Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Up way too early. Work and writing, neither wanted to go to bed last night. And, yeah, that wouldn’t be the worst thing, the worst thing was that both (work and writing) was just in my head. All of the bad and none of the good, oh well, what’cha gonna do?
Re-print an old Post?
Well, I don’t mind if I do! Not the same level of satisfaction as writing new content, but better than looking at ‘the Facebook’, which is getting kinda old (‘except for the Gravity Challenge! that’s a whole ‘nother thing. If you want to watch your weight and would like to do so in the company of some interesting people, come on over to the Gravity Challenge! We’d be glad to have you join us. Easy as can be. Every day we take a photo of the readout of our scale(s) and send it in, whereupon I post it to the aforementioned Facebook. Pretty simple, isn’t it? (Oh, btw, we have what’s called Kristi’s Rule. It says, any portion of that readout you care to send in, works fine. The Challenge is about the change, not the number. So click here.)
reprint from a few years ago:
Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of personality that you get to enjoy with your friends and them, before it gets all famous and mainstreamy and everyone will know about it)
Question: If your husband is a roger and you are a clark, is it true that they never accept how much you have changed over the years, since you first met?
Answer: Too true1(Welcome to ‘ya shoulda just asked Tuesday’! We will be presenting some common questions and the semi-comprehensive answers…along with a little commentary, mostly to let us get away with dividing the page into block quotes.’)
Question: My best friend is funny and fun to be with, but sometimes when we are around other people he gets like, mean even goes and picks on me. But this happens only with certain people, this big kid that (my friend) knows. What gives?
Answer: Chances are your friend is a scott and the person that, when they’re around, your friend starts acting mean?…well, that other person is a scott too, but they are what we call dominant (to your friend). So your friend, even though he is picking on you, doesn’t mean to hurt your friendship… it’s a pack2 thing, you know?
Answer: jeez, if you say so,(This question deals with the changing pack order (from the scottian perspective) and it’s effects on the behavior of a scott. Note: this question (and by implication, the experience cited), will most likely be posed by a clark. Do you know why that should be?)
Question: My fiancée and I are getting close to the Big Day. When we first got engaged, we both agreed to keep the ceremony and everything on the quiet, low-key side, but lately, ( the wedding is in 3 months), she has been talking more to her sisters and some of her old friends and it seems like the guest list is getting bigger and bigger. What gives?
Answer: She is probably a roger. Forget about changing her mind. It means a lot to her, in a way that you will never understand. So relax! Sneak a couple of your friends that she might not have approved when the guest list was small, she probably won’t even notice now, and if she does make an issue of it, say the following to her (word for word): “I understand how important family is to you now. And even though I am not close to my family, you have shown me that my feelings3 of friendship with (fill in the names of you friends) make them like family. Won’t you let my family join your family …darling?”
(And there are those who would say, ‘Hey Wakefield Doctrinaires! Sure you have a uniquely clever take on personality types, but what about practical applications? Huh, what about those?’ Well, here ya go! Who cannot not identify with this situation? …not counting the rogers, of course!)
Question: My boss is nice enough, but it seems like he tries too hard to be, like my friend or something! Every day it is ‘how are you doing?’, “is there anything I can do to make your job easier?” I mean, all the time! I can’t get any work done when he is in the office, he is always offering to ‘help’! I might be able to deal with this, except that every time I do get some work done that he needs to sign off on, he always finds fault! And if I come up with something on my own initiative (he likes to say that he wants me to try to ‘think outside the box’) he is either totally negative or acts like he is amazed that I actually did it myself! Should I quite my job?
Answer: Probably.4(This Question deals with a scenario that is all too common. And, although we do not propose that all bosses are rogers, we will say this, ‘If your boss is a scott you have: a) a good time everyday up until the day he decides that it is time to change careers or b) a lead pipe cinch of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so the day you get tired of her shenanigans, ‘it’s sayonara, see ya in court’
If your boss is a clark, then we know the following: a) if your clarklike boss is female then her boss is a roger, if your clarklike boss is male then his boss is a scott! and b) they (clarks) make great bosses, will stick up for you totally against all opponents, but jeez! enough with the leadership by consensus! Get a set, yo.That music referenced in the Title of today’s Post? Totally weird. I’m sitting and watching TV and a commercial comes on and before I can hit ‘MUTE’ I hear the music in the background (of the commercial) and I’m off to the great and omnicient google… and here we are
1) rogers are about consistency, if they are about anything at all! The worldview of the herd (rogers) maintains that history, tradition, continuity…consistency is of the greatest good! The worldview is also one in which the individual’s relationship with the world-at-large manifests primarily in emotional terms. So when a (lasting) relationship forms, the details of ‘the other’ person are important, in a sense, manifesting the emotional investment. So, as time goes by, even though people change and grow and develop, the roger will still insist on seeing the ‘original person’
2) scotts, in the initial behavioral metaphor: like pack animals, i.e. wolves, dogs, lions and such. The social ranking in the pack is one of simple dominance, an alpha at ‘the top’ and everyone else in order of strength/prowess/capability downward from there. It is a primary characteristic of the scottian personality type to establish ranking when entering a new (social ) environment. Literally going from person to person, figuratively pushing them on the shoulder in order to establish ranking
3) emotions! always play the emotion-card when dealing with rogers!
4) you could try to…nah, don’t even bother. Maybe if you got to the Doctrine sooner, you might have learned enough to invoke your own rogerian aspect to re-configure your work relationship… but too hard, too frustrating, easier to get another job. But then again, most bosses/middle managers/supervisors/Principals are rogers! so maybe you should be asking about the Wakefield Doctrine School of Self-Improving Oneself…school
Timely post…found myself over at Suzie81Speaks earlier tonight. Suzie wrote a really good post a couple weeks back about being too “nice”, being a “doormat”.
Her #3 was about expectations. I found, after becoming aquainted with the Doctrine, that my past expectations of people were based more on myself, my reality. No one can say it’s not wa-ay easier to deal/interact with people when you know how they’re relating themselves (to the world). To say you have a leg up on things when you know “what” a person is – clark,scott or roger, is an underdamned statement.
theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. Don’t leave home without it!
Enjoyed these little scenarios. And you’re right on the money: my boss is a roger, though I’m a clarklike female boss to a bunch of college kids. I definitely lead by consensus, but boy, do NOT piss me off. LOL. The thing is – and I’ve told my employees this – is that they won’t know when they’ve crossed the line. It’s dangerous to skirt close to the threshold of pissing me off to the point of me wanting to get rid of you. I don’t even know when that threshold is. But then BAM! there’s a defining moment when I’m like, “huh. This person no longer works for the mission and vision of what we’re trying to accomplish.” That sounds mean. It’s not: a good team is composed of a harmonic orchestra of different folks performing in sync with each other. When someone throws that off, I have to find a way to change it. It might not be that day, or that month, but it’ll happen.
clarks have an extremely high level of tolerance for many things. And it takes a lot to “push” a clark but in those instances when “the gloves come off” there’s no putting ’em back on again! lol
yeah… funny thing about clarks and their experience of anger*
we are so, psychotically so, those less charitable might say, accommodating that, when, as you say, we’re pushed to far, we make scotts and rogers look like Glinda the good witch. Or something. I totally agree that, once past a certain point, our expression of anger is not something as minor as yelling or otherwise expressing strong opinion, we change their status from ‘one of the group I would do anything to support’ to ‘you do not matter, you do not exist’ (I used to refer to this perspective as ‘extincting’ as in: “oh man! did you hear, clark extincted barry.” “oh yeah? barry who”
*Hey! New Readers! there’s something called ‘the Everything Rule’ very helpful
Hey, Clark! How about a refresher post on how time manifests for/and the perception of time by, clarks and rogers.
The whole a-chronological thing with my rogerian brethren never fails to trip me up on occasion :)
Thanks!
Time? You mean when there are large blocks of time and you look back and think, “where WAS I and WHAT was I doing for the last 4 hours?” lol