Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). Your source of all things clark, scott and roger related. Accept no substitutes, damn it.
You like totally should of been there1 last night. We caught a glimpse of the future and one thing is for sure, I am glad to be part of the Wakefield Doctrine. Granted the vision that we saw was a bit fuzzy and maybe there was a drop-out or two as the evening progressed, (just to cover the full demographic of our readership, picture sitting at your computer and the download time goes way down, constant hourglass-thingie. You get some aluminum foil and tape it to the monitor and every now and then you flatten the foil out, maybe bang the side of the screen with the heel of your hand.)
Last night’s Wakefield was sort of like that. In attendance was:
- glenn downspring and avatar of the scottian male (NA culture circa 2011) riding shotgun2 it is becoming increasingly obvious that a navigator, co-pilot or at very least a PA is necessary on the drive to Wakefield theses days
- DS#1 from the Sunshine State, she appeared to have assumed the role/function of the Designated Rational Adult (DRA) which was fortunate for the rest of us as besides the constant danger of mistaking a RED stoplight for a GREEN stoplight, the path to and about Wakefield is apparently lousy with wormholes and timewarps3
- Ms AKH who, once we got tired of seeing ourselves on the video playback, was called to inject some maturity into the rapidly devolving dialogue
- my-own-self driver, chief cinematographer (’cause it was my camera)
Anyway, I think you get the picture. The camera recorded 21 minutes of a virtual meeting of Progenitors and DownSprings during an actual drive through Wakefield…in high def.
Tell me this is not very promising.
Before we lose all our new Readers and/orVisitors and FOTD (Hey Mel! We will work the bugs out of the system before you get “the Call”, we totally promise. Clear your calendar for Saturday night, early March around 7:45 EST (6:45 CT check your local listings).
New Readers? This is not your typical Post here at the Wakefield Doctrine. This is actually more focused than most that you will find. But we try to always have something useful and instructive in terms of the Doctrine, how you can use the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine to better understand the behavior of the people in your life. And all kidding aside, this thing of ours is actually a very useful tool for that purpose. What we have here is a simple and fun way to get a ‘quick look’ from inside the head of the other person, the person you can’t figure out. Seeing the world as the other person does, has always been the Solomon Stone of psychology, self-help, most major religions and hardly any political viewpoints.
Here at the Wakefield Doctrine we simply say, “The people you live with, work with, and play with are either a clark or a scott or a roger. And each of these three types experience the world with a different bias, a different set of rules (for behavior). If you are a clark and your husband is a roger, then with the Wakefield Doctrine you will understand why the hell he does those really annoying things that he does, at the least opportune times. And if you are a roger and the girl you want to go out with is a scott then here is what she will respond to if you want to get her to like you”
That kind of helpful advice. We have that and much more, and if you are still reading, chances are you have the kind of “flexible intelligence’ that it seems to take to get this whole theory of clarks, scotts and rogers thing and do something good for yourself.
That and hats! We have (nearly free) hats (for your damn head). Simply write a little Comment at the bottom of this Post and we will send you the appropriate hat. Don’t worry, we will know which hat to send.
Well, that’s all for now….
Hey! AKH you seem to have the magic touch with getting the Doctrine out to these yahoos…I will leave the linking out in your capable hands. Now get out there on that (digital) street and get us some Readers…. (ha, ha)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTLiPbtnhvU1.) Why in the car on the drive to Wakefield, of course!
2.) the Progenitor roger has a Post that includes this ubiquitous , america-car-obsessed-culture-based term, go read about it at the Lag a Muffin
3.) the timewarps and wormholes are a Wakefield related epiode(s) that we will be studying as it is not clear whether they are a phenomenon coming from the drive in and of itself or merely the result of a common history of the passengers in the car…stay tuned!
About clarkscottroger
Damn, but Golden Earring annoys the hell out of me. Don’t they have proper girl’s underwear in Holland? Victoria’s Secret ought to make a house call here. Eddie Izzard should be called in to consult.
And the shrieking 12-year old girl background vocals. Like fake fingernails being drawn across a chalkboard.
On the plus side, that sloppy-assed guitar player has a Dan Armstrong plexi with the interchangeable slide-out pickups. Very nice. Always wanted one of those. Chinese repros sell for about $1500.
I’ve been taking an online self-asertiveness course so I can be more outspoken. How do you like me now?
dude, when that riff starts…duh-di duh da da duh-di duh da da (hands wet on the wheel…something something…) SKynarrd!!
Good going, roger… make fun of Holland and 3 hours later we have a Reader from Belgium!
Hey Belgiuminites! dudes my buddy wasn’t really making fun of Holland (or by inference Belgium…which could be mistakenly seen as including their neighbors in the EU)…some of our best Readers are from Belgium…or Holland…which one of you folks wear those little boat-shaped shoes?…made of out of frickin wood? Whats up with that?
Love the chocolate though.
That’s nice, you guys. Make fun of people from other countries. Fucking xenophobes. (I like to say xenophobes). I thought maybe some portion of last night’s ceremonies might show up in today’s post. There were some admittedly awkward moments, but those are fun too. Hope you’re not waiting for a session that goes as smooth as silk, in which everyone comes across as glib and witty, and in which I don’t say something embarrassing or disturbing(That’s my fucking JOB!). Take a risk–put the whole thing up there. Warts and all. I think I like the warts best of all. In fact, it’s all about the warts. Then we can dissect the whole thing along TWD lines. You know, why the roger said that, why the scott made that masturbatory hand motion, why the clark couldn’t utter a coherent sentence.
Wonder what RCoyne is talking about. Golden Earrings? Is that a music group? A TV show? Do the members not wear undergarments? I am purposely unhip about a lot of pop culture these days, so these references are lost on me. On the other hand, I find more and more that my references are baffling people. A sign of aging I guess. Shit! A guy I play ball with likes to comment on someone else’s good play by saying, “Like a young Reggie Miller..” I expand upon that formulation–and instead of naming a basketball player, I just name a random celebrity. I struck out on three swings and misses one night. Afetr a good play by another guy, I said, “Like a young Art Linkletter”….NOTHING. Crickets…I was the only person in the gym who knew who that was. A few minutes later, another good play, I say, “Like a young Merv Griffin” NOTHING..Fucking kids these days! A bit later, another good play, “Like a young Buddy Ebsen..” There are some older guys in the group, but they have hearing problems and did not hear me. The other guys? NOTHING. Strike Three . Yer out! I’m just gonna sit here in my rocking chair. Fetch me my shawl, would you? I mean I know I’m old, but these knuckleheads rubbed my face in it. Punks.
BTW, making fun of foreigners is a good way to get Clark to censor you. I greeted some German visitors to the site one time with some kindhearted reminiscing about World War II and the Holocaust. Clark thought that was mean and would not run it. So, I say to the Belgiumese. Welcome. Here we speak Hollish.
Ok. I looked at the videos AFTER I commented. Now I know what Golden Earring is. Not bad Rock & Roll for Hollish guys. Pretty good English, too. I like the Brenda Lee reference. Fucking basketball assholes wouldn’t get it, I bet.
nah, nothing as conspiratorial and exotic as that ( “…why no clip of Sat night video?” ) the reason you have not yet seen any of the video we took Saturday is simply that I can’t figure out how to get the damn thing ‘out of the camera’ in order to put it up on a Post.
(For new Readers and others less up on current developments) this past Saturday night had us taping the actual drive to Wakefield, or at least 21.09 minutes of said drive. It was interesting to say the least, one if not 2 Posts worth of overly reflective material (to use a slightly rogerian expression)…not the least of which included have DS#1 and Ms. ‘KH on board, (the dashboard, that is….lol)
Am working through these technical difficulties and when sucessful will be Posting the tape…(just like Tommie Lee and Pam…or Paris and whatever-the-hell-that-guys-name-was or….)
I feel your pain Glenn. Same thing happens to me at work. I’m old enough to be most of their mother. Think they’d remember Ed Sullivan? Hell, he’s only the one who introduced The Beatles live. (crickets…)
or here’s a tricky one: Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-in. Man, I used to love that show. Flower Power, Psychadelics and all.
The current generation does, in fact, have an awareness of those days (of our culture) courtesy of the internet and cable TV. I listen to a lot of college radio, a surprising number of programs focus on the music from the ’60s.
But…it is the surface, the high profile people/artists/cultural artifacts that contemporary generations know about…it is not the details, the smaller lesser known parts of the culture…sort of like our generation saying (to our parents) “hey yeah I really like your music! that Gelnn Miller was great and Benny Goodman? I think I heard him on a cartoon…”
Stop straining yourself glenn, you are a scott…you do not have the intellectual grounding to deal with the dislocation that comes from trying to bridge the gerneration gaps…your teeth are merely stainless steel, the scotts of the current generation have teeth of titanium alloy and ceramic…go quietly about your day and maybe they will let you howl at the moon on nights that the current generation is devoting to producing the next generation of clarks, scotts and rogers.
Knuckleheads? Oh thanks for improving my vocabulary. The word I chose had no impact–but Knuckleheads?? That gets attention. Thanks for spicing it up for me in rewrite. You are becoming an old woman–an old librarian woman–with bad dentures–
And AKH, try some of the catch phrases from Laugh-In. Crickets every time. “I’ve got two in my tu-tu.” “You bet your sweet bippy!” “Heah come da judge..”
We think we would rather you chose the words: artifical dentition…there you go now ;}
Standards and Practices: “we are only appearing to be asleep” dude, write like you would speak at the most important, career-critical function (in your line of work). Not mandatory…just required for publication…hey, how badly do you want them to hear you? One word to be heard by one person or a bunch of words (minus one) to be heard by 30 or 40…it is all in your hands….
Not my hands, Lenny.
“getting the Doctrine out to these yahoos….” Will anyone notice the name calling?
“3.) the timewarps and wormholes are a Wakefield related epiode(s) that we will be studying as it is not clear whether they are a phenomenon coming from the drive in and of itself or merely the result of a common history of the passengers in the car…”
Road Warrior clip transports me to 1982(or was it ’81) leaving the then Pier Cinema with 2 of the 3 progenitors, driving down Kingstown Rd. at a high rate of speed.
Now how in the world am I supposed to keep my head out of the past and chained to the present. Do I need to get all scottian on myself? (no joke on that Mr. Miller).