of my staff show you to your rooms.”
Now, unable to sleep, my mind, like a brutish merchant crossing a sleepless desert, whipped at me with recollection of the final moments of the evening, shadows growing in defiance of the now-guttering candles, when Sarah turned towards our tall, dark host and smiled, “While I should retire, having endured the same ordeal as Brother Anselm, for whatever reason, throughout dinner, I’ve been thinking about a certain passage from the bible, Proverbs 23:1-3, are you familiar with it?”
Cyrus St. Loreto did not return her smile, rather he laughed quietly, as if to himself upon finding an irony made all the more rare by the passage of time, “Why as a matter of fact, the Book of Proverbs is one of my favorites; an old friend, a very long time ago, was fond of insisting it contained the secret of remaining human despite what we learn of humanity.”
About clarkscottroger
This episode works so well with the first person narration, which takes our hand and walks us through the foreboding night, especially the first sentence – which acts as the intro for what is to be told.
A super creepy and gothic Six, firmly rooted in the realms of night!
Thanks man.
1st Person is fun but can be challenging (for me), especially when there is (to be) interaction with characters, but not as an opening line.
you’re still the king of the hill. great six
Thanks, man.
You got yourself an excellent serial established over to the ‘Latte.
That was a wonderful story, loved the tie to the Bible.
The secret of remaining human despite what we learn of humanity — excellent.
thankee, Miz M
Nice way of putting the need to get a breath of fresh air: “I sought peace from my mind in the night air.”
Those verses of Proverbs 23 do describe well the ominous nature of that dinner. Good description of Proverbs itself: “it contained the secret of remaining human despite what we learn of humanity”
Hey, thanks, Frank. (Funny how the writing thing develops and where ideas come from and, for that matter, how they manifest.)
A gentle pause, but with an undercurrent of menace… how good this is!
Oh, she got him good. And his take on proverbs containing “the secret of remaining human despite what we learn of humanity.” Icing on the ominous cake.
The real challenge here* is maintaining the tension in the less-pronounced aspect of the story, to wit, the Hunter Demon that currently is a resident in the corner of our Sister Sarah’s mind. That will surely make any conflict between her and our Count even more interesting.
Example: Chapter [16]
* in the Flash Serial Stories, or ‘how to learn to write better and better while having fun’**
** I trust there is such a thing as a Flash Novel, if not then this group is surely the place for it to start
Yes indeed, ominous undertones throughout.
And the idea of the time in Limbo always being 2.30 in the morning is genius!
…at least it’s not 3:00 am! surely the most alien of times in a human day
Perfect way to bring that verse from Proverbs into your SSS. The way you are able to embed portions of thoughts into your stories that leave your readers considering so much more than the actual story is skillfully done. Once again you had me checking the dictionary to retrieve the meaning of a word I may or may not have known at some point in time, but tossed aside as insignificant to my future. 😏
Thanks, Pat.
Yeah, that (embedding thoughts and ideas not necessarily directly related to the plot) is just that… a slowing down on my part to see if there are breadcrumbs I may have missed as I grope forward in writing this tale.
lol apologies, that word …was more an overlooked relic of a previous version of the story (though to, as Hugh Latimer once said**) ‘tell the truth and shame the devil’ I was thinking of you as I found the word, i.e. ‘What a cool word! Pat will get a kick out this one!’
It was less, standout-odd in the earlier version.
*I know, right?! I’m doing it again!! Hugh Latimer
(Hey, Pat! May I copy and paste your comment for my own?😆)
I like Pat’s adjective “skillfully”. The mood/tone of your 1st speaker established (in part) using simple words – wandering, moon, over-sized bed, blanket.
I thoroughly enjoyed the scene between Cyrus and Sarah. Proverbs quote perfect.
Sarah’s “guest” surely will “express” herself more adamantly before Anselm and Sarah return?
Fitting music vid 😁
they should, maybe not Patrick Swayze/Whoopi Goldberg or Uma Thurman/David Carradine of repartee, but definitely fun to write.