Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story
It is hosted by Denise.
She provides a prompt word and invites all to write a story of exactly or precisely six sentences in length.
This week:
BURST
In a small section of a relatively insignificant blood vessel in the lower anterior medial temporal lobe a change began to manifest, a slight smoothing of the surface and the hint of a bulge.
“But the roof needs to be redone, Chloe has her heart set on going to camp and Deirdre is almost ready for braces, I need to work more not less; I was raised to believe that providing the things the family needs is the most important thing in life,”
The couple sat in the car, holding onto a rare, daytime private moment; his words pushed against fatigue like tent poles in the rain and she shaped her words to smooth the fierce protectiveness growing within.
“You heard what the doctor said, your blood pressure it too high and if you don’t find a way to lower your stress levels, all the beta blockers in the world won’t protect you.”
Approaching the front door they watched as their youngest daughter, without the slightest hesitation, ran across the porch and, with a focus available only to the enlightened or the very young, launched herself through the air towards her father.
In a small section of a relatively insignificant blood vessel in the lower anterior medial temporal lobe, a growing bulge seemingly destined to burst, receded into a normal healthy diameter, stress hormones subsiding like a tide leaving the land undamaged.
About clarkscottroger
I was so worried when that last sentence started, but so relieved it ended as it did. Nicely done!
I can see (the suspense) can’t say it was a conscious effort (more a matter of copying the first part of the first second in order to keep the continuity of the parallel or whatever the word is for that element in the story.
To echo Kristi’s feeling – the beginning tone was somewhat “ominous” and I was preparing for the worst. A very lovely final sentence. You left me hopefully optimistic!
ty
“his words pushed against fatigue like tent poles in the rain” – great line
I loved that visual in your fifth sentence of the little girl running toward her father, and the calm I felt in reading your sixth sentence of impact touch and love can have on a person.
Great SSS.
yeah, me too (the child jumping into the air without the slightest doubt of being caught)…
What a great six. I too felt the suspense and am glad that you did not kill him off.
thank you (you’re welcome…lol)
I almost thought something bad would happen. A nice six.
Thank you.
You had me on the edge of my seat with this one Clark. So happy that it turned out good.
yeah, me too (only on re-reading did I see how much suspense there was to the story
What a sweet story, Clark! WHAT UP WIT DAT?! :)
lol that’s how we roll down at the Doctrine (‘where everything is possible)
thanks, Miz Dillon
The child will be disappointed about camp for a few moments, the other can wait for the braces, neither will get over the devastation of losing a parent too young. Great story!
very true, thanks
Oh my! Heart leaping six!
you’re welcome (lol)
What a brilliant rendering of the feeling of release one encounters when something as simple as a hug from a child erases all evidence of an otherwise stressful existence. Bravo!
Grazie, Miz V.