Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
It is hosted by Denise.
She maintains a single, (and singular), rule regarding the stories that are submitted: six sentences only.
Previously, in the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf…
As secret societies went, the Order of Lilith could lay claim to being the oldest and most fundamental; at least from the perspective of human history. Its success in avoiding unwanted scrutiny, was, arguably, the result of the determined efforts of others to deny its existence. Whether one choses to believe the backstory that this, mostly benign, organization was grounded in the divine, or simply one of the countless tales and myths and legends that mankind weaves to ward off the ultimate cold of an un-caring universe, matters not. Of course, the same can be said of a one-man detective agency, in a smallish city. Who truly believes they can make a difference in a world full of people and endless conflict?
This week, the prompt word is:
Nebulous
“I don’t give a shit how cliché it sounds, I need help and you’re the only one qualified to provide it,” standing at the windows in my office, overlooking Empire Street and the Providence Library, was a very angry young woman; a chaotic halo of blond hair framed her face like the achromatic light of camera’s flash, challenging the observer to differentiate between image and after-image.
“I’m Lacey Whitelaw and you need to tell me everything about those fuckin nuns in Switzerland and that asshole professor who bailed on me in the middle of the fricken Alps,” I could hear Old Money dab the obscenities with a cultured lilt; surely more Miss Porter’s than Phillip’s Academy.
All the while, sitting in one of the two client chairs facing my desk, was a young man wearing tailor-torn jeans, a five-thousand dollar tweed coat, Neiman, not Savile Row; he had the look of the least dominant member of a clan of hyaena; hunger isn’t always confined to the digestive system and weakness always shows.
I closed the door on Hazel in the outer office, where she’d greeted my return from lunch with a smile as nebulous a warning as the look on the surgeon’s face approaching a family after an hour of emergency surgery.
My admin was attractive, insecurely brilliant, and had the protective instincts of a lioness; she was upset, but not surprised, at my recent projectile social abstinence; that said, compared to the reception I got from Lou, she was a definite improvement, having better eyes and a body that reminded a guy why stupid decisions aren’t the end of the world.
“I won’t waste your time talking about client privilege, so have a seat next to your ride-along, get out your checkbook, Venmo or whatever it is the money-is-no-object crowd loves and I’ll tell you what you need to know.”
About clarkscottroger
very entertaining story, but I think my favorite line is from the introduction:
Whether one chooses to believe the backstory that this, mostly benign, organization was grounded in the divine, or simply one of the countless tales and myths and legends that mankind weaves to ward off the ultimate cold of an un-caring universe, matters not. Of course, the same can be said of a one-man detective agency, in a smallish city. Who truly believes they can make a difference in a world full of people and endless conflict?
No Bpgart! Good six . You are the master at packing sentences. I fell like mine are stubs in comparrison.
No way. I loves your Sixes… all telecaster and short an sweet licks
Love Lacey’s no holds barred round of obscenties… “those fuckin nuns” ha, can imagine a potential new scene now… ‘When Lacey met Lou’ lol, my poor ears 😮😀
Looking at your Six in a cinematic way, Lacey plus her ride-along dude character wouldn’t go amiss in a Lynch scene, say: Wild at Heart or Blue Velvet. Big comps, I love Lynch.
Thanks, Ford.
This was (and will be) an interesting character on the arc. Pretty much ever body else in the story are fully-formed (somehow) characters who, even if they’re not in the mood to tell me the story, will reflect their natures in whatever I write.
Lacy, being something of a ‘one off’ character became, this week, a challenge. I wanted to portray a young woman who is normally not aggressive act in such a manner, driven by anger, fear whatever… how does that ‘look’ in a story. aka do I have the writing chaps yet to pull off an almost entirely ‘new’ character and have her interact and behave in a manner of my choosing?
I’m ok with what I got this week, but, and this is the weird part, I’m anxious to hurry up before Lacy developments a personality of her own.
Ya know?
Yes, this is the risk (a good thing!) when a new character arrives and wants to stamp their personailty (and backstory) into the narration. You almost need to enter a partnership/contract between author and character – to decide how much ‘space’ she’ll get, yet as with most characters she’ll probably end up tearing the contract in half after a while, and say: ‘Nah, this is how we’re gonna do it Mr writer dude.’ 😁
lol
yeah… then there is the ‘hey, those jazz guys don’t care about time signatures or keys and such, how hard can it be?’
In my case it’s: communicate to the Readers that Lacy wants her life to be different, has a sense that it’s mostly her responsibility…. knows that, sometimes, without planning it, she can assert her will in a manner that makes everyone clearly start to respect her if she can only keep it up
…in six sentae
you know… on…18
Well, at least he’s going to get paid…
lol there is that
Counterfeit notes and rubber cheques? 😮 😀
I like the description of the young man: “he had the look of the least dominant member of a clan of hyaena”. And the description of Hazel as “insecurely brilliant”. It looks like we are going to soon find out, perhaps in the next part, what Lacey needs to know.
yeah, I was kinda setting out to see if I could deliberately portray a character’s emotional interaction with others in the story (see my Reply to Ford, down below).
Hopefully I’ll get her to let us know what she really wants to know.
Always a pleasure to try to read between your lines.
Thanks, Mimi
You can’t say Ian’s world isn’t papered with colorful characters.
So now he gets to deal not only with Elias’s ex wife, Leanne, but his young lover. Yup. Never a dull moment.
And about those nuns….not so meek it would appear.
Sentence 3 is my favorite.