Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
the Wakefield Doctrine is a way to better understand ourselves and the people in our lives. the Wakefield Doctrine offers a perspective, a way of knowing why people do the things that they do, say the things that they say, act the way that they act. with the Wakefield Doctrine, you need never find yourself saying, “why on earth would she go and say a thing like that/how could he do that? I really thought I knew her/I knew him better than that!” the Wakefield Doctrine offers that we all group up and develop our personality in one of three characteristic worldviews and that it is the character of these worldviews, which are essentially our personal realities, that determine how we relate ourselves to the world around us. By knowing the characteristics of these three worldviews, (the world of the Outsider/clarks, the reality of the Predator/scotts and the life of the Herd/rogers), we are able to correctly infer the world as the other person is experiencing it. to know the other person at this level, as well as knowing ourselves at this level, we are better able to identify with them and therefore not only know why they act the way that they do, but you will know what they will do in the future. with the Wakefield Doctrine as a tool, you will know more about the other person than they know about themselves.
so there was this bloghop this weekend. everyone was there. good time, such as can be experienced virtualistically, of course. but, another week is upon us and while I can’t promise that we will say all e.e. on yer asses, I can promise that we will be doing the Traditional rogerian Thanksgiving Day Post ( redundant to the point of…. being… unnecessary?) In any event, that will be on Wednesday. don’t miss it!
Damn, our relentlessly formal relationship is back, already! What the hell, but you know clarks, we mean well. (Actually, let me let you in on some insider shit. We clarks don’t do the polite and self-effacing and oh-how-formal-you-are! thing because we want to be nice. Well, actually, we do… but we’re not doing it out of consideration for you, we’re doing it out of consideration of ourselves! We ‘keep our distance’ because it is how we relate ourselves to the world, you know, like that block quote up above says. Well, if you’re still reading this, you’re bright enough to have understood that without needing me to tell you that. But what you might not realize is that most of a clark’s behavior is driven by fear. (Now, before you rogers get all, hands-rubbing-together-glint-in-eye and you scotts get all, ‘aww-hey-I-got-your-back’), I said our behavior is shaped by fear, I did not say that we (clarks) are afraid. In point of fact, clarks are the most un-afraid people I know. There is a difference between behavior shaped by fear and a personality type in which fear is a central motivation. But we will need to come back to that topic later today. oh! and before you get all concerned for the poor clarks in your life? clarks are the most competent-in-duress life form that you will ever encounter. In a situation where all of the bad breaks and tragedy, from sick and dying relatives to runaway spouses and vanishing employment, descend on a person, compared to clarks, both scotts and rogers look like that little girl lost in the shopping mall, crying for her parents. ( I mean that in a loving, respectful way to you scotts and rogers out there, ya know).
So, that should get you started this Monday. More to follow, babies, more to follow. But the real world, this week’s work week (albeit truncated in our US culture) is demanding our presence. We will address this issue of ‘clarks and fear’ later in the week. Speaking of ‘later in the week’, I was thinking about maybe a Black Friday Video Break later this here week here. (For any exo-cultural Readers, Black Friday (in the US) is sorta like Christmas and Easter and maybe the Fourth of July in honor and appreciation of the commercial element in our culture. Whatever. I was thinking something either during the day or even later that evening. More to follow.
About clarkscottroger
First, IS THERE a holiday that’s not rogerian or scottian? World Left Handed Day? lol
Second, is it a clark thing, or do we hate the telephone? I was thinking that I’m going to have to call my relatives on Turkey Day and while it’s always wonderful to hear from them, I already know I’m going to have to set aside a chunk of time while I’m at my in-laws’ to call everyone and it’s always a little weird.
But, like you said…I love catching up from time to time with all my relatives, it’s just that it’s such a chore to call them. Ya know what I mean? lol
Cyndi
er… Halloween? lol I might argue that (not counting the decorating the house in 100,000 watts of flashing santas and lights and such) Christmas is a clarklike holiday. It is family-centric like T-giving* but, at it’s heart it’s about giving to others… except for Santa Claus, who is a rogerian figure if ever there was one, and not for the mistletoe which is Get-Out-of-Jail free card for overly affectionate scotts (which is like saying, the desert is overly dry) but otherwise!
Funny about the phone. I think we clarks like the phone, the way that we like Halloween and the judicious use of alcohol on second dates…it helps us be more than we think we are (or can be). Perhaps it is the setting for these calls…(especially what you tell us about the semi-adversarial nature of parts of the call) against what sounds like a pretty rogerian backdrop. I would suggest, take advantage of the socially sanctioned call to relatives to defuse or jump-start the day when it looks like things are getting tedious. (“Oh! look what time it is! er…sure I guess we can stay a little longer, but I really need to make this call…no! I’ll just step outside.)
* not to be confused with T Cell giving
Cyndi I can use just about any occasion to practice that technique Clark just mentioned… “Oh hey, is that the bathroom? Gotta try that out!”
I will wait to expound on how much I agree with your assessment of Clark endurance…Going back to work today for a few hours and hoping to actually think about something other than that which is generated by self involvement and narcissism… yeesh…. sigh….
zoe
…damn! take notes! lol (what you’re describing is surely the most recurring and therefore, potent and insidious form, of effort that a clark is required to make, if on the path to self-improving ourselfs).
I don’t think a single one of us (clarks) have not had the (converse) of your experience, getting up in the morning, totally committed to ‘not telling the world that we are Outsiders’ and we mean it! and what happens, the second roger or scott we encounter, we’re all ‘yeah well, I’m sorry to say’, ‘I don’t mean to’, ‘well, watch it buddy…’
remember! don’t think the word ‘Elephant’ lol
I don’t suppose it counts as real effort if I lock myself in between clients? The big primary roger is here today and I don’t want to get cornered. Im just not ready to love a roger today. Dammit! There I am again… F***!
zoe
totally does! (…actually that would work out best for him… as we all know, pushed too far, clarks have a tendency to become… someone that he would not wish to encounter, were he able to think beyond his next canard…lol “he so will not be smirky/concerned boy if he gets you mad!”)
No, no, no we DON’T like the phone. Except on our own terms – the phone is for MY convenience, not yours.
We like letters – hand-written – because we like to see (and own?) a little piece of whomsoever wrote to us.
Which is either creepy, correct, or both. Your call.
In the UK, fireworks night is arguably a non-rogerian holiday. Fireworks are unpredictable (they hate that) and by its nature it has to occur in the dark (who can see the herd in the dark?). scotts aren’t that keen (no-one can see THEM in the dark, but there are lots of pretty, flashy lights) and clarks LOVE IT (in the dark, watching everyone else and how they’re dealing with being in the dark, whilst appreciating the science and unpredictability of fireworks and their beauty against the night skies).
Lizzi
lol… I like the idea of a fireworks night, where the celebrations seem to be non-denominational (to channel my rogerian aspect lol), of course, we always want to remember that, when in doubt, we have the ‘everyone does everything at one time or another’ clause (to the Wakefield Doctrine). This does not mean that one holiday does not tend to attract certain types on the basis of it’s rationale… but, the Doctrine charges us with seeing the world as the other person experiences it, to ask the question, how would this celebration manifest in the world of the Herd or the life of the Predator. Not a lot of different holidays, just three versions, iterations of one.
I’m with Lizzi: the phone is for MY convenience. LOL
And…letters? Oh I LOVE letters. Love letters and otherwise, lol. I have kept just about every card and handwritten note people have sent me since I was a kid…that’s quite a few boxes of sentiments. LOL Now, that, I think is a very clarklike thing. ;)
Cyndi
lol it has a resonance (for me) with old books… seeing as how writing letters and such is for wimmin folk (lol). But with books I am totally on track with that, even though I have a Kindle now, I still love everything about books…feel, smell, weight the whole magilla