Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
(Heading out into Wednesday…wish me luck, meetcha back here Wednesday evening)
Made it. Now for a little stretching and exercise. Now is the time for all good…
…ok, lets try this: detective story in first person.
This is, of course, zoe’s weekly bloghop, the Six Sentence Story. The prompt word is ‘LIFT’.
I heard the lock on the outer door to my office close with the carved metal click that made me glance towards the drawer that held my .38. Although it was 1:33 am, a time of night when reasonable people are home, asleep in bed, the sound didn’t much bother me. The fact that I didn’t hear the door open, did. As I followed the lead of my reflection in the rain-streaked windows, turning away from dark city streets to face the door, I put my right hand in the now open desk drawer.
Backlit by the bright ceiling lights of the outer office was a woman with a body that was born to take hostages, a heartbeat later I heard a contralto voice that made the word ‘sultry’ sound like ‘lemonade and cookies’; I wanted nothing more out of life than to listen to that voice, “I hope I have right office, the directory in the lift listed ‘Desiderata Investigations’ as being on this floor, but didn’t give the office number.”
I took my hand off the revolver and grabbed my heart; like jumping into a lifeboat swinging off the side of sinking boat, I suspected that one was going to get me killed a lot faster than the other.
About clarkscottroger
You have found one of your niches fo sure!
Really like this. Not that Bogie and Lauren had anything to do with how I “framed” this scene :D
It is a stand alone. Nice.
thank you
Such a suspense-packed wonderfully wonderful love-at-first-sight story, Clark .
it was a fun Six to write
I bet you had fun writing it?
What a delight the read this story, well listen really as your words spoke to me just Humphrey Bogart would. Top of the class for you.
Thank you, Mr Egg
Good read, you always bring it!
ty, dude, ty
Had me thinking of Calvin & Hobbes: “My name is Bullett. Tracer Bullett. I’ve got two slugs in me, one from a .38, the other from my hip flask…” What an awesome six.
I totally love calvin and Hobbes
Love these!
Brilliant – it acted out in my mind as I read it.
Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings
thanks, man (I love them old 1st person detective stories. Loved to acquire that economy of description )
A kitschy six sentence story, Bogey in his fedora with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. And of course, Lauren Becall (or Lana or Betty). Love it.
Nice old school approach. Love it!
yeah… definitely a (fun) challenge, i.e. to learn to write in that very economical style.
Very well told! It brought me a huge smile, imagining the scene.
Thanks, ma’am it’s what we do (lol)
You’ve definitely got a knack for the suspenseful. :) Nicely done!
Thank you, Cyndorita
Holy smokes, this was well-written!
Hey, coming from a scott, that is very cool
You are now and forever here by known as NOIR DUDE!
Listen sister, that ain’t the worst moniker I’ve been saddled with… thanks
Dude, that was one terrific tale. Well written. I am stunned, pleasantly though.
thanks, man. suspect I’ll be smart to keep our detective around, no telling when I might need an episode.
(In all seriousness, that particular genre (detective stories in the first person) is, imo, amazing for economy of words and still very visual)
nice bit of Juicy Fruit on your wingtips, chucko. well done.
lol
thankee
I am so glad I came back to catch up on my SSS reading, it would have been sad to miss this one! Excellent intro to what promises to be a fascinating tale! You are really good at this mystery/suspense stuff!! I held my breath when heard that door click and reached into his drawer, one never knows what evil walks the halls in the wee hours of the morning! And sometimes such as this, danger presents itself in a very attractive package.
I really enjoyed this one. There is such a challenge in writing in that first person economical style of the old (and newer) detective pulp novels. Expect to hear from our as-yet un-named gumshoe