Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
if rogers are parchment paper with calligraphic, perfectly spaced, each-letter-a-work-of-art (conforming to a highly developed standard) and scotts are back of envelopes, semi-clean napkins from-the-table-at-the-diner, some written, some printed, then clarks are: (nearly) properly organized with headings and sub-headings, mostly written, but lapsing into printing (that starts out pretty good, then strays into a mix of capital letters and small ones…and the paper is a legal pad ( for a clark a legal pad simply screams: ‘sure your ideas are crazy…but we are used by Lawyers and even some doctors…and …and we have a margin!!!…so you can add the modifications and qualifications and reiterations to the attempt to express a simple coherent thought.)
And so, we begin the week by saying to the Readers, ‘time to perform without the net1‘
Bullet Points!! yay! so, for projects and endeavors and such, the Wakefield Doctrine tells us that:
- clarks write out goals and refuse to accept the credit for attaining them,
- rogers write Mission Statements and find people who are willing to agree to them and declares ‘mission accomplished’ and
- scotts look at you and the pad and pencil….and back at you and pick up the pad and (holding it close to their face, looking over the top of the pad at you), throws it down and runs out the door…the writing on the pad is, ‘screw this!! no time…lets go do something!!!”
note: still toying with ideas as to how to do the Posts of the week… mostly, I’m concerned with not reaching the scotts and the rogers in the readership… so my first thought was: I can write ‘asides’ in different color type, you know the scotts in red (yeah! fuckin red !! c’mere lemme show you something!!) and clarks in blue ( always with the boring but steady, and yes, aren’t we serene and peaceful…I will choose to believe that the glazed eyes are a sign of inner enlightenment and not ‘jeez louise is this guy ever gonna get to the point?!?‘) and for the rogers? whatever the opposite of what is suggested (… this joke had me totally lol’ ing in my head this morning.)
note: yes, it’s gonna be like this all week! except for Thursday (and maybe one day for a vid post) but all week.
note: the goal? the reason? (the Question asked by only the clarks) to find a new place to stand, to take this blog forward into the next phase.
note: of course we’ll have vids and contests and such…
1) ok, this one time then, it means that you’re all on your own, figuring out what the hell I’m going on about…at least for this week2
2) and this, only because I don’t want to leave the new Readers sitting wondering what the hell that Doctrine thing is going on about3
3)…now that I hear myself type that, I’m thinking ‘hey! why the hell aren’t you old-timers helping the new Readers with your Comments and such… you want this to stay a tiny, secret club or don’t you think anyone else can figure this out?4
4) really?, well, I assure you, the new generation of Readers are going to be so quick at picking this shit up, we might not even notice that they’ve been here (and moved on)
5) come on! it’s a sub-title ‘hook’…doesn’t have to mean anything! sheesh
Special Feature! Add-on video… today’s selection courtesy of Denise at Girlie on the Edge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyGWbpNzH2o
About clarkscottroger
Frist!!!!
and so I follow the FRIST.
Why? ‘cuz clarks are slow! That’s right. I can’t dispute a thing in this post. The legal pad, the jottings, the re-jottings. Hey Clark! don’t forget the “lists”. The damned “lists” clarks are always making while the scotts are out “doing” on the fly, and the rogers? They’re slippery little devils. sometimes they “do” but not on their own.
Damned right you need to find the place to stand. Once you get there? Make sure you mark the spot. Not just for you. Plant the flag.
I give today’s post 4 thumbs up! Who’s with me?!
well spoken and…the point of reference for today’s ‘add-on video’!
:)
My favorite Jimi album.
Y’all, I’m OOZING the lists. I am completely serial. My desk is organized except for the lists. Every. Freaking. Where.
Pardon me, you have me all wrong, I write my important “books” ( yes, I have a book too–who doesn’t have a book? In fact I have three, but the one I am referring to is my spicy romance novel) on semi clean PAPER PLATES,
I use the napkins you mention, and the backs of evelopes, to give errands written out in maker to Jim, to shop with. He loses them anyway. And yes, he does bring home special notepads and legal pads! And then he loses them.They are around here somewhere,
Rogers have paper with their name on it from Tiffany & Co., with an engraved die they got as a kid from Tiffany’s … and it has the same address still so they don’t need a new one ever, because they don’t like moving. It is disruptive and might make other people think something has “gone wrong” in their lives.
Confession time: I have always wanted a mission statement.Darn! I like the sound of those!
However, like Steve Martin’s “how to be a millionare” joke, it would start similarly.
“First, I have to get a mission”.
jeh
jean
(clearly I am underestimating how much I have been under-estimating the level of proficiency (in our little personality theory) among the Readers here….can I get a ‘damn’!)
rather spot on with the rogers… the name on the paper …perfect!
I like the paper plate thing… easy to stack and keep neat on a shelf!
I figure the point of the week is–I forgot to say! You are giving an I pad notepad away and it is a contest!! Yay! That is why I read this all to begin with! Yay clark! Generous of you! Those things are cool! And I am running out of plates again
Jimi Hendrix”!!! we love him. I am going to make jewelry with his new commemorative postage stamp. Have you see it? Not bad. Do clarks like stamps? <–THAT IS A JOKE. of course they do but not to use, just to have. Little pieces of art.
Invention of the decade? Post-It Notes! No more ink pads or personal stationary. Now I have thousands of post-it notes everywhere, in my own secret rogerian shorthand. And then I forget what the shorthand means, so it’s all for nothing. But I’m such a whiny little bitch that I figure it wasn’t very important to begin with. 05/27/14-ord PSTITNTS FR STPLS- dts app 1530!
5-27-14: Order post-it-notes from staples.
Doctor’s appointment at 3:30.
Yes. I understand this. I, too, am the same. :P
…what decade would that be, Roger? :) 1980?
Oh this is too fun, clark pictures my old paper plates neatly stacked and roger is a post it freak
roger I can help you decipher your shorthand. I gradated from Katherine Gibbs secretarial school after college. My parents made me go. I had to learn the achaic long lost symbol writing there which was called “speedwriting” . I can fix you right up. fi dollah and fiddy cent
Clarks write down goals? Then THIS must explain exactly why I tend to buy white, unlined index cards by the package and yes, people actually GIFT these things to me (true story!). They see my trails of to-do lists, to-be, to say, goals, grocery lists, snippets of hours written down as a timeclock for the amount of time I work for the school at home, mantras, reminders, who to call, photography notes, notes for book ideas, plot ideas…
The white, unlined index card is a girl’s best friend. Forget the diamonds.
We are a compulsive lot we clarks LOL writing everything down….to go over later, read later, reference later…..aagh!
Writing down snippets of new information or an interesting fact, or, or…..:)
Index cards. Why Cyndi, it never crossed my mind:)
I am bad with notebooks. Bad with drafts. Bad with determining goals, never mind writing them down.
I like notebooks. I rarely fill them.
They pile up on your coffee table don’t they Lizzi?!
I have been given blank journal books for gifts. From people who knew that I liked to write. I have never written upon a single one. I couldn’t bring myself to write in them.
As a clark, I am sure you know why:)
I try – I REALLY try – I’ll get a few pages in, and just…the work isn’t worth the paper (that’s it, isn’t it – why clarks don’t use blank notebooks).
I have a new trick for greetings cards, though – because very often I can sit there and feel crippled by the pressure of having to Write Something Good in them, in a small space, with a convention. So I turn them sideways or upside down, and once freed from that expectation, the words flow. Maybe I should do the same with notebooks.
you all realize this doesn’t matter unless zoe weighs in, do you not? ;)
There’s that…
I will happily pay that dollafiddy. And another dollafiddy for white index cards and tape…cause if they’re taped up on the wall they’re almost post-it notes…1980? Really?? How old am I? WTFDTH?
That is fi dolla fiddy, and now that the holiday is winding down, I am afraid I must double that . Roger, I could help you a LOT with that lisp (“TH!”) which I note that you have.
We will start slooooowly, and after the first 17 sessions I anticipate that your public speaking will be much improved. No more frustrating “THs”! I shall eliminate any and all ourbursths and eradicate explosive stammering. Have you seen or read The King’s Speech? I am certain you will soon understand. Or …well, maybe not.
FYI: it all comes from the part of the brain which even E Harmony dot com cannot reach. I know…it might sound crazy but it isthn’t.
Repeat after me:
“The sea ceaseth, and sufficeth us.” 50 times.
That lesson was free. Now you do get the idea though, You need a trainer.
Practice makes perfect!
MY
References:
I assisted Ed McBain (well, Evan, you know…) when he had difficulties before his final book tour. I am certain that, were he here on earth today, he would be the first to positively attest to my high level skill sets concerning speech therapy and vocal training.
I use tons of posthistiveth reinforcethmenths (such as bits of your fave cereals and other things you will like). And I never make fun of anythingth. I am the consummate pro_____.
Roget, if I may call you that: I just don’t give up, ever, Roget. Accent aigu,
You won’t have to worry one tiny little whit.
But it’s gonna cost; BIG TIME!
……
Um, everyone, was Roger talking to me? Good lord, I hope so. jeanth
lol…
…(looking around ‘does anyone see any other scottian female people here??!) yeah, he’s talking to you rogers and scotts…. (think Kevin Costner and Susan Saradon)
lol
OK. figured as much.
where is my I pad. clark? remember I explained to you I always expect to win, even if I haven’t taken the class?
Oh heck, he doesn’t know me. Roger, man, just kidding! except about Ed McBain
just got a minute finally… I think that notepad week is the way to go… ‘no buttons to push’*
* very obscure Hendrix quote… hey, I know you guys are all totally versed in the Doctrine and all, so I will address this to the (probable) new Reader: Jimi Hendrix was a clark
this is helpful to mention as, for most of us, the first impression…given the stage performance and all, one would be forgiven for guessing…scott but no, totally a clark
we have several technical reasons for this, but the best way to tell (especially about actors and musicians and performers) is if you can see them in an interview and…. observe how they relate themselves to the world around them
….want another surprising one (or at least surprising to me) Mickey Rourke!
there you go…if you have any questions, just ask any of our Commentationers….they loves to reply to comments
It is true. About Jimi and Mickey. Luv ’em!
It IS all about how they relate themselves (to the world). It’s about expression.
The manifestation of their reaction to their interpretation of what is happening “out there”.
How they are “seeing” the world around them.
This is an important, critical aspect. How a thing can represent itself to a clark but (the same event/situation/reaction) be totally something else for a roger. Or a scott.
It is at once challenging and enlightening.
Now I gots to get to work….more specifically, the workplace.
P.S. jenayth! you bring the color!
fi dollah for the color. for Denise, 2 fiddy!!! :) xoxox