“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
“After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!”
“The night is fine,” the Walrus said.
“Do you admire the view?…”

…It was so kind of you to come!

(First of all), big Happy Firstaversary to Mel and them over at the Spatula in the Wilderness.  We wish him all the best and hopes for a successful year going forward.

Part of the challenge to this Wakefield Doctrine thing is to find ways to communicate to others, concepts that are based on personal experience.  What this seems to amount to is  “here is a view of personality that is effective and an efficacious approach to making significant changes to your life and maybe even the lives of those around you, isn’t it a good thing that my two best friends (and I ) just happen to embody these qualities”   (damn, dude, ya really shouldn’t go and write that out, kind looks like, I don’t know,  “HEY!  HEY!! man! this record, you got to listen to this record…there are messages there…yeah I am playing it backwards…but the messages are there…I can PROVE it!!)

But wait, this is different.  scott did embody the personality (found in the Wakefield Doctrine) and ascribed to being scottian and roger…he was and to this day remains a person who clearly views the world as a quantifiable place and has an over-attachment to things historical, and not that I do not sound like a clark all the time, but I remember what it was like to think that all I had to do was learn what I did not know and then people would not think I was an awful and worthless person.
That all happened the way this blog is describing people and events, personality and principles, just as  I describe it!!

Really, scott was, at the time ‘back in the day’, the most direct person I knew (and it’s not my fault that) along with his directness, he had the most volatile emotional life of anyone I knew or had known.  But there was  passion with the anger and an un-selfconscious generosity to his approach to people and sure he rushed things at times and was nearly always in a hurry but if there was trouble, scott was the person we would look to first.
And I am not making up rogerian expressions!!  Roger did actually say at a dinner that his scottian first wife put on for some faculty members and despite her best/desperate efforts to impress her guests with the sophistication that she thought she had to have and would have had if she were not so needy, despite all of that and with no hesitancy and (certainly) no self-consciousness, when asked if he, “wanted more mashed potatoes”?  roger did say in a voice that was every bit the confident, comfortable “sophisticated host” that he knew his wife wanted him to be, he did, in fact say, “No thank you, I think I’ll surpass on that”  Tell me I could make that up.  He was rogerian before there was such a term and well before the Wakefield Doctrine.
And my part in this, though for all appearances the quiet one of the three, I thought about things, god!, I thought about things!  I believed that the “Answer” was something that I could learn, if only I put in enough effort.  And the friends that I had, while I did not at the time notice the complementary nature of their individual personalities, were my excuse for not giving up on everything.  With scott or with roger (individually) I was almost a real person, with both I was something that I could not quite grasp and so, as we have come to understand about my people  I increasingly came to act as an intermediary between the scott and the roger.  Two people I thought ‘had it all’, as individuals and therefore ( I thought)  together should have been perfectly happy…came to be at odds on nearly everything…yet still were scott and roger along with my being clark…the complete full potential human.

So, don’t despair.  This really is a ‘unique and interesting and productive way to understand the behavior of those around us at home and at work and at play’.
If you follow along with this Doctrine thing you will see that there is a clark (in your life) and there is a scott (in your life) and there is a roger (in your life) and you are one of them and the other two are not far away.  But, but here is the beauty part, you know that they are who they are, because the world that they are experiencing right now is fundamentally different than the world you are experiencing…even though you are: married to them, friends with them, related to them, work with them, afraid of them, wish you were them.
You know that now, and while nothing will change today or this afternoon, there will come a time, (sooner than you can imagine) that you will say to yourself, “oh, oh he is going to explode, he is such a scott ” or you will say, “alright she puts so much into the family and a reunion will be boring but, she is a roger, it is how the world is to her” and you will say “god! why doesn’t she see that if she would dress normal or speak clearly, then she would not have such bad luck with people and jobs and opportunity, those clarks try so hard”.

That’s how it began…