Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )
Jack( a roger, ya know) and Jill (scottian female) went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack (do anything she tells him) fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill (laughing, you know she was laughing) came tumbling after.
Up Jack got, and home did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
To old Dame Dob (a clark, of course), who patched his nob
With vinegar and brown paper( and so begins the rogerian love affair with hats).
Those mice…those damn pigs, what kind of morality is being perverted when describing injuries suffered by Jack ( don’t even get me started on Jill).. of the three, we all know that clarks are the creative ones. Fine. No one has a problem with that1, well at least not a major problem.
So what is it about clarks, creativity, seeing the the world differently and getting through life as an outsider, mostly unhappy, occasionally ecstatic more often hoping to get by? Is there any question that clarks represent the ‘outsider’, the odd man out, the strange old lady with all those cats?
Jack and Jill? You want to hear more about Jack and Jill? Of course you do! You always want to hear more about the scott and the roger! Oh, Oh, the roger look at him alone appearing so friendly and easy to talk to…the scott, so much energy!! so fun to be with, the life of the party! They are the human exclamation points….scotts, at least the male scotts. Got a problem? “Lets go ask scott! he’ll know what to do, his is always so sure of himself, that must mean he is right. What kind of leader would he be if he didn’t say everything with such conviction! NO…be careful theres a scottian female over there! You better make sure your boyfriend/husband/gee-I-wish-he-would-talk-to me doesn’t get too near to her! scottian female… ( no! bwana no good here, bad juju)2
1) you know you’re jealous (both of you are totally jealous, you! you… roger! you pretend you don’t particularly notice the level of genius being thrown around like empty Frito bags….scott, you at least acknowledge the value by clumsily trying to pass the stuff we clarks create, pass it off as your own, like a five-year-old putting on daddy’s shoes and ties or maybe mommie’s earrings…you are convinced in that subjectively dense consciousness that passes for reflection that everyone believe you are the author of it…)
2) Hey let the movie trailer tell us all we need to understand about the nature and capacity for destruction that is behind the irresistible facade of the scottian female as she tries to pass herself off as a normal, human female!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OinJuZxWzk
About clarkscottroger
Not sure I get the bwana clip??? But Mcgraw? The only thing I sort of like about him is that his daddy was a Majour (British Spelling) League pitcher. Tug McGraw. Mostly with the Mets. Died recently, young, of a brain tumour( British Spelling). Fortunately, Tim is immune to that particular problem. You may notice that I’m using the British spellings of the words. I favour this method. In words like “organize” for example, from now on I will spell it as “organise”. Dispense with the zed.(That’s British, too—Zed). One gets a feeling from this post that some scotts and/or rogers have pissed you off. You seem feel some resentment or displeasure with your scottian and rogerian brothers. I hope you realise (British spelling) how much this hurts the rogers. And how barely noticeable it is to the scotts. (I noticed it–but, I’m exceptional. Above average and all that like that there..)(Thank you, Paul). By the way, THIS scott always recognises(British spelling) the value of the clarks among us. They are enormously entertaining. A bit pedantic and stuffy–but in a cute, lovable way. In fact, for pure company and friendship, you can’t beat a clark. Give me a clark and I’ll give you ten rogers. And, I’ll come out on top. Rogers is useful…I suppose..for something or other..at least clarks think so. They can be rather tasty. Nothing like tucking into(British expression) a warm, fat, juicy roger on a cold winter night. Sprinkle on top some rogerian screams of protest—Yummy. You’ll get over your temporary bad feelings about scotts. It’ll pass. It always does. You’ll even get over your negative feelings about rogers—but I don’t see why you’d want to. But you will. It’s the clarklike thing to do. It’s been my distinct honour(British spelling) to contribute to the Doctrine from time to time. My last comment was,sadly, not allowed. It apparently said some vaguely negative things about some people. If it had been published, I might have ended up in gaol(you know). Old Mr Pedantic and Stuffy saved me from disfavour (bs) among the Anglophiles. My only advice to you–and this is from the heart, Mr. P&S: Take your brain out and dance on it. See if you can stomp some of the rigidity out of it. Ask other people to dance on it too. Get all the help you can get. When you put it back, try USING it. If you had done that all along I think it would not have become so fossilized and petrified. I say this with all the love and respect and blah, blah, blah.
lol…thats more like it!
Everyone knows scotts can “do” outrageous…(hey, how could they not be aware, the volume alone will do it?)
I knew that (you) are more capable than that, I have always held the belief, sometimes against overwhelming criticism, that you can do more…
These WD Comments are the place where I can say to the rest of the blogosphere, “see? I told you he was not just some one-trick pony, replacing a bathroom stall magic marker with a keyboard and internet connection!”
My patience is rewarded and I look forward to Comments written with sarcasm, irony, cynical wit…repartee… (witty-fuckin-repartee!), you know what I mean, jellybean?
ya making me proud, yo
Gads, chaps! Methinks I have fallen into disfavour!!
(wait for it….)
Methink this!!
Hey! Old Men! Shuffle yo-selves off the dance floor and to the side of the room and sit the hell down.
A nice clarklike female will be along to get you some punch. The scottian gal with the plunging neckline, (the one dancing real sexy like) will wipe the drool offa your chins while a couple of rogerian chicks make sure nothing gets too out of hand so they don’t close the place down.
I’m favoring the heels tonight. (Derek Lam fall collection) But they could just as well be boots. (Wait, I mean I am the boots. Glenn. Not)
Fairytale or true life tale. Work, school or play. Can’t it all ultimately be described in terms of the Wakefield Doctrine? Everyone is in agreement that it speaks for itself, yes? See? You guys just proved it .
true that it speaks for itself, true also that it is represented by the actions of those seen here and those seen anywhere, provided one has the knowledge (of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers).
The (various) Laws of Physics, including the Law of damn Gravity took 5,000 years to come to be expressed in the formulae that allows (this knowledge to be put to practical use.)
to wit:
F21 = a bunch of letters and numbers dividing each other, (but thats not whats important right now)
The point here is that by having codified, objectively verifiable knowledge, we are able to put this knowledge to use in situations and applications that simply would not have been possible before…
ex: …the scott that happens to be standing on the sidewalk on the spot where a piano is falling from the roof towards is not going to be thinking…”f21 + gm/r1..” .no! he is too busy whistling and hooting at the women across the street that he knows for sure want to have sex with him because they are both yelling and pointing at him… a common example of scottian behavior.
But unless put in the context of the Wakefield Doctrine, it is of no value, other than as an amusing cartoon…
rogers riding bicycles with dentist mirror things taped to the handelbars and their knees, wearing helmets that are teardrop-shaped (to allow them to break the sound barrier if they get the chance) and spandex body suits with the logos and trademarks of more companies than are listed on the NYSE and Dow Jones…they are not thinking…. ” F= d/dt (mv)”
no, mf, they will be thinking “I am One, Everyone sees Me and wants to join with Me…” right up until the car full of scotts bumps him off the road, yelling something about getting their friend to the hospital…
…don’t even get me started on clarklike females….you are right…attractive (female) shape with the fashion equivalent of a canvas tarp covering the whole thing except the eyes which are the cosmetic version of a neon sign….” I can’t understand why that nice guy who talks kind of mumbly did not ask me out” (she says to the roger in the backseat of the car driven by the scott (who manages to get the upper half of his body out of the driver side window).
Well put. First, understand the theory. Then test the theory. Then use the theory (by practical application )
It is not as difficult as it may appear on the surface but it is one of those things, like practicing a musical intstrument, that you have to do every day. Then, when you least expect it you “see” the theory at work.
(As always, I take offense to comments such as: “with the fashion equivalent of a canvas tarp covering the whole thing except the eyes which are the cosmetic version of a neon sign….” Yes, yes I do take offense!
Is there no one to defend the fashion honor of a female clark? lol)
hey! somebody get Cesar on the phone, one of our little scotts has gone missing!
If you take all the offense, DS, there won’t be any left for the rest of us to take. Just take the offense you need. Leave some for the poor afflicted and oppressed rogers. In fact, leave it ALL for them. Taking offense is their natural right and tradition. Clarks don’t take offense. They just extinct the offending party. THAT is the power of a clark. Don’t tell ME they got no power. So….Come on, baby. BE THE BOOT…just once.