Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and roger)

Yeah, that last Post was boring. The first Comment was not… the first Comment was:

OK. I get it.  Satan is the scott (are we really surprised? LOL),  the (vain) muscle man – the roger which leaves the female as the clark. What gives? Why is Eve the clark? I’ve got an inkling (think self sabotage).

(Thanks, DS#1  Now this is the kind of question/topic that makes writing this blog so much fun!)

Lets get the party started with some bulletpoints:

• the Serpent (Satan) as scott…anyone doesn’t get that right out of the box we need you to a) read the section on clarks, scotts and rogers, one more time  or b) quietly return to your favorite blog  ‘crocheting sex toys with Eloise’ or Powertools.girls.loudcars.com
• Adam as roger  …hey, it does not take an advanced degree in Wakefield Doctrine to see this ‘so I will be so much more the first Man if you tell me how smart I can be’  that quality is virtually an epigram of the rogerian worldview.
• Eve as clark  now there is the topic!

(3:15 pm  …to be continued!)

OK  where should we start? Justify calling the Serpent the scott here or why Adam was such a roger?

Well lets start the Tale of the Garden of Eden:

The serpent, “more wise than any beast of the field,” tempts the woman to eat “of the fruit of the tree in the midst of the garden”, telling her that “Ye shall not surely die” and it will make her to be as god, knowing good and evil. After some thought about “the tree to be desired to make wise”, the woman took of the fruit and did eat. She then gives the fruit to the man, who eats also, “and the eyes of the two of them were opened.” Aware now of their nakedness, they make coverings of fig leaves and hide from the sight of God.

God asked them what they have done, and man and woman defer responsibility. The man blames the woman for giving him the fruit, (“The woman Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree, and I ate”), while the woman blames the serpent for seducing her to disobedience (“The serpent beguiled me and I ate”). God curses the serpent “above all animals,” causing it to become an eternal enemy of the human race. God then passes judgment for the disobedience of the man and woman, condemning the man to sustain life through hard labor and the woman to create new life through painful childbirth (our friends at Wikipedia, who we give money to every year):  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_and_Eve

For our purposes, lets leave God out it¹ for the purposes of this discussion. Lets get all capsule description of our three personality types:

clarks: emotionally independent, strong-willed (in a secret, non-confrontory-way), focused on family and near-psychotically un-selfish
scotts: smart, (in a strictly practical-applications-way), loves to sell, resistant to authority-for-the-sake-of-authority, and near-psychotically fixated on here-and-now gratification
rogers: very aware of appearances, naturally attuned to working within an organization, emotional to the point of vanity and near-psychotically ambitious, in a non-confrontational sense

On second thought, let’s not leave God out of it! Here’s the Wakefield Doctrine take on this very, very familiar tale.

Satan is just hanging around, everywhere except in Heaven. This is fine by him, ’cause the host of angels and archangels  (and cherubim… could ya gag?!), they were totally boring and the only ones with a sense of adventure got kicked out of Heaven along with him. Satan thinks, “...this ain’t so  bad! Don’t be nobody telling me what to do!”
But like all creatures, Satan has something that he fears more than anything, so like most of us do, he chooses not to to think about it. Satan has always been a big non-fan of thinking and introspection, “Live large, make noise and let ’em know you’re here!” has always been his motto, if asked (and he will volunteer it, if he is not asked). In any event, Satan is beginning to get that feeling. It is the worse thing he can imagine, but fortunately he is not overly imaginative. But try as he might to pretend everything is fine, the bad thing is getting closer. The bad thing is to be ignored. (Better make that two bad things, we need to include that horrifying emotional response to being ignored: boredom.)  Like it or not, (not!!!) deny it or not,  (deny!! deny!!!) Satan is beginning to get bored.

God, on the other hand, couldn’t be happier ( of course!  frickin rogers they always do that, ‘why, what could possible be wrong? Why aren’t you self-absorbed sufficiently to feel that there could be nothing that would make this moment any more perfect?‘)
In any event, God decides to create the world.
Fine. …then he looks and thinks, ‘sure, but something is missing!…ahh!  moving parts!’
So God invents all the animals and fowls and everything in the world.

Looks around… still something missing. The animals and fowls and such are all like, ‘hey man!  thanks! this existence thing is cool!’ God hears their thanks, but still something is missing. After all, they’re animals!  Then he realizes, the only genuine compliment, the only feedback that means anything needs to come from a being that He can identify with… not these animals!
So God creates Adam.  …still, something not right. (He can hear the snickering and the catcalls from somewhere On High, “...hey god, more is more…  yo! Supreme Being! the Baroque Period ain’t for another 5,730 years!”  … “yeah, don’t forget that this one goes to 11” …tee hee“)

God is beginning to get a little impatient. He knows that he needs another creature, but frankly the act of creating Adam took a lot out of him and besides, to be honest, now He is getting a bit bored. The thought occurred to ask Lucifier for some input, but then remembered that he had banished him for some Great Sin that escapes him at the moment. “Always gotta push things too far, hell of a frontman though, dude knows how to party...”

Desperate to finish His Work, God looked at Adam and thought, “Hey, great basic design, maybe if I just add some fins and some extra taillights...”

(to be cont’d…)

1) as everyone knows, the God of the Old Testament is totally a roger, interestingly enough, ‘the God’ (aka Jesus Christ) is way, way clarklike and scotts?  We all know where our scotts show up,  major world-religion wise!