Month: November 2021 | the Wakefield Doctrine

Tuesday -the Wakefield Doctrine-

November 30, 2021 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Here’s a reprint that’s fun for two reasons: a) it’s about clarks(Outsiders) and 2) it, written quite early, (July 2013), it contains a line that caused me to say to myself, (not certain who I was addressing*), “Hey! You will develop ‘the Everything Rule’ to account for that aspect. Still a couple of years in your future. But, because you went ahead and did, we totally know, not only what you meant, we appeciate the implications. Wait, sorry, is this thing still on?”

lol

Best we be bringing on the reprint, non?

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

We all now know that the Wakefield Doctrine is fun…these last few weeks (especially the weekends), bear ample witness to this aspect of our personality theory.

We all also know that the Wakefield Doctrine is unique.

But the productive quality of the Wakefield Doctrine, Is it useful? Does it aid in (one’s) effort to develop and self-improve oneself? That is a totally unequivocal ‘yes! it surely does!’ But none of these three rhetorical questions are the focus of today’s Post! The focus of today’s Post is, as our title clearly states: with progress comes resistance.

So here’s the thing. I’m a clark. I have always wanted to do better. Improve myself. As a child (ages 5 through 17) it was about improving in order to meet (and exceed**) my parents expectation. From my grades in school to my activites in high school, there was always a part of me that wanted to do better. Now, you rogers out there are thinking, ‘ok, good premise, promising start but you need to clarify make it clear what all this means, otherwise. you’ll lose your audience‘. Alas, there is no answer clearer than this: I wanted to do better and to make my parents and family proud of me.

Now this ambition, especially in a child, is very common and not unusual. Children want to be valued members of their families and such. My problem wasn’t that I was un-able to try and make my parents and family proud of me (and later in life, make my friends and girl friend/lover/wife proud). No, my problem wasn’t that I was un-willing to try! The problem was that I couldn’t deal with success.

When a clark succeeds, (in doing more, acting differently, changing lifelong patterns) something happens. When a clark manages to do what no one thought for a second they could do (no one but the clark in question). When a clark changes and acts and feels and interacts with the world on a different level, in a different way, there is resistance. Resistance from friends, resistance from work, resistance from family. This is not to be too metaphysical …just resistance. (Longtime Readers of the Wakefield Doctrine will remember a story I related about how, in high school I asked a girl out, got stood up and, in my response to this very, very common life-event, sealed my fate as a clark,
Well, there is a part of the story I left out. Before getting stood up, I had to ask to borrow the family car. I was successful in doing so. And I felt really good, really…normal. It’s what teenage boys are supposed to do. But then I said something to a sibling, words to the effect, ‘hey, you’re going to have to start dating soon’. clarklike readers are cringing at this point, so I will move on. rogers and scotts? hold this scene in your mind.)

My little description about the resistance of the world to change is nothing especially insightful. Everyone encounters this resistance to change, scotts do and rogers do. It’s just that for clarks, there is a moment, a moment when the world pushes back and says, ‘whoa there. hold on now. don’t you think you’re getting a little too big for your britches‘ and, for many of us…. for me, including the unpleasant outcome of the story I am using as an illustration, there is a feeling that comes back on us…’they’ve been humoring me, all of what I thought was a better me…they are laughing‘

It is not a good feeling. (the Progenitor roger coyned the perfect expression: “my head swelled up and my face fell”).

Most of the time, we put up a brave front and at the first opportunity, run and hide.

But this is different. This Wakefield Doctrine is different (and fun and useful). I still have those moments of thinking that I am acting the fool, that I am not changing the world for 2 or 7 or 29 people. I still have the stomache that comes from thinking… “you’re being such a clark“.

But this is Doctrine thing is different. I mentioned this to another clark… rogers and scotts still reading? this will not make sense…at any rate, I was doing something exuberant at the Facebook…I think it was writing something I thought was especially clever when Kristi was having her blog critiqued by the blogging bloppers.. there came a moment, when I pushed the envelope and that part of me whispered, ‘now you’ve done it, you’ve gotten offensive and stupid. you have alienated everyone‘.

The old feelings started to rise, but (for the first time in my life), I found myself thinking, ‘well then, I guess I’ll jusy have to get another set of everyone’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine.

** it’s always exceed, isn’t it?

*given the flexibility of our chosen view of reality and the world and such, no telling who…. us the author of the post or us, the collective Readers of the reprint or, even, us from some point further up the timeline…

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: the Wakefield Doctrine, three personality types, Understanding Human Behavior

TToT -the Wakefield Doctrine-

November 28, 2021 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Quick overview: gratitude bloghop created by Lizzi in 1982. Goal was to list ten items in (the writer’s) life that has inspired, incited or otherwise manifested as the psycho-emotional state of mind commonly referred to as ‘gratitude’. The arena available for introspection being everwhen, from the previous seven days back to the spring of the third grade. And all points in-between. The ‘hop’s name is thus derived: Ten Things of Thankful (aka TToT)

This week, we focus on work and projects. (Because, if’n we didn’t have work and projects, jobs and responsibilities, we’d be nothing better than Adam and Eve in the alternate timeline where a certain apple was not offered. In other words, we’d be dybbuks with keys to the car and an unlimited credit card.)

…whoa, what the heck?

Sorry about the rhetorical stumble, (much like, when you’re going down the basement stairs and, feeling so confident you don’t bother with the light and on the last step the universe decides to mess with you and you think there’s one more step (down)…and there isn’t. Here in the writerverse, we’re kinda like that. All the time).

For this week, our Grat List:

1) Phyllis

2) Una (hostess)

3) the Wakefield Doctrine

4) serial stories ‘the Whitechapel Interlude‘ and ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf‘

5) Six Sentence Story the place for a quick read of a remarkable variety of story-ettes

6) End of the calendar year at work, which is mostly devoted to planning for the next. In particular, spending time on Continuing Ed. courses. Here in Rhode Island and Connecticut, it amounts to 24 credit hours. Heck, when I was an undergrad in a real college, that’d be, like, almost a minor (degree).

7) More tomorrow on the Great Burning. Photo at Grat 1: initial pilot run to dispose of a couple of acres of tree debris from the Great Forest Clearing of 2021. (A lot in common with driving a car in the snow. You just gots to convince yourself that the forces you’re invoking or otherwise getting involved in are not irreconcilably un-controllable.)

8) something, something

9) Everyday technology. Specifically, phone video cameras. I mean, come on, I grew up in a time when cutting-edge advances in technology included the discovery of the signal-enhancing effects of aluminum foil on rabbit ears. (The metal ones, not the adorable, floppy kind).

In any event, I was out on the deck with Una about 8:15 this Saturday evening. It had been dark for, I don’t know, five or six hours. Anyway I heard a sound in the dark sky… Ghost Geese! ayyiee

10) Secret Rule 1.3 from the Book of Secret Rules (aka the Secret Book of Rules) which states, in a nutshell: making it more than three-quarters of the way through a grat list is, in and of itself, something to rightly feel grateful for and, therefore, eligible for inclusion in selfsame list.

Music

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: the Wakefield Doctrine

Black Friday -the Wakefield Doctrine- primal reprint

November 26, 2021 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Welll!! You gotta read this here reprint here.

It’s from, like the first year of the blog. November 24, 2009, to be precise. And it’s basically an interview post. With a (self-identified) scott and a roger.

Check it out

…(That was a refreshing little naplet, blogorically speaking. But now, back to the work at hand…)

Welcome! Especially to our new friends in Australia, and Israel and of course, our friends in Slovenia!

Today we have kind of a special treat. Two of our Downsprings¹ are helping us out by participating in a little… T&A? err, PTA?, I got it! Q&A!

We have had people tell us, after a recent Post(…breaktime…), that they felt they got a better understanding of the Wakefield Doctrine when it was discussed in a context that was ‘applicable’ to everyday life. (Yeah, like in everyday life people decide to sneak up on a certain class of person and do something indefinable to them and then report back a score). Sure thats an everyday application in, maybe say, Zanaxville.

Anyway, we have a set of questions about the Doctrine that was presented to Joanne and Glenn (our Downsprings) and their answers are recorded in the following interview.

A little background first.
Glenn is probably the leading scott in terms of possessing both knowledge and (a practical) understanding of the Wakefield Doctrine. As a matter of fact, he helped instigate the process whereby the Doctrine was taken out of the realm of oral tradition and brought into the ‘real world’ of this blog. You will have to make allowances for him, after all he is a scott.
Joanne comes to us from the interested observer category, she has been witness to over 25 years of discussion and development of the Doctrine. Enhancing her position as a Downspring, Joanne offers as much a normal persons interpretation and application of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers as we have in the group. She is a roger, but with a skepticism of the whole thing that helps us stay in touch with the thinking of the everyday person-on-the-street, in terms of applying the Wakefield Doctrine.
(They are both behaving quite well and are deserving of our respect and admiration.)

(To the interview):

Which of the three are you?
[Glenn]     Scott
[Joanne]    I am predominantly, a Roger.

What is the ‘best’ single positive trait or quality do you have as such?
[Glenn]      I’m wicked funny
[Joanne]    I am sensitive to other’s feelings.

The most negative single characteristic or quality?
[Glenn]     I can be reckless—verbally and behaviorally
[Joanne]     I pay too much attention to detail, although, sometimes that is a positive trait.

Which trait or personality quality do you have that you feel is most mis-understood by people of the other two forms. (For example: clarks don’t get this about me; or rogers don’t get this about me.)
[Glenn]     Clarks don’t understand that I act mostly out of a desire to have fun—not out of a desire to hurt anyone. Rogers don’t understand anything. They eat the grass and wait to be killed. They LOVE to feel like victims, so they perceive everything a scott does as “cruel”—and then they have a feelings festival—hurt, angry, sad, –the equivalent of a roger orgasm. Fuck them.
[Joanne]    The attention to detail is always misunderstood by the Scott that I am around often. Just try observing me and the Scott trying to put something together. We were putting a shed together one time, and I was standing in the corner frantically reading the directions while the Scott was banging nails. I kept telling her to stop..and finally convinced her to read the directions first. I seem to be less sure about discerning clarks from the other two. I’m not sure which people I know are clarks, so I can’t comment on how they misunderstand me.

If someone were to ask, ‘what is the surest way to spot one of your kind in a crowded shopping mall?’ what would you tell them?
[Glenn]     Anyone talking to more than one person—and holding their attention.
[Joanne]    I’m not sure about that one.

You are at the funeral of a friend and are asked to say a very few words, complete the following:

My friend was a clark and I felt…
[Glenn]     that he mostly enjoyed my company—and was more loyal than your best dog ever.
[Joanne]    ummm…let me think about that for a while.

My friend was a scott and I felt…
[Glenn]     an attachment to him based on competition—which evolved into respect as the years went by.
[Joanne]    I will miss my friend for her ability to just wing it in life

My friend was a roger and I felt…
[Glenn]     guilty that I didn’t indulge his incessant need for emotional validation and support. I feel bad. He thinks I found him to be a pain in the ass. He’s right.
[Joanne]    I will miss my friend for … so many, many, reasons. There were so many wonderful things about her..thoughtfulness, empathy, sensitivity….etc.

Finally, tell us what you think the practical value, if any, of the Wakefield Doctrine is.
[Glenn]     When rogers piss me off, I remember that they are rogers and cannot help it. They are doing the only thing they can do.
[Joanne]    It’s entertaining and I think if we know which type someone is, it may help us to understand their behavior and possibly not take some of their behavior personally.

(Now say good night to the Sloveniaannnns)
[Glenn]    How do you say “fuck you” in Slovenian?
[Joanne]    Good Night, Slov

Wellie, wellie, well. Was that not nice? There is much here that can be discussed and elaborated upon. But the primary goal was to help the Reader ‘hear’ the Doctrine actually applied to a situation that all of us might experience. I am sure there will be questions.

There is a space below (this Post) for your Comments. Do not, I repeat, do not be shy or bashful. We would love to hear your thoughts or questions. If you have any ideas for an extension of the (above) series of questions to our Downsprings, by all means ask.

1) Downspring is a term to designate a member of the group of people made aware of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers by one of the Progenitors. In the context of this blog, there are three Progenitors and four Downsprings (Glenn, Joanne, Denise and Phyllis) all seven people have full access to the blog and creation of the contents.

obviously this is the only appropriate tunage

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: relationships, self-development, the Wakefield Doctrine

Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine-

November 25, 2021 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.

It is hosted by Denise.

Execution according to the Rule of Six: no more, no less than six sentences in a story to be eligible.

Previously, in the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf…

Ian Devereux, a man in a world that barely avoided being intolerable by virtue of its capacity to surprise him, is on his way back to the German town where his client’s ex-husband died. His professional opinion of foul play, bolstered by an interaction with a nun by the name of Sister Aclima, has forced Ian to suppress his instincts to go it alone and accept the aid and assistance of Anya Claireaux, a woman of drive and purpose untethered by conventional social constraints or standards.

Prompt word:

LOST

I knew how it felt to kiss an angel, a genuine, gravity-defying, bliss inducing woman with eyes like suns unsuccessfully restrained by morning’s clouds. This surprised me very little, as the day went from unexpectedly good to supra-naturally pleasant when a text message interrupted the drip-by-drip torture of the TSA gauntlet: ‘Not big on waiting; Go to Gate 13; Sent Omni Corp’s East Coast jet to take you, those two Interpol suits and Miss Whitelaw directly to Wiesbaden; luv A.C.’

As much like a commercial 777 taking off as a Bach cantata is to open auditions for the Blue Man group, the private jet, with only the gentlest of pressure in the leather upholstery, broke through Providence’s grey-solid cloud cover into a sky dark enough to hint at stars.

I was about to ask her name when I felt my seat disappear and my stomach muscles suddenly clench, but not in the good way, as the G700 drove itself straight down towards the featureless blue sea at Mach .95; provided, that is, the glossy brochure extolling the virtues of Gulfstream’s latest business jet was accurate in terms of top speed.

The plane’s engines howled in heroic electro-mechanical defiance, while the human constituency, lost in unconscious regression to the moment of birth amid cries of effort and triumph, filled the cabin with sounds of surprise and fear at approaching mortality; for my part, I felt the peace and pleasure of real (or imagined) divine congress, my body settled into the eight-way adjustable massaging leather seat as a non-celestial bell-tone signaled a message from the flight deck.

“Sorry about that little impromptu bit of aerobatics, folks, not likely to happen again, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d go ahead and keep your seat belts on; our estimated time of arrival in Wiesbaden remains 4:44 pm

ed note: Being a fan of Ford Mage‘s notes on the writing of a given post, I thought I’d indulge just briefly. This week it was the music that changed something about the story. By Wednesday midnight I had the action laid out. My challenge* was to create (a) First Person POV reflection on a dramatic series of events. Fine. Worthy goal. My first musical choice was J S Bach ‘Jesus bleibet meine Freude BMW 147‘ And it worked.

(Damn, I forgot to mention: the music I use in my Sixes, more often than not, are as much background music for the writing as it is for the Reading. Sometimes the music will suggest the story, most times the (proper) music encourages it. As it was with the Bach.)

But then, this morning, I sat down to do a polish ‘n post. I remembered the story I’d written but had difficulty seeing Ian in it. Fortunately, half a lyric and a shard of melody popped into my head. Knew the album but not the song title, so naturally I listened to the whole thing. And it was better music for me and this particular story. (Thanks Spira**)

There you have it! A glimpse into the Felliniesque kitchen of the Six Sentence Café and After-hours Bar

* more often or not, while keeping the plot trajectory in mind, I’ll find a challenge for myself, more often than not it boils down to, ‘Can I incite this feeling in the Readers?’ or perhaps merely simple action in parallel with subjective reflection…. surely we all do that prior to writing?

** so, at some point after last week’s Six I saw a comment from Spira that included a reference to Jethro Tull. Apparently those chrome pinballs never stopped moving, ringing bells and lighting lights

Filed Under: Featured, Psychology, the Wakefield Doctrine Tagged With: Six Sentence Story, the Wakefield Doctrine

“Traditional T-Giving Post” -Wakefield Doctrine- 2 posts in 1!

November 24, 2021 By clarkscottroger

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Seein’ how tomorrow is Six Sentence Story day, (great installment from ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf’), we thought, ‘Yeah, but one ignores the highest of all rogerian celebrations at their own peril!’

So here’s our Traditional T-Giving Post.

And ….and!! we’ve found the original Thanksgiving post! As a result, beginning this year we offer, (as the rogerian expression maintains), ‘The Unabashed Edition.’

Traditional Post (November 23, 2011)

Thanksgiving Day¹ is the holiday that, if we did not already know that there exists a personality type referred to as a roger, someone would have pointed it out to us. Perhaps the task would have fallen to an Art Professor in a land grant college somewhere in the Midwest. We can imagine the epiphany …in the middle of the night (during his sabbatical devoted to the study of the works of Norman Rockwell),
” My god! Norman’s work is not just a robust and healthy celebration of paedophilia! He has been trying to tell us to transform our culture! …for all good Americans to come forth and show their appreciation of patriotism, consumerism and child-abuse!!”

We have, from time to time, been accused of indiscriminate use of hyperbole in these pages, however, just consider the astounding level of pervasiveness of the ‘Holiday of Thanksgiving’. It is not enough to close the Post Office system and all other government agencies², no it is not. This Holiday actually attempts to compel normal, rational, adult people to sit in front of the television and watch a Parade involving giant balloon representations of out-of-print newspaper cartoon characters! Who the hell watches the Macy’s Day Parade on purpose?!? Throughout the entire morning of Thanksgiving, you simply cannot escape the pageantry and spectacle, broadcast live and has, as the ’emcees’, News Anchors from the major networks morning news shows! (“Thats right, Matt! That’s Kenny Chesney and Taylor Swift on the Snoop Dog float… it says here that her eye makeup took 12 hours and 6 pounds of aluminum foil chips to create!!” ). Like a Hieronymus Bosch painting done in ‘live-action’, the whole country is exposed to hours and hours of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade… more than 3 hours of parade music and floats (” … hey, Anne isn’t the next float from your hometown”? “That’s right Al! it’s my old Alma mater, the East Clydesdale High School Marching Band playing a medley, ‘Straight outta Compton’, ‘Fuck tha Police’ and ‘Gangsta Gangsta’ )

Why do we say Thanksgiving is the most rogerian of all holidays? Simply because Thanksgiving is about the how, not the why. As a cultural event, this particular holiday tells it’s participants exactly what to do; what to eat and how to cook it! Taught from childhood, every member of our culture knows precisely how (and) where they are expected to spend the Holiday! Thanksgiving is about family! And if there is anything that rogers fake better than anyone, it is the joyful appreciation and celebration of the family.

But don’t just take our word for it! Following is an excerpt from a Post of the Wakefield Doctrine that was written over a year ago! (and nothing says credibility better than…age)

We all know that “the holidays” are experienced differently by each of the three (clarks, scotts and rogers) and therefore the demands of the celebrations are a very effective illustration of the nature of each. But if there was no Thanksgiving, a roger would have invented it! (Actually, they probably did). Think about it! A holiday celebration that is:

based on a factual historical event (sort of)

the protagonists (of the story) are religious refugees, persecuted and driven away, together, on boats

food, specific food and a not-to-be-deviated-from Menu

ritual menu and a full schedule of events

shopping in herds, as the climax of the celebration (Black Friday)

a moral taught to the young: we came here, those strangers who helped us were different, (…we had a feast and wiped out their culture)

I will be so bold as to suggest that there is no more rogerian a holiday than Thanksgiving! And since we are on the subject of rogers and holidays, (sort of), is there any human activity that is more one sided, over-hyped, ‘expectations-sure-to-fall short’, (not counting sex on the eve of a relationship breaking up), than Parades? I don’t care if you’re a trombone player in the middle of the herd or someone sitting in their living room watching it on TV, nothing says roger better than Parades!

* As a result of the popularity of (Zola’s) letter, even in the English-speaking world, J’accuse! has become a common generic expression of outrage and accusation against someone powerful

1) the Day that the indigenous people of the North American continent made a gift of their lands and cultures and cuisine to their new European friends.

2) you do know about the Post Office and rogers, don’t you?

Original Thanksgiving post (November 24, 2010)

As everyone knows we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving here in Oceania. Once a single-day holiday, calendar-creep now has it starting on Wednesday and ending Sunday night (…”man, did you see the traffic on the interstate”?). We will make every effort to keep the Posts coming, even through such a distracting time of year. (This Post is as mixed and confused as the Holiday itself).
Second only to Christmas in it’s demands upon the members (of our) culture, Thanksgiving is shedding it’s historical camouflage and coming into it’s own in terms of proscribed ritual behavior. Of course, Thanksgiving has always laid claim to being a standalone, not-a-hand-me-down, genuine American holiday, unlike those twin imported festivals, Christmas and Easter. As children we are not only taught the story of The First Thanksgiving, we even had school-directed Thanksgiving lessons.¹ As a result, it is a holiday in which it is relatively simple to know how to act properly and as such, is clark-friendly.²I probably should resurrect/re-post something from the Doctrine archives that deal with the holidays, but hey! it’s Thanksgiving Week!! And we all know what that means!

…it means stress raised to levels otherwise experienced only on Wedding Days, (the day before) major Surgery, asking a girl out for the first time and/or giving birth; all delivered to every single member of your family unit in equal doses:

the cook-person (usually the female, but not always) “hey get out of the kitchen, you’re in the way”!/”hey where did everyone go, why do I have to be stuck in the kitchen”?
the children “why can’t we go outside, we hardly know those people”!/”I will try to get home at least for dinner, but I have a term paper that has to get laid”
the relatives (old) “why I remember when you were just this tall”!/”don’t you remember when we all went to the shore, you were this this tall”
the relatives (young) “why can’t we stay home and have dinner”/”there’s nothing on TV, they don’t have any video games at grandma’s house”!
the invited friends “hey, you know what would be really exciting“?/”hey, your family are really nice people”!
the turkey/the carving/the presenting of the food, “it’s over-cooked I just know I over-cooked it”!/”no, it’s just fine! It’s just that the knife is still too dull”!
the desserts “hey, more than one desert at a single meal”!/”what the hell is a ‘Mince’ and why is it in a pie”?

We all know that “the holidays” are experienced differently by each of the three (clarks, scotts and rogers) and therefore the demands of the celebrations are very effective illustration of the nature of each. But if there was no Thanksgiving, a roger would have invented it! (Actually, they probably did). Think about it! A holiday celebration that is:

based on a factual historical event (sort of)
the protagonists (of the story) are religious refugees, persecuted and driven away together on boats
food, specific food and a not-to-be-deviated-from Menu
ritual menu and a full schedule of events
shopping in herds, as the climax of the celebration (Black Friday)
a moral taught to the young: we came here, those strangers who helped us were different, (…we had a feast and wiped out their culture)

I will be so bold as to suggest that there is no more rogerian a holiday than Thanksgiving! If there was a St Roger, his feast day would so be in the last week of November. (Saint Roger; Holy Mother Church’s only self-martyred Martyr. He died at the hands of the original Pilgrims and the Wampanoags; records in Vatican archives tell us that St Roger’s suggestions throughout the day were accepted with good nature by all in attendance, i.e. “..don’t you think the deer is a little over-cooked”…”pumpkin pie? who would make a pie out of those things?”…”why is that construction-paper Indian’s head all folded”… But, as the story has it, the assembled party reached their limits when he was heard to say, “what do you mean, ‘no turkey’? the best part of the holiday is a cold turkey and pemmican sandwich at around 9:00pm’. His martyrdom is the subject of an up-coming Ken Burns documentary, “St. Roger…when enough is not nearly enough“)

And since we are on the subject of rogers and holidays, is there any human activity that is more one sided, over-hyped, expectations-sure-to-fall short, ( not counting sex on the eve of a relationship breaking up), than parades? I don’t care if you are a trombone player in the middle of the herd or someone sitting in their living room watching it on TV…you are a roger. (…Someone tell me I’m lying.)

In any event, my own memories of (childhood) Thanksgivings are all about the walnuts. (Among the several once-a-year foods) a bowl of nuts was put in the living room for the guests but the cool thing was that the nutcracker and those pointy-picking-something-out devices were included. I did not, and still do not like walnuts, but the chance to use the implements was the high point of the day. (…well that little memory-leftover has nothing to do with any of the rest of this trainwreck of a Post, lol)

1) such as pageants and plays and a whole bunch of shit that we were forced to make out of construction paper (using those rounded scissors and that white-paste-stuff that you could never keep off your fingers) and then the fuckin head of the Indians you so carefully crafted would get folded over and the whole thing still had to go up on the border around the blackboard of the classroom.

2) you really should not need this explained to you…about clarks…and holidays