Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Tomorrow is Halloween. If the Wakefield Doctrine were a religion, then surely we would be celebrating the Feast of St. Clark.

Students of the Doctrine, sitting at their computers, cauldrons of coffee to the side, watching the new day dawn like a conscripted soldier, towards the back of the crowd in listening to the most excellent speech from ‘Henry V’ (the Branagh version), are smiling to no one in particular and muttering, “A saint clark, as if”.

“And why”, a well-intentioned, yet tentative, New Reader asks, looking around the metaphorical library/coffee house/study/daytime bedroom, “Do you smile like that?”

Though on the morrow, clarks will leave their homes and mix with others in open and laughing fun, there will never be a Saint Clark because to be designated and otherwise honored as a saint requires a consensus and Outsiders are as alien to consensus as a hummingbird to the depths of the ocean.

Great scene (vid below). (Why no, I have not, in fact, watched the entire movie. I’m a clark)

As to Halloween and clarks? Before we mine history for expressions of this most clarklike of holidays, lets just say, the reason clarks embrace Halloween is because, for a brief time, we can be someone else, while sharing the company of ‘real’ people. It need not be a costume of opposites, nor is our preferred disguise a mirror. We simply have a ‘Pass’ to act and feel as we might.

“What? Who in the back of this comfortable, if not metaphoric room, shouted, ‘The Everything Rule is the Key of Solomon!’

Who ever it was, is absolutely correct. All three types ‘do’ Halloween. Halloween, however, manifests differently for each.”

Here’s that reprint (from October 31, 2014) I promised.

Welcome to… (sorry  do your own scary, radio voice-over audio here)  Velcome to ze Vakefield Doctrine… (the spookiest, most useful and fun theory of  creepy-clarks, scary scotts and… and regulatory! rogers!)

Yeah, I’m kinda surprised too. How I got through the last 4 years without a Post on the topic of Halloween is totally beyond me. I’ll bet I mentioned it, (Halloween), on a number of occasions, if for no other reason than Halloween is one of the Big Three ( holiday celebrations), and marks the end of Summer!  In any event, all that changes today!

hey! here’s a disquieting surprise! I was about to do a bullet-point listing of Halloween and the three personality types (knowing that this is a clarklike holiday) and I thought to check Wikipedia for a reference, or at very least a good image (I’m a Contributing Member of Wikipedia, so I’m comfortable using ‘our’ images*)… and my stomach turned at what I read.

…this (my reaction to my anticipation of the Reader’s reaction, is what I’m finding interesting). I’m finally coming to appreciate that most Readers are more advanced in their understanding of the principles and application of the Doctrine.**  …anyway I thought, “man! I don’t have to even have to explain what it is about this citation that makes me feel…. (something: not pleasant, but more on the wistfully regretful, rather than scared or outraged).  Weird, huh?

Screw this reflectioning, here’s the citation from Wikipedia:

Development of artifacts and symbols associated with Halloween formed over time. Jack-o’-lanterns are traditionally carried by guisers on All Hallows’ Eve in order to frighten evil spirits. There is a popular Irish Christian folktale associated with the jack-o’-lantern, which in lore, is said to represent a “soul who has been denied entry into both heaven and hell”:

On route home after a night’s drinking, Jack encounters the Devil and tricks him into climbing a tree. A quick-thinking Jack etches the sign of the cross into the bark, thus trapping the Devil. Jack strikes a bargain that Satan can never claim his soul. After a life of sin, drink, and mendacity, Jack is refused entry to heaven when he dies. Keeping his promise, the Devil refuses to let Jack into hell and throws a live coal straight from the fires of hell at him. It was a cold night, so Jack places the coal in a hollowed out turnip to stop it from going out, since which time Jack and his lantern have been roaming looking for a place to rest.

(neither the hell (waiting for the scotts) nor the heaven (of the rogers) awww…. poor clark)

Halloween:

• clarks see opportunity but are limited by their capacity to trust the costume
• scotts see fun but are limited by the restriction of custom… vandalism is out of favor, organized marches through neighborhood streets are de rigueur what kind of fun is that?!
• rogers see celebration, but their fun is to be standing inside the door, when the participants come marching up the driveway

* Wm ‘who said I was a roger?!?!’ Shakespeare

a little holiday music (would some explain how they got Charles Nelson Reilly to play the conductor?)