Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers).

Please make yourself comfortable, feel free to browse through the Table of Contents (over there on the right) or just flip through these Posts. There is a lot of information to cover and not a lot of time. So in a nutshell, seedpod, or lunchbox the Wakefield Doctrine is:

a fun and useful way to understand yourself and other people, a “theory” of personality that is much, much more than all those other theories you read about. The Doctrine says, “hey, there are three personality types in the whole damn world”. You and the person next to you and the folks back home can be seen as being one of these 3 types. They are clarks, scotts and rogers. Figure out which the person is and you will know a whole bunch about them. Figure out which of the three you are and you will not only know a whole lot about yourself, but you will be able to change whatever things (about yourself) that you have been trying (unsuccessfully) to change.

Really.  It’s true.

Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that, but for that you have to read more of what we have to say. But to get you started we will say this, the Wakefield Doctrine is gender and culture neutral and if you find yourself saying, “Hey, Mr Wakefield, sometimes I’m one of those scotts and sometimes I feel like one of those roger people.” To you we say, “whats the matter with feeling like a clark?, huh?”  (oh yeah, clarks not do that “I feel like” shit, do they?)
Anyway, we would say, “Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine! You have all 3 personality types, of course, but you are mostly one of the three. Don’t worry about it.

Besides we like to think this Doctrine thing is a lot of fun. We might be talking about someone in the news and one of us will turn to the other and say, “Obama….what a roger!” or we might say to each other, “You know those Progressive Insurance commercials on TV? That Flo person, how much of a clark is she, huh?” So this is not just a website you go to and take a test and find out that your personality type is INTP/otter-with-malamute tendencies, hell no! We have fun because we see clarks and scotts and rogers out there in the world and they act just like the Wakefield Doctrine tells us they should act! And it’s getting like we don’t have to make any of this shit up anymore…the clarks and the scotts and the rogers prove that the theory is totally true. Try it your ownselfs!

Today I have copied a page out of the Table of Contents to show that the personality business is not all dry boring, reading stuff! Clearly we like to borrow stuff, here at the Doctrine. So it should not surprise anyone how we went an sort a used Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck…” thing. But hey if it makes you laugh, then you will be learning the whole thing about which are clarks and which are scotts and which are rogers.

You immediately stop surfing the channels when you come upon a show that uses only black and white documentary photos and film…you might be a roger

You totally love Christmas lawn decorations and cannot imagine having too many lights… you might be a scott

You find a flier stuck under the windshield wiper of your car and you take the time to read it… you might be a clark.

You are asked a question and you start to answer with “in the beginning…”  you might be a clark.

You are addressed by the wrong name and you answer to it without correction… you might be a clark.

You are building model cars/ships/planes, you always put the extra parts  back in the box along with the re-folded instructions for future safekeeping…you might be a roger.

You think that Slacker was the greatest movie made in the 90s…you might be a clark

You think that Borat was one of the funniest movies of the year…you might be a scott

You think that the 107 episode,  Directors cut, 15 DVD un-abashed edition of the compilation (with Writers notes (including what he had for breakfast) and voice-over reading of the credits by someone who knew someone who was a re-enactor who actually got hurt at an event) of all Ken Burns films, PBS episodes and commercials that last longer than most readings of the Iliad is the greatest film of all time…you might be a roger

You have any inclination to wear hats for a fashion statement (for male rogers only) or a ‘fanny pack’ (either male or female rogers), or  any clothing designed specifically for riding a bicycle (branded or un-branded)…you might be a roger.

You happen to be at a golf tournament and feel that it is expected of the members of the gallery to yell anything (including but not limited to “get in the hole”)…you might be a scott.

You are contemplating a project of any sort; a new deck or a term paper, writing a resume or planting a garden and you:

…you look forward to making the list of things you need to buy/gather/acquire first more than anything else…you might be a clark

…you must know what your friends on the ’do it yourself’ shows have done, that is what you want…you might be a roger

…CONTEMPLATE? PLAN? I JUST FINISHED IT! FUCK YOU!! IT’S DONE NO THIS IS FINE THE WAY IT IS… you might be a scott

So, there you have it. You laugh…you join…pretty simple, isn’t it?

Music? of course we have music!*

*we kinda borrow the music too