Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

there is an old saying, “the person first to have a question, is the last to accept an answer”. Today it says ‘clark’ on the cycle-schedule of Guest Posts and I am pleased and just a little bit intimidated to present our friend zoe as our guest writer.

I say, ‘intimidated’ not to imply that her personality is to cause a person to be on guard, I say ‘intimidated’ to imply that zoe is a person with such an interesting, varied, multi-faceted background/lifestory, that the thought of writing a proper introduction gives me pause. However, after much too long a time, I have finally come to understand and appreciate that relationships form (and persist) because each participant derives a benefit. (As a clark, I’ve never had trouble accepting  this truth, at least from my perspective,  that it applies to the other person? is what has taken time to accept).

Zoe is a writer of no small talent and a huge range of insights and information.  She writes weird stuff (the interesting weird stuff). Zoe has had a variety of professions and educations. She writes a blog ( ‘rewritten‘ ) and she co-created, with our friend Lizzi,  a poetry blog ( The Well Tempered Bards ). She has traveled and she has lost loved ones, she helps people, (by profession and by inclination), she deals with life (the good and the horrible) with a directness that is pretty damn inspiring and,  …and  she wandered into the Doctrine camp one day a couple of years ago.  (this was one of those meetings. no doubt on one of the bloghops, possibly the FTSF, more likely the TToT… I remember, because she began our relationship by asking some rather pointed, but graciously framed question about the Wakefield Doctrine and the implications of a certain aspect…and would I be comfortable clarifying one point of the concept of worldviews… she had my attention and the rest followed as naturally as you would imagine.

…zoe?

A few years back I conducted an informal experiment.

When I took the job at the desk where I’m now writing this post, I began the ritual of a morning stroll before settling into work. What you should know is that although I live in a bucolic, somewhat idyllic environment, where I work is a whole different story. I’ve written a few posts about the street that houses my office and the people you’re likely to meet if you decide to walk there (1, 2). When I look back on those posts I described a fairly typical city street, “…lined with public trash cans, parking signs, and an occasional art installation… the air is visible as the heat emanates off of the cars that are parked bumper to bumper. There’s also a scattering of decorative plants bordering the sidewalks. They’re a fairly uniform group of saplings, all leafy, green and standing about 8 feet tall. Each is planted in a little square of dirt that was designed for the express purpose of appearing as though the miracle of life could naturally spring from cement.”

Because of the nature of my work (as a community health psychotherapist), I am well known by many of the people who live in the street or hang by the local bus station looking to score a fix for one of their various transgressions. When walking in town, I can expect to hear occasional greetings hollered from a distant corner or a vehicle passing. I have to admit that unless I’m with one of my peers, whom may be uncomfortable with such an exchange, I kinda like it. My secondary roger saves me from feeling as though I am standing out too much for the wrong reasons (i.e. I ‘m minding the rules of my profession and not crossing any therapeutic boundaries). My clark recognizes that it’s cooler not to fit in with the stuffy group. I’m known by my clients and colleagues for being a fairly laid back therapist who at the same time takes no bullshit. I like that M.O. I dabble in writing, but my writing background is in research. I am a clark with a secondary roger after all. And what would a good clarky-roger be without a research project? My rogerian aspect screams “ORDER!” while my clark mutters in the corner “Screw that, I’m just gonna go out and see what happens.” And that’s what I did.

After the one too many times of the roger I would occasionally walk with saying, “Doesn’t it bug you? It seems people are always approaching you, and they’re not the kind of people I would picture you spending time with,” I decided I would see how many people actually were saying hello on a regular basis. I wanted to know if these were strangers or did I really have some acquaintanceship with them. Turned out that many of the people saying “hello” were not acquaintances. This in turn, evolved into a desire to see if there was a commonality between those who did and didn’t say “hello.”

First things first, I ditched my opinionated walking partner. On odd days of the week I decided to initiate saying “hello” to people. On even days I would wait to see who said “hello” to me. This way I figured I would eliminate bias toward certain people being around on specific days of the week. (Yeah, I really did this. What part of secondary roger don’t you get? The only way I can explain it is, sometimes a primary clark just needs to know.) I just wanted to understand why some people would engage and others would avert their eyes as if they were trying not to notice the freak with the third arm growing from her forehead. It didn’t take long to realize that the people who were more apt to spontaneously say “hello,” or acknowledge my existence (whether it be with a smile or by verbally accosting me,) were not the well perfumed, or socially acceptable people you picture when someone says,“I work in the Berkshires.”

When doing any– but especially– informal research, one must make allowances for variables in the environment, but in the interest of not  unleashing my full clark nature I am going to refrain from the explanation. (Be happy! I just cut about 200 words.)

What does it all amount to? Hell if I know. What I did learn is there is a certain personality type for the person who is more apt to become a therapist, and my rogerian second definitely lets me fit in there. My clark, who prefers not to stand out, yet often feels overlooked in social situations, welcomes the inclusion in a subgroup of less desirables. Not only does inclusion appeal to my inner roger, but for a clark, that translates to belonging to a group in which I am needed, yet doesn’t make me feel like the weirdo standing in the corner. Why? Because the “group” doesn’t recognize itself as a “group.” What more could a clark ask for? I also learned that while my job often requires that I preach the need for socially acceptable behavior in order to belong to the larger herd, I fear I may be a bit of a hypocrite in that the inner struggle between clark and roger means I don’t always feel the need to practice what I preach.

Thanks for asking, Clark. I appreciate the forum. Sorry it’s so long…( Ha turns out I’m a clark after all!) L/Z

 

 

zoe

rewritten.com  
The Well Tempered Bards
Skippy: Tail of a Caniche