Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Contest! Contest!!! (yeah….CONTEST!)
See the photo above here on this Post? Well that, folks is the (actual) first television that your humble Progenitor bought with his own damn money. Today’s Contest is very simple:
Guess the brand TV and win a (nearly free) hat (for your damn head)!!!
….Sorry, folks. Contest is cancelled.
‘Fraid I came up with the Contest without giving any thought to where the hell we are, i.e. the Internet! (…internet…you know…where virtually all information is available at the click of a mouse? …as in cut-paste-search image of TV and the answer comes up nearly imeediately? yeah, kinda ruins the fun of a good identify-the-artifact contest.) Gotta cancel, it just would not be fair to the clarks out there.1
But, hey since you are all here and clearly excited about winning a (nearly free) hat (for your damn head), let’s make a couple little, tiny changes to this here Contest here and get some (damn) heads be-hatted! So here we go, a Three Question Contest!!! (yaay!)
La cuestión es Frist: The television in the photo here was purchased at Sil’s Loans. This was a pawnshop, of course, located on the 5th floor (of a building) on Empire St in Providence RI. Sil was a little white-haired guy who smelled bad, and had a high-pitched voice (think Mickey Mouse trying to speak in a bass voice). The building (that Sil’s Loans was located in) was one of those 1940’s building that had a self-operated elevator in the lobby (that also smelled of cigars and urine). The pawnshop was in the middle of the row of what today you would call ‘office suites’ and these offices all had doors with white frosted glass panes in their upper half and a transom window over the whole thing (these transom windows were actual functioning tilt-in windows). These transom windows were significant ,as you would be able to hear Sil arguing with ‘clients’ as soon as you stepped out of the elevator. Annyway….the Question is this: who found Sil’s? (the Progenitor) scott or roger?
Muy bien, te crees que eres tan inteligente? Entonces mi amigo, la respuesta la pregunta dos: The television that is the focus of this Contest was purchased to be used in a dorm room. Specifically, the dorm room of the progenitor clark. Referred to simply as ‘115’, this room was the scene of a significant romantic conflict between 2 of the three progenitors (with the third siding with one of the other 2) and a certain “Miss Ann” Two part Question! Which of the 2 progenitors were in conflict over the fetching coed with the long brown hair and the wire rim glasses and who did the 3rd progenitor side with?2
Pregunta número tres: DownSpring glenn is a frequent contributor to these pages and has often held that ‘excitement’ was the key to getting Reader participation…so for a bonus question: what is the name of the company that glenn works for, it’s street address and (finally) what is his work phone number?
Well, thats all we got time for…send in your answers as soon as possible. (As we say down here at the Doctrine, HTFU!)
I would like to ask our emotional wreckage remnant, Mr. B to try and find us some music that will not only be enjoyable, but will amuse the new Readers….something less than 30 years old? maybe?
1) clarks, bless their hypo-emotional little hearts love information as we all know. clarks, of the three types, believe that knowledge (and his bastard son INFORMATION) has an intrinsic value and therefore is worth whatever effort it takes to acquire it. So a clark in this kind of contest will simply start searching the internet for: TV + round + orange (or something like that). The clark will get the answer, but the scott or the roger will simply search the particular image and come up with the answer. Not to denigrate the clark, for whom the search for the answer to this Contest, is the end all and be all. We want our clarklike Readers to understand, we do not think less of them for their…love of learning. We totally get it. We know that you see the process of learning to be more fun than any application of information will ever be, sort of like how the courtship/seduction phase of a relationship is sometimes as good (or better!) than the actual, er…consumption! (thanks to roger for that last)
2) this is not such an impossibly difficult question to answer , you know…Come on, people what have we been spending our time doing here for the last 18 frickin’ months yo.
Alright a hint, just ’cause you asked so nicely. The key to answering this question is to consider: which of the 2 progenitors could get into a situation where competition was even possible? However one-sided, there is only one pair where the mythical Miss Ann would draw on (progenitor in) and then work the other…now she! she was a scott…but we have not spent a huge amount of time looking at scottian females, so we do not expect you to gain a lot of insight into this question as a result of knowing that she was a scott. It is enough, however to understand your progenitors to be able to answer this question correctly.
About clarkscottroger
I know the answer to pregunta tres. Not telling. Already got a hat for my damn head. A fine hat indeed. I wear it proudly. And when people ask what it means–I tell them “Go to Wakefielddoctrine.com” Some become fans. Others walk away with a confirmed opinion that I am “not like the other guys..” fuck ’em. I remember that TV. As soon as I saw the picture, it reminded me of spending some holiday night over at your apartment watching several movies on that new-fangled invention called a VCR. We were so impressed with that thing! Little blue and red lights blinking in the dark room while it showed us a WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE without commercials. And we watched it WHEN WE WANTED TO. Fan-fucking-tastic! I also remember seeing your extensive collection of sci-fi novels (How clarklike!). I think it was me and my wife–not sure if Philly was there that night…was she? She might have been now that I think about it.. Fucking whole movies…uninterrupted. We were young. We just knew we were in the vanguard of a new age. (Aside: Not sure what a “vanguard” is, honestly. Just felt like it belonged right there. If it is not right word…it should be.) The vid is great. Who is the singer? I think the band was Jeff Beck and the Vanguards. Weird. I saw that TV once, 30 fucking years ago–and as soon as I saw the picture, I remembered it vividly. A most memorable and distinctive TV. A veritable Vanguard among TV’s. That’s it from me. Gotta go “varnish the Vanguard”, if you know what I mean.
…the things we do for love…like walking in the rain and the snow and there’s no where to go……
Oh! My comment?! Sure.
Did you know Downspring glenn that that very same orb of a television set was in the possession of yours truly for a time. Can you tell me what year it was returned to the Progenitor clark?
1985?
You’re right I like today’s Post and even though I live with the Progenitor Clark, and have for my entire adult life, I have no idea who makes the little round TV. I just wish I had dusted the base before you took the picture.
I also can’t imagine guessing at any of the questions and possibly hurting someone’s feelings.
I do enjoy the stories provided by The Clark, The Downspring#1, and The Glenn.
I remember us renting a VCR and the movie AIrplane back in 1982. Good times.
Thank you Phyllis:)
Um….don’t think so glenn. Trying to remember myself. Someone has the answer out there. I know it.
I will preface my comment by saying that even though I have been privy to the Wakefield Doctrine, the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, since its inception, it is still a learning process. So much is “osmotic” for me (as a clark and having been in that car Mel speaks of so long ago) that often it is a challenge to present to others verbally or in writing in simple terms just how cogent a “theory” the Wakefield Doctrine is.
The posts and subsequent conversations within this blog helped me to instantly identify the authors of 2 articles in the November 2010 Vogue I was reading this morning. The articles are in the Beauty section. The page is split horizontally. Top half is: “BEAUTY – Farm-to-(dressing) table”. There is a picture and the first paragraph of the article. The bottom half of the page is “FITNESS – Body of Work” and the same: picture and first paragraph.
Read both before going to each respective followup page however I was compelled to go to the “bottom” article first. Not because of subject but because of how it was written. I realized suddenly that the “top” article was not as “pleasing” a read. That is not to say it was not well written but it was just that the “bottom” article read better. I don’t know, it just “felt” better. It was written by a roger. It felt good, flowed nicely. Interestingly enough, it begins by the author speaking of herself – the “I” component. (big hint there folks)
Perhaps it was by process of elimination that I was able to identify the “bottom” author as a roger from the “top” author who I believe to be a clark. The point I wish to make is that this business of identifying the clarks, scotts and rogers in one’s life really does become easier over time. Not to sound like an endorsement or anything but yes, It can be challenging and entertaining at the same time:)
I would like to challenge a roger out there to write the “bottom” comment to this clark’s “top” comment. Sure would be a fine example of what I am trying (with such verbosity) to say!