Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers ).
It is not that clarks have anything against sports and/or sports extravaganzas, ’cause we don’t. But….
The thing of it is, being the perennial outsiders, clarks have a little more insulation from the influences of those who would gather everyone into a big, excited, pulsating with anticipation, murmuring in hush but deafening tones, vibrating with the excitement anticipated, yearning to see the OMG-did-you-see-the-Staples-Commercial?
Each year we see the growing orchestration of our culture’s candidate for the Bread-and-Circus Hall of Fame Award. And each year, I find it more difficult to ignore the people who proclaim that, ‘I haven’t been following either team during the regular season, I really will be watching for the Commercials’. (let me stop to allow for an overly dramatic emphasis…picture shaking ones’ head back and forth at a speed that blurs the features…cartoon-like).
…yes, I swear that I have heard real people make that statement, that they will sit in front of their wide screen HiDef TV’s and wait for the Commercials to come on…
But I said at the beginning of this Post, ‘Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers ) and I meant it! damn it!
And as everyone reading this knows, the Doctrine is a way of looking at the behavior of the people in our lives and, by inferring the nature of the world that this other person is experiencing ( the cold and lonely world of a clark or the predatory, exciting and messy-yet un-imaginative reality of the scott or the ‘gather in a herd’, because you are the center-of-the-universe-warm world of the rogers) and understand why this person acts the way that they do.
With the Wakefield Doctrine as our tool we will be able to understand ourselves better and as for the other person, hell, you will know what they will do,before they do!
About clarkscottroger
Hell, since commercials have been elevated into their own special pop-culture category, of course you watch for those too. Go Patriots, go E-Trade babies, go little VW Darth Vader kid!!
trouble is I am of the age (and gender) to recall mustering up my best ‘sincere and honest’ response, “Pictures of naked women? No I buy Playboy for the articles”
Actually, I always found the game so boring, that the commercials seemed like the only interesting part. Even in recent years, since I have lacked a TV, I have been known to look up the commercials on YouTube. If the game is going to be on, I really don’t find watching it for the commercials all that absurd — especially if you are EXPECTED to provide food for it!
Like I mentioned on the Video…Super Bowl Sunday is an un-official Holiday for clarks, if you can get away from wherever it is that the scotts and rogers are gathering…I am serious, they (collectively) seem to be comfortable simply abandoning the rest of the world. So go to the nearest Town or city Sunday afternoon…no lines, no crowds, no traffic… ‘I Am Legend’ is a (fairly) recent Will Smith vehicle, a Last Man on Earth thing…sort of like that without the bodies.
All I want to know is what the hell was wrong with the audio? I don’t recognize my voice! But wait! Could it have been my early morning voice? Maybe. Was it my “don’t make me talk spontaneously on tape” voice? Possibly. Wait! Perhaps it was my blended voice. Yeah, that’s it! LOL – 80% scottian, 15% rogerian and 5% clarklike.
I spent the better part of the day working in a grocery store. First of all, thank you RCoyne for endorsing the Patriots! Down here in the other New York, aka Florida, all I saw being purchased were Giants Cakes and Giants Cupcakes. What?!! Yes, yes there was blatant confectionary prejudice!! Where were the Patriot Muffins or the Patriot Pies gosh darn it!
As some of you know, I have embraced the Wakefield Doctrine wholeheartedly lo these many months in order to facilitate a shift in my timeline. Along my journey I have been working overtime as the saying goes developing my rogerian aspect. This mostly due to the fact I work a retail job. On weekends such as Supper Bowl Weekend, and amidst further migration of “snowbirds” the energy level today was pretty high. Fertile ground for both rogerian and scottian “dynamics” to be at higher than normal levels. Today, my energy came from the energy surrounding me. No concious effort on this clarklike female to try and be the friendliest employee on the planet. I simply was. Further, I look forward to the actual big event day, Sunday. That’s when I think it will be fun to unleash my scottian aspect :D
P.S. I love the e-trade baby!