Welcome to Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

So I was looking at what the visitors were reading this morning and I saw that a Reader from Tallahassee, Florida ( city motto: ‘we got more vowels than the entire city council of Brooklyn NY’)  was looking at this Post.  (Don’t want to scare the new Readers, but  even though I write virtually all the Posts here I tend to forget a lot… the fringe benefit is that I can read a Post, like this one and say, with a sense of surprised delight, “hey! not bad!”  lol)

So here you go a reprint for this holiday weekend.

“…of past friends, fear and false hope. the Wakefield Doctrine  ‘it’s alright, you won’t be bothered by anything that might bother you’ “

‘

So what do you want to know?

That’s a pitcha of me and Bernadine. From a reception we were both at, back at the turn of the Millennium.

You know, the past few weeks we been on a pretty busy schedule here with new Posts every other day, a lot of new Readers and all while trying to learn how to do a ‘radio’ show. For whatever reason, it occurred to me this morning that  we might all be thinking this Doctrine thing is clever and interesting, insightful and funny and ‘hey-this-is-refreshingly-different’… well, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.

Surprise Exam: Obviously the guy in the photo is a clark. Which of the three personality types is Bernadine? Is she a clark or a scott or a roger?  Experienced Readers would do well to caution the (newer) Readers from too much giggling and laughing in the metaphorical back of the allegorical class room  here today. This is more serious than you can know.
You might be thinking:  “oh! this is interesting! the writer is trying to change the tone of the narrative (of the Post). How amusing”
and after reading that some of you (the rogers) may start to think: “yeah, great move  don’t overplay your hand, you’re not that good a blog writer“
and after reading that, some of you (the scotts) might be sitting up: “cool! lets see how far he’s willing to push the Readers“
and after all of this, some of you (the clarks) will be thinking: “too late to get out now, better guess the answer and hope to get it right“

No: We are not going to tell you which of the 3 personality types Bernadine was* you are totally on your own.
Yes: We are serious about this being a test and an Exam and carrying consequences.
No: We don’t need to explain it further. If you get it you will understand it and if you don’t ..then you are still welcome to stop by, from time to time and see what we are up to here at the Wakefield Doctrine and maybe leave a Comment about the fun times we used to have… and if you find that thought a little sad or annoying or confusing or anything at all, then there might be hope for you after all!

Hey clarks! a little word in private?  We all know that you are the ones (of the 3 personality types) who stand to gain the most from this ‘theory’ of ‘personality’. You are also the ones (among the three personality types) who will ‘get it’ right away and, …and just so no one forgets what a perverse, potentially horrible, Jethro-centric place life can be, you are also the ones who will sense the natural resistance to change that controls us all. You ever find yourself  in a day when you feel that you finally got it figured out? The people in your day seem different, they are almost encouraging and you think to yourself  ‘finally! enough of that silly weird stuff! I can finally get some balance, the heck with the eccentric shit. I could be happy being like this‘

…and then you walk into the bathroom at work/school/out-with-friends-at-the-mall, a little too quickly and too quietly and you hear, ” did you get a load of clark today? …god! if only he/she knew”

You know what feels worse than that?  …worse than the feeling when you find yourself not wanting to embarrass them by letting them know you heard what they said?
…if you are a clark  you do know what’s worse. We’re not going to say it here. You know it and I know it. Instead, I will say the thing that is even worse than that,  it’s the feeling that

…you are stuck.

But then again, there is one more step (isn’t there always, clark? lol) If you have made it this far, then there is ..not hope, not the offer of a way to think differently, something more akin to …an alternative view. But what do I know?  I’m just the guy who writes this stuff down and projects it out into a world, a world that seems to have a few other people who can identify with what we are saying here.

But it’s nearly Christmas Time and to prove that not all of us here at the Doctrine are totally out of touch with the mainstream culture,  lets listen to Jim Gaffigan tell us about Christmas (and all the other holidays).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJAxRVeKnTE

 

*Bernadine died way, way too young. A few years after the photo was taken. She was articulate and funny, clever and insightful and actually made a significant contribution to the Wakefield Doctrine, in a way that I will not describe at this point, in this Post. Hey, I didn’t get to be the writer of the Doctrine blog by being stupid…at least not all the time.