Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Hosted each week by Denise, it is a time for imagination and craft-development, as we take a prompt word and build a story of six, (and only six), sentences.
(The photo? A very real place in West Greenwich, Rhode Island, USA)
New to our serial story, ‘the Whitechapel Interlude’? Click here.
Prompt word:
JUICE
“The Master and the femeie tânără have gone for a walk,”
I’d asked the right member of the castle staff, seeing how none of the other women in the kitchen and adjacent scullery so much as looked up from their work; answering my question as to the whereabouts of Cyrus St. Loreto and Sarah, her voice had the controlled formality of a physician informing a family of a terminal diagnosis, behind her, several of the older women crossed themselves with an automatic precision that spoke of an upbringing in a world far from my own.
“Well, then I suppose I would be something of an ungrateful guest if I didn’t go and join them,” my raised eyebrow was promptly rewarded, “I believe I heard the Count say something about the chapel;” not risking the sight of more warding-off gestures, I turned and headed towards the main entrance, where an age-bent man held my cloak.
Following the trail left by my friend and my host was not the slightest of challenges, the cold of the night turned the lawn into a carpet of glass, while the bushes that lined the path into the woods, transparent figurines and, soon, I came to a clearing in the center of which was a most curious building.
The balance of roofline with the deliberate simplicity of features implied a church, despite being devoid of cross or other religious emblem, two doors were barred with rough-hewn timbers supported by wrought iron brackets; the cross bar was lighter than it had any right to be, almost floating, as soon as I began to raise the one on the right hand door.
“Given the price Mankind paid for taking a bite of the fruit of the knowledge of Good and Evil, I do not fault your caution, however,” as a boy spending hours alone reading works of fiction, a character’s voice would, on occasion, be described as having an ‘arch tone’, I was quite certain, standing in the candle-dark vestibule what that sounds like, as Count St. Loreto continued, “At risk of sounding condescending, given the comprehensive education provided by the Order, were you aware that God forbade Eve and Adam from partaking of the fruit of two trees in the Garden?”
The candles in the sacristy, in ranks and rows like conscripted soldiers at parade rest, filled the far end of the church with as much shadow as light, where the Count and Sarah stood; to this day it bothers me to no end that I could not be sure whether it was the Count or Sarah who responded, “Surely, Eden being long in the past, there can be little risk and great reward in a sip of the juice of the second tree?”
About clarkscottroger
well put together, music, photo, and phrose. you are the Michnerian master of these.
Thanks, Paul
I did not know there were two forbidden trees – thank you for the colorful education.
“…age-bent man..”
“the cross bar was lighter than it had any right to be, almost floating, as soon as I began to raise the one on the right hand door.”
Bit of a spooky vibe goin’ on here but doesn’t appear Anselm is noticing. Yet.
The tête-à-tête between Cyrus and whoever/whatever is using Sarah comes across as a miniature battle of wills. Really want to know who Sarah’s “ride-a-long” is!
yeah, I agree… they couple be the couple-and-a-half of the year (1885)
Good description: “Given the price Mankind paid for taking a bite of the fruit of the knowledge of Good and Evil, I do not fault your caution” I wonder what that second tree was the fruit of which they are about to taste.
Not a student of the bible per se, but as we’ve seen in previous installments of Whitechapel I am not shy about going to it for quotes and vicarious insights. I came across the business of the second tree in Eden while doing whatever it is I do to write, i.e. wander the aisles of the virtual used book shop that the internet is so good at imitating.
Living forever in our sinful state, well, have you ever read Tuck Everlasting?
no. but I just googled it and read the
Cliff Noteswikipedia page… (the title sounded familiar)… ‘spect I’ll have to have my Kindle fetch me a copyWhat a tantalising final phrase, Clark! Sensuously sinister, this just gets more and more absorbing.
Thanks, Chris… this one was one of those inspired by a song and shaped by a photo
and that photo is mine, in fact, I took it earlier this week… such cool thing (the first time I happened upon it there was that slow… Wait a minute
I always enjoy the sheer delight you have in words, Clark. And yes, that tantalising final sentence…
“the cold of the night turned the lawn into a carpet of glass” – a simple line but delivers the goods in making us imagine that scene and walk.
I like the idea of there being additional forbidden fruits and trees in the Garden – nice use of ‘juice’ there.
yeah, what the hell is the deal with (most of us) believing there was only one ‘forbidden fruit?!’
somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!